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Archive for the tag “dating over 50+ advice”

Dating at 50 – more fun than dating at 20

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News: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20

Think about it: you’re a lot more interesting, smarter, and sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

You’re Not Alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. It’s boring playing Solitaire and time to play a rousing romantic game of Hearts. Let’s play!  Where to begin?

Here are two very comfortable ways to get social and get off the couch and out of the house.

1.Talk to Strangers. Your mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you smile and say “hey” to five strangers every single day. Try this new mantra on for size: Flirt, flirt, and flirt again.  Start with a smile. Would it kill you to say hello? Try it,

2. Go Outside and Play. You know the adage: life is short? Why waste time? No more perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” Get off the couch, push away from Facebook, “The Bachelor” and “Dancing with Stars.”  Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, Ping-Pong, or spelunking club. Take up the ukulele, swing dancing, or wine tasting.

See Meetup.com for dozens of social groups in your city.

Go out. Venture out. Find a friend, make a friend, be a friend… and explore where the action is in the City and across the bridges.

Best Advice: Get in the game, get active, and enjoy the new adventures in Dating World 2013.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enoughMae West

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Best advice for online dating: Keep it simple, sweetie

KISS: Your Dating Profile

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your very first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, avoid TMI (too much information.)

  Leave something up to the reader’s imagination.

Coy and cute is far superior to a barrage of cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. Okay, so you are proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, philately or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore. The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over feather duster may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, and clubs? Slow down and wait on that. Finally, thinking about blasting or attacking your evil Ex?  Fuggedaboutit. No one wants to hear about your divorce – or your colonoscopy. Seriously.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing. Review the profiles of people your own age.  Check out the competition. Some dating profiles will inspire, others will bore, and some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparative shopping,’ and it works.

So, bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted

 

Summer Reading: Marry whom? Him? Why not Settle?

Settle down.

The red-hot book,

Marry Him, The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

has been flying out of bookstores since it was published – causing a stir and consternation.

Author Lori Gottlieb is a controversial marketing genius.        

First, there was the well-timed flurry of Valentine’s Day book promotions, appearances on myriad television talk shows, guest column slots, and a drag- out marketing campaign, which catapulted the author into the SEO stratosphere.

Called “wise and daring” and “brutally honest,” Marry Him is a surefire bestseller because of the controversy it leaves in its wake. It all started in February 2008, when Gottlieb wrote ‘the article’ for The Atlantic.

The scathing piece, the basis for the book, was considered by many as caustic, heartless and derisive. Nothing like an effective literary attention getting device to garner great ratings.

Best Marketing Ploy for Book Sales: Controversy. Granted, women have strong and heartfelt beliefs about:

1) Marriage

2) Marrying beneath oneself (what does that  even mean?) and

3) Perhaps – choosing to remain single.

The topics are very personal and scalding hot. Does Marry Him instruct us to discard our standards, ideals, and our precious Top 10 Qualities List?

Do we merely ‘settle’ for the next guy, with a pulse, who darkens our doorstep?  I think not. But, men and women need to be open –  way open – 24 -hours a day open.

photo_7840_20081106(1)love small

I Could Have Been a Contender

Bo Derek was a “10″ in the 1970′s…  Perhaps you were, too… in the 70′s.

You do the math- numbers change…bodies change and attitudes do, too. Now we are more mature, evolved, and we evaluate people less superficially- don’t we? No, Binkie, you cannot know in the first  3-minutes of a coffee date if the guy is “a keeper,” slow down and smell the coffee.

Gottlieb makes a sobering point in the  magazine article about women and all the various “dating things” we do wrong.

Many of us were raised on stories about Cinderella, Prince Charming, Wolf Ranges, white picket fences and Volvos. Some of us bought into the fairy tale and elevated ourselves high atop lofty (lonely)  princess pedestals.

Sky high, self esteem puts one just beyond the reach of really great guys. Whoops! Time to climb down, sister,  Get real, and be open.

Marry Him is smart summer reading. You want to get attention on the beach or by the pool? Walk around with this  book – see what happens.

You’ll see: the book is rife with very cogent points; chances are you’ll open your eyes, blink, and shake your head in disbelief. And, in total agreement.

All I know: Life is all about compromise, and at this stage of the game (50-something) we know that compromise is the panacea of life.

The best relationships are all about give and take. Right?

Remember: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. And he knows it.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/03/marry-him/6651/happy woman

Top 10 list: You are in love when

The Top 10 Classic Clues: You know you  are in love when the Joy of Sex replaces the Joy of Cooking


You are so ‘in love’ when:

1. You’ve become bilingual in the language of love – lots of “sweetheart, babe, and darling” punctuate your sentences now.

2. It takes you 10 minutes to dress for work – and two hours to bathe and then put together the right shoes, outfit, accessories, scent, and fix your hair and prepare for a date with your paramour.

3. You scour The Pink Section  for local jazz and entertainment venues- looking for hot events.

4. The Joy of Cooking has been replaced with The Joy of Sex as your reference manual.

5. You seek out that perfect bottle of wine for a perfect evening. Frequently.

6.  You smile way more than is humanly necessary – you just can’t help it.



7. Andrea Bocelli love songs – make you swoon – especially “Besame Mucho.”

8.. You linger in the lingerie department – your imagination running a marathon of mischief. Fresh flowers, candles, and table settings have resurrected to a new level of appreciation in your world.

9. Your friends and coworkers comment that you’re constantly “in a good mood.”

10.You memorize the Robert Burns famed romantic poem, “A Red, Red, Rose”


“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”Robert Frost

Page Larkin

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Buyer Beware: Kooks on Craigslist

 theme park sideshowIt’s  too early  for April Fools gags – however, look at these random Craigslist postings.

Buyer beware.

Granted, times are tough and the tough-to-take seem to be hanging around the Craigslist water-cooler.

Here is a random sampling from recent San Francisco ‘Men Looking for Women’ age 50- 60 category.

  •         Nice looking guy in search of a lady with a pool in the San Rafael area for the summer. Get back to me.
  •         I am married, in an open relationship, due to lack of interest…Is this you, also?
  •         I love dogs, cats, and horses, and  critters; like garage sales, flea markets, collect neat old stuff. Interested?
  •        My last girl friends were great, but apart from sex, we had nothing in common.
  •         I live on Social Security and that’s it. I’m not rich, I just want someone cool and lady like.
  •          Almost 5’9′, 210 pounds with wavy hair would like to find a very petite or slim (or at least HWP) ordinary housewife, or working mother, who wonders how it would feel to be with a strange man just once.
  •         Need a girlfriend and you need a boyfriend. I’m attached, but have plenty of free time.
  •         Semi-perfect sensualist wants to play Adam & Eve with a thorny thinker.
  •        I’m 70. Want to be the granddaughter I never had? Let’s go out to dinner and on little shopping trips. Come to my place and watch movies or study for school. I used to teach college.
  •          Currently attached WM (5’4″, 160, nice looking) wants to meet a married or single woman.
A warning sign for the public

Fact: “Attached men” are the epitome of a dead end. Avoid at all costs.

Fact: Goofy Grandpa claims to have taught college (U. of Hard Knocks?) and is strange, kooky and spooky. How is it, an overweight guy (admittedly a strange man)  is seeking a petite, ordinary housewife? What is an ordinary housewife? Aren’t all housewives extraordinary?

On the Other Side of the Ledger

Men who write Craigslist posts like the following must be besieged with emails responses:

  • Want to make some music together? I live on a steady diet of foreign films; I like to cook on week ends and skate in Golden Gate Park. Earl Thomas  at Biscuits and Blues is high on my list of great blues and fun things to do every month. I also like John Coltrane. And dark chocolate.
  • Me? Sensitive, romantic, well spoken. I have great table manners and I like to go out on the town. Prefer quiet old-school restaurants that are not too noisy. My friends say I am a great cook.. I love to dance and take walks on any beach, anytime.In the Sierras, I will  jump into mountain lakes. What about you?

It is better to err on the side of caution than to be cavalier.

So: Caveat Emptor: use caution, use the delete button, seek out “good guys” and check out other authentic dating sites.
images mayhem-tile-gps

“The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and must therefore be treated with great caution.”  J.K. Rowling

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

 

‘Updated’ Shortest Fairy Tale – new and improved

It went viral – The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale - was all over the Internet.

Bitter or Better?


Let’s do a ‘ONCE over’

imagesOnce upon a time”… a man asked a woman,   to marry him.  The woman said, ‘ No’ ...and for a while  she lived pretty -happily -ever -after…

She went shopping, hiking, went to movies and volunteered at Casa de los Madres and Onebrick…she danced, frequented museums, book readings, drank really great wine, always had a clean house, did yoga three times a week;  cooked quinoa, tofu, brownies and  triple chocolate chip cookies when she felt like it; she did whatever she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many friends, compatriots, pals,  buddies  …

She entertained, went to lectures, bowled, she played and prayed – as needed.  She never watched sports ( except the SF Giants, the World Series, the Super Bowl and Wimbledon)  She never wore itchy cheap lingerie; had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled…she looked fabulous in
sweat pants,  designer  jeans and a Little Black Dress  and  was pleasant all the time. images

Yawn: all that got old.

She learned that she was missing an important component…she craved and pined for someone  to partner with, establish  a connection – a union – a much more than mere friendship person.

She wanted to hold hands with, to wake -up -with-in-the morning, to kiss good night and wish ‘sweet dreams’ to every night for the rest of her life. images

She wanted a Prince of man ~  a perfect partner-in-crime, and play, in plans, to grow old with … And she opened her heart and her eyes and developed a more worldly view.  She was always one to share and play well with others…

When, lo and behold: she met a friend. A boy-friend – and they clicked- they were a Match, they had Chemistry and Harmony… they got along and enjoyed each other’s company. Friends for Life. They planned, played, and lived happily ever after.


New to online dating? Sample free sites: Craigslist

Keep It Simple Sweetheart –

Is Craigslist your Cupid?

Craigslist is an easy, first step in online dating. If you have gathered the courage and decided to explore online dating, it’s important to do some cogent research.

Start with Babysteps

Craig’s is user-friendly, accessible, and entertaining. Any good dating coach worth their salt will tell you to take a stroll down the aisles of Craigslist and scrutinize “Men seeking women/ Women seeking men” categories in your age group. Peruse a couple dozen personal ads. Take it all with a grain of salt.

Curious? What caught your eye: a clever headline or  pithy prose?

Maybe it was it the honest, direct and forthright writing style? Keep reading.  Next, take a look at the ads in New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles. Compare and contrast the style and the messages. You’ll notice, immediately, that San Francisco has a distinctive flair and style. Be prepared to encounter some very well-crafted entertaining ads and some less than imaginative (okay, crass) missives.

Free: Everyone’s Favorite Price?

One  reason Craigslist is so popular is the price: free. Do you get what you paid for? Like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, the two other leading free dating sites, the ‘free factor’ does attract an element – you may wish to avoid.

Another reason for Craigslist huge popularity is the big “Anonymous factor”.

The vast majority of posters refrain from posting a photo. And, frankly, one never knows if the information posted is authentic or accurate. There are those who troll and trawl the halls of Craigslist – sending off an inane comment now and  then.

You will quickly learn the phrase “your pic gets mine” is part of the site’s vocabulary and a good modus operandi.

To place a Craigslist ad requires little time and a little imagination. Typical ads on Craigslist are 50 words – or less.  Best advice? Choose your words carefully and take your time. Try it once or twice, or not at all.

Many happy people have connected on Craigslist. Don’t hurry. Exchange the emails, speak on the phone – at length- ask questions and, if there is a comfort level established,  meet for coffee in a very public place.

It’s an experience and remember,  no matter what the price: buyer beware.

“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at PAGE.LARKIN@gmail.com

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- the nefarious Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted with copywritten notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved

Top Ten Dating at 50 Rules

Top Ten Dating Rules for Girls Over 50

 

The Birthday Girls, once the brazen 49-er’s

are turning 50.

The coterie subscribes to the “Life is short, kick up your heels” philosophy. On the precipice of hitting 50 – with gusto - they created their very own ‘Un-bucket list’

Through the decades, the friends have been through the highest highs and the lowest lows. Cherie B, their scribe, writes:  “At times, life was like heaven (weddings, babies, careers, white picket fences, celebrations) and like hell (teenagers, parents dying, and making ex-husbands).”

The 10 women who met as coeds at UCLA have gracefully blossomed into women. At their big 5-0 celebration, they decided to kick up their heels at their favorite restaurant, Aziza and finish the night at Zero-Zero.

Statistics: Some Suddenly Single  – Their Creed

As fate would have it, six of the women are single and blithely swimming in, or hanging around, the dating pool.  After their celebration with champagne and exquisite pink cupcakes, punctuated with storytelling and paroxysms of laughter, the women compiled their own

Top Ten Dating Rules at 50 List

 ‘Life is Short and I Won’t Settle List

1. I won’t sit by the phone or the computer waiting for a man to reach out. I will be proactive and flirt – early and often.

2. I won’t respond to a man who sends me a photo of him hiding and enshrouded in a hat and sunglasses.

3. I won’t be impressed with anyone who sends a canned greeting (Hello Angel, does God know you left heaven?)

4. I won’t meet anyone for a date in a parking lot, a bowling alley, or the Indy 500.

5. I won’t kiss and tell, but I might kiss again. And, again.

6. I won’t hesitate to delete grumps, grouches, less than honest forthright people from my life.

7. I won’t waste time with people who see the glass as chipped, broken or empty.

8. I won’t miss the opportunity for a hug or a kiss. Holding hands is a priority.

9. I won’t wear Crocs, Uggs, Sweats, fanny-packs, Lanz nighties, shoulder pads, granny glasses or acid wash jeans. And, I won’t date a guy with a proclivity for all of the above.

10. I won’t let anyone rain on my parade. Life is a cabaret. I will sing and dance like my hair is on fire.

The robust “49-ers” default to laughing, sharing, and supporting one another.  Thirty years ago they were new at the dating game- and here they go again – back in the dating saddle. Ride on, girls. Happy Birthday.

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” Robert Frost

Men at 50- confused and crazed by women at 50

Inquiring Men Want to Know: This week brings questions from men about serial dating, flirting and frustration. I endeavor to answer the questions as best as I can. Send your questions, queries, and quibbles to 50datesexaminer@gmail.com


Dear Page

My friends say I’m like the guy in the movie Network who screams “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I’m really frustrated. I have been on three different dating sites in three years. No luck. I keep meeting women who send old photos, who lie about their age and smoking and who don’t seem to have an Emotional IQ   Is it me?

Just like Peter Finch

Dear Just Like Peter Finch,

While nobody said it was going to be easy, online dating should be fun, at best. Sorry to hear about your tribulations. Don’t give up.  Be more direct in your profile stating an interest in self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, and the ability to love. Try again.

Peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m 63, retired, divorced, healthy and look and feel the best ever. My new girlfriend is 55 and  hot. There is one drawback: she’s what you call a serial dater. She’s a gal with the ‘kennel of doggie bags in the refrigerator. She goes out almost every night- not with me. She is only free on Wednesday nights. Am I wasting my time?

Berkeley Bob

Dear Berkeley Bob,

If you are “girlfriend” is dating three other men each week, sit down; she’s just not that into you. She is obviously playing the field and, Bob, you’re not on her roster. It’s time to move on, and try greener pastures-you deserve better.

Peace, Page

Hey, Larkin,

I read your piece about ‘Men are like Champagne.’ Well, my experience says women are like eels. You can’t get a handle on them and they get away.

Morgan Hill Mike

Hey, Morgan,

Good point. There are 1 million stories ‘in the dated city’ and just as many metaphors. Following the whole fishing metaphor: I’d say the more lines you put in the water, the better your luck. See: Dating 101: Catch and Release. Have fun out there. Remember, online dating is a number’s game – and you have to get in the game to win.

Peace, Page

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at 50datesexaminer@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click, click, Click the Subscribe button.

All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2011 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

Top Ten Romantic Places to Kiss in San Francisco

The Top 10 Romantic Places

in San Francisco

Everyone knows the San Francisco is the consummate romantic Mecca and there are dozens of romantic places to buss/smooch/osculate and kiss

The Top 10? After much research ~ I can heartily attest:

1. The Top of the Stairs at Broadway and Lyon – the view, alone, will take your breath away. It’s a secret place, off the beaten track and and it inspires romance.

2. Under the Clock of the Ferry Building

The Golden Ghetto ~ on Saturday mornings ~ the sight of the famous Farmer’s Market. See the aubergine and tangerine, enjoy quaffing champagne, or sample at the Caviar Bar, select divine picnic items, revel in the sweet smells of butter, sugar and cinnamon wafting from the numerous bakeries, indulge in a Blue Bottle coffee…enjoy the towers of stunningly beautiful fresh flowers, and gaze at the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses…walk along the water …Everything is pretty darn seductive and suggestive. Can you say: An Affair to Remember?

3. The corner booth at The Grand Café (Geary and Taylor) It’s all about location, location, location. Sexy, seductive, alluring and private. Ambiance. Fabulous hors d’ oeuvres and great mixologists.images

4. The Make Out Room named appropriately, you don’t need another clue. Stimulating venues.

5. The Tonga Room At the Fairmont ~Nob Hill. Yum~ Drinks with tiny umbrellas – tropical atmosphere and It’s like the Tiki Room without the birds~ Nowhere else in San Francisco can you kiss in the rain forest.

6. Sweet – As you leave divine and sublime XOX truffles in North Beach- with a small box of San Francisco’s real “treat” ~The quality and richness of the 27 unforgettable tiny chocolate kisses – and yummy flavors are sure to entice~

7. Palace of Fine Arts San Francisco’s most majestic and remarkable shrine…originally created for the 1915 World’s Fair by the incredible visionary Bernard Maybeck …near the columns, under the statues of weeping women, at the lagoon or undulating grassy area.

8. Golden Gate Bridge, anytime of the day ~ must be midspan…even with the infamous summer fog and wind whipping about – The GGB is one of the City’s most romantic and frantic destinations.

9. The Pier – Crissy Field, the only pier pressure, you will find us from your gull-friends swooping overhead. 360 degree views …Crashing waves, frothy white caps, sometimes blue skies and a breathtaking skyline.

10. The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park the spun sugar palace, replica of Kew Gardens, is all good things: sultry- sexy and steamy. Bonus ~Beautiful flowers in abundance. A Must: Buss behind the begonias…

So, get on the buss~ Everyday is Valentine’s day in Romantic San Francisco~~~

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination.”      Albert Einstein

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