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Men at 50 – confused and crazed by women at 50?

sad-man
Inquiring Men Want to Know
: This week brings questions from men about serial dating, flirting and frustration. I endeavor to answer the questions as best as I can. Send your questions, queries, and quibbles to page.larkin@gmail.com

 

Dear Page

My friends say I’m like the guy in the movie Network who screams “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I’m really frustrated. I have been on three different dating sites in three years. No luck. I keep meeting women who send old photos, who lie about their age and smoking and who don’t seem to have an Emotional IQ   Is it me?

Just like Peter Finch

Dear Just Like Peter Finch,

While nobody said it was going to be easy, online dating should be fun, at best. Sorry to hear about your tribulations. Don’t give up.  Be more direct in your profile stating an interest in self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, and the ability to love. Try again.

Peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m 63, retired, divorced, healthy and look and feel the best ever. My new girlfriend is 55 and  hot. There is one drawback: she’s what you call a serial dater. She’s a gal with the ‘kennel of doggie bags’ in the refrigerator. She goes out almost every night- not with me. She is only free on Wednesday nights. Am I wasting my time?

Berkeley Bob

Dear Berkeley Bob,

If you are “girlfriend” is dating three other men each week, sit down; she’s just not that into you. She is obviously playing the field and, Bob, you’re not on her roster. It’s time to move on, and try greener pastures-you deserve better.

Peace, Page

Hey, Larkin,

I read your piece about ‘Men are like Champagne.’ Well, my experience says women are like eels. You can’t get a handle on them and they get away.

Morgan Hill Mike

Hey, Morgan,

Good point. There are 1 million stories ‘in The Dated City’ and just as many metaphors. Following the whole fishing metaphor: I’d say the more lines you put in the water, the better your luck. See: Dating 101: Catch and Release. Have fun out there. Remember, online dating is a number’s game – and you have to get in the game to win.

Peace, Page

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click, click, Click the Subscribe button.photo_2787_20070814

 

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Reading between the lines on online dating profiles?

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Expect a little: “To Tell the Truth”  a bit of  “I’ve Got a Secret”  and some “Dark Shadows”

Dating Soap Operas:

Reading dating profiles on Eharmony, Match.com, or Tinder can be dizzying. As you wade through a minefield of clichés and brags, you wonder how to decipher this barrage of data. Is there some kind of code? Where do you get a romance Rosetta stone?

The answer? Read between the lines and take it all with a grain of salt. Okay, maybe a shaker of salt.


Due diligence and deciphering

Steven D. wrote that he ‘hailed from the citrus belt of California’  (Orange County, Republican). He reads the New Yorker and legal stuff (lawyer).

He loves debating (argumentative) and says his two kids are his best friends (uh-oh.)  He says he’s tired of restaurants (cheap) and prefers TV dinners on the couch (yawn)  In his profile photo, taken from afar,  Steven D. commits a grave error by wearing the egregious hat and sunglasses (hiding: bad hair, no hair, squinty eyes, tattoos). More red flags.



To Tell the Truth

Ricki  writes that she ‘likes Jenga and Scrabble‘ (couch potato) and her cats.  She says she is s “A  big woman, with a big heart and big fun.” No mystery there; Mickey’s candid photograph indicates the same. Give her credit: she is honest and to the point.

‘Walter Mitty Mike’ should be a fiction writer

Despite his friend’s protestations, Mike writes that he is “a doctor with three North Bay offices; he collects old cars, has a place in the mountains, and  a pied-a-terre in the City, in addition, he collects French wines.”

His best friends will tell you, actually, the veterinarian business is slow, so Mike works three days a week all over Petaluma and Novato; he drives a great old truck; has a Rambler and a Corvair; and he has a big tent, in the summer, above Truckee. His place in the City? He camps out with a buddy in a studio apartment in SOMA, where the two like to party and paint the town beige. Mike likes a good story and tells one — after another.

Someone has to tell him Ménage a Trois is not a French wine. And, that there is a time and place for everything.

photo_6972_20080817“I am a Barbie Doll”  writes her entire profile in uppercase letters.

Those in the know say, beware: possible anger issues here.  Barbie says she’s “spontaneous to a fault” (red flags flashing). This generally translates to disorganized, ditzy, and unpredictable. All are qualities some men might … cherish. Or not. Clever Barbie writes she is looking for a Ken doll with a Maserati…or Porsche…Millionaire.com didn’t work out for her. Tsk.

There are a lot of stories in “The Dated City”

Remember: Honesty is the best policy and the truth will set you free — and help you avoid embarrassing situations. Give online dating a whirl and have fun out there.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.
San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: Page.Larkin@gmail.com

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Sugar n spice or frogs and snails? Boys vs. girls on the dance floor

And the ladies begin the Beguine….

What are little boys made of?  What about little girls: Sugar and spice and everything nice?

The Dance of the Sexes: The Evite said come to a dance- filled experiment in “Sexual Energy Escape.”

Sixty  people showed up to a makeshift Berkeley ballroom in a funky warehouse space to participate in the dance event. Thirty men and thirty women, all 40 to 50-something, by invitation only – facilitated by dancer, Rainbea Kanyon.

How do you begin the Beguine?  

Our host, a barefoot Amazon with a wild halo of blonde frizzy hair, wore a simple muslin chemise over an incredible muscular and toned body. As floods of people arrived and checked coats, we were told: no talking, remove our shoes, hydrate continually and commence dancing. C’est fini.

On the dance floor…

May I have this Dance?

Start dancing? In a bizarre turn of events, the men gravitated to one side – women on another. The music was a mélange– Keith Jarrett segued into the Rolling Stones, Satie, and Sinatra, blended into Techno followed by a slice of Lawrence Welk then hip-hop. Chubby Checker’s “Let’s Twist Again”  lit up the room everyone went wild and laughed. Michael Jackson hits then  Joan Jett & The Black Hearts sang “I Love Rock & Roll” followed by “Spirit In The Sky” – Norman Greenbaum. There was never a moment of silence. Nor could you anticipate the eclectic music.

And the fans go wild

The music changed and became more drum oriented, the men naturally started in what looked like war dances, rain dances, conga lines, stomping, doing a kind of Samoan chest thumping, with big, bold gestures.


As music became more animated – loud drums pulsing and hypnotic- first two- then 10 men began crawling- on- their -bellies- like reptillies – two men shoulder to shoulder, forming a snake were slithering around the dance floor. Laughing….We women were amused and confused. How did this cadre of men – total strangers – end up bonding and slithering?

Girls just want to have fun

Women wafted, soft-shoed, floated, were jazzy, sexy and did salsa, hula and rhumba; we did a whole lot of swaying, shimmy and shimmer. Men jumped, stomped, pranced, and war danced, several tried break dancing.                    

Dancing fools~~~~

The men were stealing the show.     

The music changed, again, and the men were high energy, brio, bravado, and gusto.  As a rule, the women were tripping the light fantastic, doing a bit of ballet, belly dancing, jete, some threw in a little yoga, a dash of Pilates, even some Jazzercise reared its ugly head. Rainbeau encouraged, inspired, motivated, and vitalized the group.

Everyone appeared to be having fun – the men, on the other side, appeared to be having way more fun. Rainbea told us to form a   a circle and we danced, lugging,smiling, flirting and everyone dissolved into couples…

Men and women on the dance floor of life – so much more fun heart -to -heart and holding hands.

What is the Secret to happiness? Low Expectations?


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Humorist Dave Barry said:

“What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.

What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

 

The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of adventure. Next!

Love, Page

Hey Page,

Two weeks ago, I met a man on line. His photos were all taken from a distance. He says he is divorced and 49. I’m 44. After a bunch of e-mails, he said, “Let’s get together for coffee,” but he couldn’t meet me if it was raining.  Huh? Everything seemed normal up until that comment. Who doesn’t go out in the rain?                      Wondering in Washington

Hey Wondering in Washington,

Not a hair-brained question. The song: “Raindrops keep dropping on my Toupee comes to mind. A so-called Fair weather friend ~ from Date #1  may be a waste of time. Next!   Love, Page

Hey, Page,

What’s the best book I can buy to understand what men are thinking. I used to know the dating game – now, I am totally confused.

Beginners Luck in Burlingame

Hey, Beginners Luck,

…good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tips

The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You.

Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book. This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read. Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tip

Love, Page

hat and glases1

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

All reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

Going out on a ReDate?

The ReDate…also referred to as a Déjà vu date is a new dating phenomenon             and everyone is doing it.

Well, not everybody – however, a casual poll conducted this week indicates 85% of those queried would seriously consider   ReDating  a person they once dated…
Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and a ‘second chance at love’.

Webster might define a ReDate as “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach, disappear, and slip away. There are a million stories in the dated city.   The concept of a ReDate introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were to rash, at first blush. If at first you don’t succeed, ReDate.

George  has been called a ‘Perpetual Bachelor’ and a bon vivant… His iMac, Little Black Book and Rolodex are filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.  He has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.  He said, “ReDating is like a romantic breakthrough where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to connect, again. ReDate.”

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of pictures and profiles on the Online Dating Sites is like a stroll through a never-ending buffet line ~ too much fluff – a whole lotta jello, empty carbs and empty suits, loads of sweets with not enough content, depth or reality.    The problem: there is such a wide assortment, it stultifies.

Both men and women get overwhelmed, minds get muddled, hearts go thump in the night. Right? Mistakes are made ~ and we all think about the one who got away.

The answer: ReDate. Give it a try, again.

You MAE go WEST, young man


The Best: Mae West Quotes

Mae West was witty, ribald, risque and naughty. She was also very smart.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

  • A hard man is good to find.
  • A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.



A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
 kiss

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

  • He who hesitates… is a damned fool.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.




Unfurl

Men are like fine wine

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This was sent to Page Larkin

by Evelyn J.  age 88

A Real Man

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

Bronze buddah in the parkHe will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be her most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible self.

Hearts on a line

No, wait!  I’m sorry…I’m thinking of wine.

Never mind.

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Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent

offers a Three-hour Dating Mojo workshop every month.

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

 Saturdays  TBA 10 AM to 1 PM

 

  • Cost: $49
  • Limit: eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (Additional  Information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com *photo_11785_20090615peacock*******//******

Here are 5 Easy Ways to get  ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’ and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking text/emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF)
  3. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The recent foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.  Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel: Suddenly Single Date World
  4. Volunteer Check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations- St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion..
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is delicious.

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes
FACT: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed:

Men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons. Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

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Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,

Sing as if no one is listening, 

Love as if you have never been hurt, 

and Dance as if no one is watching”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sad man

 A fear of dating?

Now is the Time to curb your “Fear of Dating”

What are you afraid of, Binkie?

So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box, Right off the shelf, and new to the dating game?

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester. Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:

The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone

2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten

3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage

4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking

5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex

6. Gynophobia – fear of women

7. Hominophobia -fear of men

8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed

9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons

10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night.

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:

“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Smart Women – Dumb Choices?


Best ADVICE:  Hide your IQ  and 
Show your bra strap…

Hey, smarty pants!

The University of Chicago describes itself  as The place fun came to die.”

September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice.  My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you.  In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”

The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her.  Enrapt.

“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”

Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”

“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”

Lingering in Lingerie

The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused. Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.

Do smart women intimidate men?

There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.

And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.

The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.

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“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;  

all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority

belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, 

and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.”

Virginia Woolf

 

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

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Got a Fear of Dating – please curb your sexophobia

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Fresh out-of-the-box.  Right off the shelf.  Right off  the boat. Dating neophytes

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the Dating Game. For some, getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade or two ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed. And,  the game is faster and the ‘uniforms’ are a lot shorter. The days of yore-  courting and being coy – are as out dated as hot pants and polyester.

Are you afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations.

There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things).

For your information:

The Top 10 Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – fear of women
7. Hominophobia – fear of men
8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night/

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself –

nameless, unreasoning, unjustified,

terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Twenty 17 – Happy New Year – Here we go!

Expect Fireworks

Expect Fireworks

Love,  hope, and optimism – in 2017 – Are you resolved?

New Resolutions are a good thing and January is the best time for making new friends, dates, and acquaintances.

Get in the game, kid!  You’re not get meet anyone sitting on the couch.

Get up. Get out and get the New Year on.

Carbon Dating- Speed Dating- Blind Dating

Twenty 17: Try a new online dating site( Tinder, Bumble,  Bustle- hustle?)  Join a walking, running, hiking, biking  group or take up badminton, Pilates, ping-pong, spelunking or even skydiving.

Remember, “NEW”  is good.

In January, gyms are rabid  about enrollment and have super-special-offers and promotions. Shop for a great deal and read the fine print.  See Meetup.com and Urban Diversion for a huge repertory of  very diverse, fun events, groups, and venues.

12976723_938278239620573_3130681427071263250_oOver-achieving Not Required – 

It’s not necessary to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  In Twenty 17 resolve to meet new people and get in the dating game.   It will be a lot easier if you push away from the mouse in your house, cut back on texting,  unplug you ear phones and engage.

Talk to people. Smile. Look people  in the eye. Flirt, already.

In Twenty 17.  Resolve: to join in the human race, at your own pace.  Its a brand New Year – full of possibilities. 

Here’s a novel idea: converse with people rather than texting, “friend-ing” or merely emailing.

How many people – men and women- do you say ‘hey’ to everyday? Starting today: multiply that number by 2. Double dare you.

dice-161376__180Save the art of conversation!

“A conversation goes sometimes into personal things and that’s nicer. You look to each other and you have a different picture, you get into a relationship.” Max. Schnell

A new calendar year means all those little white squares are opportunities for fun and new beginnings. Join me, and the legions who believe 2017  is going to be a  New Year with promise and potential.

Transamerica Building View

Attitude of Gratitude, I’ve got it.

  A special note of gratitude to all of you who have been so supportive with entertaining notes, quips, emails, poignant secrets and hot tips this past year.

Wishes for a Happy, Happy, New Year!

Cheers!

Cheers!

Brave enough? Meeting the Fokkers on Thanksgiving?


 Turkey:  Rhymes with Dysfunction

Do you dare bring a date home for Thanksgiving – to meet the family?

Imagine the smell of the turkey roasting in the oven and the sight of luscious pumpkin pies and plump mincemeat pies sitting on the buffet. Cubes of yellow butter melting on mounds of steaming mashed potatoes. The dining room aglow with orange votive candles and a massive centerpiece of fall colored chrysanthemums gracing the table.

Dishes piled with green beans and sweet carrot soufflé, bowls of ruby red cranberries, and pomegranates and tangerines all crowded on the kitchen counter. A veritable food festival with friends and family –and, some ‘Strangers in the night.

bad photos12

Monica in Sacramento writes last year she was graced with, “A cast of cousins straight out of Central Casting, Seven Dwarves style: Grumpy, Dopey, Snarky, Chatty, Smokey, Sneezey, and Boozy.”

George in San Jose  revealed he is ‘blessed’ with an Aunt Can’t Edit, who blurts unseemly comments and slightly embarrasses the entire family in one fell swooping comment.

Okay, kids, so Thanksgiving will never be a Norman Rockwell painting. Granted, for many of us it will be more like “The Scream” Each year we are fortunate to gather, gobble and go. Count your blessings. Bring your current sweetheart home to meet the family? Tomes have been written about courage and bravery – you decide: will this exposure to your kin  be a coup de grace or a potential triumph? Good luck.

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The family… a strange little band of characters trudging through life… inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

Oh, Happy Day
Last year, six of us volunteered at three different soup kitchens and were turned away. There were too many volunteers. That’s what I’m talking about.

The Mad Dash of the Holidays is Here:
I refuse to count the daze. This year I’m going to float down the stream of Christmas consciousness and revel in friends, fun, simplicity and sanity. All aboard.


The Day after Thanksgiving and all through the house
,

not a creature was shopping- all were watching football, talking, laughing, reading, washing dishes – a meditation- walking, riding bikes, going to see Harry Potter, or RED– and avoiding getting mauled at any mall. Double  dare you to Buy Nothing

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.


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