Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “dating”

How to: the first date – call the whole thing off?


The First Date: Dreamy or a Nightmare?

You arrive – butterflies in tow- excited and curious to meet Danville Don Juan. The two of you have emailed a few times and spoke on the phone. You both heartily agree texting is for sissies and a dead end form of initial communication.

There is consensus to meet in a clean, well-lighted place. Starbucks lacks imagination and serves a purpose.

Are we there yet?

He suggests going to Happy Hour at the Saloon. You suggest coffee at Cafe Trieste. He nixes that and offers to buy your ticket to the Tom Cruise blockbuster replete with robots, guns, and stupendous special effects. You suggest walking in Golden Gate Park – end up at the Cliff House. Nah, truth be told, he is not much of a walker, how about a drink?

dead-end-777__180You begin to see the multitude of huge red flags flapping – danger, darling, dead end ahead. He likes happy hour, you prefer coffee houses – you like the great outdoors
And he isn’t that great – outdoors. You have less in common than you thought.

Cut bait and call it off:

Now is the time to say, “It looks like we are not a match. It was nice meeting you, good luck and good bye.”

Lesson learned: Calm down, ask lots of questions on those first few phone calls to see if you really have anything in common.

Simply living in the same town is not enough. Dead end first dates are a waste – on so many levels – avoid at all costs.



Top 12 mistakes and goofs on your dating profile

sad manFirst impressions can only be made once.  Be careful what you write.

The Top 12 heinous headlines: don’t post these on your dating profile

  1. The last book I read was the Da Vinci Code
  2. I love brushing my dog’s teeth
  3. I’m on a diet and trying to lose weight, really
  4. I’m 60 and a stud. I only date women who are 30 to 40
  5. I’m into booty calls – how about you?
  6. I’m a little ADHD, semi-unemployed, with a very good personality
  7. My daughter made me write this
  8. If you can guess my weight, I will go out with you
  9. I only date men who make more money than my last husband
  10. Want to be my sugar daddy?
  11.  Hey! I just want to go out to dinner once a month
  12. I’m really shy. Please contact me. I’m a loner. A little Agoraphobic

All of the above qualify as buzz-kills –dullsville and boring. Three tips for a Better profile

  • Take the time to write succinct 50-word essay citing some of your interests. Avoid writing “a laundry list of likes.” As a rule quirky and kinky are not cute. Really.
  • Get Real: Remember, when writing a dating profile – sarcasm and innuendo don’t always translate.  What you may consider to be clever and pithy may come across as caustic or corny.
  • Update and improve your profile every month.  Posting the same online dating profile for more than two months is a dead end.  Update and change it up a bit. Dating in 2014 is dynamic. you should be, too. Comment on a concert, a movie or a restaurant you recently tried. First impressions happen only once.

Shoot me an email and tell what works for you.

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.      Dalai Lama

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Top 10 Worst First Date Ideas

Everyone has a “The all time worst first date story.” 

Perhaps your egregious first date story doesn’t rival the movie, “Carrie” however, there are some nightmare first date stories.

A flurry of emails from readers and a random poll with the Date Watchers and the Yoga Babes – indicates women know exactly what they don’t want to do on a first date.

Any of these Top 10 Worst First Date Ideas are guaranteed to spoil the day:

  1. Play Paint Ball way too Deer Hunter for most women
  2. Karaoke-not an intoxicating way to spend time- no matter how well you warble.
  3. SpelunkingExploring Caves – an acquired taste –most are too dark, too dull and too much for a first date. Think: picnic instead.
  4. Throwing Pots? Ceramic-making at a cutesy place for kids called something like “Fire Me Up.”
  5. Go-Cart Riding  Driving to the Peninsula is enough for one day – why ruin it with more road rage?
  6. Kite Surfing or Paddle boarding – fall under the too much, too soon, too cold. Who wants to wear a wet suit on the first date?
  7. Pole Dancing Lessons- some people lap it up – others wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot…too much, too soon, too fast.
  8. See the Pyramids? She thought he meant Cairo, Egypt- he meant an Amway meeting.
  9. Swimming in the San Francisco Bay – you maybe a member of the famed Dolphin Club  or a Tri-Athlete- save the show-off until after the first date.
  10. Naked Workshops – Sure, developing rapport, closeness, and intimacy are all goals of a long-term relationship. Forays into the world of ‘clothing optional’ or getting HAI on the first date- not so much.


Dating can be a nightmare – or a dream

Relax, have fun and take the time to get to know your date. The first real date should evolve slowly.

The goal is to enjoy yourself in low-key, fun, maybe even unique situation. Now, get out there and play.

“Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. Dave Barry


San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin- reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved

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