Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Where are all the guys?

Inspired by the Invitation: Tini, Melanie, Helen, Mary and Dixie put on thier party dresses and heels and headed to the Singles Party in Marin County at the hotel.

 The Senior Singles Party promotion promised a rousing  50/50 Male and Female Mix

As the women entered the hotel, they saw dozens of women – all dressed up and ready to party – a large registration area and bouquets of red, heart-shaped  balloons. There was not a man to be seen. Checking watches, they concluded they were not too early and wondered about the male component.

Minutes later, four men strangled in – a sea of Tommy Bahama shirts and kakhi pants. The appeared to know the organizers and put on their name tags and smiles. Then they mingled. Shills or Singles?

30 Single Women showed up that Sunday afternoon and only a Dozen Men.             The ladies were entertained by the more aggressive femme fatales who went after the men like there was no tomorrow. There were no cat fights…however, there was some jockeying for position and Trump-like pushes to the front of the line.

Not amused, not happy: The five ladies insisted upon refunds on the spot and wandered over to the San Rafael Civic Center Farmer’s Market where, every Sunday is party.

Page Larkin Consults: We met for a two-hour session on “Men and Dating at 50, 60, and 70?”

In additon to candor, there was much laughter and a swell of renewed interest in Meeting a Few Good Men.

They are on the look out…stay tuned for results.

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All names have been changed to protect the Suddenly Single.

 

Revelation

The demand to be loved, Binkie?

“Hug me, kiss me, love me!”

“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche

Molly the Millennial whined it was “hard” dating and then really a challenge being in a relationship. She said it was “Super hard to share and to be around someone all day and all night long.”

Listen up, Babycakes – you are not ready for a big-girl relationship.

Long-term relationships are sublime and wonderful. Having a partner – a playmate- a sounding board – a companion, a lover and a best friend to share the Joy! the fun, challenges and ups and downs all day and all night, is the best.

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Having someone to hold hands with is one of the best things ever. Walking across Fifth Avenue, Champs Elysees, the PCH, the Golden Gate Bridge or into a wedding, a funeral or party and having a loving partner is not only reassuring, calming, gratifying- it is  exciting.

Yes, Binkie, you might have to share a closet, a bed, a bathroom and your deepest fears and secrets. Having somebody who thinks you are the best thing since Brioche French toast with butter and real maple syrup is a happy thing.

(Psst! There is really  no need to get into the “getting horizontal” aspect a long term relationship.)

When you’re ready, my little Millennial, you’ll be ready.

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Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love that makes the world go round.

Lewis Carroll

 

Are you flirting with me? Top 3 clues

Beware The Dead End Date – Read this, Binkie

Suddenly Single... Minded

Top Three Most Obvious Signs of Flirting:

Men (50+) who find themselves ‘suddenly single’ and back in the dating arena- admit to being very confused.

They say they are perplexed by single women and the dating scene – again – in 2013.  They ask if there are new rules.  Men want to know how you tell if a woman is actively flirting or just plain friendly?

Are there specific clues or behaviors that a woman is being playful and coy or acutely not interested? Yes! If a smile, winks, blinks, nods, and signs bewilder you- here are three obvious signs of flirting

Remember: Treat all positive interactions (smiles, nods, waves) as a bona fide flirt.

Sign #1: What’s in a Name? Flirting females frequently use your name in conversation. FYI: This is a very subtle attention getting device. Everyone likes to hear his or her name, right? Listen, carefully and…

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Are you a 2-Timer? Do you Rate a Second Date?

Do You Rate a Seond Date? Read this:

Suddenly Single... Minded

golden-gate-bridge-691925__180We all do it. We wonder, mull, ponder and dwell on it.

We dissect our dates and thoroughly analyze them. Every minute

 Eve is probably the only woman in history who didn’t worry about the competition.

Are  you bewitched, bothered and bewildered wondering if  the first date went well and if he will ask you out again? Do an instant replay.

While a scorecard isn’t necessary, there are some very definite clues.

Here they are: The Top 10 Reasons He Will Ask You Out Again

1. You look exactly like your current, up to date, photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice”.

2. You offered to pay half – you are obviously thoughtful and evolved.

3. You both laughed and share a similar sense of humor. Obvious comfort level established.

4. You had one drink – and so did he. Both on very good behavior…

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Dating: Eharmony- like a kayak or the Titanic?

Online Dating: Life Preserver required?

Suddenly Single... Minded

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Cyndi moved to San Francisco and jumped on the EHarmony boat expecting a Crystal Cruise experience,
replete with fascinating men, sparkling conversations, interesting destinations and a whole lot of fun.

 She navigated through the rough waters of the horribly long application of questions, quizzes, and essays. Two hours later, she was ready to sail into the sunset with one of the 15,000 people who fill out the infamous Eharmony questionnaire every day.

After she paid the boarding fee of $60 – a slow dribble of so-called ‘Matches’ appeared in her mailbox.

Like a kid on Christmas morning, she metaphorically ripped off the trappings of trivia: she scanned photos, checked for geographic closeness, education, marital status and interests. That first morning she came up with lumps of coal.

 Abandon Hope All Ye Who Eharmonize?

She thought a man who paraded his ‘Career and Harvard Law’ in the first sentence smacked…

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Dating: Swan Dive or Belly Flop?

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MerryKay really wanted to fall in love again.

She signed up for Plenty of Fish, OKCupid and Craigslist Singles. No Luck: Zip, zero, nada. She said she  had been kissing a lot of frogs and wanteded to meet her Prince Charming.

She made the big mistake of hiring a so-called Matchmaker and went on three dates with totally incompatible men in three months and lost the $3000 she paid upfront.

Tired of failure, she decided to try a new tact. She signed up for Speed Dating at a downtown hotel. Like a Girl Scout, Prepared, she had five questions to ask the men across the table:

1. Tell me about your best friend.
2. Tell me about you very worst job.
3. What was your very first car?
4. What was your best job?
5. Tell me about your family and where you grew up.

One guy said she sounded like a cop, another laughed at her and told her to “Relax.” The third guy got up and walked away. Defeated and dejected she crumpled the list and just smiled when the next man sat down. He took out his list of questions and interviewed her.

She had good answers. He was lost and adrift after he posed the queries and just sat there looking at his hands…

She hurried away from Speed Dating. Never to return. Next!

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Adrift

New at the Dating Game? So is this lady

Caught in the World Wide Web
of laughs, lines, and libertines
And, this ain’t no Charlotte’s Web

Dear Page,

I am one to peruse Match.com on occasion – okay, twice a day -whether I need to or not.
I have grown accustomed to his smiles. You know – the smiles of the guys in the 40 to 50 year old range.

That’s my milieu, 40-50…Match advises a decade age span to best attract the future date of the month.
If I were to listen to Rayella, in my yoga class, I would subscribe to her theory that all guys on the WWW lie.
She said, “None of the men online are the age they claim to be” She said, “All of them use photos from years ago.”
Antique photos?

No, no, say it isn’t so…
I dismissed her pessimism and attributed that dour point of view to her curly red hair and whiny personality…
in addition, she is a size 2, you know what that means-what could she possibly know?

An optimist, and new at the new scene for singles, I hopped aboard the Fun Train of Internet dating and before I could memorize my new password, 27 men had looked me over and 16 had winked at me.

Well, maybe it was a blink. Could be a nervous twitch. So I started winking, blinking, nodding.The conundrum, is -Socrates asked it first – (Frosh year philosophy)
What is truth?

On my virgin voyage on Craigslist – I posted a flirty ad.  I met a  man who fianlly admitted he was married (instantly declared null and void)

met one playboy /one dating dabbler, and some very angry people.

…and then were the 40 yr olds and the 65 year olds and then the “photo only” types, the “hit and runs” – mean and caustic remarks posted and then they vanish sans backbone.

I thought: It’s got to get better. And it did. Although, not online.

Best to all of us singles in this quest.

I doff my cap -and quoff my cafe latte – to all those enterprising men and women out there – skating through life – skating on the thin ice of internet dating…

Gina in Burlingame

Dear Gina in Burlingame,

I love this Steve Jobs quote about starting over- see if it fits for you.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.   Steve Jobs

Deja vu all over again? Dating today and Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra- the Wit – half th time – Enjoy!

Suddenly Single... Minded

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Was it Mr. Malaprop himself, Yogi Berra, who said, “It’s not how you play the game; it’s all about scoring”?

Kathy, the Pilates Princess of Burlingame, revealed that she was striking out with the men floating around the Internet. She said she kept running into men with an interest in scoring and zero interest in commitment or relationships. Her goal this Merry month of May  is to sign up on a new dating site. She wants to improve her dating chances by trying a new ‘niche-dating site.’

There are hundreds of dating sites to choose from — you’ll see sites for every hobby, club, interest, age, race, color and creed.

As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” If you have made too many “Wrong mistakes,”

Here are five unique ‘niche-dating sites’ you might want to take a swing…

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friends jealous of your success in love?

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Dear Page Larkin,
I have been a fan of your column for over five years. Thanks to you, I got back in the dating game and followed your guidelines. Slowly but surely, I started having the time of my romance life.
At first, I did that cafeteria dating, I just picked what “looked good.” Eventually, I got serious. I’ve met some very interesting, wonderful guys.

Two years ago, I met the love of my life, thanks to following your tips.
My problem is this: three people at work watched me and noticed my success- and want me to teach them everything I know.
Naturally, I told them to read your column. None of them have done so, they want me to do the heavy lifting for them: write their profiles, do the research and help them. They are like Cling-ons. Yuck. Right now I’m in the world of romance, I have no interest helping them. What do you think?
Madly in love in Milpitas

Dear Madly in love in Milpitas,
What great news! So glad you found the love of your life. It happens! Everyday…
With regards to your ”friends”- you were very wise to step aside and step away.
It takes energy, drive, time and conviction to get back in the dating game.
You are correct, they need to do the heavy lifting. Why not suggest they sign sign up for my Dating 101 Workshop? The four- hour workshop is a swift kickstart for singles who want to enter the wide world of dating – and may be shy or reluctant.

Contact me: Page.larkin@gmail.com

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Confused Single Men & a Few Good Women?

The Manly Men Confused by a Really Good Thing….

Suddenly Single... Minded

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This week’s mail brought letters about Single Guys who don’t know how good they have it.

Dear Page Larkin,

Help! Our brother (divorced, 59, executive, thinks he is a ladies man) drives us crazy. In the last five years we watched him date, Dumb and Dumber, Clueless, The Jerk, and Tammy.

He recently met a very nice woman- about his age, successful, smart, and fun; everyone likes her. She has her own company; and what she sees our brother, we don’t know.

However, they’ve been dating for a few months-and he just started complaining that she left a couple of things at his house. The guy went ape over a water bottle! How do I tell my brother he’s darn lucky to be dating this Perfect 10?

Concerned Sister in Los Gatos.

Dear Concerned Sister Los Gatos,

You’re a good sister to care so much. ItIs sounds like…

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