Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “Online Dating Etiquette Tips”

Men online: don’t ask these crass questions

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So I walked into the Members Cocktail Party at the MOMA

A man approaches me and says, “Hey. I’m 6’ tall, 185 pounds, spiritual not religious, income: I’ll tell you later. I like NASCAR, a cigar, hot dogs and pizza and boxing. I’ve seen American Sniper three times and I think Lady Gaga is a freak and Kimmel – they guy the Oscars- is a whack job. Can I  buy you a drink? And what are you tipping the scales at, Tiny?

Next!

I climb the stairs to the American Pop Collection  and another man sidles up  and says, “I’m average height, average build, love to snuggle and to shop at Victoria’s Secret.” (What? A cross-dresser?) He continues, “I live in Santa Rosa and I won’t drive more than 10 miles to meet the woman of my dreams -who, by the way, is ‘Barbie.’ How old are you?”

Buh-Bye!

Some fancy dance work and a quick escape right, to the Interactive Architecture and another man advances and says, “Hello, beautiful! Let’s skip the small talk: I’m Scorpio, very lonely, never married, no kids, live alone; I have a very, very, big, bike. Can I take you for a ride? I dig the White Housee Twins: Sean and Steve” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” is on my bedside table. Want to read it together? What’s your income?”

Hasta la vista, baby!

Deftly, I exit down the hall, a quick left turn to see the Diane Arbus. Luckily, I happened upon ‘Mr. Santa Clara.’ He is my height, my age, big smile and twinkling eyes – introduces himself and says his interested in talking and eliminating the mindless chatter about astrology and pets – if that was okay. And then he said, “Your picture doesn’t do you justice.” (A.k.a. The six sexiest words on Match.com)

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He proceeded to ask me questions about me and my life and he listened.

We talked and walked right into the American Pop  and later found ourselves in front of  a Warhol and a Lichtenstein.  We continued – walked, talked and ended up standing in front of the spectacular new Liz Fracchia painting.

The museum was about to close…and the party was not over.

We have been together every day since.

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What’s your story? Tell me your dating story: page.larkin@gmail.com

How Rude! Page Larkin’s Easy Dating Etiquette Tips

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Heard horror stories about rude online dating behavior?


 Page Larkin’s  Top 5 Online Dating Etiquette Tips:

1.) Respond, sil vous plait or You talkin to me?

The biggest complaint heard from online daters is about the lack of response. Hey kids, here’s the rule: if somebody takes the time to drop you a polite note of interest – you have a responsibility to answer back.
(Note: If the message is wacky, bizarre or peculiar- or the person sending it appears to be all of the above, you need not reply- simply delete and move on.)
However, new dater, if you receive an email from someone – okay, maybe not your ideal mate – maybe not even close – but he or she took the time to write you a note. Your job? Write back. Not a tome – not a poem – a simple message along the lines of, “Thanks, we are not a match – good luck in your pursuits.”  That’s all. Simple and sweet.

2.) Can You Please Say Thank You?
The men have spoken and complain loudly some women barely utter a “thanks” after a date. Hello, ladies? Are you Ms Manners or missed manners?

3.) Hit-and-Run
Knowing full well that online dating is truly a numbers game, (See Catch and Release in the Coy pond) there are some who send out a dozen “winks” every day. What is a wink? A wink is the lowest form of online social connection. It requires little time or effort.  It involves the wannabe dater to click a tiny icon, which sends a message to the recipient, indicating absolutely no effort made. How popular is a wink? Many online dating profiles start with, “No winks, please.” Translated: “Come on, and make the effort to write at least one cogent sentence.”

4.) Talk, Talk, Talk
Okay, so you are fascinating and you don’t mind telling everyone. One of the biggest buzz kills on a first date? The non-stop talker. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to be chatty. It’s a mortal sin to blather on and neglect asking questions. Save the monologue for a Stand-Up routine.

5.) The Houdini Disappearing Act
So you‘ve exchanged a half dozen emails – share many of the same “likes”, seem to have a little chemistry- and boom! They are gone.

Not a word: text-email-nada. What’s up with that? Are they players? Fakes? Voyeurs? Or just plain rude? If, at any juncture, the chemistry isn’t there – politely bow out of the conversation with a well meaning, “Thanks for the conversation, enjoyed it and wish you all the best.” Yes, that’s a lot better than nothing.

Can’t we all just get along? Be nice. According to Greater Good in Berkeley – being kind –(polite) – will make you happy.

Be polite; write diplomatically; even in a declaration of war one observes the rules of politenessOtto Von Bismarck

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