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Archive for the category “Single Men in San Francisco”

The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of adventure. Next!

Love, Page

Hey Page,

Two weeks ago, I met a man on line. His photos were all taken from a distance. He says he is divorced and 49. I’m 44. After a bunch of e-mails, he said, “Let’s get together for coffee,” but he couldn’t meet me if it was raining.  Huh? Everything seemed normal up until that comment. Who doesn’t go out in the rain?                      Wondering in Washington

Hey Wondering in Washington,

Not a hair-brained question. The song: “Raindrops keep dropping on my Toupee comes to mind. A so-called Fair weather friend ~ from Date #1  may be a waste of time. Next!   Love, Page

Hey, Page,

What’s the best book I can buy to understand what men are thinking. I used to know the dating game – now, I am totally confused.

Beginners Luck in Burlingame

Hey, Beginners Luck,

The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You. Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book.     This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read.

Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  TipLove, Page

 

 

 The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You. Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book.     This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read. Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  TipLove, Page

hat and glases1

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com  All reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

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Beware of the Marina Playboys?

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Dear Page Larkin,

Melissa, my BFF, just told me that my former “boyfriend” is doing the Marina bar scene has turned into “Mr. Tinder.”

A friend of a friend told her she had seen him on Tinder and he had been seen at various Marina and Union Street watering holes with a different woman, every week. This guy, Alex played me like a fiddle. We, too, met on Tinder. He was cute and flirty and claimed to being way over his divorce.

We had drinks at my favorite pub, and I fell like a ton of bricks. I was seduced by his flattery. He gazed at me told me I was beautiful and later he commented on how sexy I appeared. Prince Charming laid it on thick and, for some reason, I was buying.

This popular pub is famously noisy and one must lean in to hear. Our knees were touching under the tiny table. As he looked into my eyes, he reached for my hand. (Electricity.)  Then he asked if he could kiss me. All this is before we’ve even had our drinks served

I’ll cut the chase and just say I fell fast and hard for this guy. I have met a parade of guys only looking for a one-night stand. Been there done that. This was different. He was sincere. After a few drinks, and a heart to heart conversation, and disclosing we were both looking for more than just one night stand – I went back to his place.

None of my girlfriends were shocked when I told them that Prince Charming sent me a text the next day telling me how wonderful I am.

Then he lamented he was still grappling with the divorce and all that entailed.

Again a steady stream of compliments came the clinker: let’s be friends.  (Wait for it). With benefits. 

I cancelled Tinder. I cancelled Alex the Playboy who is sowing his so-called Newly Divorced oats… corn and tripe.  Please warn all the girls out there.

Ursula

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Dear Ursula,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It must have been painful for you. You are lucky to have girl friends who look out for you.
Unfortunately, your story is not a new one.Beware the wolf in sheep’sclothing and be more discerning before you leap into bed with anyone

Cheers,
Page 

 

 

 

 

 

The First Date: the coffee date “Hey, look me over”


You’ve seen them at coffee shops, restaurants, and Starbucks. You can tell.

 She walks in, looking around for a complete stranger. She glances at the faces of every male in the room – seriously hoping her first date-guy looks like the photo he posted online.

When the ‘closest facsimile’ waves her over to his table, with a broad smile, she cautiously walks over to join him. She is still walking on thin ice and treading lightly. You notice they both have fake and cautious smiles plastered on their faces, half nervous, half curious.

Sticker Shock

Both are quickly adjusting to the “First-Meeting Sticker Shock.” Their minds are racing like a deck of shuffling cards.

Best-case inner dialogue could be: “Phew. Wow. What a relief! Looks exactly like the photo,” or worst-case scenario, both parties -with frozen smiles and minds racing with thoughts like: “What was I thinking? What a mistake. OMG. How can I get out of this? How long do I have to stay? Check please. Please.”

It’s a Dance…

You have to admire people who take the plunge, who get out there and do the dating dance. Somedays it’s like a waltz – other times it’s the Twist…or a jitterbug- fast and frenetic. When two hearts and minds collide and match – that’s the best.

For every couple grimacing through the awkward stages of meeting somebody for coffee for the first time, there are hundreds of us sitting at home pretending to be satisfied with watching TV with a cat, cruising the free dating sites… and all that other single, solitary, alone stuff.


Bravo to the brave of heart
who wear their hearts on their sleeves and get out there and make the effort to meet somebody new. 

Gold Stars and Gold Medals all around for the brave and the few. It’s a New Day – a New Year Why not put your single, big toe into the Dating Game?

 

Remember: Today is the first day of the rest of your social life. Get out there and have fun.

Cheer Up, Binkie. Get inspired Put these on Post-it notes:

” When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” François de la Rochefoucauld

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

“By persistently remaining single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

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“If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night… your friends.” – Sex in the City

Dating Game: Secret to Success?

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Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence.

The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.

Denis Waitley

Almost

If you have been thinking…about adding Romance and Relationships to your life in the New Year…Take heed: drive and perisistence are the key. Sitting on the sidelines will garner no results. Stand up, get noticed and get in the Dating Game. 

Getting Tender: You don’t have to swipe left and right; nor do you have to dress like you daughter or niece.

Resolutions: If you do nothing else in January- make an effort to establish eye contact with the opposite sex and smile. That’s all. Do it every day. Start small…work you way up.

Smiles = smiles.

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What do women want? Listen, Santa Baby

Santa Baby, we need to talk. Listen to this: reports indicate, every day, women say 1000 more words than male counterparts. We can talk about this, if you like.

A random poll recently conducted at Curves, a nail salon, an OB-Gyn office and a leading yoga studio revealed

The Top 200 Words that Women
Would Most Like to Hear are:

1. Merry Christmas, the blue little box is for you.

2. You are beautiful; those jeans make you look so thin and sexy.

3. How was your day? You’re brilliant. Hugs.

4. Here, darling, a couple of credit cards. Take them and go on a shopping spree. You deserve it. Gump’s is having a sale.

5. Can I draw you a bath? Let me wrap all the presents.

6. Of course, I’d love to watch a chick flick on the couch with you. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ or “Serendipity”?

7. Forget the 49ers. Let’s go walk at the beach.

8. I just called to say ‘I love you.’ Did you find the flowers I left on the doorstep?

9. You’re the greatest. Babe, sit down, watch your programs; I’ll do the dishes.

10. I’ve got mistletoe! You and me? Away in the manger?

11. Hark! Do you hear what I hear? The kids are asleep.

12. You’re an incredible wife and mother. I missed you and vacuumed the house.

Listen. Women may tend to be loquacious, voluble and talkative; we have a lot to say.

A savvy Santa is perceptive and sage. Spice up your life with the Top 200 Words Women Want to Hear.

Put your hands up! Classic “No Phones” Christmas party


We entered the very chic, very private club only to encounter a small forest of Christmas trees, a-sparkle with twinkling lights

and old-fashioned ornaments, lining both sides the long hall hallway.

A Will Ferrell sized elf stood next to a ginormous silver punch bowl.

The huge sign, framed in tiny candy. canes read:

Blank white sandwich board on a city sidewalk

                             Club Rules

As fast as people surrendered their phones, Elf and his staff gave out claim tickets.

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Some people walked away slowly, looking back, incredulous.

Others were unsure what to do next – their hands-free.

The tables were laden with cookies and cakes and Christmas candy.

Several “Beverage Stations” lined the vast hall and waitresses dressed in red velvet Mrs. Santa mini-dresses and black boots passed hors d’oeuvres.

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A tiny army of energetic elves entertained the children with tricks and treats and silliness.

The musical sound of children laughing made everybody happy.

Bing, Buble, Botticelli, Clooney belted out classic Christmas songs.

In a swirl of Ho Ho Ho, Santa arrived- and with the help of the elves, everyone received a gift.

The children beamed (some screamed.)

Meanwhile, at the the Departure Area at the club, the elves lined up all the phones numerically for quick access and smooth departures.

The party was from 12 – to four-o’clock. It was a first “Phone Free Party” and many attendees were visibly uncomfortable a first – the, were swept up in the festivities and fun.

(Open hands –  Open heart)

It was a first and the ‘New Normal’ for the club.

Check your phones outside.

>If I Ruled the World</a>

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Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the program, Binkie



Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Calvin buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “Favorite Cute Customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Barista Kelly wrote her phone number on the sleeve of “his” coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

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Pat M. in Concord is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Frank X. buys bags of Hershey Kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Patsy S in the Medford  writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time.

Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

George, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to George. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Henry, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Lynne R, the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

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Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere.

Not Just for Christmas

Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin post.

Happy New YEAR!

What to get him for Christmas? Check out Daly’s 1895


No More Mugs, no more Cd’s, no more bottles of wine…

Check out this new

Hot Spot on the Horizon…

Dalys 1895

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Skip the trite and mundane –

Bespoke Spoken Here

 

Take a look at these hot gifts to tickle someone’s fancy this holiday:

Stunning Money Clips, Pocket Squares, and a handsome compendium of  elegant and unique Men’s Furnishings. Take a look.

Dalys 1895

 
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Money Clips,Pocket Squares, Elegant and Unique Men’s Furnishings.

The days of trite joke gifts and funny Santa Hats are over.

Now is the time to show your beau you really mean it.

Happy Shopping – don’t forget the  mistletoe!indexmistellletoeoeoe


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Curling – Romancing the stone: Kizzle Kazzle?


photo_5939_20080515Romancing the stone…

Curling, the novel and  very mysterious  Scottish sport, created in the 16th century…and Everybody’s talking about the novel sport-on-ice involving great patience and a sweeping technique.

Curling involves four players and simple equipment consisting of a 42-pound stone and brooms. The players, called Sleepers, guide the stone and frantically sweep the ice with brooms. Yes, brooms.                                                

And there’s great slang like kizzle kazzle – what’s not to like about Curling?

Cynics say Curling is like watching the famous TV Yule Log, so popular on Christmas day, because both are mildly entertaining, totally relaxing and a little slow.

Tossing the First Stone

Imagine: Scotland in 1590, freezing temps, a stark and bleak landscape and frozen rivers and ponds all around.  So what else would you do after a hearty meal of haggis, laddie?   You hit the frozen lake, with a broom and a stone and: play stone!

Thus, the birth of a game.

Curious? The cool history of Curling was written in 1890 by John Kerr. The History of Curling is often regarded as one of the comprehensive histories of the sport. Not considered light reading… few have been swept away.

Party on – Leave No Stone Unturned

Have a Curling party tonight. Decorations are easy: Brooms and Ttones are all you need. Menu planning? Please – Skip the Haggis. kilt small
Go for Single Malt Scotch, Colcannon or Rumbledethumps, or Salmon.          

 Slàinte!

I want Rumbledethumps!

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Going out on a ReDate?

The ReDate…also referred to as a Déjà vu date is a new dating phenomenon             and everyone is doing it.

Well, not everybody – however, a casual poll conducted this week indicates 85% of those queried would seriously consider   ReDating  a person they once dated…
Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and a ‘second chance at love’.

Webster might define a ReDate as “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach, disappear, and slip away. There are a million stories in the dated city.   The concept of a ReDate introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were to rash, at first blush. If at first you don’t succeed, ReDate.

George  has been called a ‘Perpetual Bachelor’ and a bon vivant… His iMac, Little Black Book and Rolodex are filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.  He has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.  He said, “ReDating is like a romantic breakthrough where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to connect, again. ReDate.”

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of pictures and profiles on the Online Dating Sites is like a stroll through a never-ending buffet line ~ too much fluff – a whole lotta jello, empty carbs and empty suits, loads of sweets with not enough content, depth or reality.    The problem: there is such a wide assortment, it stultifies.

Both men and women get overwhelmed, minds get muddled, hearts go thump in the night. Right? Mistakes are made ~ and we all think about the one who got away.

The answer: ReDate. Give it a try, again.

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