Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the tag “Single in Marin”

Why wait for him to call? Do a Sadie Hawkins

Freestanding door in the woods

Ladies who sit back and wait for a man to call, write, wink, or smile first – waste a lot of time.

Carpe diem, girls. Think like Sadie Hawkinsact up and often.

She may have been a cartoon character- but Al Capp’s Sadie–took a walk on the wild side and asked guys out – got dates, and had more fun.

It is a well-known fact, for some men it takes ages for them to get a clue.

Are men really clueless?

Peter M. told me he had been thinking about asking Ginger out on a date for six months before he found the time and courage to do so. Six months – 180 days- 4,320 hours. Life is too short to waste on “Pause.”

Ginger said she had smiled, nodded, and chatted with Peter M. She greeted him each day at the office and nada. Zip. Zero. Nothing. After a time, she figured he was either a dead-man-walking, neuter ,or a true dullard.

He admits he simply forgot to flirt. Divorced for 4 years, he had been single for so long he had turned into a social zombie. However, she did not give up.

Flirting: amorous without serious intent?

Guys, here are signs that a woman is flirting with you: she looks at you and smiles; she says ‘hello’ to you; she engages you in conversation…smiles; she asks you questions not relating to work; she inquires about your social life. You know those casual conversations she starts? That’s flirting.

In an “I could have had a V-8” palm-thud to the head, Peter M said, “Oh! That was flirting?” Frustrated, but not defeated, Ginger embraced the whole Sadie Hawkins concept and asked Peter M out on a date to the new SF Jazz Center to see Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers. Bingo!

Kudos to Ginger for being tenacious – lucky for Peter M that she was…

Remember this:

“Life is short – Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably

and never regret anything that makes you smile.” Mark Twain

See: Should a Woman Call a Man? Absolutely!


Flirt early and Flirt often


Are you flirting with me? Top 3 clues

Top Three Most Obvious Signs of Flirting:

Men (50+) who find themselves ‘suddenly single’ and back in the dating arena- admit to being very confused.

They say they are perplexed by single women and the dating scene – again – in 2013.  They ask if there are new rules.  Men want to know how you tell if a woman is actively flirting or just plain friendly?

Are there specific clues or behaviors that a woman is being playful and coy or acutely not interested? Yes! If a smile, winks, blinks, nods, and signs bewilder you- here are three obvious signs of flirting

Remember: Treat all positive interactions (smiles, nods, waves) as a bona fide flirt.

Sign #1: What’s in a Name? Flirting females frequently use your name in conversation. FYI: This is a very subtle attention getting device. Everyone likes to hear his or her name, right? Listen, carefully and respond in kind.

Sign #2: How do you feel about that? If a woman is interested in you – she might brush up against you: it could be a pat, a hug or a tap. Look for seemingly innocent light touches: on your shoulder, arm, or knee. There is method to the madness.

Sign #3:  Eye Contact? Yes, the eyes have it. A woman who is interested in you will look you in the eye – often – and for more than a split second. Your job? Look back, and smile. Yes, and so it begins…

Incorporate the LALA’s Flirting Method in your daily activities: Look At, Look Again, and Smile. Remember: love looks with the eyes and the mind.


What a Piece of Work is a Man
The opposite of fun and flirting is a ‘Stop’ sign – a dead end. When a man does not respond to our being cute, coy or playful – we move on.

Life is short – carpe diem.
Ladies, here are five obvious signs he is going, going, gone.

Five Signs of Dead End Dates:
1.    He asks you to split the check.
2.    He cancels more than one date.
3.    He takes and makes phone calls during the date; acts distracted and bored.
4.    He flirts with the hostess, the waitress, the bus boy – everyone but, you.
5.    He admits to liking Honey Boo Boo, #45, and polyamory

Those flashing red flags are blatant indicators: something is wrong and it isn’t you. Time for you to move over, move on and  find a new friend.

Time for fireworks in your love life?

fireworks celebration 2Bored by the same old song?

Afraid of becoming Eleanor Rigby...sitting alone in her room?

Take action and try a 7-day free trial available on one of many online dating sites.

Note: The top dating sites have free 3-7 day promotions – very often. Both Eharmony and are advertising heavily on television this summer.

See Match for the easiest “First Step” into the dating online foray. Eharmony will require far more time and energy and cash to get in the game.    No, Binkie, you do not always get what you pay for…

Not quite ready?

Explore the free sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid – just set up an account using very sparse information…and look around…explore your zip code, your age group, your city.

And, have fun out there.

Sparklers are a lot more fun than duds…

TIP: Google the Guy


Dating at 50? Spring ahead


Who Me? Dating at 50?  Top 5 Ways to Spring into Dating

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, and sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car. Come on in, the water is delicious.

You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game.  We may be single-so-far and looking, suddenly single via divorce, or really ready for a relationship.

Like you, many singles are bored and lonely – we may have played too much Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts.  And flowers … and romance.

Top Five Ways to Spring into Dating at 50

  1. Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look members of the opposite sex in the eye, smile and say “Hi.” Do this o five strangers – every single day.” Have fun – spring is in the air.  Start now.
  2.  Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: my columns: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and San Francisco)   Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, Ping-Pong, or spelunking club. Try Tango! Thoroughly examine for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  3. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Throw off – (or gently remove)  that Shroud of Fear and relax into the singles playground. Tell your friends you are thinking about dating.4.
  4. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? Note: a virtual Greek chorus of friends and family may urge you, to get ‘Back on the horse.’  If you have images of a sweet pony-ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2013 foray may be a carnival ride – a-merry-go-round or  a Tilt-a-whirl – at first.
  5. Research and sign up for an online dating site. Try a Free-7-Day Trial – which most big dating companies offer. You don’t need to write a thesis; answer the site’s questions simply,  succinctly with an authentic portrayal of you. Have fun. Yes, it may be exciting or make you very nervous – at first- enjoy the ride.

Some say,  “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” 

But, a good ride.
Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel th e wide wonderful World of Dating – again.

It will be as fun as you make it.photo_30433_20140127

Recycle your Ex-sweetie on Earth Day?

Earth Day  Recycle  bags,  bottles,  and  beaus.

Who are the Real Heroes of Recycling?

2015 Top Three Recyclers:

 1. Fire and Light in Arcata tons of old glass and fashions it into glorious rainbow colored plates, bowls, goblets, and candlesticks.

2. Whole Foods takes those villainous old plastic bags and recycles them into colorful, durable, use- for- a- lifetime shopping bags. Check out the leaps and bounds Whole Foods is making to keep the planet green.Hearts on a line

3. Karyn, the darling of the social set of Marin, throws an annual ‘Singles Romantic Recycle Earth Day Celebration’.

She rolls out the green carpet; she conserves water and serves wine; she encourages everyone into the pool: arrive by carpool. Party favors are tiny redwoods seedlings. The colorful invitation, printed on recycled paper is printed with vegetable dye reads: BYOB – bring your old Boyfriend or Babe.

The Green Party – Recycle your old sweethearts

Partygoers must come in couples. Women bring a man they like and they would like to introduce to other women. Perhaps they once dated and there was affection, but zero chemistry. Guys do the same. Bring a friend – make a friend.

The way it works is: friends introduce friends and there is an underlying current of matchmaking and conviviality going on. This is the 7th year Karyn has organized the Romantic Recycling party. You can do the same. Your friends will be green. Invite them to a party and romantically recycle your friends.

Celebrate Earth and mirth.

photo_11785_20090615peacockAcross the Bridge: Marin County has always been Green

It used to be, you couldn’t swing a cat in Marin without hitting a geodesic dome, a commune, a community garden, a hot tub replete with Peacock feathers or a yogurt maker. Times, they are a changing.

Now, everybody’s a little more subtle: a) no more swinging those cats, please and, b) everyone more discreet – composting is quiet.

Need a new Earth Day mantra? Go organic, change out light bulbs to CFLs; buy recycled, reuse; no plastic bottles. Conserve water – drink wine and, be sure to recycle your friends.


You are invited to the San Francisco EARTH DAY  “Get Very Green Party” April 20, 10AM – 6PM  San Francisco Civic Center


Page Larkin welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

Dear Page: Online dating questions: reveal age and weight?


Hey, Page

I’m thinking about starting on Do I really have to reveal my age? I was raised to believe ‘a lady does not reveal and a gentleman never inquires.’ A friend says I have to divulge my real height, weight, age, income, and education. Why would I reveal this information to a total stranger?

Like a Phoenix

Hey, Like a Phoenix

Good question! On some websites you can get by with a glib “we can talk about this later.” You’re absolutely right, there is no reason to divulge certain information. Your income or your religion – other topics- may be very personal. Your age and weight- will be very obvious when you meet your dates. Be sure to post current photographs of yourself.



Dear Page,

Help! I am brand-new at online dating and I am and lost.  Last week I signed up for Our Time dating.  So far I’ve been contacted by a man with a picture of him sitting on a mule, a man 20 years my senior and another guy claims his ‘best friend is Jesus.’ Another guy who is exactly 1 foot shorter than I am- that makes him 5 feet and I’m 6 feet tall. What am I doing wrong?

Nancy Newbie

Dear Nancy,

Whenever you sign up for new dating site, be sure to specify how far you are willing to travel to meet someone, list your interests, and specificy  age range and height, education level preferences– if that is important.

At first blush, a great looking guy who is 6’, who lives in New York City, might seem attractive, however chances for you, (in San Bruno)  meeting for an impetuous cup of coffee, going for a hike, or a picnic or anything else, are slim to none.

Take the time to be perfectly clear on how far you want to travel, the qualities you’re looking for in a date, and indicate if you have religious preferences (or have no interest in Bible-thumper-fundamentalists.) Good luck- let me know how your fare.


Hello, Page Larkin,

My brother (45) recently came out of the closet, ended his 20-year marriage and is having a dizzying new social life. His shell-shocked wife has decided she wants to go online and start dating. Which dating website would be good for her?

A friend Indeed

Hello, A friend Indeed,

First of all, joining an online dating site after a nasty divorce or separation is not a healthy transition. Indicating that your friend is shell-shocked is a clear indication that she needs therapy, time, and solace. Remember: rushing into dating after a trauma is not great idea. You would much better serve her if you listened to her and politely urged her to get professional help.

Peace and Patience,


Hi Page

I just met Henry (retired, handsome, financially stable) who is perfect, except for one thing. He says his sciatica requires medical marijuana and he grows his own. He has a green house full of thriving plants. I quickly learned not to talk to him after 9 o’clock – as he is loopy. Do I ditch him or stick with him?

Mary Jane

Dear Mary Jane,

You pose a difficult question. Some would advise you to take a look at a 12-step program and take it from there. You might be quite disappointed-if push came to shove- your new beau chose to spend time with his green plants and not you.

Good luck,


Exit Sign

Got time? You’ll need it for EHarmony

After years of being married to Mr. or Mrs. Wrong and the ensuing divorce, many of us quickly sign up for Internet dating. Inspired by those romantic EHarmony ads on TV, we bite.

NOTE:  15,000 People Complete Infamous Questionnaire Daily
It can take in excess of 90 minutes to complete the extremely long questionnaire: comprised of 426 seemingly inane questions covering “29” dimensions. Who knew there was life after the Fifth Dimension?
Finally, you pay the  hefty $70 for a one-month membership.
EHarmony claims the quality of the service and that new-fangled “sophisticated matching algorithm” and unique personality analysis, are so worth it. You be the judge.

 Good News- Bad News

After signing up,  you receive an analysis of your personality and a description of your “perfect mate.”Okay, most of us are seduced by flattery and EHarmony will send pages of prose extolling your virtues. You may be honest, loyal, and steadfast like a Boy Scout. Or eclectic, eccentric and exceptionally unusual. To say EHarmony paints with a broad brush only begins to describe the way they analyze your attributes. Bottom line? We all want to see a long list of perfect match -Prince or Princess Charmings.

From all the TV ads, couples evidently connect at breakneck speed. There seemed to be a lot of happily- ever- after- going on, right?

sad man  Hurry Up and Wait …

Then, much to your chagrin, you learn what the term ‘glacially slow’ means.    A glacier moves one tiny fraction of a millimeter of an inch every several thousand days – just like EHarmony.    Okay, so the exact glacier mass measurements are fiction — but the fact that EHarmony is slow is pure fact.

It’s incredibly, mind numbingly, slow. Be prepared to wait, for a very long time.


Just like Christmas Morning?

Annie, an ‘EHarmony Escapee’ and one of the Yoga Babes said this about her so-called Perfect Matches:

“One man lived 95 miles away and was three inches shorter than I am in my stocking feet. Next, Lauren, a cattle rancher near Reno liked chess and NASCAR.  Me? Not so much. He was 14 years older than I am. Next, Frank of Santa Rosa (doesn’t anybody live in San Francisco?) was a pilot, a triathlete and made his own beer. Granted, I have a preconceived notion about triathlons and I won’t try an athlete who trains 20 hours a week. I want a guy who likes to walk on the beach, not swims to Alcatraz; I like taking a leisurely ride through Golden Gate Park; not at breakneck speed.

The final ‘exact match’, or so they claimed, was Roland from Fresno. He liked cigars, port, his Bible and his six greyhounds- dogs, not buses. My allergies kicked in, just reading his profile. We didn’t have one thing in common.
So, what I hoped would be like ‘Christmas morning’ was more like three lumps of coal. I quit after one month of disappointment.    I’m now on and happier with the results.”

Worth a Try?

One size does not fit all and, yes, there are tens of thousands of very happy members on EHarmony. The website   is a treasure trove of opportunities: you can order flowers, Fandango tickets, buy insurance, and, yes even prescription drugs; there are pages and pages of pretty mild dating advice. Seriously. It may be a perfect fit and first step for your lifestyle and expectations.

Don’t miss the ever-optimistic EH Project Wedding site.

Bottomline: You don’t know what you like until you’ve done some research. Try new avenues, new techniques and new dating sites. Most important? Be sure to have fun on the quest.

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Vincent van Gogh

Like Playing ping pong underwater

Try Discounts Here

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach

and dating docent offers

The  3-hour Inspired Dating Workshop

Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving”

in San Francisco

Saturday, 10 AM to 1 PM

  • Cost: $85
  • Limit: 16 to a class (SOLD OUT)
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (more information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

Everyone wants to be Irish this weekend- Slainte!

 IMGP8751WIRISSS A world of shamrocks, shillelaghs, Guinness and Blarney

In second grade, at the St. Patrick’s Day talent show, Dick Riley recited a poem he wrote weaving in the surnames of everyone in our class. He cleverly used all 55 names and finished with a flourish that now seems more James Joyce than eight-year-old boy.

In grammar school I walked to school with the Murphys, the Donovans, and the Sullivans. I ate lunch with two Maureens, two Colleen’s, Mary Kate, Mary Ellen, and Mary Margaret.

On our street we had Burns, Burkes, Brennans, Callaghans, Monaghans, and the Falk families. The milkman was Mr. Walsh and the grocer was Mr. Kelly.

At our high school reunion: 50% of us had become collapsed Catholics.

60% of us were English majors; everybody had memories and memoirs. Mary Margaret Eileen Sullivan was once a nun and she kicked the habit and married an ex- Jesuit. They had one son at Notre Dame and another at Georgetown. Whereas few of us would be called good dancers, many of us knew 12 Steps.

Our heroes include James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, William Butler Yeats, George Bernard Shaw, Samuel Beckett and Seamus Heaney. And, of course, Billy Collins.

Corned Beef on Wry

Although we didn’t appreciate it at the time, we were lucky to have the Sisters of Mercy as teachers. Sisters Suzanne, Brian and Elise were the brightest of the bright; women of great vision, energy and humor. Thank you, sister.

With a flurry of funny cards, emails, texts, and phone calls, we salute St. Patrick’s Day and our proud Green- before our time- heritage.

Green with Envy!

St. Patrick’s Day celebrations were held as early as 1737 in Boston.

The first St. Patrick’s Day parade in New York was 1763. They say the Irish are a creative contention, with ready wit, a quick retort, good humor and good fellowship. Celebrate the day everyone wants to be Irish. Slainte.

“May those who love us, love us; and those who don’t love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limping.” Irish Blessing


Dating in San Francisco sucks: top three reasons


San Francisco may very well be a world-class city; one of the most desirable places to live and the

‘Crown Jewel of California,’ but it sucks to have to “date” here.


The Top Three Reasons:

  1. The Weather

  2. The Parking

  3. The Traffic

#1. Sunny California is a PR Hoax

In June, July, and August, you pull on your heavy coat, muffler, gloves and boots. The groaning foghorns haunt the early morning air – keening. And warning you about the weather of the day: thick, wet, gray, and fog – again. Your hair will be a mess. Curly hair goes “all frizz.” (Tip: BART over to sunny Berkeley and shop at the mind blowing Berkeley Hats for a warm summer chapeau.)

Don’t even try meeting on Nob Hill in the summer months- be prepared for whipping winds and freezing fog as you cross the street from the Big Four, or the Fairmont’s Tonga Room to the Top of the Mark.  The wind tunnel as you leave The Clift Hotel wind tunnel is equally as egregious.

All your friends in San Rafael, Walnut Creek, and Burlingame are wearing sexy sundresses and your enshrouded layers of wool and fleece. The message: -flee the City!

2. The Traffic

So maybe you ride your bike to work from the There- is-no sun-in-the-Sunset District. (Another ancient marketing hoax)

However, you loathe the “Wiggle Room” bike path on Oak Street where multiple copies of show-off  Henry Ego swoosh by- with nary a “on your right.”

You see a bike accident every day and decide to go ’public transportation.’

Hello, MUNI?

Have you ever taken the 38 Geary at 6 PM to get downtown? Be prepared for  a plethora of winos, derelicts, and bizarre del mundos, and, no, they will not give a seat to a lady. There you are teetering on your Manolo’s, wrapped in a scarf, heavy coat, a warm hat – (from Berkeley Hats) gloves and you notice the inmates are running the Asylum.

So, taxicabs are the answer-and they aren’t cheap (I do love LYFT…DeSoto cabs and

3. Perfectly Putrid Parking

If you drive, you know parking costs are astronomical and parking tickets are like snowflakes in the East. They’re everywhere. Armies of rabid meter maids circle the Marina, Union Street, Union Square and SOMA – shooting tickets with great speed and alacrity from their ticket guns- earning that over $90 million revenue in parking tickets for the City.

guys-i-datesdA First Date Tale

In June, Jill from Brisbane agreed to meet Michael R. at the Burger Bar atop Macy’s On Union Square. It was a “first date” therefore,  special.

No one told her it was prom night, free-movie on Union Square night, and the Apple convention. As she blithely approached the City, the traffic came to a grinding halt.  She turned to KCBS 740 AM for the traffic: Nightmare on 101. Too late to try Highway 280.

She sat seething – for one hour- then was advised by her date- he checked – every parking lot around Union Square was ‘full.’ He suggested they meet in Brisbane- free parking, no fuss, and no muss. She liked him already.

Bridge and Tunnelers swarm into the City on weekends. They come wide-eyed and optimistic. They leave – with pockets empty, parking anger on “high” and fed up with the traffic.  Big Buzz kill.

Backup on the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge can be catastrophic.

So there you have it.

The weather sucks, parking is ephemeral, and traffic is like sludge. Other than that, San Francisco rocks!san-fran

Top 10 ways to get your Valentine’s Day mojo moving


Valentine’s Day is a sugar rush for See’s Candy

and for Hallmark cards.

Florists are in 7th Heaven having dozens of acres of red roses bought and sold this week.

What about the rest of us, sweetheart?

Remember: Valentine’s Day is about Happy Hearts, Hugs, flirting, wearing all shades of red, pink and crimson.  February 14th is the one day of the year we can “Blame it on Cupid” while we gather up courage to flirt early and flirt often.


Top 10 Ways to Get your mojo moving and in the mood for Valentine’s Day

  1. Say ‘Hell-o!’ to that cutie you see every day
  2. Smile at strangers
  3. Send Valentines wishes (roses are red, violets are blue, meet me at…)
  4. Invite a ‘hearty’ acquaintance to join you for a walk through the Presidio – and a drink at Presidio Social Club
  5. Wear red – all week long
  6. Buy “Big Hunk” candy bars for all your girlfriends. Give away Hershey kisses
  7. Text, twitter, e-mail, and nudge your friends on Face book: reach out and hug someone
  8. Make Valentines; check out Free Range Stock for fabulous photos
  9. Meet at the beauteous Palace of Fine Arts  Learn about San Francisco hero,  Walter Johnson, who saved the once dilapidated – now most romantic -landmark
  10. Invite a small group to meet at Amoeba Records, agree upon a romantic comedy DVD; have dinner and Sangria at Cha-Cha-Cha ; watch the movie with red wine and red velvet cupcakes, Sweet!
  11. Send everyone you know a simple “I love you” message -pay it forward
  12. Create a CD of all your favorite romantic love songs – share – Besame Mucho!

Everyone loves to be remembered on Valentine’s Day.

So, Buy yourself flowerspink rose

Have a happy healthy heart!


Post Navigation