Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “50 and single”

Top 10 Reasons you will go on the second date

You meet for the First Date (aka the Check Each Other Out Event)          

It could last twenty minutes or four hours – depending on the Chemistry.

What makes a first date magic? These Top 10 components:

1. You look exactly like your photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice” (Big points.)

2. You offered to pay half – you are thoughtful, evolved, and gracious.
3. You laughed – with him – a lot. Actual comfort level established.
4. You had one drink – and so did he. C’est fini.
5. He is taller – or as tall as you are –  if that matters. One day you realize, it doesn’t!
6. He weighs more than you do – if that matters… (See above)
7. You both attended  a.) University   b.) high school     c.) Jr  College  or  d.) trade school. What is your comfort level?

8.)  You both read a.) newspapers   b.) blogs   c.) books   d.) best sellers    e) any/ all of the above.
9. You each have an amusing Internet dating story and share.
10 You enjoyed one another, both had a fun time,  were relaxed and are looking forward to the next date.

Conversely

Top Ten Reasons You

Might Agree to a Second Date

1. He looks exactly like his picture

2. Height and Weight and Age are accurate.

3. He arrives by car, bus, train not on a Harley.

4. Manners: He holds the  door open for you, walks into the cafe after you.

5. You Match – He, too reads the same genre, attends same events you do, likes the same sports teams… or is open to do so.

6. Postively: During the entire date you never hear one Ex-Bashing Story.

7. Funny: You  both laugh – a lot.

8. Common Pages: You both like a.) newspapers  b.) blogs  c.) books  d.) best sellers e.) one of the above

9. Experiences: You each have an amusing Internet dating story

10. The Finale: You both had fun and were relaxed and are looking forward to the next date. Ta Da!

 




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Top 10 Places to Meet Women in San Francisco

photo_1875_20060814Where do you meet women in San Francisco?

Here are The Top 10 Places to Meet Women…

1. Say “Yes, yes, yes!” to any World Series, March Madness Events, Golf Tournaments party, Wine Tastings event, gathering celebration. 

2. Trader Joe’s,  Sunday from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m… (and Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday) Cue: ask a question – have you tried this cheese? wine? do you know how to pick out great apples? Smile at her.

3. Lectures: At the Herbst Theatre, JCC, USF, the Commonwealth Club, Litquake in October, Film festivals, World Affairs Council, etc.

4. SF JAZZ: Music, Restaurant, Bar – Get it?  So obvious – it speaks volumes.

5. Yoga classes: Hold on-Hands down, this has to be the best place to meet women, odds are generally 10 women to 1 guy… and women have a soft spot in their hearts (or soles ) for a guy who happens to wander into a yoga class. Do a little research and find beginner classes and start there. You will  thank me.

6. Bookstores: Hey, it’s where we hang out. Note: 67% of all books are sold to Single Women. You do the math.  We like to talk. Ask a question: “Is this author any good?”  or”Do you like ____?”  Remember: It all begins with a word…and a smile. 

7. Cupcake Shops: Okay, sweetie, so we indulge. Sit down, have a cup of coffee and engage.  Best question to ask? Try  “Which is your favorite?” or   “I want to buy my mom (sister, landlady, buddy)  a treat- what you suggest?”

8. Peet’s: women of a certain age preferred Peet’s over Starbucks and eschew Formica tabletops

9. Wine Shops: (Beltrammos, BevMo, Wine Impressions, etc ) Aren’t we all looking for the same thing? A decent Pinot noir and a bon soir? Women flock to Wine tastings…

10. On the Street:   In the elevator, walking into the store, in the well lit, safe, busy, parking lot, on the 38 Geary, after the movie,  at Ocean Beach, at the Sports Basement,  at church,  at dim sum, at Cafe Trieste, sampling at See’s,    wandering the aisles of Safeway, the farmers market, at Best Buy or the DMV …at the library….At any of the 3 the Andy Goldsworthy secret spots…in the waiting room…

Every single day – there are multiple opportunities to say: Hi, Hey, hello…

and the best line ever: Don’t I know you? ” (Yes, Really – the best line ever scripted)

 Guys, here’s a little secret... you might be happy with Sunday/Monday Night football, March Madness,  Golf, Nascar, and the myriad sport shows that are on every day on every channel… However,  girls, not so much.

After the World Series: Push away from the TV and go outside.

Now, get out there and play!



All the Single Girls on Valentines Day






All the single girls!

On Valentine’s Day, all the single girls celebrate life, wear red, send Valentines cards and wishes to pals, friends, beaus, wanna be beaus, and embrace all that is well in their world.

Jennifer broke up with Michael on February 10th. Her roommate said, “Oh, no! Now you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day!”

Jennifer replied, “I would rather spend the day alone than spend one more minute with that jerk. He was the most immature, self-centered, handsome, rich, loser I’ve ever dated. I am totally ready to meet somebody new!”

When asked what she was doing on February 14,Georgia replied she was going to her favorite yoga class,  then going out for Chai and Chat with a bunch of her friends from class. She was happy.

Lynne has very hot, red boots that she dons every “Feb 1-4.”And she wears a short black skirt over silky red blouse, just because. She loves chocolate, flowers, Valentines, and shares all of the above with friends and close office mates. She organizes the “Feb 1-4 Cocktails” after-work gathering every year. Everyone must wear red.

Kimi, on the other hand,single again and perpetually on the prowl, professes Happy Hour on Valentine’s Day is the best day to score free kisses. Unfortunately, years ago, she was cute and boys liked her…divorces and time can take a toll. A 20- something asking for a kiss versus a 40-something asking for a kiss is light-years apart. Cougar is a good descriptor. Poor Kimi.

Gayle (39 again)opines that all the good ones are taken and there are no good men.Frankly, she’d rather binge on The Last Kingdom on Netflix with her two good friends: Ben and Jerry.

Anne met Ted in an elevatorand they chatted for 50 floors and spontaneously agreed to have a drink. They clicked. She loved the whole, tall, dark, handsome thing with the great suit that he had going on. Bonus: no wedding ring. He found her very alluring and available. Well into their third drink, he admitted that he had a wife at home. Things were not that great. Their marriage was rocky. He said he was unhappy.

She backed off prontito.

As he walked her to her car, they held hands, he kissed her good night. Several times. She couldn’t help herself: she was smitten. Devil may care.

The story goes-he called her two weeks later-they met for drinks on Nob Hill just to talk. One thing led to another and they have had infrequent trysts for two years. She waits for his calls.

Anne’s new therapist told her she was wasting time and sexy energy on a dead-end-dude. All the time she was waiting by the phone, she could be madly in love / lust with a single, available man with no strings and a lot of integrity. It was a lightbulb moment. Anne’s friend had criticized her and advised her. It all fell on deaf ears. That one appointment was a turning point. Anne dropped Ted like a ton of bricks.

Yes, she admitted to being depressed, alone and lonely. She also felt ready to think about The Real Thing. And was open to meeting her Dream Guy.

Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

Date Bait: Want to hook a honey for Christmas? Best Match.com on

Merry Merry – and she got married…

Suddenly Single... Minded

Patty W. lives in Pasadena and was single/again for two years befor she signed up for Match.com

In a flight of fancy, she filled out the online dating questionaire and in a short while,( read: one week)  she met the Love of Her Life. Yes, Binkie, it happens.

Patty in Pasadena

Hi. I am happy and positive, sensual, physically fit, passionate about life and very self-assured. Friends describe me as open, thoughtful and caring with an empathy for others.

You want and truly value a partner who is loyal and can be there for you, in all ways, and support your needs as well as your own. 
You’re active, attractive, eager to explore, intellectually curious and like to play. 
 
You have a busy and engaged life you love, but want a partner and best friend to share the highs and the lows with, and to grow together. You love…

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Men at 50 – confused and crazed by women at 50?

sad-man
Inquiring Men Want to Know
: This week brings questions from men about serial dating, flirting and frustration. I endeavor to answer the questions as best as I can. Send your questions, queries, and quibbles to page.larkin@gmail.com

 

Dear Page

My friends say I’m like the guy in the movie Network who screams “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I’m really frustrated. I have been on three different dating sites in three years. No luck. I keep meeting women who send old photos, who lie about their age and smoking and who don’t seem to have an Emotional IQ   Is it me?

Just like Peter Finch

Dear Just Like Peter Finch,

While nobody said it was going to be easy, online dating should be fun, at best. Sorry to hear about your tribulations. Don’t give up.  Be more direct in your profile stating an interest in self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, and the ability to love. Try again.

Peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m 63, retired, divorced, healthy and look and feel the best ever. My new girlfriend is 55 and  hot. There is one drawback: she’s what you call a serial dater. She’s a gal with the ‘kennel of doggie bags’ in the refrigerator. She goes out almost every night- not with me. She is only free on Wednesday nights. Am I wasting my time?

Berkeley Bob

Dear Berkeley Bob,

If you are “girlfriend” is dating three other men each week, sit down; she’s just not that into you. She is obviously playing the field and, Bob, you’re not on her roster. It’s time to move on, and try greener pastures-you deserve better.

Peace, Page

Hey, Larkin,

I read your piece about ‘Men are like Champagne.’ Well, my experience says women are like eels. You can’t get a handle on them and they get away.

Morgan Hill Mike

Hey, Morgan,

Good point. There are 1 million stories ‘in The Dated City’ and just as many metaphors. Following the whole fishing metaphor: I’d say the more lines you put in the water, the better your luck. See: Dating 101: Catch and Release. Have fun out there. Remember, online dating is a number’s game – and you have to get in the game to win.

Peace, Page

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click, click, Click the Subscribe button.photo_2787_20070814

 

Buyer Beware: Kooks on Craigslist

Today, Craiglist Announced the Closure of CL Personals 

Bravo.  Many Whackos lurked there….

Beware the Freaks on CL Personals

It’s  too early  for April Fool’s gags – however, look at these random Craigslist postings.

Buyer beware.

Granted, times are tough and the tough-to-take seem to be hanging around the

Craigslist water-cooler.

Here is a random sampling from recent San Francisco ‘Men Looking for Women’ age 50- 60 category.

  •         Nice looking guy in search of a lady with a pool in the San Rafael area for the summer.    Get back to me.
  •         I am married, in an open relationship, due to lack of interest…Is this you, also?
  •         I love dogs, cats, and horses, and  critters; like garage sales, flea markets, collect neat old stuff. Interested?
  •        My last girl friends were great, but apart from sex, we had nothing in common.
  •         I live on Social Security and that’s it. I’m not rich, I just want someone cool and lady like.
  •          Almost 5’9′, 210 pounds with wavy hair would like to find a very petite or slim (or at least HWP) ordinary housewife, or working mother, who wonders how it would feel to be with a strange man just once.
  •         Need a girlfriend and you need a boyfriend. I’m attached, but have plenty of free time.
  •         Semi-perfect sensualist wants to play Adam & Eve with a thorny thinker.
  •        I’m 70. Want to be the granddaughter I never had? Let’s go out to dinner and on little shopping trips. Come to my place and watch movies or study for school. I used to teach college.
  •          Currently attached WM (5’4″, 160, nice looking) wants to meet a married or single woman.
A warning sign for the public

Fact: “Attached Men” are the epitome of a Dead Dnd. Avoid at all costs.

Fact: Goofy Grandpa claims to have taught college. Really? (U. of Hard Knocks?) and is strange, kooky and spooky. How is it, an overweight guy (admittedly a strange man)  is seeking a petite, ordinary housewife? What is an ordinary housewife? Aren’t all housewives extraordinary?

On the Other Side of the Ledger

Men who write Craigslist posts like the following may be besieged   with emails responses:

  • Want to make some music together? I live on a steady diet of foreign films; I like to cook on week ends and skate in Golden Gate Park. Earl Thomas  at Biscuits and Blues is high on my list of great blues and fun things to do every month. I also like John Coltrane. And dark chocolate.
  • Me? Sensitive, romantic, well spoken. I have great table manners and I like to go out on the town. Prefer quiet old-school restaurants that are not too noisy. My friends say I am a great cook.. I love to dance and take walks on any beach, anytime.In the Sierras, I will  jump into mountain lakes. What about you?

It is better to err on the side of caution than to be cavalier.

So: Caveat Emptor: use caution, use the delete button, seek out “good guys” and check out other authentic dating sites.

“The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and must therefore be treated with great caution.”

 J.K. Rowling

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

 

The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of adventure. Next!

Love, Page

Hey Page,

Two weeks ago, I met a man on line. His photos were all taken from a distance. He says he is divorced and 49. I’m 44. After a bunch of e-mails, he said, “Let’s get together for coffee,” but he couldn’t meet me if it was raining.  Huh? Everything seemed normal up until that comment. Who doesn’t go out in the rain?                      Wondering in Washington

Hey Wondering in Washington,

Not a hair-brained question. The song: “Raindrops keep dropping on my Toupee comes to mind. A so-called Fair weather friend ~ from Date #1  may be a waste of time. Next!   Love, Page

Hey, Page,

What’s the best book I can buy to understand what men are thinking. I used to know the dating game – now, I am totally confused.

Beginners Luck in Burlingame

Hey, Beginners Luck,

…good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tips

The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You.

Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book. This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read. Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  Tip

Love, Page

hat and glases1

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

All reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the program, Binkie



Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Calvin buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “Favorite Cute Customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Barista Kelly wrote her phone number on the sleeve of “his” coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

Pat M. in Concord is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Frank X. buys bags of Hershey Kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Patsy S in the Medford  writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time.

Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

George, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to George. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Henry, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Lynne R, the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

LOVE 27
Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere.

Not Just for Christmas

Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin post.

Happy New YEAR!

Going out on a ReDate?

The ReDate…also referred to as a Déjà vu date is a new dating phenomenon             and everyone is doing it.

Well, not everybody – however, a casual poll conducted this week indicates 85% of those queried would seriously consider   ReDating  a person they once dated…
Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and a ‘second chance at love’.

Webster might define a ReDate as “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach, disappear, and slip away. There are a million stories in the dated city.   The concept of a ReDate introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were to rash, at first blush. If at first you don’t succeed, ReDate.

George  has been called a ‘Perpetual Bachelor’ and a bon vivant… His iMac, Little Black Book and Rolodex are filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.  He has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.  He said, “ReDating is like a romantic breakthrough where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to connect, again. ReDate.”

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of pictures and profiles on the Online Dating Sites is like a stroll through a never-ending buffet line ~ too much fluff – a whole lotta jello, empty carbs and empty suits, loads of sweets with not enough content, depth or reality.    The problem: there is such a wide assortment, it stultifies.

Both men and women get overwhelmed, minds get muddled, hearts go thump in the night. Right? Mistakes are made ~ and we all think about the one who got away.

The answer: ReDate. Give it a try, again.

You MAE go WEST, young man


The Best: Mae West Quotes

Mae West was witty, ribald, risque and naughty. She was also very smart.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

  • A hard man is good to find.
  • A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.



A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
 kiss

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

valentines-flash-box-990
Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

  • He who hesitates… is a damned fool.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.




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