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Archive for the tag “dating over 50+ advice”

Dating at 50 – more fun than dating at 20

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News: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20

Think about it: you’re a lot more interesting, smarter, and sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

You’re Not Alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. It’s boring playing Solitaire and time to play a rousing romantic game of Hearts. Let’s play!  Where to begin?

Here are two very comfortable ways to get social and get off the couch and out of the house.

1.Talk to Strangers. Your mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you smile and say “hey” to five strangers every single day. Try this new mantra on for size: Flirt, flirt, and flirt again.  Start with a smile. Would it kill you to say hello? Try it,

2. Go Outside and Play. You know the adage: life is short? Why waste time? No more perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” Get off the couch, push away from Facebook, “The Bachelor” and “Dancing with Stars.”  Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, Ping-Pong, or spelunking club. Take up the ukulele, swing dancing, or wine tasting.

See Meetup.com for dozens of social groups in your city.

Go out. Venture out. Find a friend, make a friend, be a friend… and explore where the action is in the City and across the bridges.

Best Advice: Get in the game, get active, and enjoy the new adventures in Dating World 2013.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enoughMae West

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Best advice for online dating: Keep it simple, sweetie

Bronze buddah in the parkKISS: Your Dating Profile

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your very first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time,

avoid TMI  (too much information.)

  Leave something up to the reader’s imagination.

Coy and cute is far superior to a barrage of cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. Okay, so you are proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, philately or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore. The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over feather duster may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, and clubs? Slow down and wait on that. Finally, thinking about blasting or attacking your evil Ex?  Fuggedaboutit. No one wants to hear about your divorce – or your colonoscopy. Seriously.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing. Review the profiles of people your own age.  Check out the competition. Some dating profiles will inspire, others will bore, and some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparative shopping,’ and it works.

So, bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted

 

Summer Reading: Marry whom? Him? Why not Settle?

Settle down.

The red-hot book,

Marry Him, The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

has been flying out of bookstores since it was published – causing a stir and consternation.

Author Lori Gottlieb is a controversial marketing genius.        

First, there was the well-timed flurry of Valentine’s Day book promotions, appearances on myriad television talk shows, guest column slots, and a drag- out marketing campaign, which catapulted the author into the SEO stratosphere.

Called “wise and daring” and “brutally honest,” Marry Him is a surefire bestseller because of the controversy it leaves in its wake. It all started in February 2008, when Gottlieb wrote ‘the article’ for The Atlantic.

The scathing piece, the basis for the book, was considered by many as caustic, heartless and derisive. Nothing like an effective literary attention getting device to garner great ratings.

Best Marketing Ploy for Book Sales: Controversy. Granted, women have strong and heartfelt beliefs about:

1) Marriage

2) Marrying beneath oneself (what does that  even mean?) and

3) Perhaps – choosing to remain single.

The topics are very personal and scalding hot. Does Marry Him instruct us to discard our standards, ideals, and our precious Top 10 Qualities List?

Do we merely ‘settle’ for the next guy, with a pulse, who darkens our doorstep?  I think not. But, men and women need to be open –  way open – 24 -hours a day open.

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I Could Have Been a Contender

Bo Derek was a “10” in the 1970’s…  Perhaps you were, too… in the 70’s.

You do the math– numbers change…bodies change and attitudes do, too. Now we are more mature, evolved, and we evaluate people less superficially- don’t we? No, Binkie, you cannot know in the first  3-minutes of a coffee date if the guy is “a keeper,” slow down and smell the coffee.

Gottlieb makes a sobering point in the  magazine article about women and all the various “dating things” we do wrong.

Many of us were raised on stories about Cinderella, Prince Charming, Wolf Ranges, white picket fences and Volvos. Some of us bought into the fairy tale and elevated ourselves high atop lofty (lonely)  princess pedestals.

Sky high, self esteem puts one just beyond the reach of really great guys. Whoops! Time to climb down, sister,  Get real, and be open.

Marry Him is smart summer reading. You want to get attention on the beach or by the pool? Walk around with this  book – see what happens.

You’ll see: the book is rife with very cogent points; chances are you’ll open your eyes, blink, and shake your head in disbelief. And, in total agreement.

All I know: Life is all about compromise, and at this stage of the game (50-something) we know that compromise is the panacea of life.

The best relationships are all about give and take. Right?

Remember: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. And he knows it.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/03/marry-him/6651/happy woman

Top 10 List: You know you are in love when

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The Top 10 Classic Clues:

You know you  are in love when the Joy of Sex replaces
the Joy of Cooking
You are so ‘In Love’ when:
1. You’ve become bilingual in the language of love – lots of “Sweetheart, babe, honey, and darlings” punctuate your sentences now.
2. It takes you 10 minutes to dress for workand two hours to bathe and then put together the right shoes, outfit, accessories, scent, and fix your hair and prepare for a date with your paramour.
3. You scour The Pink Section, the Pacific Sun, Gold Star  for local jazz and entertainment venues- looking for hot events.
4. The Joy of Cooking has been replaced with The Joy of Sex as your reference manual.
5. Feeling Intoxicated: You seek out that perfect bottle of wine for a perfect evening. Frequently.
6.  You Smile and Laugh way more than is humanly necessary – you just can’t help it.
7. Love Songs: Michael Buble and Sinatra and Bocelli love songs – make you swoon – especially “Besame Mucho.”
8.. You linger in the lingerie department – your imagination running a marathon of mischief. Fresh flowers, candles, and table settings have resurrected to a new level of appreciation in your world.
9. On Cloud 9: Your friends and coworkers comment that you’re constantly “In a good mood.”
10.You start reading and writing poetry:You memorize the Robert Burns famed romantic poem, “A Red, Red, Rose”

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”

                                                                           Robert Frost Page Larkin Follow me on FACEBOOK

Buyer Beware: Kooks on Craigslist

 theme park sideshowIt’s  too early  for April Fool’s gags – however, look at these random Craigslist postings.

Buyer beware.

Granted, times are tough and the tough-to-take seem to be hanging around the

Craigslist water-cooler.

Here is a random sampling from recent San Francisco ‘Men Looking for Women’ age 50- 60 category.

  •         Nice looking guy in search of a lady with a pool in the San Rafael area for the summer.    Get back to me.
  •         I am married, in an open relationship, due to lack of interest…Is this you, also?
  •         I love dogs, cats, and horses, and  critters; like garage sales, flea markets, collect neat old stuff. Interested?
  •        My last girl friends were great, but apart from sex, we had nothing in common.
  •         I live on Social Security and that’s it. I’m not rich, I just want someone cool and lady like.
  •          Almost 5’9′, 210 pounds with wavy hair would like to find a very petite or slim (or at least HWP) ordinary housewife, or working mother, who wonders how it would feel to be with a strange man just once.
  •         Need a girlfriend and you need a boyfriend. I’m attached, but have plenty of free time.
  •         Semi-perfect sensualist wants to play Adam & Eve with a thorny thinker.
  •        I’m 70. Want to be the granddaughter I never had? Let’s go out to dinner and on little shopping trips. Come to my place and watch movies or study for school. I used to teach college.
  •          Currently attached WM (5’4″, 160, nice looking) wants to meet a married or single woman.
A warning sign for the public

Fact: “Attached men” are the epitome of a dead end. Avoid at all costs.

Fact: Goofy Grandpa claims to have taught college (U. of Hard Knocks?) and is strange, kooky and spooky. How is it, an overweight guy (admittedly a strange man)  is seeking a petite, ordinary housewife? What is an ordinary housewife? Aren’t all housewives extraordinary?

On the Other Side of the Ledger

Men who write Craigslist posts like the following must be besieged with emails responses:

  • Want to make some music together? I live on a steady diet of foreign films; I like to cook on week ends and skate in Golden Gate Park. Earl Thomas  at Biscuits and Blues is high on my list of great blues and fun things to do every month. I also like John Coltrane. And dark chocolate.
  • Me? Sensitive, romantic, well spoken. I have great table manners and I like to go out on the town. Prefer quiet old-school restaurants that are not too noisy. My friends say I am a great cook.. I love to dance and take walks on any beach, anytime.In the Sierras, I will  jump into mountain lakes. What about you?

It is better to err on the side of caution than to be cavalier.

So: Caveat Emptor: use caution, use the delete button, seek out “good guys” and check out other authentic dating sites.
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“The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and must therefore be treated with great caution.”  J.K. Rowling

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

 

‘Updated’ Shortest Fairy Tale – new and improved

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It went viral – The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale – was all over the Internet.

Bitter or Better?


Let’s try that again..

imagesOnce upon a time”… a man asked a woman, to marry him.  The woman said, ‘ No’ …and for a while  she lived pretty -happily-ever -after…

She went shopping, hiking, went to movies and volunteered at Casa de los Madres and Onebrick…she danced, frequented museums, book readings, drank really great wine, always had a clean house, did yoga three times a week;  cooked quinoa, tofu, brownies and  triple chocolate chip cookies when she felt like it; she did whatever she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many friends, compatriots, pals,  buddies  …

She entertained, went to lectures, bowled, she played and prayed – as needed.  She never watched sports ( except the SF Giants, the World Series, the Super Bowl and Wimbledon)  She never wore itchy cheap lingerie; had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled…she looked fabulous in
sweat pants,  designer  jeans and a Little Black Dress  and  was pleasant all the time.

photo_1ben918_20060901Yawn. All that got old.

She learned that she was missing an important component…she craved and pined for someone  to partner with, establish  a connection – a union – a much more than mere friendship person.

She wanted to hold hands with, to wake -up -with-in-the morning, to kiss good night and wish ‘sweet dreams’ to every night for the rest of her life. ilove u_-9

She wanted a Prince of man   

A  perfect partner-in-crime, and play, in plans, to grow old with … And she opened her heart and her eyes and developed a more worldly view.  She was always one to share and play well with others…

When, lo and behold: she met a friend. A boy-friend – and they clicked- they were a Match, they had Chemistry and Harmony… they got along and enjoyed each other’s company. Friends for Life. They planned, played, and lived happily ever after.


Deckchairs with view of lake

Top Ten Romantic Places to Kiss in San Francisco

The Top 10 Romantic Places

in San Francisco

Everyone knows the San Francisco is the consummate romantic Mecca and there are dozens of romantic places to buss/smooch/osculate and kiss

The Top 10? After much research ~ I can heartily attest:

1. The Top of the Stairs at Broadway and Lyon – the view, alone, will take your breath away. It’s a secret place, off the beaten track and and it inspires romance.

2. Under the Clock of the Ferry Building

The Golden Ghetto ~ on Saturday mornings ~ the sight of the famous Farmer’s Market. See the aubergine and tangerine, enjoy quaffing champagne, or sample at the Caviar Bar, select divine picnic items, revel in the sweet smells of butter, sugar and cinnamon wafting from the numerous bakeries, indulge in a Blue Bottle coffee…enjoy the towers of stunningly beautiful fresh flowers, and gaze at the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses…walk along the water …Everything is pretty darn seductive and suggestive. Can you say: An Affair to Remember?

3. The corner booth at The Grand Café (Geary and Taylor) It’s all about location, location, location. Sexy, seductive, alluring and private. Ambiance. Fabulous hors d’ oeuvres and great mixologists.images

4. The Make Out Room named appropriately, you don’t need another clue. Stimulating venues.

5. The Tonga Room At the Fairmont ~Nob Hill. Yum~ Drinks with tiny umbrellas – tropical atmosphere and It’s like the Tiki Room without the birds~ Nowhere else in San Francisco can you kiss in the rain forest.

6. Sweet – As you leave divine and sublime XOX truffles in North Beach- with a small box of San Francisco’s real “treat” ~The quality and richness of the 27 unforgettable tiny chocolate kisses – and yummy flavors are sure to entice~

7. Palace of Fine Arts San Francisco’s most majestic and remarkable shrine…originally created for the 1915 World’s Fair by the incredible visionary Bernard Maybeck …near the columns, under the statues of weeping women, at the lagoon or undulating grassy area.

8. Golden Gate Bridge, anytime of the day ~ must be midspan…even with the infamous summer fog and wind whipping about – The GGB is one of the City’s most romantic and frantic destinations.

9. The Pier – Crissy Field, the only pier pressure, you will find us from your gull-friends swooping overhead. 360 degree views …Crashing waves, frothy white caps, sometimes blue skies and a breathtaking skyline.

10. The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park the spun sugar palace, replica of Kew Gardens, is all good things: sultry- sexy and steamy. Bonus ~Beautiful flowers in abundance. A Must: Buss behind the begonias…

So, get on the buss~ Everyday is Valentine’s day in Romantic San Francisco~~~

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination.”      Albert Einstein

Sex on the beach – a 30 year Retro-spective

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When you’re 18, and a boy asks you to go to the beach,   you grab your parent’s Pendleton blanket, dash out the door, and go to the beach. You are probably wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.

In college, when a guy asks you to go to the beach, you pull the blanket off the bed in your dorm room and locate 2 cans of Budweiser beer. You’re probably wearing a sweatshirt with your school logo and jeans.

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In your 20s, when a man asks you to the beach, you grab a tattered quilt from a roommate’s closet, you grab a bottle of Mountain Red, a wedge of brie, a loaf of French bread, two glasses, paper napkins, and your Swiss Army knife. You’re probably wearing an embroidered peasant blouse, your sweatshirt from college and jeans.

In your 30s, when a friend asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, your Swiss Army knife, a decent bottle of Pinot Noir, a small, inspired meal including: a green salad, French lentils, two kinds of cheese, grapes, both crackers and a baguette, cloth napkins, truffle brownies, and you place everything in a well appointed picnic hamper. You are most likely wearing a pair of designer jeans, a T-shirt, a hoodie and a leather jacket.

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In your 50s,when a man asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, you find the sunscreen, your hat, your sunglasses, get a cashmere wrap to go over your cashmere hoodie, pull a great bottle of Copain Pinot Noir from your wine stash, throw together a picnic including an impressive triple cream, imported fig jam, a loaf of that great Acme bread, some of the fabulous Swiss chard with garlic and potatoes and the balsamic vinegar reduction you threw together, melon slices and grapes, two lemon tarts and your Swiss Army knife.

You easily locate the small serving platters, cloth napkins, a tablecloth, two Reidel glasses.

You pluck a rose from your garden and locate that little vase to put it in. Everything fits in the lovely, antique picnic hamper you have had forever. You put the cat out, turn the answering machine on, find that old, worn and comfy sweatshirt from college, slip into your faded pair of jeans and drive over to pick him up.

“For times they are a changing…” Bob  Dylan

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: page.larkin @gmail.com

Don’t miss – a single Page Larkin column – click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

Do you Catch and Release when dating?

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Are you wading in the shallow end of the coy~ dating pond?

Catch and Release is the new modus operandi…

My good friend, Mike,  is an avid fly fisherman with a handful of favorite rivers in Patagonia and Helena.

His Montana license plate reads: Carp D Um.

A big proponent of Catch and Release, Mike also has a unique approach to online  dating. He knows his way around a fluke and a sole, knows when to angle and when to perch.

With a half dozen years under his belt as a suddenly-single-again male, he has developed some interesting dating techniques. Based on the old catch and release philosophy: he meets, greets, calls, emails and connects with a wide range of women on two different online dating services. No, he does not use Plenty of Fish.  He is a ‘reel’ guy with an innate curiosity and openness.

Mike is not coy…a CPA, by training, he calls online dating “The numbers game.

Like the patient fisherman he is, he throws a few lines in the water every week and sees what transpires.mna

You have to love his well-modulated and persistent approach.  

He recently reported that he had hung up his metaphorical fishing rod and was dating the love of his life. And,  he is the happiest he has been in years.  Yea, Mike!

His big brotherly advice, “Online dating is a numbers game.

Don’t be coy – don’t be shy – make the first move.”

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Table for Two, or too many? Monogamy or monotony?


When we left her, our heroine, Kelly, had just ditched Mr. Polyamorous and was moving on.

   The Date Watchers were discussing cheating, sharing and polyamory. They concluded they were all much more Pollyanna than Polyamory.

What happened to Pollyanna?

A week after checking the “opt out” box with Mr. Ménage a Many, Kelly was on the elevator at the 450 Sutter Medical Building  and ran into an old (50-something) college friend, a dentist, widowed a year before, and a ballroom dance aficionado. From the 24th floor to the lobby they chatted, laughed and agreed to go dancing and now, they are making beautiful music together. It happens.

Mad About You…and You… and You

Kelly, 55, (the ink on the divorce papers was barely dry) had to chime in with her tale of “whoa.” She recently signed up on two online dating sites. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, she said she been blissfully dating – multiple men. She was like a kid in a candy store. She bragged she was making up for lost time.

The other women listened as Kelly regaled them with her tales from the crib. Thirty dates in thirty days sounded impressive and exhausting. Would a diabetic coma follow her sweet overload?

Two of the women agreed they experienced that same the same post-divorce-euphoria, to a lesser degree. The consensus was that hyper-active, Kelly should slow down and smell the flowers, instead of mowing them down. She was the classic too much, too soon, too fast, fey divorcee.

Kelly said she was upfront with each of the three men she was dating. The first guy said, “Hasta la vista, baby,” and walked out;  Number Two wanted to woo Kelly and was willing to stay in the game; Number Three said “…give me a call when you’re done experimenting.”

Can You Spell STD?

The wine continued to flow as did the opinions. Yes, of course, all agreed life is short, however they also encouraged Kelly to slow down, take precautions, get tested, and focus on quality, not quantity.

Marlene, the wise said, “Kelly, sweetie, you’ve got ADD. You have all the classic symptoms of Affection Deficit Disorder. It’s been a long time since you have had any action; all of this serial dating is just frothy, light and fun. Get it out of your system and then get real.”

The women raised their glasses in unison and said,“Here’s to those who love us, and here’s to those who don’t, a smile for those who are willing to, and a tear for those who won’t.”

Kelly, of the ‘get in the last word’ countered with,

Remember what Mae West said,” Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

Cheers.

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