Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “Dating on Match.com”

The New Faces on Match.com

Ginnie was thrilled to be Single and Free. Freshly divorced she made ‘the move.’

After living in tiny Centerville, VA she moved to Our Nation’s Capital and moved in with her younger, sister Tiffany.

Ginnie’s sister had started with an entry level accounting job at the FBI and quickly rose to the Forensics ranks and was happily ensconced in a postion where she reviewed and analyzed financial institution fraud.

The sisters spent a great deal of time sipping Pinot Noir and talking about men, dating, creeps, kooks, cool guys and romance. They were both up for meeting their “Date for Life.” Tiff had dabbled on J.Swipe, Tinder, Plenty of Fish and wasn’t any too pleased with the guys who cropped up.

Her big “crush” on JSwipe, the Jewish Dating Site,  had pursued her with a flood of text messages that had her hook-like and sinker. At one point, he sugggested she call him. Rather than the 2 pm suggested time, she was free to call him at 3 pm – and she got his message machine. His message, “Hi, this is Sean Sullivan. Please leave a message. Slainte” Whoa! An Irish Sean on a Jewish site? Turns out that was nothing compared to the number of married men she found on Tinder.

The parade of DC men were…different. DC Comics different…The sisters knew who and what they were looking for…Wish them luck!

New at the Dating Game? So is this lady

Caught in the World Wide Web
of laughs, lines, and libertines
And, this ain’t no Charlotte’s Web

Dear Page,

I am one to peruse Match.com on occasion – okay, twice a day -whether I need to or not.
I have grown accustomed to his smiles. You know – the smiles of the guys in the 40 to 50 year old range.

That’s my milieu, 40-50…Match advises a decade age span to best attract the future date of the month.
If I were to listen to Rayella, in my yoga class, I would subscribe to her theory that all guys on the WWW lie.
She said, “None of the men online are the age they claim to be” She said, “All of them use photos from years ago.”
Antique photos?

No, no, say it isn’t so…
I dismissed her pessimism and attributed that dour point of view to her curly red hair and whiny personality…
in addition, she is a size 2, you know what that means-what could she possibly know?

An optimist, and new at the new scene for singles, I hopped aboard the Fun Train of Internet dating and before I could memorize my new password, 27 men had looked me over and 16 had winked at me.

Well, maybe it was a blink. Could be a nervous twitch. So I started winking, blinking, nodding.The conundrum, is -Socrates asked it first – (Frosh year philosophy)
What is truth?

On my virgin voyage on Craigslist – I posted a flirty ad.  I met a  man who fianlly admitted he was married (instantly declared null and void)

met one playboy /one dating dabbler, and some very angry people.

…and then were the 40 yr olds and the 65 year olds and then the “photo only” types, the “hit and runs” – mean and caustic remarks posted and then they vanish sans backbone.

I thought: It’s got to get better. And it did. Although, not online.

Best to all of us singles in this quest.

I doff my cap -and quoff my cafe latte – to all those enterprising men and women out there – skating through life – skating on the thin ice of internet dating…

Gina in Burlingame

Dear Gina in Burlingame,

I love this Steve Jobs quote about starting over- see if it fits for you.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.   Steve Jobs

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dates on Match.com

Dilapidated windowAlexa and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Dates

One Woman’s Story- Online Dating Disappoints: We are not a match!

Alexa is 57, divorced, RN, lives in South San Francisco, has a kid in college, is a mild hiker and musical theater devotee. She decided to throw her hat in the ring and sign up with Match.com

Day #1

The dating company sent the first “Batches o’ Perfect Matches.”

  • The first picture was of a guy on a big red tractor in a field. She had nothing in common with him.
  • The second was a photo of man kissing his cat. She loathed cats and worried about a guy posting a photo like that.
  • The third picture was three balding men all standing together a bar. They all looked alike. Who was the candidate?
  • Finally, there was a smattering headshots of men wearing all hiding behind sunglasses and baseball hats.

The last picture she could stand looking at that day was Clive from Palo Alto wearing a lampshade. And the message was: “I am dying to talk to you on the telephone. Please call immediately.” Bizarre.

Just as she was ready to ‘throw in the towel… she received an email from Match.com: Roberto wanted to “Connect.”

The barrage of disappointing matches was followed by this email from Spooky Roberto. (unedited)

Der Sir or Madam.

Pardon to cut you unaware. I had to do this because i m desperate to connect with you and i was thinking if this was right? let me be the criminal of desperation in the court of love… lol….i’m very  fun to be around with… Perhaps that you will have to find out, if you give me the privilege to know you?. I think the this idea is creative lol.

 My name is Terry and i m using colleague profile. 55 years of age, widower, 5.11ft tall, cute, with good sense of humor. Age is a number.

 I live in California, I m not a registered member yet and this not my account and photos. It’s for an old colleague of mine in a conference whom wanted to show me around online dating. I got attracted to your write up, and i think we have some things in common to share  Feel free to contact me to contact me on my email and i will tell you more about me and send you my current pictures.  robertoterry04 @ g m a i l.c o m    looking forward to hear.

 Sent From My iPhone

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Alexa was going to re-think Match.com…it wasn’t looking good.

It could only get better, maybe.

Beware The Scams and Dead Ends

Girls just want to have fun… and facts

pretty-woman-635245__180Women can reach a level of instant communication in line at Safeway or crossing the street at Union Square.

All it takes is one sentence, like “I love your shoes.” These four little words from one woman to another can open a fleeting, 60-second, heart-to-heart conversation and then, bam! We’re on to the next totally, sincere, succinct conversation with another total stranger. Such is life.

Tal, talk ltalk___180

Granted, our conversations could be as deep as a thimble: “Who does your hair?” “Your purse is open.” Or we ask directions. As needed. All day long we stop strangers for directions. On the Spanish Steps, across from St Peters, on Lombard Street or Santana Row.

We ask questions and we ask directions. (Karyn K, lost and driving a rental car in Washington DC, asked a taxi driver to lead her out of our nation’s capital. She didn’t want to waste time on GPS or MapQuest, She simply paid the driver – no fuss, no muss.

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Our motto is, “When in doubt, ask questions.” This is part of female DNA.

While volunteering at the San Francisco Film Festival, I had a coffee break with another woman, GiGi.  (Note: a lot of women volunteer at film festivals.) In no time, we discovered we had dated the same Lothario.

Months earlier, we had both been on Match.com. She started to warn me about Philip the millionaire chef. I told her I, too, had dated The Chef. Then he announced he was off to Kenya for safari and would be back in three months. Never heard from him again.  No loss, no magic.

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Months later, The Chef called her and told her he was going helicopter skiing in Gstadd and she never heard from him again. Bored,  she Googled the guy. She discovered the flamboyant San Francisco native, a true character, left not -a-trace-despite elaborate stories about his famous family. Nothing could be found. The Chef disappeared until he didn’t and he was back on Match.com

 

GiGi of unlimited funds and insatiable curiosity hired a private detective-only to learn the Chef was a Tenderloin Tenant, not a Nob Hill resident and more of a transient than a chef extraordinaire. He was a weaver of a web of lies.

I had moved on and was in a delightful romance with a dancer-English lit major-writer, who earned his keep ghostwriting biographies for jilted politician’s wives.  He was making a killing.

GiGi felt it was her duty to warn other women about The Chef-the weaver of lies. It is what we do women, we talk.call _me667_n

Now you know: beware The Chef

Tell me your story: page.larkin@gmail.com

 

Lonely and looking; a companion – movies, walks, dine around

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All the lonely people – where do they all come from?

Fran ( 46, grade school teacher, hiker and biker) of San Francisco is sick and tired of the hide and seek games on Match.com  She reports that she  sends a note of interest to a guy who looks ‘attractive’ and, bam! He doesn’t respond or disappears. She is ready to quit the site. Again.

Mike H. (68, close to retirement, trivia and Chess whiz) is divorced again and lonely. He wants to meet a ‘friend’ – no fuss, no muss, Dutch Treat. He would love to  go to Banging Drum in San Rafael for Trivia night with a buddy. He can’t seem to ‘make new friends’ and would never look online for a friend. He is simply stumped.

Dion is 42 and bummed. He laments that no one says, “Good morning.” He lives in an Embarcadero high-rise – in a petite condo for a grand price. He thinks everyone in the building is either shy or a snob. Mrs Hannigan, on the 21st floor, is the one cheery, vivacious person he sees around the building. Albert thought about wearing a T-shirt that says, “Hi! How are you?” He misses talking to his neighbors. He chats up all the baristas’, butchers, bakers, checkout clerks – in every store. He smiles at strangers. He wants to build and  re-build relationships. He was popular in Rockridge and thought living in San Francisco would be much more social. Do you?

How many people do you talk to every day? Shy or Snob?

What are you willing to do meet other singles in San Francisco?

 

Tell me: page.larkin@gmail.com

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Rebuild

Are you Suddenly Single – euphoric or exasperated? Readers say:

unnamedDear Page

I’ve got it bad, and that ain’t good, it’s fabulous! I’ve had more dates in 2015 than I had before I was married. I’ve met Tom, Rick, and Larry, and 20 other guys. I’m having fun sampling the wares on Match.com and OKCupid. After my dry, boring marriage, dating is fun! I have learned a lot about Dating at 50 (I’ am 47)  from your column, thanks! Sheila

Dear Sheila,

After you get off the dating merry-go-round and get serious-let’s talk! Write to me: Page.Larkin@gmail.com

You are experiencing “post divorce euphoria” and tripping the light fantastic dating game. This too shall pass. I hope you find your knight in shining armor. Remember to slow down and smell the roses, my peripatetic reader. We’ll talk.

Love, Page

Dear Page,

I’ve been off and on Match.com for five years. I can’t handle the hunt, dead end dates and the disappointment for more than three months at a time. I have to admit I met some “nice” women, but, they could be my sisters – nice but no chemistry.

I used those San Francisco matchmakers was out $5000 and met the same women I saw on Match.com at a different price point. Help. Maybe I just need a good pickup line?

Prince not so charming

sad manDear Prince not so charming

Don’t give up. And props to you for trying! The dating game can be a dream or nightmare. Try this one on for size – when you meet a woman that you’re somewhat interested in, say, “Would you have time to meet for coffee?” Let me know how that works for you.

Love and peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin

X and I had three dates. I took her to dinner, to Biscuit and Blues, and dancing at the Top of the Mark. Now, she won’t answer my text, calls or e-mails. I thought she might be ill, and then noticed she’s back on Ourtime.com.

Bummed in Berkeley

Dear Bummed in Berkeley,

You are both gracious and generous. She is not. S.I.N.T.I.T.U. (She is not that into you) Best advice: Move on. The best is yet to come.

Love and peace,

Page

Do you have a question, a query, a comment or a conundrum? Drop me a line – tell me how adjusting to being Suddenly Single and Dating Again is working for you. Thanks for the floods of fan mail – I love you.

page.larkin@gmail.com

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The Dating at 50 Game: Risk! Trivial Pursuit, Solitaire or Sorry?

golden-gate-bridge-534614__180The following letter is from K.Sarah-Sarah- 57, divorcee, small business owner who reports back on her Suddenly Single/ Match.com experience:

To: Page Larkin – The Dating Queen

From: K.Sarah-Sarah– my first loves on Match.com

Once Upon a Time: when I ventured onto Match.com I asked my friends, Who will I be? What will I say? What will I find? Who will come to me? Will he be handsome? Will he be rich? Here’s what they said to me: Que sera, sera whatever will be will be. The future’s not yours to see, que sera sera.

I didn’t believe them…what did they know? They were married.

And so I wrote a pretty hot –a tiny bit enhanced- I Am Single Hear Me Roar kind of profile laced with innuendo, wit and charm.

I put on my best smile. I posted five (count them: 5) photographs. Divulged a few curious yet cogent facts about moi. I was warm and I was vulnerable. I might have dipped in the braggadocio bag a bit.

Like everyone else, I sat back and waited for responses. And, so it began. First a flood – like a feeding frenzy –Attencione! New Woman on the Island! 

I received winks and Im’s and dozens of emails: long and short and sweet and strange- from every type, size, age, weight, birth sign, religion.

I met a few men

Some came with a lotta baggage – a few with small carry-ons. Some were marvelous and wonderful – a few  were “separated”  and merely playing the field; Others had pre-conceived notions –some with a lot of “notions.” It was right out of Dickens: best of times – worst of times.

After six months and dozens of dates – with some lovely, interesting, yet dead end men – so not so great… I gave it a rest.

Here I am – just as pretty and witty a wry – still a Party of One with No reservations…well, a few.

Hey, the Big Takeaway:

The online dating games like Chemistry, JDate,Match, etc – like the game of life: a little Risk, a dash of Trivial Pursuit, some Sorry, Solitaire, bit of Small World and a lotta Twilight Struggle…

Que sera, sera. Whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours to –  see ya!

 Love, K.Sarah Sarah

I’m still here (see Elaine Stritch)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T67wmsEaYcE

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Tell me your dating story: page.larkin@gmail.com

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