You arrive – butterflies in tow- excited and curious to meet Danville Don Juan. The two of you have emailed a few times and spoke on the phone. You both heartily agree texting is for sissies and a dead end form of initial communication.
There is consensus to meet in a clean, well-lighted place. Starbucks lacks imagination and serves a purpose.
Are we there yet?
He suggests going to Happy Hour at the Saloon. You suggest coffee at Cafe Trieste. He nixes that and offers to buy your ticket to the Tom Cruise blockbuster replete with robots, guns, and stupendous special effects. You suggest walking in Golden Gate Park – end up at the Cliff House. Nah, truth be told, he is not much of a walker, how about a drink?
You begin to see the multitude of huge red flags flapping – danger, darling, dead end ahead. He likes happy hour, you prefer coffee houses – you like the great outdoors
And he isn’t that great – outdoors. You have less in common than you thought.
Cut bait and call it off:
Now is the time to say, “It looks like we are not a match. It was nice meeting you, good luck and good bye.”
Lesson learned: Calm down, ask lots of questions on those first few phone calls to see if you really have anything in common.
Simply living in the same town is not enough. Dead end first dates are a waste – on so many levels – avoid at all costs.