Women share, converse, chat, dialogue, exchange… Especially women, 50+ who have started dating again. Their single friends want to know what online dating is really like. Single friends who are also dabbling in online dating want to compare notes. And so it goes.
A certain character in Marin County- 58, lives with his 3 cats in room he rents in Corte Madera thought he was so clever when he Photo-shopped his head on the body of a buff 30-year-old. Oh, yeah, he got a lot of attention.
Consistently, women were quite taken aback by his true Ichabod Crane self. He wondered why his first dates were so brief. Note to clever guy: The truth will set you free.
We share dating stories – at the drop of a hat.
Yes, we discuss the good, the bad and the boring, the great and really good.
It is not uncommon for two women -meeting for the first time- to divulge pretty relevant secrets about their dating forays. Partially, we are excited by the adventure and we feel compelled to warn a sister about a certain clod, Casanova or cretin. It is what we do.
Sharon and Sally both Match.com dabblers and Sausalito singles, 50-ish, found they both, at one time or another, dated the same three men. Who says Marin is a small dating pool?
Both women are tall, blond and interesting well-traveled and obviously attracted similar men.
The take away? Women, extend your boundaries beyond the comfort zone of your hometown. Cross a bridge! Be it Golden or San Rafael or Oakland. Try new avenues.
Men are more reserved about discussing whom they date. Take Charlie. Please.
Charlie was like a kid in a candy store after his divorce and signed up for Plenty of Fish and Match.com and ‘dated’ as frequently as possible. His married friends were green with envy- envisioning their pal with a different bombshell each night. Va, va, boom! Not quite.
The Married Guys didn’t understand ol’ Charlie was ill prepared to date again -he was rusty and was oblivious to the fact that women in 2013 were nothing like the girls he knew in 1983.
After his record-breaking 34 dead end first-dates, we met to talk about what wasn’t working for Charlie. He is brash, a little off-color, and a lousy listener- who showed up wearing sweatpants and an Aloha shirt. We had a ‘come to Jesus ‘meeting. He listened.
Pygmalion of sorts…
Charlie was a quick learner; he was also very willing to move forward to 2013. He was open to deleting his dated wardrobe. Most important: he was willing to work on his listening skills. The Big Lesson: he understood that women liked to be asked questions.
With a little coaching he agreed to cleaning up his obnoxious vocabulary and erase all the off color jokes.
Practice, practice, practice and a whole lot of coaching- and Charles has morphed into a much nicer guy.