Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “dating again”

Mary used to be a sweet kindergarten teacher – then, bam!



She blamed it on reading too many fairy tales as a little girl.

She was all in for meeting a Prince Charming, or three. Ready, willing, and able, she could full in love at the drop of a hat or robust compliment. She was 34, single and a kindergarten teacher. Most of her friends were married with children.

Over the summer, she decided she was  like a parched desert. She had a scorched heart and a red-hot desire to be madly in love. And so it began: The Beauty Campaign. She signed up for barre lessons and joined a gym, decided to go Paleo, and gave up chocolate. She tiptoed around the cosmetic counters at various department stores and picked up beauty  tips and product samples. There was change in the air.

Mary was famous for her elaborate, brightly colored quilts. She was also a master-knitter and her gossamer sweaters were breathtakingly beautiful. Both of these pursuits fed into her loneliness. She spent way too much time spent at home alone. Her friends told her Wine Tasting was a lot more fun. Cheers.

She put her needles away and decided to get out more. She read San Francisco Chronicle Datebook, attended lectures at the JCC, and the Nourse. She discovered Litquake and was busy attending all kinds of parties, readings and special events.

And her little black book was teeming with the names of new friends. Her once bleak social calendar filled gradually and she became busier and happier than before.

That’s her 2016 Halloween Card, She has come a long way, baby!



Deja Vu all over again – dating the one who got away

ties-756226__180The Déjà vu Date, also referred to as a the “Re Date” is a dating phenomenon widely embraced by singles today.

Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and for a ‘Second chance at love.’

Webster might define a Deja vu date as an active verb with legs: “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

One Date Wonders

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach and disappear. It smacks of Goldilocks: too hard, too soft, too weird or just too the-timing-was-not-right.

There are a million stories in the dated city.
The concept of a Re Date introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were too rash, at first blush.

If at first you don’t succeed, Re Date.

Bobby J. has been called, among other things, a “Perpetual Bachelor.” He has an iPhone crammed with phone numbers, a little Black Book, plus a Rolodex filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.

Let’s just say he has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.
He said, “Re Dating is like a romantic breakthrough, where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to heartily connect, again.” Bravo, Bobby!

startup_dating__180The Online Dating Buffet

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of online pictures and dating profiles on the on line dating sites is very similar to a never-ending buffet line or jaunt through a candy store.
The problem is  the wide assortment, it stultifies. Both men and women admits to be overwhelmed, minds get muddled and hearts go thump in the night.
Mistakes are made and we all think about the one who got away.
The answer: Re Date. Give it a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Text that cutie that got way. 


“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”

Virginia Woolf


Try a Re Date Today and drop me at line at:


February 14th: the day that strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men


 Feeling Chicken?

Why do single men hide on Valentine’s Day?

Just try asking a single man to meet you for coffee on the day after February 13th and expect a flood of excuses. There is something about St Valentine’s Day that scares the bejesus out of single, unattached men.

Granted, retail stores started decorating with giant red hearts, Cupids, Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and pushing Valentine’s Day on January 1.

Dating might be a little scary for some – the whole fear – thing and striking out.

 (“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” Babe Ruth)

 Carpe diem, dude

Meeting a person of the opposite sex for coffee, wine, champagne, or a stroll in Muir Woods or around Stow Lake does not a commitment make…Lighten up and seize the day. Every day.

One Man’s Story: Ethel met Fred online –

He was attracted to her Mae West wit and her affection for (and ownership of) ancient Volvos and Peugeots. Turns out, they both had once tried West Coast Swing, Speed Dating and Praying and Sweating in Sausalito  – both failed at all three and laughed about their experiences. They had chemistry, they had conversation and a lot in common. Ethel suggested meeting at The No Name Bar in Sausalito the following day- and Fred blathered and backed off so fast he almost fell off the floor…

He panicked. Being an American Male – once married and expected to provide Roses, Chocolates, Sweet Nothings every February 14th – he had a Pavlovian reaction.

What are you afraid of?

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. Bertrand Russell


“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”  Dale Carnegie

Psst! Are you afraid to make a move?

Every year, there are myriad reports about dating  fears, frights and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are: irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things)

The Top 10 Common Fears Known to Single Men & Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – fear of women
7. Hominophobia -fear of men
8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”Franklin D Roosevelt 

Flirt Early – flirt often – Blame Cupid

Go on, make a move.  Get off the couch, push away from the computer, and go outside and play. What are you afraid of?  

Face your fears and they disappear like those tiny bubbles in a glass of champagne.

Whether your are 30 or 60 – Male or Female –  A Simple Solution: Send out  a few Valentines ~ to every sweetheart, sweetie, crush, object of your flirtations and say Cupid made me do it!  Cheers.

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Page Larkin San Francisco Examiner at 50

Deja vu all over again? Online dating: round two


Déjà vu dating or This all looks so familiar?

After a two year sabbatical from the Wide Wonderful World of Internet Dating, Carol decided to consult with Wolfgang, the “Psychic to the Stars.” Should she try dating again? Divorced for five years, she had already been the Poor Little girl once, enjoyed a flurry of first and second dates, met a passel of men and made a lot of “friends.” And, then she met Ralph.
He had an Altar Ego

She and romantic Ralph dated for three very intense months. It took that long for her to fully realize he was in a huge rush to the altar. Any altar – with any one. It was too much, too soon, too fast for her. They parted amicably. She dodged a bullet.

She booked an appointment with the psychic and was finally seated across from the famous Wolfgang; a small, marble-topped, table between them. After shuffling an over-sized deck of faded and worn Tarot cards, he had her select seven cards. He looked at the cards, briefly. Without missing a beat he said, “Darling, Internet dating, really? You will be fishing in the same pond.”

She looked at him quizzically and as he scooped up the cards with a flourish, he said, “It will be all the same men, darling.” No, no, say it isn’t so!

Carol, known to be a wee bit cynical, is also an optimist in all things romantic. She defied the prediction and defiantly climbed aboard the Dating Train. It had been awhile; she wasn’t sure of the new rules, the quicker pace, current buzzwords and the dating site’s shiny, new bells and whistles.

Stepping on a treadmill that was ‘on’ at full speed?

Like a blast from the past,

Carol had a surreal feeling of deja vu. She quickly realized old Wolfgang made a point. Here she was again, and – a veritable parade of very familiar male faces danced before her on the computer screen. Here were the same old pictures of the guys from before. And, magically, none of them had aged! They were all still 50- and she was two years older!

She scanned the photos and realized a ton of these guys hadn’t even updated their pictures. She remembered the winkin, blinkin’ and nods involved in the on-line dating dance. She could do this. Game on.

Looking for a Few Good Men?

She decided this time around she wasn’t going to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to approach her. She was a girl from the Midwest, a region known for their outgoing, friendly, demeanor. No wallflower action this time around. She would be out going, and going out. She planned to contact one man a day, for one week, and see what kind of luck she had.

This time around, Carol intends to get in the game and pay attention to the red flags.

Are you curious and open enough to try the online dating game?

Contact me, for a 30-minute consultation.

Dating at 50-70… A Workshop for Women- get your Mojo moving – now.







Ready to date – again? Hold on tight

happy womanSo you are 50-ish and single and thinking about Online Dating

Are your ready to get back in the game, again?

When you re-enter the dating jungle – the lush, tropical, sultry, sexy jungle of dating – after an acrid, dry, desert of a dead marriage, you learn a lot.  Fast.

Twenty years since your last date?

The clever little games you used to play, so well, in Dating World circa 20 years ago –no longer apply.  Those old ploys and techniques are out of style and defunct.

Waiting for the phone to ring is so 1992. Get ready to make the first move, call a man, and to flirt via text – skip the sexting- booty calls and sleepovers.

Get ready for women who date a younger man to be called “cougars” –

and men who date decades younger to be called “lucky.”

 Relationships in 2013 are faster and more frenetic than you could ever imagine the last time you were single. Actually, dating these days is more like riding the electronic bucking bull that we all saw  in the old John Travolta movie.

You may think, “Even though I am totally out of practice, I will keep my wits about me, I will remained dignified and in control…” and really, at first, Binkie, you will be holding on for dear life.

The First Dates

So you start dating, and you finally connect with a potential Mr. Right and things progress.  Just like riding a bucking bronco, not only does the pace pick up, but it becomes more difficult to hang on as time goes on… and you both discover dirty little secrets about one another. He rattles the coins in his pockets as he walks through the DeYoung Museum .  He doesn’t tip.  He doesn’t really like anything green – ‘fried everything’ is his menu mantra.

Some of those endearing qualities- he who was so fascinating on every level- now wear a little thin. But you hang in and you hang on. Eventually, you find out he’s thinking about dating two other women.  Hold on! Time to jump ship…

The Epitome –

Something  causes you to lose your footing and you crash; he reveals his disdain for sex and you almost fall off the floor.  Yes, he’s decided sex hurts his back and his lumbago. What’s a girl to do?

So, you climb down off the so-called bucking bronco,  walk over to him, extend your hand, give him his walking papers and wish him well in his Winnebago and his lumbago.

Dating 2013 – may take some tenacity, some luck and a sense of humor.

Your new mantra:  “Next!  The Best is Yet to Come”OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I need a date, Coach!


It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…

 Matt, 47, lives in San Francisco, was married for 20 yrs – now divorced – is new to the dating whirl. Although he is divorced for almost a year, he is still in that quasi-reclusive stage. Some say all that time dealing with judges and lawyers took the joie de vivre and the starch out of him.

Friends have  encouraged him to “get out there and date.”  They have regaled him with dating success stories and yet, he is hesitant to go beyond a second date.

Serendipity happens when you least expect it

Matt recently attended a Medical Equipment  sales conference at the downtown Hilton.  He said the  hotel was teeming with conventioneers.  On the first day he noticed dozens of women, and a handful of men,  flocking to a particular ballroom near his meeting room. He said there were  a ton of pink balloons and multiple  giant vases with red roses at the entrance to the room where all the women seemed to be heading.

Impulsively, he joined  a “swarm” of fast talking, fast moving women, and entered the lively room with them. He deftly removed his  name tag and folded his suit jacket over his arm and sat down.

He said the attractive woman next to him started chatting him up -not realizing she was sitting next to the King of Small Talk.  In no time  he realized the hot pink signs reading “WRD/LCC” was for the:

Western Region Dating / Life Coach Convention.

His first impulse was to dash – an obvious impostor, he might be discovered. He paused. Why Not? Matt sat back, relaxed and waited.

Matt is  an interesting guy – he  enjoyed great success in his career, is a total Mid West -Never Met a Stranger- kind of a guy.

His 20 year marriage evaporated when his wife ran away with the pool boy – actually, it was with the guy who owned the Tri-State Pool Installation mega corporation.

As the opening statements continued, Matt became the totally intrigued interloper. He tells of  being fascinated by what he learned from the panel 0f Dating Coaches ( i.e. be open, talk to strangers, dating is a numbers game- get off the couch and into life – start now.)

It took one morning

Within two hours – a crash course: Matt was launched  into the: I can do this –  dating stratosphere. He stayed for the morning presentations and was dazzled by the flood of information about on-line dating.

He noticed the room was filled with happy, smiling faces. He was one of them. 

Let the Flirting Begin.


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