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Top 10 reasons he is going to ask you out again

First and Foremost

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Top Ten Reasons Date #2 is a given…

1. You look exactly like your photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice.”

2. You offered to pay half – you are obviously thoughtful and evolved.

3. You laughed – with each other – a lot. Comfort level established.

4. You both had one drink – hey, first date.

5. They are as tall or taller than you (this may/may not matter)

6.You felt comfortable and at ease with each other

7. You have things in common: similar taste in sports, books, food, movies, dogs, skydiving, etc

8 You both have had ‘challenges’ in life and survived nicely.

9. You each have an “amusing” Internet dating story. And can laugh about it.

10 You both had fun and were relaxed and are looking forward to the next date.

“Women desire men’s desire of them” Freud

San Francisco Date Night – Bridge and Tunnelers

guys i datesd
They’re Coming!

Over the bridges and through the tunnels…

They come, seduced by the Siren’s song of concerts, bright lights, the ice rink in Union Square, comedy clubs, theater, and a galaxy of two and three star restaurants. They leave the predictability and the vast free parking lots of the suburbs and head for the bright lights and sophistication of the City.

Uniformly Unique

She is brushed, buffed and shiny. Women of an age wear the classic Eileen Fisher uniform. Big price tag, clean lines, sensual fabrics; add the requisite, chunky, expensive necklace. It’s the au courant uniform of choice. A designer handbag, the size of a small suitcase, is the result of a ubiquitous knock-off purse party or the real deal. He wears the guy’s uniform: a Tommy Bahamas shirt, Tony Soprano – like slacks and Italian tasseled-loafers. Swathed in layers of wool coats, scarves, and gloves, they brace themselves.

There goes the neighborhood

The $6 Golden Gate Bridge / $5 Bay Bridge entrance fee to the City is only the beginning (ka-ching! sound of cash register ringing). Parking meters ($.25 buys two minutes) inhale quarters. Parking lots ($16 for three hours) and free valet parking ($20 service charge) are deemed highway robbery. So they pull their lips over their teeth with that faux grin and start counting. Is it worth it?

Who knew the hot, haute, hot new restaurant was in the unpredictable Tenderloin? And, the theater, too? They had to wade through a battalion of beggars. They were perplexed and chagrined to see doorways filled with men, in sleeping bags, asleep on piles of cardboard.

At Cafe de la Depressing, the lentil soup was $9. When did entrees skyrocket to $30? A trendy Thai (Got cha now?) restaurant charges $8 for a cup of imported red rice. Pricey rice? In Rice a Roni land? One drink at the hotel lobby bar was $16. Theater tickets? Priceless, because they refuse to admit what they paid for them. It was a play about a goat.

Home again, home again

The Bridge and Tunnelers are torn. Can they admit a trip to San Francisco was tedious, depressing and exorbitant? They found the restaurants too rich for their blood. The streets were dirty and a small army of homeless was sleeping in doorways. Parking was a nightmare and getting out of the jam-packed garage felt like Sisyphus – going nowhere fast.

As they pulled into their own garages, the Over the Bridge through the Tunnelers are relieved and relaxed to be home and they wonder: what ever to happened to San Francisco?

San Francisco Dating@50Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com .

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Dating at 50 – Book of the Month selection- quick step to love

Moon.. spoon …June

Instant gratification and romance in 90 days? Yes!

On your mark, get your calendar out, get set for your autumn romance.

The best selling book, “Love in 90 Days,says 13 lucky weeks is all you need to meet the man of your dreams.

The much talked about, how- to- book, continues to fly off the shelves of bookstores …and a copy seems to be on the coffee tables and reference material for many of my friends.

Author Dr.Diana Kirschner, a true calendar girl, urges you to block out the next 90 days to successfully find your soul mate and true North. Her book is filled with myriad goal setting exercises, affirmations, techniques and tips for women to attract their heart mate.

Are you a Studfinder?

The author gives a whole new meaning to a ‘stud finder’ as she advises looking for “Studs” (seriously terrifically utterly desirable dudes) and avoiding ‘Duds’ (definitely unworkable dudes).

Since Adam and Eve and that pesky snake,  there have been romantic and seductive schemes, plots and plans levied by both sexes. It has to be challenging to come up with new ideas. Enter Dr Diane. Some may take special umbrage at a few of the exercises, like the novel suggestion to date three different men at one time.

Three men at once?  Seriously? I call this a ‘manage a trois.’    Managing to date three men, concurrently, sounds vaguely like juggling babies: you must be very discreet, delicate and focused. Then you say, “What was I thinking?”

Advice: Take it all with a grain of salt…and a shot to Tequila?

Be forewarned: this compendium of counseling has more buzzwords than a month of Dr Phil shows. However, Dr. Diana is no Dr. Phil, thank heaven she is not another Dr. Laura.

Kirshner is a lot more fun, creative and  “Love in 90 Days” is replete with pages of heart-filled ideas and exercises. Hey, you’ve got 90 days – go for it!

“Women desire men’s desire of them.” Freud


Top Ten Romantic Places to Kiss in San Francisco

The Top 10 Romantic Places

in San Francisco

Everyone knows the San Francisco is the consummate romantic Mecca and there are dozens of romantic places to buss/smooch/osculate and kiss

The Top 10? After much research ~ I can heartily attest:

1. The Top of the Stairs at Broadway and Lyon – the view, alone, will take your breath away. It’s a secret place, off the beaten track and and it inspires romance.

2. Under the Clock of the Ferry Building

The Golden Ghetto ~ on Saturday mornings ~ the sight of the famous Farmer’s Market. See the aubergine and tangerine, enjoy quaffing champagne, or sample at the Caviar Bar, select divine picnic items, revel in the sweet smells of butter, sugar and cinnamon wafting from the numerous bakeries, indulge in a Blue Bottle coffee…enjoy the towers of stunningly beautiful fresh flowers, and gaze at the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses…walk along the water …Everything is pretty darn seductive and suggestive. Can you say: An Affair to Remember?

3. The corner booth at The Grand Café (Geary and Taylor) It’s all about location, location, location. Sexy, seductive, alluring and private. Ambiance. Fabulous hors d’ oeuvres and great mixologists.images

4. The Make Out Room named appropriately, you don’t need another clue. Stimulating venues.

5. The Tonga Room At the Fairmont ~Nob Hill. Yum~ Drinks with tiny umbrellas – tropical atmosphere and It’s like the Tiki Room without the birds~ Nowhere else in San Francisco can you kiss in the rain forest.

6. Sweet – As you leave divine and sublime XOX truffles in North Beach- with a small box of San Francisco’s real “treat” ~The quality and richness of the 27 unforgettable tiny chocolate kisses – and yummy flavors are sure to entice~

7. Palace of Fine Arts San Francisco’s most majestic and remarkable shrine…originally created for the 1915 World’s Fair by the incredible visionary Bernard Maybeck …near the columns, under the statues of weeping women, at the lagoon or undulating grassy area.

8. Golden Gate Bridge, anytime of the day ~ must be midspan…even with the infamous summer fog and wind whipping about – The GGB is one of the City’s most romantic and frantic destinations.

9. The Pier – Crissy Field, the only pier pressure, you will find us from your gull-friends swooping overhead. 360 degree views …Crashing waves, frothy white caps, sometimes blue skies and a breathtaking skyline.

10. The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park the spun sugar palace, replica of Kew Gardens, is all good things: sultry- sexy and steamy. Bonus ~Beautiful flowers in abundance. A Must: Buss behind the begonias…

So, get on the buss~ Everyday is Valentine’s day in Romantic San Francisco~~~

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination.”      Albert Einstein

Can we talk? Girls just want to have a chat…

 It’s a fact: women tend to be more glib and voluble.

Girls just want to have dialogue

For the time it takes to push your cart through the checkout at the grocery store, two women can share a succinct, lifetime of information.

A simple, “Love those shoes,” can launch a conversation covering shopping, kids, schools, sales, babysitters, therapists, recipes, divorce attorneys, events, and books. All this before checkout.

Dr Tom Lewis, the darling of San Francisco’s famed Fromm Institute, lecturer and co-author of the book, A General Theory of Love, said findings indicate women say 1000 more words, every day, than their male counterparts. We can talk about this, if you like.

The San Francisco 3-D Club

It started with three newly divorced women who were 50-ish, avid movie buffs who had coffee and dialogue once a week.  Over the next few years, their numbers increased and a monthly dinner meeting replaced the coffee date. When the group hit 20 members – the membership doors closed. Though many knocked, wanted to join and would “pay anything to join” the eclectic, energetic group said,  “No more girls allowed.”

Each quasi-clandestine meeting has an emcee, a film reviewer and a “Top 3-D List” compiled by the host. The “Top 3-D List” is made up of three things that are divine, decadent or benevolent. In addition to being film junkies, the group has altruistic bent and has quietly supported St. Anthony’s, OneBrick, Community Thrift and the Casa de las Madres, the Pachamama Alliance, and the Avon Breast Cancer walk.

While there are no dues and no don’ts, the group has a philosophy steering clear of the negative and emphasizing the positive. They are positively social and the Club has an unspoken, “Girlfriend, have I got a guy for you” component where sometimes members introduce their male friends and colleagues to other members.

As a result, some wedding bells have pealed and repealed.

Members who have re-married have their own private club- couples only.

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours
”    Swedish Proverb

How Rude! Top 5 Dirty Dating Deeds

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Whoa – there are way  too many  horror stories about rude online dating behavior.

Need to brush up on your etiquette?


 Page Larkin’s Five Online Dating Etiquette Tips:

1.) Respond, sil vous plait or, You talkin to me?

The biggest complaint heard from online daters is about the lack of response. Hey kids, here’s the rule: if somebody takes the time to drop you a polite note of interest – you have a responsibility to answer back.
(Note: If the message is wacky, bizarre or peculiar- or the person sending it appears to be all of the above, you need not reply- simply delete and move on.)
However, new dater, if you receive an email from someone – okay, maybe not your ideal mate – maybe not even close – but he or she took the time to write you a note. Your job? Write back. Not a tome – not a poem – a simple message along the lines of, “Thanks, we are not a match – good luck in your pursuits.”  That’s all. Simple and sweet.

2.) BehaveCan You Please Say Thank You?
The men have spoken and complain loudly some women barely utter a “thanks” after a date. Hello, ladies? Are you Ms Manners or missed manners?

3.) Hit-and-Run
Knowing full well that online dating is truly a numbers game, (See Catch and Release in the Coy pond) there are some who send out a dozen “winks” every day.

What is a wink? A wink is the lowest form of online social connection. It requires little time or effort.  It involves the wannabe dater to click a tiny icon, which sends a message to the recipient, indicating absolutely no effort made. How popular is a wink? Many online dating profiles start with, “No winks, please.” Translated: “Come on, and make the effort to write at least one cogent sentence.”

4.) Talk, Talk, Talk
Okay, so you are fascinating and you don’t mind telling everyone. One of the biggest buzz kills on a first date? The non-stop talker. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to be chatty. It’s a mortal sin to blather on and neglect asking questions. Save the monologue for a Stand-Up routine.

5.) The Houdini Disappearing Act
So you‘ve exchanged a half-dozen emails – share many of the same “likes”, seem to have a little chemistry- and boom! They are gone. Not a word: text-email-nada. What’s up with that? Did their spouse find them playing on the computer – with you?

Are they players? Fakes? Voyeurs? Or just plain rude? If, at any juncture, the chemistry isn’t there – politely bow out of the conversation with a well meaning, “Thanks for the conversation, enjoyed it and wish you all the best.”

Yes, that’s a lot better than nothing.

Can’t we all just get along?

Be nice. According to Greater Good in Berkeley – being kind –(polite) – will make you happy.

Be polite; write diplomatically; even in a declaration of war one observes the rules of politenessOtto Von Bismarck

 

sad man

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Table for Two, or too many? Monogamy or monotony?


When we left her, our heroine, Kelly, had just ditched Mr. Polyamorous and was moving on.

   The Date Watchers were discussing cheating, sharing and polyamory. They concluded they were all much more Pollyanna than Polyamory.

What happened to Pollyanna?

A week after checking the “opt out” box with Mr. Ménage a Many, Kelly was on the elevator at the 450 Sutter Medical Building  and ran into an old (50-something) college friend, a dentist, widowed a year before, and a ballroom dance aficionado. From the 24th floor to the lobby they chatted, laughed and agreed to go dancing and now, they are making beautiful music together. It happens.

Mad About You…and You… and You

Kelly, 55, (the ink on the divorce papers was barely dry) had to chime in with her tale of “whoa.” She recently signed up on two online dating sites. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, she said she been blissfully dating – multiple men. She was like a kid in a candy store. She bragged she was making up for lost time.

The other women listened as Kelly regaled them with her tales from the crib. Thirty dates in thirty days sounded impressive and exhausting. Would a diabetic coma follow her sweet overload?

Two of the women agreed they experienced that same the same post-divorce-euphoria, to a lesser degree. The consensus was that hyper-active, Kelly should slow down and smell the flowers, instead of mowing them down. She was the classic too much, too soon, too fast, fey divorcee.

Kelly said she was upfront with each of the three men she was dating. The first guy said, “Hasta la vista, baby,” and walked out;  Number Two wanted to woo Kelly and was willing to stay in the game; Number Three said “…give me a call when you’re done experimenting.”

Can You Spell STD?

The wine continued to flow as did the opinions. Yes, of course, all agreed life is short, however they also encouraged Kelly to slow down, take precautions, get tested, and focus on quality, not quantity.

Marlene, the wise said, “Kelly, sweetie, you’ve got ADD. You have all the classic symptoms of Affection Deficit Disorder. It’s been a long time since you have had any action; all of this serial dating is just frothy, light and fun. Get it out of your system and then get real.”

The women raised their glasses in unison and said,“Here’s to those who love us, and here’s to those who don’t, a smile for those who are willing to, and a tear for those who won’t.”

Kelly, of the ‘get in the last word’ countered with,

Remember what Mae West said,” Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

Cheers.

Pink Martinis and the Hollywood Bowl – the best date ever

Once upon a time: a tale of two cities and the perfect date with music and martinis

He told her to be his house in San Francisco at 7:00 a.m. with running shoes and to be prepared for a surprise involving an airplane jaunt, a saber tooth tiger and a pink martini- and to bring a dress for dinner and a show.

The first surprise was when Super Shuttle arrived at 7:30 a.m. and whisked them away to SFO. She happily agreed to be open to a day of surprises. He called it their ‘Cinderella day.’ He alluded to a full 12 hours of fun and new adventures.
Timing is Everything

Jan and Mike met on JDate three months earlier and clicked instantly. Ironically, both were ‘lapsed Lutherans’ who were “looking for love in all the wrong places” until they each enrolled on JDate. Both struck out on Eharmony and decided to try a new tribe. Serendipitously, on the very same day, they decided to check out the new dating site, they met on line.

They shared a passion for Zydeco music, Greece, photography and every book written by Pat Conroy. If nothing else, JDate is the master marketing machine for dating and connecting. The two admit to wading through a few so-called “perfect matches” then, bingo, they connected and clicked. Three months and many dates later, they were blissfully flying to Los Angeles together.

He got ridiculously cheap airline tickets to LA and arranged to have his brother, Gary, the out of work actor, to pick them up and play chauffeur and tour guide. She packed her camera, an arsenal of Trader Joe’s snacks, and bejeweled ballet slippers and a crinkly, little black dress that folded up to the size of a CD.

The piece d résistance, Mike revealed he had won two tickets to Pink Martini at the Hollywood Bowl. Earlier that summer, while at the Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, he won a drawing for two free tickets to the concert and Backstage passes from KOBI TV in Medford. Life is good.

Get Me to the Getty on Time

First stop: the Getty Museum for the highly touted ‘Engaged Observers: Documentary Photography since the Sixties’ exhibit. They spent a quick two hours at the vast museum, and had to tear themselves away from the impressive photography.

Gary, never met an audience he didn’t like, was delighted to play chauffeur for his brother and date. Their next surprise stop was the famed La Brea Tar Pits. When she was 12, Jan’s family had explored the magic kingdom, Disneyland and the dreary Tar Pits. Jan was amazed by the new  museum, the excellent displays and the wall of hundreds of saber tooth tiger skulls.

Gary took them to his favorite hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant in Hollywood where they feasted and changed into dress clothes and excitedly drove to the famous and awesome Hollywood Bowl. Gary said he knew some people at the Bowl, would park the car, hike back and see if he could score SRO ticket.

As Smooth as a Pink Martini

Jan, a very big big fan of Pink Martini, had always loved “Sunday Table” a romantic song written by China Forbes and Thomas Lauderdale about that moment where you pass a stranger on the street have a split second love affair. Bonus, that night the “special guests” were Rufus Wainwright, Jane Powell, Air Shapiro and  the original cast of Sesame Street.

The concert was beyond their expectations. Jan and Mike loved every moment and every song. After the  best concert ever, they were like kids going backstage to mingle and ogle. Jan was thrilled to talk to handsome and debonair, Emilio Delgado – Luis from Sesame Street. Her college-aged daughters would swoon over the photo of her and their all-time, very favorite Sesame Street denizen. All too soon, Gary whisked the two back to the airport and before they knew it, Jan and Mike were on Super Shuttle and back in the City. Jan told Mike she did feel like Cinderella and he really was a prince and charming.


Tell me about your perfect date.
San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin
, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

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