Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the tag “TMI”

Be a bachelor – for life? Kiss a few frogs or hold out?

Exit SignWhat makes dating so scary?

Since when did men and women become so afraid of one another?

Does on line dating perpetuate a fear of rejection… or a fear of reception?

Perhaps the breakneck speed of on line dating has given singles ‘virtual whiplash’ and an abject fear of rejection. If you are enrolled in a dating service like or EHarmony – you see a parade of faces skating before your eyes everyday. Lo and behold, the following day, there is another picture parade-of-perfect matches.  NOTE: This may cause side effects of head spinning, heart palpitations and ego swelling.


And so evolves, a virtual shopping spree with a Photo-shopping bent. Wannabe-daters go from diligently reading profiles and daydreaming to simply scanning pictures. It might look something like this: Pat: 50, tennis pro, poet, chef, looks good, but Shelly, Noble Peace Prize winner, spelunker, yo-yo champ-looks better. Like a kid on an Easter egg hunt, you pick up one brightly colored object and dismiss it just as quickly, thinking something better will come along. This can’t be good.

Doctor Love: Be intimate and independent

Dr Joanne N ( aka Dr Love) is a leading San Francisco psychologist who studies relationships. She recently said some of her clients have more first-dates than they knew what to do with. One peripatetic client met with 90 women in his first 2  years of being newly divorced.  He had the classic Clint Eastwood experience and met “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” However, he played the numbers game, was laser-focused and eventually met and wed his true soul mate.

Dr Joanne N maintained suddenly single men and women hovering around age 50, want relationships. However, with age, a new requirement has transpired: both sexes have a need for real intimacy and true independence.

They have quaffed the Kool-Aid and succumbed to, as one woman put it, “I  need to be in his arms and then be an arm’s length away.”

She concluded, a healthy dose of compromise and honesty are necessary for a healthy relationship. Right?


Kissing Frogsfrogggg

Your call: do you kiss a few frogs, or steadfastly hold out for the perfect Prince Charming / The Princess and be a bachelor for life?

Would you open your eyes and heart for a fun and fulfilling relationship with the guy or girl next door?

BEST ADVICE: Take your “Must Have List” – the dreamy, long list of  perfect qualities in

your Perfect Mate and shred it~Get real.

Binkie, Look in the mirror. You have to be the person you want to attract. Ribbit.

Read: Page Larkin’s Dating 101 – What are we afraid of?


TMI? Online dating profiles – slow down

Too much, too soon, too fast?

Writing an online dating profile – Too much information is a big turnoff

Sally Rand was the most famous fan dancer in the world.

She was the epitome of artful seduction and enticement. The provocative dancer appeared – briefly – on stage and deftly, slowly, swayed to classical music, hinting and flirting. She got big attention with strategic placement.

Sally Rand – her body of work – a parable

Rand was famous for her six-minute act. While bathed in blue light, the temptress stood on the stage, naked, seductively moving two seven-foot-long ostrich feathers in front of her body to the music of Debussy and Chopin. And the crowd went wild – needless to say. Leaving much to the imagination, she was irresistible and exciting. She said, “If you love living, you try to take care of the equipment.” She might have said, “Less is more,” which is the best advice for writing an online dating profile.

imageshatttRule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t tell all. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute is far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. You may be very proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: Quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a fan may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, clubs – wait on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing … some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works.

Bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

May you have many fans.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

You, too, can learn how to fan dance.

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