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Dating 101: Breaking the Code – reading between the lines


If we weren’t speaking in code, what would we really be saying?

Reading dating profiles on Chemistry,, or JDate  can be dizzying.

As you wade through a minefield of clichés,  brags and bon mots, you wonder how to decipher this new barrage of data.

Where do you get a romance Rosetta stone? Is there a special Code or handshake?

The answer? Read between the lines and take it all with a grain of salt.

Due Diligence and Reading Between the Lines

Tommy wrote that he hailed from the citrus belt of California. (Orange County, Republican) He reads the New Yorker and legal stuff .(Lawyer) He loves debating (argumentative) and says his two kids are his best friends. (Uh oh) He says he’s tired of restaurants (cheap) and prefers TV dinners. (Yawn) In his profile photo, Tommy commits a grave error by wearing the egregious hat and sunglasses (Hiding: bad hair, no hair, squinty eyes, tattoos.) Caution

To Tell the Truth?

‘Cherie Game Girl’ writes that she ‘Likes Jenga and Bogle’ (couch potato) and adores her cats. She says she “Is a big woman, with a big heart and big fun.” No mystery there. Cherie’s candid photograph indicate the same. She is honest and to the point.

‘Walter Mitty Mark’ should be a fiction writer. Despite his friend’s protestations, he writes that he is “A doctor with three North Bay offices; he collects old cars, has a place in the mountains, and he had a pied-a-terre in the City; in addition, he says he collects French wines. His best friends will tell you, actually, the Veterinarian business is slow, so Mark works three days-a-week all over Petaluma and Novato.

His fleet? He drives a great old truck; he has a Rambler and a Corvair. Tahoe digs? He has a big tent, in the summer, above Truckee. His place in the City? He camps out with a buddy, in a studio apartment, when the two are partying and painting the town beige. Mark likes a good story and tells one – after another. Someone has to tell him Ménage a Trois is not a French wine.

Glamazon Gal’ writes her entire profile in uppercase letters. Those in the know say, beware: anger issues here.  Glam says she’s “spontaneous to a fault” (more caution). This generally translates to disorganized, ditzy, and unpredictable. All are qualities some people might… cherish. Or not.

There are a lot of stories in “The Dating City.”

Remember: Honesty is the best policy and the truth will set you free – and help you avoid embarrassing situations.

Carpe diem, have fun out there in date world.

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The Hunger Games and the Dating Games

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The best selling,  The Hunger Games, by Susan Collins, are being gobbled up the 50+ crowds, too.

The Date Watchers  were meeting at San Francisco’s famed bakery, La Boulange, to weigh in on the controversial Hunger Games.


It was Marjorie, an avid reader, who enthusiastically recommended the trilogy to the group.  When asked if it was a diet-book she summarized, “No, it’s like Shirley Jackson’s, The Lottery  meets Survivor, meets dystopia, murder and mayhem.” .

A little hesitant, the group waltzed over to Green Apple Books on Clement Street and picked up the riveting, grab-you-by-the-brain books, and each found they couldn’t put them down. It wasn’t Jane Austen – but like a magnet –  it held our attention.

Sense and Sensibility

Katniss, the heroine, is smart, bold, and resourceful. Throughout the books she contends with poverty, oppression, disease, starvation and all that dystopia.  After myriad battles, suffering, misery, horrible misfortune, she eventually out-wits the consummate evil tyrant, President Snow.

Dating Games?

Marjorie was launching into her book comments when Janine, the group’s real dating-diva, piped up. She said the Hunger Games were like dating games. Dead silence.

Three of the women (single again, 50+, mildly experienced at online dating) chimed in and drew obvious parallels to the book and their fledgling social lives.

Admittedly, there was no abject terror, torture or treason in dating at 50, but there was definite hunting and survival. You  had to be strong and somewhat fearless to go online and survive the experience.

Pride and Prejudice

Janine, (55, divorced twice) the most seasoned online dating diva, had tried her luck on, Eharmony, and

She went out with dozens of men in her five-year survey of the dating scene.  Her dating mantra was very Will Rogers, “I never met a man I didn’t like – a little.” Her next day play-by-play dating stories kept the Date Watcher’s entertained. Some of the other women had more fear than chutzpah.  They admitted to living vicariously through Janine’s stories.

Consensus: The Hunger Games: Five Stars; and the Date Watchers can’t wait for the March 23rd movie release date; Dating at 50+ compared to the Hunger Games? A piece of cake. )

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others.

My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”

Jane Austen- Pride and Prejudice


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