Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “Bay Area single men”

Her shopping list for Mr Right was too long

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She calles herself “Sexie Sindie.” She is on the lookout for The Perfect Man. She has a shopping list a mile long.

She won’t date a man who has been divorced more than once or who is living in a studio apartment. She doesn’t like cats, dogs, bicyclists swathed in lycra, men who smoke or vegetarians.

She can’t stand men who don’t use the turn signal while driving and will not tolerate any who use their middle finger to display anger. She hates to see a man driving a car with a dog in his lap. Eating donuts is a very big NO. She has been called a “Picky Eater” by friends and foe. She will be in a panic if it isn’t organic. Sugar is her enemy and she loathes all white foods. Her friends marvel at her love for Kale and Quinoa. The two are her staples, she dabbles in organic spinach and cabbage and Pressed Juices. Yes, she is very very thin

 

What she does like: is a single, employed or retired, guy who owns his own house. A pool ( sauna, spa, ) is extra “points.”  Her long list of “Must Haves” reeks of gold-digger.

She admits to her best friends,  her tiny studio apartment, in the beautiful old building, is a “buzzkill” and she never allows a date to enter her private chambers.

Sindie dated Thomas for three months before he gave up trying to make her happy. He wined and dined her. On their 10th date he gave her a Tiffany heart and she offered a polite “Thank you” and later tucked it her her jewelry drawer. She had sold three other Tiffany Heart gifts on eBay. His would be next. She dubbed Thomas “irrelevant” and moved on.    Alone. Single. Searching and very unhappy.

 

“I love being irreverent. But I hate being irrelevant. I love being irreverent because at the end of the day your actions belie your intentions.

Esai Morales

 

Irrelevant

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Déjà Vu – are all Bay Area single men alike?

cropped-photo_378_20051108-1.jpgWho says all the single guys 50+ in Nor Cal are alike?

 Kitty (57, Napa girl, RN, Pastels painter, Zinfandel fan, Scorpio) has been suddenly-single-again, for three years. Not one to waste time- she dabbled in a half-dozen dating sites including: Ourtime, the Right Stuff, JDate, Match.com – and by big mistake, Adult Friend seeker. (Note: avoid any site with the word “Adult” in the title.)

In the beginning, Kitty surmised there were only 5 Types of Single Men:

  1. I’m So Cool and Single: Perpetually playing the field – for decades.
  2. Recently Widowed: Deer in the headlights: seeking a nurse or a purse.
  3. Recently Divorced: Hungry and hunting – not Good-will-hunting. Dating around and getting horizontal and bed hopping was a major goal.
  4. Kind of Separated: A married man –a wanna be playboy – playing the field and claimed to be doing research. His wife didn’t understand him.
  5. Desperately Divorced – cannot adjust to being single and needs someone to cook, clean, iron his socks, and hand him the remote control.

Here Kitty…

 However, after three “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions – we amped up her profile and her pictures (no Selfies, please) and Kitty agreed to take off her cynical shroud and get in the dating game. It is all about attitude.

Turn On Your Filter

 Once cynical and very pessimistic, Kitty met a plethora of playboys and dead-end dates. Why? Perhaps her filtering system was on “low.” She had low expectations and took low-to-minimal time getting to know a date prior to their first meeting. We addressed the importance of taking the time to talk to your potential date. (At 57, Tinder/aka Hook ups Anonymous is not your friend.)

Initial phone calls and emails may not be the Holy Grail – however, they reveal a lot about a person. Asking questions and conversing with a total stranger should last way more than ten minutes.

Ask questions, talk on the phone, email one another a few times. Don’t get caught up in a morass of emails. Remember, jumping to conclusions and blithely dating –anyone- can be a waste of time, money, and tough on the self-esteem.

Be patient and have fun out there.

 

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”

                                             John Quincy Adams

 

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Suddenly SIngle and Perplexed by this New Chapter?
Want to know more about Page Larkin “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions?
Drop me a line at page.larkin@gmail.com
 

 

 

 

 

 

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