Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “mid life dating”

Eharmony: like the Titanic or a kayak?

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes

EHarmony: Is it like the Titanic or a kayak?

Veronica jumped on the EHarmony boat expecting a Crystal Cruise experience, replete with fascinating men, sparkling conversations, interesting destinations and a whole lot of fun.

She navigated through the rough waters of the horribly long application of questions, quizzes, and essays. Two hours later, she was ready to sail into the sunset with one of the 15,000 people who fill out the infamous questionnaire every day.

After she paid the boarding fee of  $60 – a slow dribble of so-called ‘matches’ appeared in her mailbox. Like a kid on Christmas morning, she metaphorically ripped off the trappings of trivia: she scanned photos, checked for geographic closeness, education, marital status and interests. That first morning she came up with lumps of coal.

She knew what’s she liked…

She felt a man who paraded  his ‘career and Harvard Law’ in the first sentence smacked of insecurity. She preferred a man with some religion-no Bible thumping; no Tea Party boys need apply. She was not interested in any Newts; Jerry Springer or Howard Stern types. The only Mitts she liked were worn by the SF Giants.

The guy who threw caution to the wind and wrote lurid poetry proved Sartre was right, “Hell is other people.”

Although she was ready to jump ship, Veronica decided to give EHarmony one month of her time. Dreams of ping-pong, shuffleboard, mai tais at sunset, walking hand-in-hand pervaded.  She was not one to participate in Wet T-shirt or belly-flop pool contests and waterslide races.

Patiently, she watched as, day by day, EH sent one or two of the so-called perfect matches. Seriously?  By the end of the experience she decided to leave the singles cruise on EHarmony – go ashore – stay there and happily sail away – and maybe rent a kayak.

Here are a smattering of alternative online dating sites:

Oh, ye of a little faith: (for Jewish singles), (for those dedicated to Christianity), (for no particular denomination).

Mid-life Sites – 50 and up:,,

Tawdry and tacky:,,

The Quirky niche:, (“Date me. Date my pet”), (connecting Ayn Rand fans),, (matches people who look alike).


Top 10 list: You are in love when

The Top 10 Classic Clues: You know you  are in love when the Joy of Sex replaces the Joy of Cooking

You are so ‘in love’ when:

1. You’ve become bilingual in the language of love – lots of “sweetheart, babe, and darling” punctuate your sentences now.

2. It takes you 10 minutes to dress for work – and two hours to bathe and then put together the right shoes, outfit, accessories, scent, and fix your hair and prepare for a date with your paramour.

3. You scour The Pink Section  for local jazz and entertainment venues- looking for hot events.

4. The Joy of Cooking has been replaced with The Joy of Sex as your reference manual.

5. You seek out that perfect bottle of wine for a perfect evening. Frequently.

6.  You smile way more than is humanly necessary – you just can’t help it.

7. Andrea Bocelli love songs – make you swoon – especially “Besame Mucho.”

8.. You linger in the lingerie department – your imagination running a marathon of mischief. Fresh flowers, candles, and table settings have resurrected to a new level of appreciation in your world.

9. Your friends and coworkers comment that you’re constantly “in a good mood.”

10.You memorize the Robert Burns famed romantic poem, “A Red, Red, Rose”

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”Robert Frost

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