Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the tag “TMI”

Ladies, Please Google the Guy

Not exactly what you were looking for?

For you Suddenly Singles and those brand new to Online Dating – read this classic story which bears repeating:

One woman’s story of love, lies, and deception.

 Dear Page Larkin,

I’ll be the first to admit that Math is not my strong suit.
I don’t write down every check in a ledger and I around off all my numbers- it’s easier.

However, I can conjugate any verb in three languages. My participles never dangle, and I will never use a double negative. I studied Linguistics and Romance Languages and have a few degrees. None in math.

It was my best friend, Becky, who said those three words that started the beginning of the end of my romance with Donald.

We met online

 He was a filmmaker, inventor, skier, chef and jazz pianist. We were both 50 something from the Midwest. He was polite, attentive and free to travel. He had a varied and colorful career and was a talented storyteller.

He attended two Ivy League schools and Cal and had a veritable alphabet soup of miscellaneous degrees after his name. He mentioned Patents and some copyrights- all this fell on deaf ears. I was swept up in a blizzard of bliss and didn’t read any fine print.

Our rapid romance was both exciting, sexy and fun… and also somewhat unsettling.

As much as I liked Donald, and I did, there was something awry. Remember the fable about the Princess and the Pea? I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was something – was it too good, or too much?

Then my best friend in the whole world, Trixie, asked me a simple question – she asked me about Donald’s age and his accomplishments.

Blithely, I recounted a number of his careers and copyrights, his degrees and all the schools he told me he attended. She looked at me quizzically and said, “This guy is 50 and has done all that?”  I nodded ‘Yes’, and she said those three hated words:  “Do the math.”

 Incredulous, I counted backwards and realize that a PhD., two masters degrees, an MBA and a BA and 25 year career as an engineer as well as inventor, chef in Aspen, competitive skier and jazz pianist might not quite add up.  I assumed he was merely an over-achiever.

And he was always busy and friends all over the world. And I assumed, again, he was telling the truth

Then Trixie asked me if I had “Googled” Donald, it never dawned on me to research him.

Hearts on a line

We met on line and I thought I did due diligence in asking all the right questions. He was the consummate gentleman and the whole Google process had escaped me.   She repeated herself, “Google the guy.”

So we Googled my darling, charming Donald. Guess how many Donald Johnsons there are? How many ‘hits’ Google has for Donald Johnson? Evidently his is a very common name in the United States and the world.

My pal Diana helped me do an advanced Google search. She’s part Nancy Drew, very much a Ph.D. in Research and Development and a dedicated friend. Within minutes, she came up with “My Donald.”

TMI?  Is there such a things as too much information? No, darling, there is no such thing…

 So we Googled the guy – and found out that he told a tsunami of fibs, lies, fiction, half-truths and falsifications.

photo_21517_20120317-2

Ergo, I punctuated that chapter in my life with a definitive “So Long!” in three languages: Adios y hasta la vista, baby! Au revoir and auf Wiedersehen!

Thank you, Helen of Tracy.

Next!

hearts74__180

TMI? Online dating profiles – slow down

Too much, too soon, too fast?

Writing an online dating profile – Too much information is a big turnoff

Sally Rand was the most famous fan dancer in the world.

She was the epitome of artful seduction and enticement. The provocative dancer appeared – briefly – on stage and deftly, slowly, swayed to classical music, hinting and flirting. She got big attention with strategic placement.

Sally Rand – her body of work – a parable

Rand was famous for her six-minute act. While bathed in blue light, the temptress stood on the stage, naked, seductively moving two seven-foot-long ostrich feathers in front of her body to the music of Debussy and Chopin. And the crowd went wild – needless to say. Leaving much to the imagination, she was irresistible and exciting. She said, “If you love living, you try to take care of the equipment.” She might have said, “Less is more,” which is the best advice for writing an online dating profile.

imageshatttRule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t tell all. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute is far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. You may be very proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Rule #2. Don’t try this at home

Remember: Quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a fan may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, clubs – wait on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it.

Rule #3. It’s all about you

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing … some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works.

Bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

May you have many fans.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

You, too, can learn how to fan dance.

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