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One of the worst dates? Ever.

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We had agreed to meet at a place with “ambience and parking.”

I scored a parking place in front– arriving a few minutes early. We decided on trendy, watering-hole downtown. Perched on a barstool, I waited. Twenty minutes later, a tall, gray-haired man walked in. He didn’t resemble any of the photos I had seen online. However, he was 6’2 and was walking towards me, smiling.   He said, “Dear, you look just like your photo.”

I thought, “You don’t look a thing like yours. Dear.” He made no apology for being late.

He was wearing a tweed jacket-probably from the 80’s that might have fit him then -not now. Chalk it up to: “Needs help.”

He suggested we move to the table in the small garden in the back. We we’re seated in a lovely area far removed from the bar. The waiter dropped off our drinks and we didn’t see him again.

How we went from where did you go to school -where do you live to his cholesterol, resting heart rate, daily exercise regime, and insomnia, I’ll never know.

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On the dating profile, he indicated a passion for water sports, rowing, hiking and literature.

What he divulged was that his rowing took place in his living room-on a machine looking at the water. He was a big Danielle Steele fan. His hikes were to and from the grocery store.

It didn’t take much to decipher we have very little in common.

He displayed a great interest in my former husband.

Generally, my response is “That’s history.” And I move on.

However, Mr. Old Tweed Jacket was like a dog with a bone inquiring about my past. Which made him even less attractive. I suggested we get the check and call it a day. With no waiter insight, he suggested we simply walk out and not pay.

Then, I really knew I was with a loser.

On the way out, he went to the men’s room; I paid the bill.

And I said “Good luck.” (That’s what women say when they have no intention of ever seeing the guy again) He indicated he like to “do this again.”

Ha! Not in this lifetime.

I smiled, walked to my car, and drove off. Dodged that bullet.

 

 

Top 10 Worst First Date Ideas

Everyone has a “The all time worst first date story.” 

Perhaps your egregious first date story doesn’t rival the movie, “Carrie” however, there are some nightmare first date stories.

A flurry of emails from readers and a random poll with the Date Watchers and the Yoga Babes – indicates women know exactly what they don’t want to do on a first date.

Any of these Top 10 Worst First Date Ideas are guaranteed to spoil the day:

  1. Play Paint Ball way too Deer Hunter for most women
  2. Karaoke-not an intoxicating way to spend time- no matter how well you warble.
  3. SpelunkingExploring Caves – an acquired taste –most are too dark, too dull and too much for a first date. Think: picnic instead.
  4. Throwing Pots? Ceramic-making at a cutesy place for kids called something like “Fire Me Up.”
  5. Go-Cart Riding  Driving to the Peninsula is enough for one day – why ruin it with more road rage?
  6. Kite Surfing or Paddle boarding – fall under the too much, too soon, too cold. Who wants to wear a wet suit on the first date?
  7. Pole Dancing Lessons- some people lap it up – others wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot…too much, too soon, too fast.
  8. See the Pyramids? She thought he meant Cairo, Egypt- he meant an Amway meeting.
  9. Swimming in the San Francisco Bay – you maybe a member of the famed Dolphin Club  or a Tri-Athlete- save the show-off until after the first date.
  10. Naked Workshops – Sure, developing rapport, closeness, and intimacy are all goals of a long-term relationship. Forays into the world of ‘clothing optional’ or getting HAI on the first date- not so much.

 

Dating can be a nightmare – or a dream

Relax, have fun and take the time to get to know your date. The first real date should evolve slowly.

The goal is to enjoy yourself in low-key, fun, maybe even unique situation. Now, get out there and play.

“Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. Dave Barry

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at PAGE.LARKIN@gmail.com

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin- reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved

Top 10 “Worst First”- don’t try these dates at home

photo_21523_20120317Everyone has a “Worst-first Date” story and, usually, is willing to share.

Perhaps your egregious First Date story doesn’t rival the movie, “Carrie,” … however, some First Date Stories are nightmares.

A flurry of emails from readers and a random poll with the Date Watchers and the Yoga Babes, indicates women know exactly what they don’t want to do on a first date.

If you really want to turn somebody off make them uncomfortable. 

‘Top 10 Worst First Dates’  – guaranteed to spoil the day:

  1.   Play Paint Ball–  Way too Deer Hunter -for most women
  2.  Karaoke– not an intoxicating way to spend time- no matter how well you warble.
  3. Spelunking – Exploring Caves – an acquired taste –most are too dark, too dull and too much for a first date. Think: picnic ,instead.
  4. Ceramic-making at a cutesy place for kids called something like “Fire Me Up.”
  5. Go-Cart Riding in Burlingame  Driving to the Peninsula is enough for one day – why ruin it with more road rage?
  6. Kite Surfing or Paddle boarding – Falls under the too much, too soon, too cold. Who wants to wear a wet suit on the first date?
  7. See the Pyramids? She thought he meant Cairo, Egypt- he meant an Amway  meeting.
  8. Swimming in the San Francisco Bay – You maybe a member of the famed Polar bear club or a Tri Athlete- save the show- off until after the first date.
  9. Naked Workshops – Sure, developing rapport, closeness, and intimacy are all goals of a long-term relationship. Getting HAI on date number one – not so much.
  10. Pole Dancing Lessons for Her – Don’t even think about it.

On the first date you want to relax, be on your best behavior, get to know the other person. The goal is to enjoy yourself in low-key, fun, maybe even unique –situation. Get out there and play.

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at PAGE.LARKIN@gmail.com

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page, and voila!

 

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