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Playing with a full deck of Flirting cards?

Are you playing with a full deck ?

New flirting cards flying across tables everywhere.


Burt T. was sipping a latte at Cafe Trieste in North Beach, finishing the New York Times crossword puzzle, when it happened.

The cute, brunette from across the room, walked up to his table and handed him a card. She smiled, turned, and walked out of the bustling café.

The glossy black card said, “Notification of Attraction: I find you attractive” He turned the card over and found a phone number scribbled in pink ink and the following, “In order to speed things up, I decided to Flirt Wildly with this card. I will be here tomorrow at 10 am – be here- or call me- if you desire further contact. I’m feeling lucky – here is my phone number. Member of the Flirt Wildly Committee.”

Flirt Wildly with a Card?

Once upon a time, the most generic way to flirt with another person involved one of the following: a wink, a smile, or a verbal greeting consisting of (choose one) A) Hey. B) Is this seat taken? C) How are you? D) Haven’t I seen you here before?  E) What are you reading?  F) I’d like to get to know you.    Yes, they were tried and true – a little predictable and effective.

Flirting 101 is as simple and easy as a smile, an attentive gaze, a gentle touch. It’s subtle and says, “I find you attractive.” Usually props are not required. Both men and women have been known to drop their business card off to a potential date with a quick, “I hope you’ll call me.” Yes, visions of George Clooney in “Up in the Air” do come to mind.

Step Two Flirting for women involves playing with a strand of hair, licking of lips, smiling, leaning in to a conversation and talking, laughing, and lots of eye contact. No cards required. Just a stream of verbs and nouns linked together. Since Eve, this technique has proved to be very powerful.

Flirting Cards – by any other name – have been around for years.

Some love them and others call it the “chicken” way out.  Burt T. says he sees women in San Francisco ‘dealing cards’ – handing out cards to attractive people – and it looks promising. Plus!  He has a date with a cute brunette.

Get in the Game:

If you have had too much ‘Old Maid’ or ‘Solitaire’, amp up the flirting and get back in the game. Cards Optional. Your deal.

 

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Top 10 Places to Meet Women in San Francisco

photo_1875_20060814Where do you meet women in San Francisco?

Here are The Top 10 Places to Meet Women…

1. Say “Yes, yes, yes!” to any World Series, March Madness Events, Golf Tournaments party, Wine Tastings event, gathering celebration. 

2. Trader Joe’s,  Sunday from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m… (and Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday) Cue: ask a question – have you tried this cheese? wine? do you know how to pick out great apples? Smile at her.

3. Lectures: At the Herbst Theatre, JCC, USF, the Commonwealth Club, Litquake in October, Film festivals, World Affairs Council, etc.

4. SF JAZZ: Music, Restaurant, Bar – Get it?  So obvious – it speaks volumes.

5. Yoga classes: Hold on-Hands down, this has to be the best place to meet women, odds are generally 10 women to 1 guy… and women have a soft spot in their hearts (or soles ) for a guy who happens to wander into a yoga class. Do a little research and find beginner classes and start there. You will  thank me.

6. Bookstores: Hey, it’s where we hang out. Note: 67% of all books are sold to Single Women. You do the math.  We like to talk. Ask a question: “Is this author any good?”  or”Do you like ____?”  Remember: It all begins with a word…and a smile. 

7. Cupcake Shops: Okay, sweetie, so we indulge. Sit down, have a cup of coffee and engage.  Best question to ask? Try  “Which is your favorite?” or   “I want to buy my mom (sister, landlady, buddy)  a treat- what you suggest?”

8. Peet’s: women of a certain age preferred Peet’s over Starbucks and eschew Formica tabletops

9. Wine Shops: (Beltrammos, BevMo, Wine Impressions, etc ) Aren’t we all looking for the same thing? A decent Pinot noir and a bon soir? Women flock to Wine tastings…

10. On the Street:   In the elevator, walking into the store, in the well lit, safe, busy, parking lot, on the 38 Geary, after the movie,  at Ocean Beach, at the Sports Basement,  at church,  at dim sum, at Cafe Trieste, sampling at See’s,    wandering the aisles of Safeway, the farmers market, at Best Buy or the DMV …at the library….At any of the 3 the Andy Goldsworthy secret spots…in the waiting room…

Every single day – there are multiple opportunities to say: Hi, Hey, hello…

and the best line ever: Don’t I know you? ” (Yes, Really – the best line ever scripted)

 Guys, here’s a little secret... you might be happy with Sunday/Monday Night football, March Madness,  Golf, Nascar, and the myriad sport shows that are on every day on every channel… However,  girls, not so much.

After the World Series: Push away from the TV and go outside.

Now, get out there and play!



All the Single Girls on Valentines Day






All the single girls!

On Valentine’s Day, all the single girls celebrate life, wear red, send Valentines cards and wishes to pals, friends, beaus, wanna be beaus, and embrace all that is well in their world.

Jennifer broke up with Michael on February 10th. Her roommate said, “Oh, no! Now you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day!”

Jennifer replied, “I would rather spend the day alone than spend one more minute with that jerk. He was the most immature, self-centered, handsome, rich, loser I’ve ever dated. I am totally ready to meet somebody new!”

When asked what she was doing on February 14,Georgia replied she was going to her favorite yoga class,  then going out for Chai and Chat with a bunch of her friends from class. She was happy.

Lynne has very hot, red boots that she dons every “Feb 1-4.”And she wears a short black skirt over silky red blouse, just because. She loves chocolate, flowers, Valentines, and shares all of the above with friends and close office mates. She organizes the “Feb 1-4 Cocktails” after-work gathering every year. Everyone must wear red.

Kimi, on the other hand,single again and perpetually on the prowl, professes Happy Hour on Valentine’s Day is the best day to score free kisses. Unfortunately, years ago, she was cute and boys liked her…divorces and time can take a toll. A 20- something asking for a kiss versus a 40-something asking for a kiss is light-years apart. Cougar is a good descriptor. Poor Kimi.

Gayle (39 again)opines that all the good ones are taken and there are no good men.Frankly, she’d rather binge on The Last Kingdom on Netflix with her two good friends: Ben and Jerry.

Anne met Ted in an elevatorand they chatted for 50 floors and spontaneously agreed to have a drink. They clicked. She loved the whole, tall, dark, handsome thing with the great suit that he had going on. Bonus: no wedding ring. He found her very alluring and available. Well into their third drink, he admitted that he had a wife at home. Things were not that great. Their marriage was rocky. He said he was unhappy.

She backed off prontito.

As he walked her to her car, they held hands, he kissed her good night. Several times. She couldn’t help herself: she was smitten. Devil may care.

The story goes-he called her two weeks later-they met for drinks on Nob Hill just to talk. One thing led to another and they have had infrequent trysts for two years. She waits for his calls.

Anne’s new therapist told her she was wasting time and sexy energy on a dead-end-dude. All the time she was waiting by the phone, she could be madly in love / lust with a single, available man with no strings and a lot of integrity. It was a lightbulb moment. Anne’s friend had criticized her and advised her. It all fell on deaf ears. That one appointment was a turning point. Anne dropped Ted like a ton of bricks.

Yes, she admitted to being depressed, alone and lonely. She also felt ready to think about The Real Thing. And was open to meeting her Dream Guy.

Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

No L-o-v-e? Facebook says Christmas is break up time

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Tis the season to be jolly  HOWEVER, According to Facebook, 

it’s the War of the Roses time and breaking up is de rigueur.

Research done by the elves at Facebook reveals that Christmastime can be called ‘Merry EX-miss.’

So, are you: Single and Afraid of Another Silent Night?

Finding yourself Suddenly Single can make the Christmas holiday a totally new, sometimes unsettling experience. These can be the times that try men’s and women’s souls, stamina, and spirit. 

Business Insider reveals that David McCandless did the due diligence on ‘Yuletide dating and breaking up’ by examining trends on Facebook. Research indicates breaking up at the holiday season is a so-called tradition.

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Blue Christmas, indeed. And, you don’t even want to know about Mondays.  Is there really such a thing as Empirical evidence from Facebook? Who says if it’s from Facebook, it’s got to be true?


If your December dilemma

Once you were  half-of-a-couple, now you find yourself flying solo – what do you do? Get off the couch, push away from the computer and go out and play. Wear red. Listen to Christmas carols. Invest in mistletoe and wear a sprig on your lapel or on your hat.  

Scour the San Francisco Chronicle for events, read Marin’s Pacific Sun  for fun events; read Johnny Fun Cheap.

 Say ‘yes’ to every invitation to go out; go dancing; see the beautiful decorations on Union Square; master the art of making latkes; learn the words to ‘Mele Kalikimaka‘; throw a Christmas party – at home, with friends, in a small café or a pub.

cupidGot Dates?

A passel of people (see movie: Love Actually) who find themselves in the dreaded  ‘kiss-free mistletoe zone’  actively seek out sweethearts for the season. These pro-active romantics re-up on Match.com, Craigslist, Eharmony, or Plenty of Fish.

valentine-1213612__180Follow suit: they smile and say, “Merry Christmas” to everyone – especially at Trader Joe’s, Bryan’s, Safeway and default to jolly and bright.

Some say ‘Lose the Santa hat‘ and lead with a hearty “Merry Christmas.”

(Don’t waste one minute debating the PC-ness of wishing everybody a “MC”)

And, don’t let a Facebook statistic get in the way of having a holly-jolly holiday.

Your mother was right: Go outside and play!

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Merry Merry

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of adventure. Next!

Love, Page

Hey Page,

Two weeks ago, I met a man on line. His photos were all taken from a distance. He says he is divorced and 49. I’m 44. After a bunch of e-mails, he said, “Let’s get together for coffee,” but he couldn’t meet me if it was raining.  Huh? Everything seemed normal up until that comment. Who doesn’t go out in the rain?                      Wondering in Washington

Hey Wondering in Washington,

Not a hair-brained question. The song: “Raindrops keep dropping on my Toupee comes to mind. A so-called Fair weather friend ~ from Date #1  may be a waste of time. Next!   Love, Page

Hey, Page,

What’s the best book I can buy to understand what men are thinking. I used to know the dating game – now, I am totally confused.

Beginners Luck in Burlingame

Hey, Beginners Luck,

…good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tips

The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You.

Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book. This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read. Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tip

Love, Page

hat and glases1

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

All reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the program, Binkie



Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Calvin buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “Favorite Cute Customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Barista Kelly wrote her phone number on the sleeve of “his” coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

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Pat M. in Concord is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Frank X. buys bags of Hershey Kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Patsy S in the Medford  writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time.

Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

George, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to George. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Henry, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Lynne R, the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

LOVE 27
Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere.

Not Just for Christmas

Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin post.

Happy New YEAR!

Aging with grace and aplomb…and AARP!

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You barely blow out the candles on your 50th birthday cake

and AARP is in the mail

and on the attack…

alarm clock

The times they are a changin’

 

The Man of your Dreams used to quote

Rolling Stone Magazine

and Esquire…

and, then Vanity Fair  

and The New Yorker

and now!

He is quoting from  AARP magazine…

                                                                            Say, it isn’t so.

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“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.

At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” 

Ann Landers (1918-2002)

 

 

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Graceful

Such a thing as a Perfect First Date? Yeah, baby.

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What does a Perfect Date look like?

Here’s a report from Janice of Diamond Heights: San Francisco-Clement Street-Late afternoon

They agreed to meet at the Spruce Goose on Clement Street. He arrived a few minutes early to score a table, and stood when she approached the table. He said, “Janice? Your photograph doesn’t do you justice. I’m William. ” They shake hands. Warmly. (She blushes and thinks, “Big points.”)

After they were seated and settled, he turns off his cell phone with flourish and says with a smile, “I’m all yours.” Next, he says, “May I get you coffee, tea, something? Would you share a chocolate chip cookie with me? I think they’re the best in the City.” She is impressed and happy.

Over Coffee

In conversation, he asked her where she grew up, where she went to school, and various polite questions about her job and family. He listened to her answers. (Huge points – and, she had pretty much stopped counting.)

After 30 minutes of easy conversation, he said, “I’m really enjoying myself. You are unique and lovely. I want to spend time with you. Do you have time for a walk, and/or would you like to get together again?”

At this point, she reports she was so dazzled by William, she didn’t want the date to end. However, she had a meeting with a new client and suggested they meet at Crissy Field  for a walk – later that week.

The Second Date 

Janice reports she and William met for The Second Date; they walked, talked and laughed- for four hours- kissed and have been “an item” for two years.

That’s what one Perfect First Date (and Second Date) looks like.

Note: The Yoga Babes and The lively Date Watchers think William is a Shooting Star in

the Dating Stratosphere.decoration-21871__180

How to quit that Dating Site?

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Thanks to Lisa in Livermore:

“Back away from the mouse…

That was the clever way my therapist told me I wasted too much time pursuing and perusing men on the Internet.
She said the two hours I spent, every day, scouring on-line dating sites could be better spent. And if I removed all the karmic energy I was wasting on not loving myself first, the right man would follow.

And so it goes…

I felt like a reformed alcoholic emptying bottles of booze, one after another, as I clicked away and quit the three Internet dating sites I had subscribed to for six months.

Goodbye to Ivy.com guaranteed to meet a fellow Ivy Leaguer. My ill-fated claim to fame – I didn’t meet one man from Penn State, but did meet one from ( wait for it ) the state pen.

I said ov vey, good-bye and mazel tov to my stable of dead-end flirtations at JDate, the Jewish dating service.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Finally, I disassociated myself with my very favorite site “DatesRus.com”
I’d met Paul, Nick, John, Mike 1 and Mike 2 and Chuck on DatesRus.  It had been a veritable gold mine for first dates…a few second dates… and buckets of  first kisses.

However, after the first dates – it was generally a dead end. I’d gotten really good at first dates. I’d honed the necessary skills to appear fascinated and had developed great eye contact.

My friends tease me that I had perfected the affected Nancy Regan stare.

Now, I won’t admit to being addicted to the chase, the flirting,  the bon mots flying, however…I will admit I spent a lot of time looking…and then, looking again.

I sounded like Chauncey Gardener. Bad sign.

And, wouldn’t you know it?

Three weeks after Dating De-Tox and pushing away from the gilded mouse / trap…  I met Tim at the Safeway in Livermore.

Turns out, we both like Ben and Jerry ice cream and we  bumped into one another at the freezer section.  There is no California law against lightly bumping into a man’s grocery cart. The irony being that my first really hot date started at the coolest place.  Avoid the Mouse Trap – get out and flirt like a Chunky Monkey.

In Love, Lisa”

“One should want only one thing

and want it constantly.”    

Andre Gide

Get off the couch and get back in the – social – saddle

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Here are Five Easy Ways
to get ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’  …and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone.   There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude.  You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is…
  3. Be Brave   So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the Dating Saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2014 foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.   Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel Date World 2014
  4. Volunteer – check out The Sausalito Art Festival LaborDay Weekend for a very fun time – and check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations: St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion.
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20. Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter,  sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car. Come on in, the water is delicious.

 

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Note: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed: men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons: Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,   Sing as if no one is listening,    Love as if you have never been hurt, and Dance as if no one is watching”

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