Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “relationships”

Her idea of a great date? Eating?

Diana changed her name to Lady Di when she signed up for online dating sites.            At first, she played cute and flirty. She listed a ton of fun activities (copied from the Bay Guardian) and posted an obscure photo of herself.  She was delighted with the flood of attention. She responded to each and every wink, note, and query.  She found 50% were dead-ends: no response. Quelle bummer.

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On a whim,  she listed her Top 10 Favorite Places in San Francisco. There was no mention of Golden Gate Park, museums, cafes or bars, special events, the Presidio, Chinatown, DogPatch or the SF Giants. This is whot she wrote:

My Top 10 Places

1. Neighbor Bakehouse = Cinammon Almond Bostock
2. B Patisserie = Choco-yum-croissant
3. Zanze’s Cheesecake = The Classic Cheesecake
4. Ariscault = All Yummy Croissants
5. Yasukochis Japantown = 1960’s Classic Coffee Crunch Cake
6. Chili Pies Baking Co.= Berry, Chococlate, Every Pie
7. Dynamo Donuts = Famed Decadent Donuts
8. Golden Gate Bakery = Egg Tart to die for
9. Mr Holmes Bakehouse = The Famous Cruffin, 
10. La Luna Cupcakes = Six Pack Cupcakes
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Lady Di said very few men responded to her lovingly created and curated list. And she was perplexed. She thought, for sure, her long list would attract somebody of a like mind. Zip. Nada. Zero.

When we met for the first appointment, she admitted to the dead end she hit with her sharing of her food passion. She was very perplexed and had no idea what she had done “wrong.” When I asked Lady Di what her favorite activities were, without hesitation, she admitted “Eating.”

Her weekends were dedicated to exploring new restaurants, ice cream stores, and bakeries. She really had no use for exercise, sporting events, touring, biking, or long walks. 

We spent an hour digging deep looking for other interests. She used to knit, used to ride bikes, went to Napa wine tastings, had dance lessons and  attended multiple sporting events and, one day: she didn’t. Getting Diana to admit to what the pivotal event was to turn her from (30 lbs lighter) an active, outgoing woman to a “Foodie,” ws the result of two more meetings.

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to be continued…

 

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Daddy’s little girl wakes up

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Lucy sent an email to her four best friends- advising them they all had permission to loudly remind her  “He is not that into you” every time she started dating another dead-end dude.

She told the girls they had her approval to remind her, immediately, if I she ever started dating a loser.

Embarrassed, she admitted that she rationalized when Richard L. got moody and sullen she chalked it up to the pressure of his job at the University.  Later, when Gregory S.  was hostile and aggressive she sloughed it off and said he was just tired. The worst was Michael, whom all the girls hated because he treated Lucy so poorly: he didn’t show up for dates, he didn’t call her back, he obviously was cheating on her and, Lucy let him walk all over her.

Years of therapy had taught Lucy that her father, the dominating (yet suave and charming) playboy did a number on her. She aspired to be sweet and seductive and always ended up with all the wrong guys. Her friends organized intervention and told her to stopping a doormat. She listened and from that day forward, she changed and grew stronger a little bit every day

 

No one expects the doormat to stand upright, shake itself off, and amble down the street to seek its own happiness.

Lynn Coady

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Dominant

Beware of the Marina Playboys?

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Dear Page Larkin,

Melissa, my BFF, just told me that my former “boyfriend” is doing the Marina bar scene has turned into “Mr. Tinder.”

A friend of a friend told her she had seen him on Tinder and he had been seen at various Marina and Union Street watering holes with a different woman, every week. This guy, Alex played me like a fiddle. We, too, met on Tinder. He was cute and flirty and claimed to being way over his divorce.

We had drinks at my favorite pub, and I fell like a ton of bricks. I was seduced by his flattery. He gazed at me told me I was beautiful and later he commented on how sexy I appeared. Prince Charming laid it on thick and, for some reason, I was buying.

This popular pub is famously noisy and one must lean in to hear. Our knees were touching under the tiny table. As he looked into my eyes, he reached for my hand. (Electricity.)  Then he asked if he could kiss me. All this is before we’ve even had our drinks served

I’ll cut the chase and just say I fell fast and hard for this guy. I have met a parade of guys only looking for a one-night stand. Been there done that. This was different. He was sincere. After a few drinks, and a heart to heart conversation, and disclosing we were both looking for more than just one night stand – I went back to his place.

None of my girlfriends were shocked when I told them that Prince Charming sent me a text the next day telling me how wonderful I am.

Then he lamented he was still grappling with the divorce and all that entailed.

Again a steady stream of compliments came the clinker: let’s be friends.  (Wait for it). With benefits. 

I cancelled Tinder. I cancelled Alex the Playboy who is sowing his so-called Newly Divorced oats… corn and tripe.  Please warn all the girls out there.

Ursula

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Dear Ursula,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It must have been painful for you. You are lucky to have girl friends who look out for you.
Unfortunately, your story is not a new one.Beware the wolf in sheep’sclothing and be more discerning before you leap into bed with anyone

Cheers,
Page 

 

 

 

 

 

Date Bait: Want to hook a honey for Christmas? Best Match.com on

Patty W. lives in Pasadena and was single/again for two years befor she signed up for Match.com

In a flight of fancy, she filled out the online dating questionaire and in a short while,( read: one week)  she met the Love of Her Life. Yes, Binkie, it happens.

Patty in Pasadena

Hi. I am happy and positive, sensual, physically fit, passionate about life and very self-assured. Friends describe me as open, thoughtful and caring with an empathy for others.

You want and truly value a partner who is loyal and can be there for you, in all ways, and support your needs as well as your own. 
You’re active, attractive, eager to explore, intellectually curious and like to play. 
 
You have a busy and engaged life you love, but want a partner and best friend to share the highs and the lows with, and to grow together. You love to touch and be touched, and desire the emotional and physical intimacy that you know in your heart is truly possible. 
My “dream partner” and best friend is family-oriented, smiles a lot and is up for the adventure of life–comfortable with spontaneous (and perhaps even crazy) spur-of-the-moment trips both near to home and far away, when that is possible with our mutually busy schedules. 
 That week,  Patty had a dozen winks and few one-line notes from guys  and a sweet note from Gary in Oxnard. His note led to a lengthy, entertaining, phone call, a coffee date which lasted three hours and involved a long walk- replete with lively conversation and a connection.
That was a year ago. The two are making “Future Plans” and are forever indebted to miraculous Match.com.
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Miraculous

Like jumping on a treadmill at full speed?


Welcome to your new role as Suddenly Single; ready to enter Dating World 2017?

You will gradually discover The Rites and the Wrongs of The Mating Game. Take heed. Research indicates there are two smart ways to look at the initial stages of the Dating Game:

1. Try the Rose Colored Glasses Technique – one rife with optimism and a healthy dose of denial – both considered keen coping devices.

2. Or, another popular system, most oft used by the strong of heart is the Cold Shower of Reality Technique.

The Rose Colored Glasses Technique  involves a Head Down, Heart Up, Gung Ho attitude where caution is thrown to the wind and you are wide open to new experiences – free from skepticism and negativity. You view DATING 2017 be like boarding a streetcar – knowing full well another will always come along…

Cold Shower is less forgiving and a lot more direct. There are no streetcar metaphors – more jumping on speeding Treadmill symbols come into play.

What are you up for?

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Tell me your story: page.larkin@gmail.com 

Denial

Dating 101: Are all the good ones are taken?

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He says, All the good ones are taken.

Steve went to brunch at a friend’s home on Sunday. He knew he was being ”fixed up” yet, again. All of his married friends wanted him to be “As happy as they were.”

For years, he had observed the happy couples -the snipes, the snips, the eye-rolling and wondered just how happy they actually were.

Then again, who was he to wonder? He had been on six different dating sites the last eight years, and was still “Just looking.”

Truth be told, hundreds of dates later, he concluded, it was a jungle out there. More often than not, he fell in love. And it was rarely reciprocated. Women that this age and stage (50/60) were tough. Either they had a “My Man Must Have List,” or they were “Just The Sex, Please,” one-night-stand-women.

He tried Tinder and met a beautiful redhead, his age, height, and education who just wanted someone “To hold her once a week,” that’s all. Next!

This time, his “fix up” was Veronique. She was short, perky, with a head of curly, gray hair and a perpetually surprised expression. Having been around the block a few times, he knew Veronique was 60, if a day, and she had some work done. No one look surprised all the time.

Nevertheless, she was lively and interesting. She been to Thailand (Red flag-he had seen 60 Minutes about Thailand being the plastic surgery capital.)

When she spoke passionately about “the twins,” he assumed she was talking about her kids. No. She had two Siamese cats, that were highly intelligent and she knew they spoke to her in Cat Language.

That was it.

Steve did his Perfect Guest Act, he helped clear the table, helped the hostess with dessert routine, and, then  “Oh, my! Look at the time.” He had to go and pick up a friend at the airport. Floods of apologies.

He had this exit down to a science. Hasta la vista, baby.

Steve swore he would never get fixed up again.Until it happened again…

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She dated Luke Warm for too long

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Kelly and Luke went out for a month before she realized he was a dud.

All talk no action?

Luke could talk.  Kelly noted he had a steady flow of so-called plans, plots and ideas. 

When it came to romance, he would caress her hand and whisper in her ear, and explain he wanted to take her to Paris to un petite lingerie shoppe and buy her the most alluring lingerie. Then Luke got distracted and she didn’t hear from him for a week.

Out of the blue, he would call and ask her what she was cooking for dinner. She would rattle off a  gourmet concoction she had dreamed up and as he was about to invite himself over, she informed him she was seeing “other people.”

He  tried his mightiest to sweet talk her and she bowed out. She had his number.

He tried to interest her in going to Burning Man in her SUV- and she had images of burning a VooDoo doll of Luke instead.

A month later, he called and she didn’t pick up – ever again.

Either be hot or cold. If you are lukewarm, the Lord will spew you forth from His mouth.

Jerry Lee Lewis
Lukewarm

Oh, boy! There are boys in San Francisco Uh oh!

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Person connecting and sharing using social media networks

San Francisco: No Country for Old Men?

Fact: Floods of People of Color are exiting San Francisco at an alarming rate.

Fact: Scores of men from TagFut are moving to the City to pay $3000+ rents.

Run! TAGFUT* is here!

 (*Twitter, Apple, Google, Facebook, Uber, Tesla)

Who are these men coming to San Francisco in droves ? Could this be like the 1848 Gold Rush where the streets of San Francisco were lined with randy, party loving, dancing, prancing men with gold in their pockets?

Er, not so much.  The gold in their pockets, yes.

The sad story about the population of locals evaporating and explosion of TagFut Males Techies (Single, Asian/ White, under 35)  moving in-  creates ire.

Millennials who grew up in San Francisco resent the fact that they cannot rent in their City,  that their  favorite bars, restaurants, and cafés are taken over by these pseudo-hipsters who have a lot more dinero than they do. And, the girls aren’t happy either!

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 Sure, there is a  trickle of  female techies-  who bemoan the fact  that these nerdy guys with a whole lotta money, don’t know from flirting and are totally lacking in social savvy.  Hence, their predilection for Yelping every restaurant, bar  and cleaners in San Francisco.  A  girls got to do, what a girls got a do.

Yelp couldn’t be happier.

The best analysis of the Travesty Techies taking over the city is found here See: Priceonomics

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Where do you find a manly man? An intelligent guy with some humor, wit, panache and manners? Looking for a great guy who is both kind and sensitive enough to be able to ‘read’ you and smart enough to ‘get’ you? It is part luck and part serendipity.

Be open and you could meet the love of your life. It happens

Catch his eye – catch his heart: Look up, look around, smile more, say ‘hey’ more often. Just do it: sign up for  a free 7-day trial on an online Dating site. Get off the couch, push away from the computer and go outside and play.

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“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”      

Thomas Paine

Diverse

Girls…in San Francisco

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The Girls – SFO

We were twenty-something: dreamy, hopeful, and optimistic. As children, we were told we could do anything and “be someone.”  We were fraught with no dates, too many dates, boring boyfriends – exciting trysts – which ended in hours of analysis with roommates over wine coolers, Double-stuffed Oreos or Sara Lee cakes.

 Unlike Girls  on the popular HBO TV show, we wore robes, kimonos, baby dolls, negligees, and cover-ups. Nude? Not so much. Our speech was peppered with “Gag me with a spoon,” and “Righteous,” and  “Like, totally.”

 As girls, our cooking repertoire defaulted to Lean Cuisine, Hamburger Helper, the miracles of Cheez Whiz, and Bisquick. We drank Tab, frozen daiquiris and Cosmopolitans.

 We shopped at Joseph Magnin’s then slipped into Blum’s for a slice of Coffee Crunch cake. We popped into the exquisite, green- marble, ladies room at I. Magnin. We hiked over to the Emporium and bought Japanese water-flowers in Chinatown.

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We knew every cool happy hour in San Francisco and who had the best free hors d’oeuvres: Paoli’s.

We knew we looked stunning in leg warmers. We wore mega shoulder pads, mini skirts, and knew a lot of guys in Members Only jackets.

In the 80’s. our haunts included Henry Africa’s, Lord Jim’s, the Balboa Café, the Cadillac Bar, and Perry’s.

Marin was “Over there”- famous for the No-name Bar and Jules Broussard at Sweetwater. We rarely went South of Market and the tacky Tenderloin was a “Do Not Enter Zone.”

It was a decade of “I am woman hear me like roar… or whine, or like, totally, like exclaim.”

Women

One by one, our Girls number dwindled as we got into real boy-girl relationships. HBO Girls makes it look hard. And weird.

We gave up our lives as Mary-Ann-Singletons in San Francisco and join ‘The Marrieds.’

Our parents- as newlyweds- had all moved into Park Merced. We found flats and apartments in the Richmond, the Sunset District, and the Marina. Visions of babies were dancing in our heads. Many of us started families and juggled careers along with the PTA meetings, carpools, endless homework, expensive orthodontia, exhilaration and challenges. Sandwiched – we care for our kids and our aging parents.

Dames

As girls, we thought we were Kool and the Gang – never expecting we would become the Golden Girls. We had our “Wonder Years” – they have lasted decades – and then we will become: dames.

There is nothing like a dame

We will have a penchant for comfort over style. We still love shoes and spend our money on comfortable Mephisto’s and Munro’s and Merrill’s. There are grandchildren in our futures – or our laps.

Life Happens

 After years of headaches with the glass-ceiling syndrome and we leave careers and marriages and start new chapters. We will be dames. There is nothing like a dame…like a Maggie Smith, Nora Ephron, Angela Merkel, Hilary, Melinda Gates, Helene Gayle, Sister Simone Campbell.

HBO’s young Girls are famously awkward – in so many facets of life – as evidenced by the multi-talented Lena Dunham as she staggered on stilettos to the Golden Globes stage to receive not one – but two – awards. Go, Girls. One small bit of advice for the staggeringly famous: comfortable shoes.

Dames Rule.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.    Henry Ford

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”  Agatha Christie

OUR GANG_12

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/gathering/”>Gathering</a&gt;

Wear White, Drink Red and Labor Day Blues

guys i datesdThe lazy, hazy, crazy, dog days of summer come to a barking halt on Labor Day.

And, It will be time to turn in your ‘summer whites’ for more serious threads.

Romantically speaking:

So, it’s time to take stock and review: How did you make out this summer?

Did you flounder, find her, find him, have fun or a fling? Is there romance for you in the air – wafting through the barbecue smoke? Have you had fireworks and dazzle or quiet and calm?

It’s never too late to get “In the Mood” and throw caution to the winds of romance. Go outside and play. Revel in the  last vestiges of summer…Hop on a ferry and get thee to the famous and very fun Sausalito Art Festival. Explore Golden Gate Park. Create a picnic. Invite friends over and walk to the beach…or take the bus…

Drink Red: Oh, Meiomi!  Here is a hot tip on a Pinot Noir…Try this: meiomi wines

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Skip the Blues -and  subscribe to the lovely poem by 

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Give All To Love

Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the muse;
Nothing refuse.

‘Tis a brave master,
Let it have scope,
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope…

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Now get out there and play while the sun shines bright.

Happy last days of summer.

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“Long live the sun which gives us such color.”

Paul Cézanne

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