This was sent to Page Larkin
by Evelyn ~ age 88
A Real Man
A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret.
He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in to
her most intimate desires.
He will make sure
she always feels as though she’s the most
beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be her most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible self.
No wait… sorry…I’m thinking of wine.
Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent offers a 3-hour~Monthly~ Inspired Dating Workshop
“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco
- Saturday, NOV 19 10 AM to 1 PM
- Cost: $85
- Limit: eight to a class
- Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (more information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.
Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com
Here are Five Easy Ways
‘Back in the Dating Saddle’
ride off into sunset in 2012
- You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
- Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF
- Be Brave. So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse. If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2012 foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy. Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel Date World 2011
- Volunteer- check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations: St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion.
- Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.
It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20. Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car. Come on in, the water is delicious.
Women Love Men Who Dance
It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed: men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.
The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons: Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.
Three Local Hot Spots for dancing
“Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,
Sing as if no one is listening,
Love as if you have never been hurt,
and Dance as if no one is watching”
Time to curb your “Fear of Dating.”
What are you afraid of, Binkie?
So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box,
Right off the shelf, and New to the dating game?
There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.
Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester.
Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:
The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women
1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – fear of women
7. Hominophobia -fear of men
8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night
Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:
“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”
ADVICE: Hide your IQ –
Show your bra strap….
Hey, smarty pants!
The University of Chicago describes itself
“The place fun came to die.”
September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice. My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you. In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”
The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her. Enrapt.
“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”
Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”
“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”
Lingering in Lingerie
The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused.
Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.
Do smart women intimidate men?
There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.
And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.
The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.
“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;
all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides,
and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.” Virginia Woolf
San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.
Wait, Wait …Don’t Tell Me is a funny, fast-paced, NPR radio show. It’s full of clever questions and glib answers and quizzical conundrums…
Some think today’s online dating draws a close parallel to reality/game shows. Both involve a barrage of in your face personal questions.
The initial, very personal questions are called the “WAIF” (Weight, Age, Income, Faith) Questions.
Check me Out
Imagine a poor little Match.com girl sitting at a café reading People magazine, or the Economist, and a handsome stranger (RU 4real), stops and says, “Hey,cutie, how old are you? How much do you weigh? What’s your annual income? And, tell me~ what do you believe in?”
In the Twilight Zone of online-dating- world she would reply, “Hey, I’m 121 lbs, 52, to be disclosed later, Spiritual. And you?” He, in turn, winks and says, “I’m 210 lbs, 55, income: $50,000 -$150,000. Lapsed Presbyterian”.
She muses and calculates. Then, with a wandering eye, she spies a guy more her “size” says, “Au revoir” to “RU4real”. Voila, she disappears from sight. She may approach the next guy, one table over. She asks about his W.A.I.F. Although he looks shorter and stouter, he says, “I’m around 180 lbs, 55, stocky but, an ex jock, income $75,000-$150,000, Agnostic; I love cigars and snuggling and I’ve read the Da Vinci Code”. Woefully she says, “Too bad; I only read NY Times bestsellers, I’m a triathlete, and, God, I hate smoking , buh-bye”.
And so it goes, like a flippin’ ball in a pinball machine.
Can we streamline this game to a win-win?
Wavering on the WAIF
Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer… the great question that has never been answered: what does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
Well, Siggie, perhaps, just like a man: women don’t want to be asked age, weight, personal spiritual beliefs and income details
before actually meeting a person. Call me.
What San Francisco Needs Now-
The Top 20 List Today
1. More thanks to the SF Giants – This is an Awesome ORANGE October!
2. More Clement Street shopkeepers cleaning the dirty, icky, sticky, sidewalks
3. More Board of Sups who are smart, forward thinking: KRISTINE ENEA D10
4. More Free Days at Cal Academy of Sciences and 50% discount for locals
5. More free concerts in the Park- Thanks BlueGrass + Warren Hellman!
6. More Bridge Tolls locked in at $2.00 - come on~ $6.00 Really?!
7. More FAIR parking meters that take dimes- which buy 10 minutes /not 1
8. Continued Fabulous and wonderful the De Young Museum
9. More people walking – all over
10. More kids outside on swings, slides, and carousels
11. A Pennant – Win the World Series Go Giants
12. More ‘Sneak Peek’ Movie Previews
13. More Ms Manners; less Entitled
14. More people shopping/supporting Indy bookstores like the West Portal Book Store and Book Passages
15. More parking garages that welcome visitors – don’t “rob” them at $10 per hr
16. More Laugh lines~~ less botox
17.More: “Please, thanks, and you’re welcomes”
18. More Tolerance and patience – like the good old days
19. More ‘hi, hello, hey, how ya doing,’ exchanges
20. More clothing donations to Casa de las Madres via drop at Community Thrift Store on Valencia