Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “50+ dating”

TMI? Online dating profiles – slow down

Too much, too soon, too fast?

Writing an online dating profile – Too much information is a big turnoff

Sally Rand was the most famous fan dancer in the world.

She was the epitome of artful seduction and enticement. The provocative dancer appeared – briefly – on stage and deftly, slowly, swayed to classical music, hinting and flirting. She got big attention with strategic placement.

Sally Rand – her body of work – a parable

Rand was famous for her six-minute act. While bathed in blue light, the temptress stood on the stage, naked, seductively moving two seven-foot-long ostrich feathers in front of her body to the music of Debussy and Chopin. And the crowd went wild – needless to say. Leaving much to the imagination, she was irresistible and exciting. She said, “If you love living, you try to take care of the equipment.” She might have said, “Less is more,” which is the best advice for writing an online dating profile.

imageshatttRule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t tell all. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute is far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. You may be very proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Rule #2. Don’t try this at home

Remember: Quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a fan may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, clubs – wait on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it.

Rule #3. It’s all about you

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing … some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works.

Bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

May you have many fans.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

You, too, can learn how to fan dance.

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Feeling Full Moon madness?


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Top Ten Ways to Have More Fun This Weekend with a full moon

A Full Moon makes some people Change: Get wild,  Get uninhibited, and Embrace the Change

  1. Change your Attitude: Buck up, Binkie, See the Full Moon? Decline the recliner: It’s time to go out and play.
  2. Change your altitude:Go bungee jumping with Icarus  try indoor skydiving, take a helicopter ride; Fly high in a blimp.
  3. Change your Dating site if you feel like you’re bombing out at Eharmony or Match.com try something new: Perfect Match. Try the seven-day free trial before signing up. Free? Cruise Craigslist; some dating clubs (i.e Let’s have Dinner for Six) may cost you $2500 to join – Plenty of Fish and OkCupid are still free, take a peek.
  4. Change your Hair Color- Do blondes have more fun? Ask Liz at Jackson Place Salon she is a colorist and stylist extraordinaire. Need a new hairdo and a new look? Liz is your go-to-girl.
  5. Change your Mind: time to get out of the rut into the groove: go scuba diving or snorkeling, swim with sharks or the famed San Francisco Dolphin’s Feel bullish? Ride a mechanical bull. Try fire-walking, quickly; go white water rafting. Segue into a Segway.
  6. Change your Oil: Do yourself a favor: get thee to Sunset 76 at Noriega /24th Avenue It’s the go-to-place for honest, professional, and efficient service: Smog and oil changes? Hey, it’s got to be done, why not make it easy?
  7. Change your Sandwich: Giordano Brothers –  a bustling North Beach sports bar serves towering Philly style sandwiches stuffed with French fries-  it’s lively, friendly, and fun.
  8. Change your Bridge– Skip the 150,000 people at Outside Lands Music and Arts Festival and go to the Berkeley Trifecta: 900 Grayson  for brunch, Berkeley Bowl for splendid shopping and Uncommon Grounds for great coffee – oh- IKEA is so close.
  9. Change your Happy Hour – It’s all done with smoke and mirror at Smoking Martini Madness South Harbor Waterfront Restaurant and bar in South San Francisco. The very blissful happy hour means  appetizers at 50% off
  10. Change your mood: See the phenomenally entertaining Oakland Intefaith Gospel Choir

Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change – this is the rhythm of living.

Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.     

 Bruce Barton

Top 10 reasons he is going to ask you out again

First and Foremost

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Top Ten Reasons Date #2 is a given…

1. You look exactly like your photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice.”

2. You offered to pay half – you are obviously thoughtful and evolved.

3. You laughed – with each other – a lot. Comfort level established.

4. You both had one drink – hey, first date.

5. They are as tall or taller than you (this may/may not matter)

6.You felt comfortable and at ease with each other

7. You have things in common: similar taste in sports, books, food, movies, dogs, skydiving, etc

8 You both have had ‘challenges’ in life and survived nicely.

9. You each have an “amusing” Internet dating story. And can laugh about it.

10 You both had fun and were relaxed and are looking forward to the next date.

“Women desire men’s desire of them” Freud

Sex on the beach – a 30 year Retro-spective

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When you’re 18, and a boy asks you to go to the beach,   you grab your parent’s Pendleton blanket, dash out the door, and go to the beach. You are probably wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.

In college, when a guy asks you to go to the beach, you pull the blanket off the bed in your dorm room and locate 2 cans of Budweiser beer. You’re probably wearing a sweatshirt with your school logo and jeans.

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In your 20s, when a man asks you to the beach, you grab a tattered quilt from a roommate’s closet, you grab a bottle of Mountain Red, a wedge of brie, a loaf of French bread, two glasses, paper napkins, and your Swiss Army knife. You’re probably wearing an embroidered peasant blouse, your sweatshirt from college and jeans.

In your 30s, when a friend asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, your Swiss Army knife, a decent bottle of Pinot Noir, a small, inspired meal including: a green salad, French lentils, two kinds of cheese, grapes, both crackers and a baguette, cloth napkins, truffle brownies, and you place everything in a well appointed picnic hamper. You are most likely wearing a pair of designer jeans, a T-shirt, a hoodie and a leather jacket.

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In your 50s,when a man asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, you find the sunscreen, your hat, your sunglasses, get a cashmere wrap to go over your cashmere hoodie, pull a great bottle of Copain Pinot Noir from your wine stash, throw together a picnic including an impressive triple cream, imported fig jam, a loaf of that great Acme bread, some of the fabulous Swiss chard with garlic and potatoes and the balsamic vinegar reduction you threw together, melon slices and grapes, two lemon tarts and your Swiss Army knife.

You easily locate the small serving platters, cloth napkins, a tablecloth, two Reidel glasses.

You pluck a rose from your garden and locate that little vase to put it in. Everything fits in the lovely, antique picnic hamper you have had forever. You put the cat out, turn the answering machine on, find that old, worn and comfy sweatshirt from college, slip into your faded pair of jeans and drive over to pick him up.

“For times they are a changing…” Bob  Dylan

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: page.larkin @gmail.com

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