Suddenly Single… Minded

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Red flags or green lights? First date guidelines


Page Larkin’s Top Five Things to Take on a First Date:

  1. Identification

  2. Cell phone

  3. Money for a taxi

  5. The speed-dial phone number of your “Contact’ person” – the friend who knows exactly where you are going – with whom (Name, Rank, Serial Number) and, at what time…

Get Smart: Trust your gut

Always trust your intuition. There are certain logical guidelines for an initial meeting. You know when something is not right. Don’t bring or wear valuables. It’s a coffee date – not show and tell. (Leave the bling and the credit cards at home.)

If you are feeling strangely uncomfortable with the person –not just nervous- excuse yourself and call it quits – gently.

It happens. If you feel compelled to provide an explanation, say you have to make a phone call, have to move your car, or meet a friend or get to work.

The Great Escape- Deal-breakers

Men and women both need ‘A Great Escape’ in a truly uncomfortable situation.  Let’s say you meet your ‘Perfect Date’ and you notice the ‘Non-smoker’ reeks of smoke and has cigarettes peeking out of their pocket. Time to go? Deal breaker?

Or their rude or quirky behavior freaks you out – that simple. You are uncomfortable and something is so strange you have a visceral reaction.

Pay attention to red flags.

Deal breaker?

What if the online dating profile photograph is of a petite brunette and the heavyset, much older person sitting across the table has mostly gray hair?  Evidently, the photograph supplied is over 10 years old. Do you call them Integrity issues or Deal breakers?

Or perhaps, within minutes, your note your date’s behavior (Top Ten Way to Ruin a First Date)   is reprehensible. (You expected George Clooney and quirky George Costanza shows up.)

Trust your instinct

Rather than just saying ‘Get Lost,’ the polite thing to do is: thank the person you’ve met, excuse yourself, leave money for your half of the bill, and walk away. Call your ‘contact person’ and update them.

Seriously: Police suggest having a good clean escape plan: tell at least one person where you’re going- whom you are meeting, at what time. You might suggest that person call you after a pre determined time to check in on you. No, this is not silly.

First Date Tips:
1. Always meet in a public, well-lighted place. Never meet in your home.
2. Let a friend know where you’re going; also give the other persons name. No, you can’t be too careful.
3. Have the friend call you 15 minutes into the date. This can also be an ‘escape’ if the date if isn’t going well.

4. Meeting for a glass of wine? One should be your limit. No, I am not kidding. Be sober and smart.

5. Always:  ‘Google’ the guy or gal. Check them out  on Facebook and Linkedn.

Note: Click here: Washington D.C.’s police department recommends the following tips.

That being said, get out there and explore your options.

Have fun. Chances are: all is well – Just be careful out there.solo_bench     

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