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Archive for the tag “Berkeley Hats”

Kentucky Derby-whoa! Is that a donkey or a thoroughbred?

And! We are off to the races!

Saturday, May 5 at 4pm EST is the much anticipated 2017 Kentucky Derby and the whole Equine-world will be watching.

Boyfriend Homework It is common knowledge, a horse and a good companion have grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. How does your current companion measure up?

Let’s say your paramour du jour has asked you to a Kentucky Derby party. How do you prepare for the event? Derby Party Success is based on THE Trifecta: hat, stats, quips.

photop-eacock First and foremost: Get a hat – the bigger, the better. Second, research the Derby and know the history, the stats, horses names – remember these two words, “Awesome Act.” Third, in preparation for the Kentucky Derby you should know, an inordinate amount of time leads up to the actual race. So, it’s hours of partying, horse talk, and betting in preparation for the fleeting and mercurial race.

happy_birthday_wm_sQuickly come up to speed – learn a few quotes, quips, and insights about life and horses. Borrow from the Bard.

These Lucky Seven are a good start:

A Hibernian sage once wrote that there are three things a man never forgets: The girl of his early youth, a devoted teacher, and a great horse. ~C.J.J. Mullen

A woman needs two animals – the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it. ~MM

* You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers

* In buying a horse or taking a wife, shut your eyes tight and commend yourself to God. ~ Tuscan Proverb

* There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

* It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall. ~ Mexican Proverb

* If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle. ~ Rita Mae Brownimages-93

Pin the Tail on the Donkey? A Southern belle, who virtually grew up at Kentucky Derby parties, and insists on anonymity, said she has seen more tiffs, spats, disputes between couples at the Derby – than any other sporting event. Blame it on the Mint Juleps? Hats that are too tight? The pressure to perform? She has never been able to pinpoint the actual reason -she merely said, thoroughbreds act like donkeys.

Have fun at the party- Cheers!cocktail-1705561__180-2


Dating in San Francisco sucks: top three reasons


San Francisco may very well be a world-class city; one of the most desirable places to live and the

‘Crown Jewel of California,’ but it sucks to have to “date” here.


The Top Three Reasons:

  1. The Weather

  2. The Parking

  3. The Traffic

#1. Sunny California is a PR Hoax

In June, July, and August, you pull on your heavy coat, muffler, gloves and boots. The groaning foghorns haunt the early morning air – keening. And warning you about the weather of the day: thick, wet, gray, and fog – again. Your hair will be a mess. Curly hair goes “all frizz.” (Tip: BART over to sunny Berkeley and shop at the mind blowing Berkeley Hats for a warm summer chapeau.)

Don’t even try meeting on Nob Hill in the summer months- be prepared for whipping winds and freezing fog as you cross the street from the Big Four, or the Fairmont’s Tonga Room to the Top of the Mark.  The wind tunnel as you leave The Clift Hotel wind tunnel is equally as egregious.

All your friends in San Rafael, Walnut Creek, and Burlingame are wearing sexy sundresses and your enshrouded layers of wool and fleece. The message: -flee the City!

2. The Traffic

So maybe you ride your bike to work from the There- is-no sun-in-the-Sunset District. (Another ancient marketing hoax)

However, you loathe the “Wiggle Room” bike path on Oak Street where multiple copies of show-off  Henry Ego swoosh by- with nary a “on your right.”

You see a bike accident every day and decide to go ’public transportation.’

Hello, MUNI?

Have you ever taken the 38 Geary at 6 PM to get downtown? Be prepared for  a plethora of winos, derelicts, and bizarre del mundos, and, no, they will not give a seat to a lady. There you are teetering on your Manolo’s, wrapped in a scarf, heavy coat, a warm hat – (from Berkeley Hats) gloves and you notice the inmates are running the Asylum.

So, taxicabs are the answer-and they aren’t cheap (I do love LYFT…DeSoto cabs and

3. Perfectly Putrid Parking

If you drive, you know parking costs are astronomical and parking tickets are like snowflakes in the East. They’re everywhere. Armies of rabid meter maids circle the Marina, Union Street, Union Square and SOMA – shooting tickets with great speed and alacrity from their ticket guns- earning that over $90 million revenue in parking tickets for the City.

guys-i-datesdA First Date Tale

In June, Jill from Brisbane agreed to meet Michael R. at the Burger Bar atop Macy’s On Union Square. It was a “first date” therefore,  special.

No one told her it was prom night, free-movie on Union Square night, and the Apple convention. As she blithely approached the City, the traffic came to a grinding halt.  She turned to KCBS 740 AM for the traffic: Nightmare on 101. Too late to try Highway 280.

She sat seething – for one hour- then was advised by her date- he checked – every parking lot around Union Square was ‘full.’ He suggested they meet in Brisbane- free parking, no fuss, and no muss. She liked him already.

Bridge and Tunnelers swarm into the City on weekends. They come wide-eyed and optimistic. They leave – with pockets empty, parking anger on “high” and fed up with the traffic.  Big Buzz kill.

Backup on the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge can be catastrophic.

So there you have it.

The weather sucks, parking is ephemeral, and traffic is like sludge. Other than that, San Francisco rocks!san-fran

Shopping for Chapeaus – the madder, badder hatter wins

Get a hat and get ready for the Kentucky Derby

“Daily Double Shopping for Chapeaus”

Perfecta! Bolt over to the mother of all hat stores, Berkeley Hats, for an exquisite topper – to be worn both for Mother’s Day and for the Kentucky Derby.

Win, Place: Show Off the hat

First and foremost: Get the hat – the bigger, the better. You  will be a fashion Daily Double when you don a new chapeau for the event. Across the board, a big hat (no petite European fascinator need apply) is always a winner. This is where you aspire to be a ‘Mad Hatter.”

Second, research Saturday’s $2.2 million race at Churchill Downs. This year’s Kentucky Derby has been dubbed the ‘Year of the Women’ –even though there are no women jockeys and no fillies running in the actual race.


Finally, get savvy about the over-the-top Derby fashion, the race history, stats and winning horses’ names. An inordinate amount of time leads up to the actual race. So, it’s hours of partying, horse talk and betting, in preparation for the fleeting and mercurial race.

As you sip mint juleps and discuss Daddy Long Legs, Take Charge Indy and Optimizer – Enjoy the longest two-minute race of the year speeds by in HD.

All dressed up and nowhere to go? Check out the Derby Party: Harry Denton‘s Starlight Room Sosh Event. 

(When in San Francisco: Beware the meter maids of the Marina.)

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

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