For you Suddenly Singles and those brand new to Online Dating – read this classic story which bears repeating:
One woman’s story of love, lies, and deception.
Dear Page Larkin,
I’ll be the first to admit that Math is not my strong suit.
I don’t write down every check in a ledger and I around off all my numbers- it’s easier.
However, I can conjugate any verb in three languages. My participles never dangle, and I will never use a double negative. I studied Linguistics and Romance Languages and have a few degrees. None in math.
It was my best friend, Becky, who said those three words that started the beginning of the end of my romance with Donald.
We met online
He was a filmmaker, inventor, skier, chef and jazz pianist. We were both 50 something from the Midwest. He was polite, attentive and free to travel. He had a varied and colorful career and was a talented storyteller.
He attended two Ivy League schools and Cal and had a veritable alphabet soup of miscellaneous degrees after his name. He mentioned Patents and some copyrights- all this fell on deaf ears. I was swept up in a blizzard of bliss and didn’t read any fine print.
Our rapid romance was both exciting, sexy and fun… and also somewhat unsettling.
As much as I liked Donald, and I did, there was something awry. Remember the fable about the Princess and the Pea? I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was something – was it too good, or too much?
Then my best friend in the whole world, Trixie, asked me a simple question – she asked me about Donald’s age and his accomplishments.
Blithely, I recounted a number of his careers and copyrights, his degrees and all the schools he told me he attended. She looked at me quizzically and said, “This guy is 50 and has done all that?” I nodded ‘Yes’, and she said those three hated words: “Do the math.”
Incredulous, I counted backwards and realize that a PhD., two masters degrees, an MBA and a BA and 25 year career as an engineer as well as inventor, chef in Aspen, competitive skier and jazz pianist might not quite add up. I assumed he was merely an over-achiever.
And he was always busy and friends all over the world. And I assumed, again, he was telling the truth
Then Trixie asked me if I had “Googled” Donald, it never dawned on me to research him.
We met on line and I thought I did due diligence in asking all the right questions. He was the consummate gentleman and the whole Google process had escaped me. She repeated herself, “Google the guy.”
So we Googled my darling, charming Donald. Guess how many Donald Johnsons there are? How many ‘hits’ Google has for Donald Johnson? Evidently his is a very common name in the United States and the world.
My pal Diana helped me do an advanced Google search. She’s part Nancy Drew, very much a Ph.D. in Research and Development and a dedicated friend. Within minutes, she came up with “My Donald.”
TMI? Is there such a things as too much information? No, darling, there is no such thing…
So we Googled the guy – and found out that he told a tsunami of fibs, lies, fiction, half-truths and falsifications.
Ergo, I punctuated that chapter in my life with a definitive “So Long!” in three languages: Adios y hasta la vista, baby! Au revoir and auf Wiedersehen!
Thank you, Helen of Tracy.