Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “online dating men”

Two kinds of men online? Are you a wolf or a puppy?

Online dating-  there are two kinds of guy.

The first guy is of the candy store mentality: Booya! Life is a buffet. Let me put you in my little black book – I’ll call ya! We’ll call him Phil Anderer.

Then there is the more patient, sincere guy – more of a one relationship at a time – sweet and attentive; women call him Prince Charming.

Or: One Date at a Timephoto_1021_20060206

Eventually, Roger- the 62 year old, suddenly-single dating neophyte – was dating.

Sally was a “perfect match’ and he was enjoying her company and concerts, exploring San Francisco and the comfortable companionship.

His buddy, Big Daddy ( aka Mike B from law school days) invited him to join a Marin men’s group. It was an intense knot of over-achievers, trust fund boys, and a few strikingly handsome metro-sexuals (who would later espouse the need for facials, eyebrow-shaping, and a wardrobe of eyeglasses) who talked about their feelings and treating women-all women (wives, lovers, trysts,) with respect.

Big Daddy- a self-appointed coach- took Roger by the hand and ‘guided’ him. He readily shared his well-honed philosophy on life, love, ladies, community, and the “basic human need for a variety of sexual partners.”

He reminded his conservative pal, that after 30 years with the same woman, it was time to make up for lost time. Life was a buffet – he encouraged his Roger to dive in. Big Daddy would show him the way.

Although very enamored with Sally, whom he had been happily dating for weeks – he was taken with the idea of a lazy Susan of sexual partners.

Meanwhile, back at The Commune

Big Daddy’s unusual living arrangement had Roger imagining a Bob, Ted, Carol, and Alice scenario: Bed hopping, one-night stands and casual trysts.  Roger thought it sounded delicious. They did a walk-through of the property. Roger was impressed by the organic vegetable garden, the meditation rooms, the vast hot tub, fire pits near the  deck, a sauna for 10, and a  remarkable, sunken living room with wall-to-wall mattresses. Big Daddy called it the “Party Room.” There were solar panels on every building and lots of hugs and kisses as Roger met “The Crew.” Everyone hugged and kissed. Nice.

Like a Black Lab, panting with excitement, Roger wanted to know where to sign up.

And so it began…

Being an ethical man – in all fairness, Roger felt like he had to share his new lifestyle opportunity with Sally.

In a perfect world, she would be part of his harem.

He would break the news that night after dinner.

Gator20081017Sally called it  

The Last Supper and Bon Voyage, Loser!

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The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dates on Match.com

Dilapidated windowAlexa and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Dates

One Woman’s Story- Online Dating Disappoints: We are not a match!

Alexa is 57, divorced, RN, lives in South San Francisco, has a kid in college, is a mild hiker and musical theater devotee. She decided to throw her hat in the ring and sign up with Match.com

Day #1

The dating company sent the first “Batches o’ Perfect Matches.”

  • The first picture was of a guy on a big red tractor in a field. She had nothing in common with him.
  • The second was a photo of man kissing his cat. She loathed cats and worried about a guy posting a photo like that.
  • The third picture was three balding men all standing together a bar. They all looked alike. Who was the candidate?
  • Finally, there was a smattering headshots of men wearing all hiding behind sunglasses and baseball hats.

The last picture she could stand looking at that day was Clive from Palo Alto wearing a lampshade. And the message was: “I am dying to talk to you on the telephone. Please call immediately.” Bizarre.

Just as she was ready to ‘throw in the towel… she received an email from Match.com: Roberto wanted to “Connect.”

The barrage of disappointing matches was followed by this email from Spooky Roberto. (unedited)

Der Sir or Madam.

Pardon to cut you unaware. I had to do this because i m desperate to connect with you and i was thinking if this was right? let me be the criminal of desperation in the court of love… lol….i’m very  fun to be around with… Perhaps that you will have to find out, if you give me the privilege to know you?. I think the this idea is creative lol.

 My name is Terry and i m using colleague profile. 55 years of age, widower, 5.11ft tall, cute, with good sense of humor. Age is a number.

 I live in California, I m not a registered member yet and this not my account and photos. It’s for an old colleague of mine in a conference whom wanted to show me around online dating. I got attracted to your write up, and i think we have some things in common to share  Feel free to contact me to contact me on my email and i will tell you more about me and send you my current pictures.  robertoterry04 @ g m a i l.c o m    looking forward to hear.

 Sent From My iPhone

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Alexa was going to re-think Match.com…it wasn’t looking good.

It could only get better, maybe.

Beware The Scams and Dead Ends

Beware the ides of Match.com: Bait and Switch trick

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Sorry, sweetheart, Cupid doesn’t work at Match.com. There’s no plump, little angel reviewing your sweet, heart felt profile – Thinking “Oh! I have the perfect date for you!”

I’ve Got Rhythm – You’ve Got Algorithms  or  The bots and bon mots

I once met a civil, electrical engineer, who explained the concept that a Web crawler is an Internet bot that systematically browses algorithms and marketing ploys on sites like Match.  The bots are busy sending you, dear dater,  bits of fluff.

You know those, “Who Likes You?” notices indicating that Barbie from Brisbane, Sherrie from Sacramento, Pattie from Ramona “Likes you?”

Nine times out of 10, you will click on their profile only to find out – sit down for this – that person doesn’t exist. Yes, it is true. However, the dating company has six other people (from Alaska, Arizona and Alabama) you just might find attractive. In the business, this is called “date switch” you and I call it, Bait and Switch.

Everyone knows, the stickier  the website, the more hits, the more gullible, the more enticed one becomes. The name of the Match game is to get you onto the site as many times as possible, each day. It’s all about volume- it’s all about you being interested and hooked.

 How do you spell bologna?

 Match.com: Your Daily Matches are chosen through Synapse – our “super-intelligent matching technology” We integrate your personality, peccadillos, preferences and on-site actions, along with behavior predictions to continuously improve your matches.

SF–Gal–Haute complains that every day, Match sends her notices that three to four men “Like her.” She says, if you click the link, Oh! What a surprise! They’re not around anymore. However, there are six new guys (from Alaska, Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona) she might like instead. Can you say “Bait and Switch?”

If you’re fishing for a new love- you might want to catch and release Match.com and try another algorithm.

Wait a minute. Who owns Match.com? That’s right: IAC.

They own OKCupid, Tinder, How about we, Chemistry.com, Meetic, OurTime.com, SpeedDate.com and Twoo.

What say you? Monopoly or monotony?

In 2013, Singles looking for Partners /consumers paid $2.2 billion worldwide to find a mate, a date, a partner according IBIS World.

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