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Archive for the tag “50 and single”

Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the program, Binkie

christmabulb frame__180

Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Chas buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “Favorite Cute Customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Janice  wrote her phone number on the sleeve of his coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

Jack Z in Santa Rosa is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Frank X. buys bags of Hershey kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Valerie in the Marina writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time. Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

Stanley, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to Edward. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Henry, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Lynne R, the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere. Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Don’t miss a single Page Larkin post.Happy New YEAR!

Dating and trick or treating – the same?

night-995191__180Have you noticed: your first date and trick-or-treating

hauntingly similar?

Both require identical preparations and it’s all about wear and where.


Dressing – or selecting a costume- for Trick or Treating on Halloween and for that all-important first date requires an inordinate amount of time. You want to look good and make a statement. You forage through closets and drawers to select the right thing to wear. Women often aim for hauntingly beautiful or the girl-next-door costume. Good advice for guys is to appear like more like a superhero, less like a monster.


Deciding where to go Trick or Treating or for a first date requires that you carefully plan and plot. Both parties agree to meeting in a safe, well lighted neighborhood. You naturally avoid ‘dark and spooky,’ at all costs. You agree upon the perfect witching hour. Your spirits are up, and it’s time! The scariest thing that can happen? You don’t look like your picture. One of you is spooky, kooky or creepy.  Your costume is all-wrong. At the end of the night, you want to think, “Sweet!”  You don’t want to walk away thinking, “What a witch,” or “What a monster,” and return home empty handed.

Remember: A few kisses are good. You want to avoid sours, Nerds, Screaming Yellow Zonkers, Snickers, jawbreakers and gobstoppers.

Relax, enjoy one another and skip the trick, have fun and go straight for the ‘treats’.

Don’t try this at home:  2015 Spookiest Costume: Donald Trump, the Koch brothers, Marco Rubio, Shrimp Boy…

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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The Bore Wars or Top 10 ways to ruin a date

Spelling Game says Help Me

The Top 10 Ways to Ruin a First Date

  1. Arrive late

  2. Fail to apologize for tardiness

  3. Have just eaten loads of garlic

  4. Leave your dark glasses on

  5. Snap your fingers for waiters attention

  6. Monopolize the conversation with your favorite topic: you

  7. Use lewd and lascivious language loudly

  8. Make and take cell phone calls during date

  9. Forget your wallet and ask to borrow $10

  10. Gushing with garlic, upon departure say, “Dude, this has been cool… I’ll call you.  Don’t get your hopes up…”

“There’s no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there’s no excuse for boredom, ever.”

Viggo Mortensen

No L-o-v-e? Facebook says Christmas is break up time

Tis the season to be jolly  HOWEVER, According to Facebook, it’s the War of the Roses time and breaking up is de rigueur.

Research done by the elves at Facebook reveals that Christmastime can be called ‘Merry EX-miss.’

Single and Afraid of Another Silent Night?

Finding yourself suddenly single can make the Christmas holiday a totally new, sometimes unsettling experience. These can be the times that try men’s and women’s souls, stamina, and spirit. 

Business Insider reveals that David McCandless did the due diligence on ‘Yuletide dating and breaking up’ by examining trends on Facebook. Research indicates breaking up at the holiday season is a so-called tradition.

Blue Christmas, indeed. And, you don’t even want to know about Mondays.  Is there really such a thing as Empirical evidence from Facebook? Who says if it’s from Facebook, it’s got to be true?

If your December dilemma

Once you were  half-of-a-couple, now you find yourself flying solo – what do you do? Get off the couch, push away from the computer and go out and play. Wear red. Listen to Christmas carols. Invest in mistletoe and wear a sprig on your lapel or on your hat.  

Scour the San Francisco Chronicle for events, read Marin’s Pacific Sun  for fun events; read Johnny Fun Cheap.

 Say ‘yes’ to every invitation to go out; go dancing; see the beautiful decorations on Union Square; master the art of making latkes; learn the words to ‘Mele Kalikimaka‘; throw a Christmas party – at home, with friends, in a small café or a pub.

Got Dates?

A passel of people (see movie Love Actually) who find themselves in the dreaded  ‘kiss-free mistletoe zone’  actively seek out sweethearts for the season. These pro-active romantics re-up on, Craigslist, Eharmony, or Plenty of Fish.

Follow suit: they smile and say, “Merry Christmas” to everyone – especially at Trader Joe’s, Bryan’s, Safeway and default to jolly and bright.

Some say ‘lose the Santa hat’ and lead with a hearty “Merry Christmas.”

(Don’t waste one minute debating the PC-ness of wishing everybody a “MC”)

And, don’t let a Facebook statistic get in the way of having a holly-jolly holiday.

Your mother was right: Go outside and play!

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

Only five types of men in Single at 50 World?

photo_1ben918_20060901Suzie K  (57, Palo Alto, high school teacher, baker, avid biker, Aires) has been suddenly-single-again for six years. 

She has dabbled in a half-dozen dating sites including: Craigslist, Plenty of Fish,  JDate,, – and by big mistake, Adult Friend Finder. (Avoid any site with the word “Adult” in the title)

She admits to being somewhat jaded and a little cynical- however, she is unwavering in her estimation there are only five types of single men – her age group and her geographical area (Nor Cal) out there. Here is her list:

Slim Pickens By Suzie K: The Five Types of Single Guys

  1.  Mr. I’m So Cool and Single-perpetually playing the field – for decades.
  2. Recently Widowed – deer in the headlights: seeking a nurse or a purse.
  3.  Recently Divorced – hungry and hunting; not Good-will-hunting. Dating around and bed hopping is a major goal.
  4.  Really Only Separated – a married man – wanna be playboy -playing the field- claims to be doing ‘research. ’ His wife doesn’t understand him.
  5.  Desperately Divorced – cannot adjust to being single and needs someone to cook, clean, iron his socks, and hand him the remote control.

Turn On Your Filter

Suzie K is jaded- she has run into a plethora of playboys and dead-end dates. Why? Perhaps her filtering system is on “low” – as in low expectations and low self esteem. Consistently, she spent minimal time getting to know the man prior to meeting. (Hint: Take the time to speak to a potential date on the phone.)

Initial phone calls and emails may not be the Holy Grail – however, they tell you a lot about a person. Asking questions and conversing with a total stranger should last more than five minutes. And, yes, you are going to Google the guy or gal. Why? Because you want to know exactly who you are meeting. A date with a dud or a Lothario is a waste of time.

Ask questions, talk on the phone, email one another a few times. Don’t get caught up in a morass of emails.  Remember, jumping to conclusions and blithely dating –anyone- can be a waste of time, money, and tough on the self-esteem.

Do your homework. And, have fun out there- dating at 50+ should be more fun than trouble.ilove u_-9

Are you suddenly single: divorced, separated, widowed – alone?

happy womanYou only live twice

 Today, a half-million of us are hovering around 50, suddenly single again, and starting a new chapter – whether we are widowed, divorced, retired or just tired – with the kids finally launched…Now is the time: Your Turn. Get ready to take time for you.

Just Do It?

After decades of caring for spouses, bosses, kids, clients, aging parents, volunteering and balancing – all of the above – now it’s your time.  Don’t waste another day.

You want fries with that? Exactly what do you want?

 For some, finding yourself Suddenly Single can be like the heavens opening, choirs of angels singing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, ‎a balloon drop, confetti falling and a cacophony of Veuve Cliquot champagne corks popping.

Others might have a more subdued reaction to finding themselves alone – again – fearing an Eleanor Rigby life.

 Kids, Try this at home: Take a pen and paper; take moment to think, then write-down “The Top 10 Things I Want Right Now.”

Your “I Want Now” List could include a nap, a lover, a dog or a ticket to Miami, Mexico, or Montréal.

 Maybe you want an iPad, a standing/weekly movie date, banishing the grey and going Blonde, a Bunco group, a clean garage or a new pair of Mephistos or Manolo Blahniks. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to go to ‘Sweat Your Prayers’ in Sausalito on a Sunday or Friday night parties at the DeYoung, or to take beginner Tango lessons in Berkeley, or any classes at the Learning Annex. Do it.

Have you wondered where the Andy Goldsworthy art-pieces are in San Francisco are? Find them. Take a tour. Discover Dynamo Donuts Evensong at Grace, Litquake, Bay to Breakers and volunteer someplace fun – like a film festival – not a church. Invite a friend to join you.

Read the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday Pink Section, the Pacific Sun and Johnny FunCheap’s list of events all over the Bay Area. Make a point to do something really fun every week. No holds barred.

Go outside- breathe- walk. Explore San Francisco and all it has to offer.

 If you can dream it – you can write it – put it out there.

 Helga D.  mentioned to her neighbors, just in passing, she wanted a new bike and , bingo – they gave her an older Specialized bike they didn’t use. Brigid told her Pilates buddies she was finally ready to date…slowly and – girls being girls- suggested a guy or two-for her trial dating foray. When Anne P.  was setting up her new newly divorced apartment – she had little or no furniture – Bob and Pam from her school were moving in together –had duplicates of everything and gave her a couch, table, and chairs. Kismet.   

Tell your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances what you are looking for – put it our there – and see what happens.

Then tell me:


Dear Page: Online dating questions: reveal age and weight?


Hey, Page

I’m thinking about starting on Do I really have to reveal my age? I was raised to believe ‘a lady does not reveal and a gentleman never inquires.’ A friend says I have to divulge my real height, weight, age, income, and education. Why would I reveal this information to a total stranger?

Like a Phoenix

Hey, Like a Phoenix

Good question! On some websites you can get by with a glib “we can talk about this later.” You’re absolutely right, there is no reason to divulge certain information. Your income or your religion – other topics- may be very personal. Your age and weight- will be very obvious when you meet your dates. Be sure to post current photographs of yourself.



Dear Page,

Help! I am brand-new at online dating and I am and lost.  Last week I signed up for Our Time dating.  So far I’ve been contacted by a man with a picture of him sitting on a mule, a man 20 years my senior and another guy claims his ‘best friend is Jesus.’ Another guy who is exactly 1 foot shorter than I am- that makes him 5 feet and I’m 6 feet tall. What am I doing wrong?

Nancy Newbie

Dear Nancy,

Whenever you sign up for new dating site, be sure to specify how far you are willing to travel to meet someone, list your interests, and specificy  age range and height, education level preferences– if that is important.

At first blush, a great looking guy who is 6’, who lives in New York City, might seem attractive, however chances for you, (in San Bruno)  meeting for an impetuous cup of coffee, going for a hike, or a picnic or anything else, are slim to none.

Take the time to be perfectly clear on how far you want to travel, the qualities you’re looking for in a date, and indicate if you have religious preferences (or have no interest in Bible-thumper-fundamentalists.) Good luck- let me know how your fare.


Hello, Page Larkin,

My brother (45) recently came out of the closet, ended his 20-year marriage and is having a dizzying new social life. His shell-shocked wife has decided she wants to go online and start dating. Which dating website would be good for her?

A friend Indeed

Hello, A friend Indeed,

First of all, joining an online dating site after a nasty divorce or separation is not a healthy transition. Indicating that your friend is shell-shocked is a clear indication that she needs therapy, time, and solace. Remember: rushing into dating after a trauma is not great idea. You would much better serve her if you listened to her and politely urged her to get professional help.

Peace and Patience,


Hi Page

I just met Henry (retired, handsome, financially stable) who is perfect, except for one thing. He says his sciatica requires medical marijuana and he grows his own. He has a green house full of thriving plants. I quickly learned not to talk to him after 9 o’clock – as he is loopy. Do I ditch him or stick with him?

Mary Jane

Dear Mary Jane,

You pose a difficult question. Some would advise you to take a look at a 12-step program and take it from there. You might be quite disappointed-if push came to shove- your new beau chose to spend time with his green plants and not you.

Good luck,


Exit Sign

Got time? You’ll need it for EHarmony

After years of being married to Mr. or Mrs. Wrong and the ensuing divorce, many of us quickly sign up for Internet dating. Inspired by those romantic EHarmony ads on TV, we bite.

NOTE:  15,000 People Complete Infamous Questionnaire Daily
It can take in excess of 90 minutes to complete the extremely long questionnaire: comprised of 426 seemingly inane questions covering “29” dimensions. Who knew there was life after the Fifth Dimension?
Finally, you pay the  hefty $70 for a one-month membership.
EHarmony claims the quality of the service and that new-fangled “sophisticated matching algorithm” and unique personality analysis, are so worth it. You be the judge.

 Good News- Bad News

After signing up,  you receive an analysis of your personality and a description of your “perfect mate.”Okay, most of us are seduced by flattery and EHarmony will send pages of prose extolling your virtues. You may be honest, loyal, and steadfast like a Boy Scout. Or eclectic, eccentric and exceptionally unusual. To say EHarmony paints with a broad brush only begins to describe the way they analyze your attributes. Bottom line? We all want to see a long list of perfect match -Prince or Princess Charmings.

From all the TV ads, couples evidently connect at breakneck speed. There seemed to be a lot of happily- ever- after- going on, right?

sad man  Hurry Up and Wait …

Then, much to your chagrin, you learn what the term ‘glacially slow’ means.    A glacier moves one tiny fraction of a millimeter of an inch every several thousand days – just like EHarmony.    Okay, so the exact glacier mass measurements are fiction — but the fact that EHarmony is slow is pure fact.

It’s incredibly, mind numbingly, slow. Be prepared to wait, for a very long time.


Just like Christmas Morning?

Annie, an ‘EHarmony Escapee’ and one of the Yoga Babes said this about her so-called Perfect Matches:

“One man lived 95 miles away and was three inches shorter than I am in my stocking feet. Next, Lauren, a cattle rancher near Reno liked chess and NASCAR.  Me? Not so much. He was 14 years older than I am. Next, Frank of Santa Rosa (doesn’t anybody live in San Francisco?) was a pilot, a triathlete and made his own beer. Granted, I have a preconceived notion about triathlons and I won’t try an athlete who trains 20 hours a week. I want a guy who likes to walk on the beach, not swims to Alcatraz; I like taking a leisurely ride through Golden Gate Park; not at breakneck speed.

The final ‘exact match’, or so they claimed, was Roland from Fresno. He liked cigars, port, his Bible and his six greyhounds- dogs, not buses. My allergies kicked in, just reading his profile. We didn’t have one thing in common.
So, what I hoped would be like ‘Christmas morning’ was more like three lumps of coal. I quit after one month of disappointment.    I’m now on and happier with the results.”

Worth a Try?

One size does not fit all and, yes, there are tens of thousands of very happy members on EHarmony. The website   is a treasure trove of opportunities: you can order flowers, Fandango tickets, buy insurance, and, yes even prescription drugs; there are pages and pages of pretty mild dating advice. Seriously. It may be a perfect fit and first step for your lifestyle and expectations.

Don’t miss the ever-optimistic EH Project Wedding site.

Bottomline: You don’t know what you like until you’ve done some research. Try new avenues, new techniques and new dating sites. Most important? Be sure to have fun on the quest.

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Vincent van Gogh

Like Playing ping pong underwater

Try Discounts Here

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach

and dating docent offers

The  3-hour Inspired Dating Workshop

Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving”

in San Francisco

Saturday, 10 AM to 1 PM

  • Cost: $85
  • Limit: 16 to a class (SOLD OUT)
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (more information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

Spring time in the City – 3 great dates

Spring has sprung and, yes, Virginia,                                                                                                        there is more to a great date than just ‘Dinner and  a Movie.’

The Bay Area has no shortage of fun, unusual, diverse hot spots…

The depths and doldrums of winter inspire you to appreciate the more sublime aspects of springtime: warm weather, blue skies, sunshine, and acres of tulips, daffodils and cherry blossoms. Pack away your black sweaters, fleece jackets, pants and pull on pastels. Now is the time for white – everything.

#1.  The Clement Street Crawllet_them_eat cake_7

Everyone talks about Burma Star – and for good reason – fabulous food – super service and overall a delicious experiences. Long Lines – a bummer…Plan oncoming back – not on a weekend at Brunch…and note the plethora of Burmese restaurants popping up all over Clement and Geary…

Start your day at the very popular and delicious Q. Restaurant. Have a mimosa and wait for your table. Vitamin C never tasted so good. After a remarkable meal there, start your journey. No one can be on Clement Street without stopping at the famous Green Apple Bookstore. It has to be one of the top three, best independent, bookstores in all of California.

Continue on your merry way and walk the full-length of Clement St. to the Legion of Honor Treasures form the Louvre, wander the hollowed halls and drink in the diverse, exquisite art. There is a lovely little café downstairs.

Next, hike around the breathtakingly beautiful Land’s End. Grab a 38 Geary bus back. Check out the movie schedule at the unique independent, Balboa Theater or hit the Kabuki Springs and Spa for a massage or ritual steam, dip, and shower.   Hungry on Balboa? Don’t miss the sublime Balboa Teriyaki  3536 Balboa – 751-8895 – pretty good/well priced  sushi, bento boxes, and “rolls.”

#2.  The San Francisco Walking Tour:  Embarcadero and North Beach

Meet at the Ferry Building and choose from the embarrassment of riches: create a picnic from the delectables found at the Farmer’s Market. Start by walking the full-length of the Embarcadero towards North Beach. At Powell street, turn left, walk to Washington Square tuck in to  your yummy picnic.

Feeling energized? Walk up to Coit Tower for one of the best ‘Views of the Bay’ in the area. (Research the fabulously wealthy and eccentric  Lillie Hitchcock Coit)

End the day with a glass of bubbles at the Top of the Mark Hopkins and make plans for the evening.

#3 Getting Nautical 

Take the Larkspur Ferry from San Francisco, sit outside and bask in 30 blissful minutes of water, land and sky; upon arrival, walk across the huge parking lot to the “Larkspur Landing Shopping Center” You can explore and hike the quarry, Sip one of a dozen brews at the Brew Pub… grab a yoga class, visit 24-Hour Fitness or get lost in Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Dining choices runs from really great beers to Three Twins Ice ream, the new and very popular Bel Campo, Miette…and a dozen other options. Sunday brings a parade of Food Trucks…

Yes, the Larkspur movie theater is steps away or you can catch a Marin /Golden Gate Transit bus and spend the day exploring beautiful Marin County. 

Happy Spring!

See An Ideal Saturday in San Francisco

It’s “Spring Fever.” That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Hey, Santa! The 200 words women want to hear

Santa Baby,

we need to talk.

Listen to this: reports indicate, every day, women say 1000 more words than male counterparts.

We can talk about this, if you like.

Men are way less loquacious – and they talk less, too

A random poll recently conducted at Curves, a nail salon, an OB-Gyn office and a leading yoga studio revealed:


Top 200 Words that Women Would Most Like to Hear Are:

1. Merry Christmas, the  little blue box is for you.

2. You are beautiful; those jeans make you look so thin and sexy.

3. How was your day? You’re brilliant. Hugs.

4. Here, darling, a couple of credit cards. Take them – go on a shopping spree. You deserve it. Macy’s  is having a huge sale.

5. Can I draw you a bath? Let me wrap all the presents.

6. Of course, I’d love to watch a chick flick on the couch with you. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ or “Serendipity”?

7. Forget the 49’ers. Let’s go walk at the beach.

8. I just called to say ‘I love you.’ Did you find the flowers I left on the doorstep?

9. You’re the greatest. Babe, sit down, watch your Soaps, I taped them for you; I’ll do the dishes.

10. I’ve got mistletoe! You and me? Away in the manger?

11. Hark! Do you hear what I hear? The kids are asleep.

12. You’re an incredible woman (wife, mother, best friend) I missed you and vacuumed the house.

Listen, women may tend to be loquacious, voluble and talkative; we have a lot to say.

A savvy Santa is perceptive and sage.

Spice up your life with the Top 200 Words Women Want to Hear.

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