Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the category “Single Men in San Francisco”

Aging with grace and aplomb…and AARP!

candles-492171__180
You barely blow out the candles on your 50th birthday cake

and AARP is in the mail

and on the attack…

alarm clock

The times they are a changin’

 

The Man of your Dreams used to quote

Rolling Stone Magazine

and Esquire…

and, then Vanity Fair  

and The New Yorker

and now!

He is quoting from  AARP magazine…

                                                                            Say, it isn’t so.

imagessuper

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.

At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” 

Ann Landers (1918-2002)

 

 

1379402_605872199472972_240031918_n

Graceful

Advertisements

Dating 101:Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

dice-161376__180 Q. Do you Yelp?

 A. Only If I am pinched!

Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Dear Page,

I am 43, single again and decided to start over – and date younger women. I went online – decided to look for women on Yelp. I am a big Yelp Review Dude. In three months, I have dated six much younger women – all dead ends.

First, I met Danniey – she said she was “26 and a restaurant critic.” Curious, I asked her where she had recently dined she sent me her three recent reviews. This is “whot she wrote”

Too Fat: This place is by far the worst burger place I have went to.

Coming into Fat Burger, three people greeted us. I thought that was so sweet of them. Not a lot of burger joints will greet you that way. Anyways, it took my friend and I a while to figure out what we want. They go by weight of the meat and you have options of toppings to put on your burger

My friend and I got the same meal! Which was the 1/3 burger. The only difference between our food was that I got curly fries and he got skinny fries.

Fowl Play: Once before I got fried chicken with their tartar sauce with sides of rice and potato salad. My food came out and it looked delicious. In my opinion, the portion of the chicken were so big that it was really filling. I enjoyed the potato salad on the side.

It was my friend’s birthday and we decided to drink before we decided to go to this place. It was a little after 10:30pm when we ordered and my friends and I were super hungry. To be honest, I don’t remember being too loud but according to one of the workers there, we were being “way too loud” The owner says,”We’re closed, the kitchen is closed.” Apparently she was trying to kick us out. We will not go back. Ever.

We went to Fishermans Grotto in Frisco – very high class. Really good place to have clam chowder when you are near the Pier. They had two types of clam chowder (Boston and I forgot what the other one was called.) Both served in a bread bowl of desired. I also ordered calamari. It was good but not the best I have had. The place was really fancy and high classed.

On the phone, – she is a sweet girl. I was thinking Eliza Dolittle – then, decided against it.

Next was Shenikqua –  29, divorced, outgoing, friendly and lives in the Mission. Her Yelp handle is “On  a mission.” We spoke on the phone – she really wanted me to go her nail salon with her. She sent me her Yelp review – and this is what she wrote:

Darn, be pretty is taking too much of my time. Me like this nail salon. Gentlemen are welcome too.. I’ve seen several men came in to get their mani, pedi ( without painting ) & also facial treatments..;). You guys will be treated like a King, lol .. Heaven isn’t far away !!

I use to double my happiness by grabbing an Ice Sea Salt Coffee from 85 Bakery ( it was in the same plaza ) and enjoy my Queen’s time …Highly recommend this salon !! Life is short .. Just reward yourself with some simple pleasures …We never know what’s going to happen tomorrow, right ?!!

donut-522431__180

I knew from the start we probably might not be a fit. Her Nail salon date and review blew me away.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

Then I met Kellie aka “Missy Food Xpert” in San Mateo. She, too, was happy to send me her review of a good restaurant for a first date.

The Fry House

The combination of meat, salad & sauce were delicious and tasty. I can’t help myself when I saw the chili hot sauce, adding on the spice always make it better for me. Be careful if you’re not into spicy side because this sauce is Smocking Hot..

This place is new, clean and fun decorations. There’s tables for dine in but with quite a bit amount of customers it will be hard for a big group or family.

Page, Yelp is not the place to meet single women. I struck out. Any ideas?

New in Town and Searching

Dear New In Town,

You get Gold Stars for trying! First: Date your own decade. Next, look at this: Get Your Mojo Moving. Try those Top 5 tips and let me know how that works for you.

Peace, Page Larkin

Summertime – Urbane and Urban

Many made it over ot Medford to see Keith Urban at the Country Crossing Event

 

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse

and cool the earth, the air and you.

Langston Hughes

What on Earth were they thinking?


The Top Dating BuzzKills: Selfies, Emojis….

“Clever Tim from Portrero Hill ” instantly alienated a half-dozen women by writing his introductory online “Flirty” email using “cute Emojis.” What he perceived as creative – women all took to be childish and primitive. Dull times three, Timbo. 

10433947_10152311764152819_1392972002862246985_n

“Devilish Denny in Danville” was very pleased with himself. He finally graduated from taking pictures of himself in the mirror to taking real “Selfies.” He was snapping a lot of Selfies… in parking lots, sitting on his friend’s Harley or with a good-looking waitress.  “Selfies, the vanity” are for rank amateurs. Delete them, Binkie.

 

Lusty Linda in Livermore calls herself a Dating Machine.  She now uses Picmonkey to enhance all of her online dating photographs. With Picmonkey, you can crop, erase, improve, and enhance any photo with a few clicks. Like magic. Linda is so good at ‘improving’ her photographs, that, unfortunately, Coffee Date Guys have walked past her – looking for a younger, thinner, woman.

Every artist was first an amateur.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

EarthLust

Men are like fine wine

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12

This was sent to Page Larkin

by Evelyn J.  age 88

A Real Man

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

Bronze buddah in the parkHe will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be her most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible self.

Hearts on a line

No, wait!  I’m sorry…I’m thinking of wine.

Never mind.

.photo_1839_20060807

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent

offers a Three-hour Dating Mojo workshop every month.

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

 Saturdays  TBA 10 AM to 1 PM

 

  • Cost: $49
  • Limit: eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (Additional  Information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com *photo_11785_20090615peacock*******//******

Here are 5 Easy Ways to get  ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’ and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking text/emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF)
  3. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The recent foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.  Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel: Suddenly Single Date World
  4. Volunteer Check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations- St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion..
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is delicious.

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes
FACT: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed:

Men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons. Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

new-years-eve-1905142__340
  

Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,

Sing as if no one is listening, 

Love as if you have never been hurt, 

and Dance as if no one is watching”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sad man

 A fear of dating?

Now is the Time to curb your “Fear of Dating”

What are you afraid of, Binkie?

So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box, Right off the shelf, and new to the dating game?

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester. Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:

The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone

2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten

3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage

4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking

5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex

6. Gynophobia – fear of women

7. Hominophobia -fear of men

8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed

9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons

10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night.

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:

“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Smart Women – Dumb Choices?


Best ADVICE:  Hide your IQ  and 
Show your bra strap…

Hey, smarty pants!

The University of Chicago describes itself  as The place fun came to die.”

September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice.  My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you.  In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”

The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her.  Enrapt.

“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”

Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”

“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”

Lingering in Lingerie

The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused. Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.

Do smart women intimidate men?

There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.

And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.

The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.

woman-1329790__340

“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;  

all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority

belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, 

and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.”

Virginia Woolf

 

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

IMG_0614

 

 

Sweet Revenge turns sour?

Merriane was very angry that Matt gave her the,

“You are too good for me” line.

They had been dating – hot and heavy- for three months and she was sure he was “The One.” They got along famously in every room of the house. He could cook, clean, shop, do laundry and did his best work in the bedroom. She had no complaints. And no clue.

She laughed when she told her girlfriends she would revel in  a weekend of Chick Flicks and enjoy a lavish Menage a Trois – with Ben and Jerry. They knew she wasn’t kidding, The company had just introduced four new flavors: Truffle Kerfuffle, Urban Bourbon, Candy Bar Pie and Half Baked. She claimed it was Chocolate Therapy.

Merriane  thought she paper the neighborhood with Matt UNwanted posters. Or she might do a ‘Blog a Bitch’  about her ex-boyfriend. She decided upon a thinly veiled account: Dirty little secrets – his worst fears,  awful things he said about his friends and family.  Next,  she would take anything he left behind and begin auctioning it off on eBay or put it on the street with a “free “sign on it.

On a sugar high, she started her movie marathon with Thelma and Louise, Beaches, Mystic Pizza, and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

alanon2116_n

“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor was her Mantra and her top song of the day –

followed closely by “Cry Me a River, “These Boots Are Made for Walking”  and,  You’re So Vain.

All it took was a couple of pints, a movie marathon, huge success on eBay, Break up songs blaring through the house, a good night’s sleep and the pity party was over.

Merriane knew she was alone,  

but more importantly, she was now available.

Like Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air – she was back in the game.

dandelion-776163__180

Paper

Top 9 Reasons to go to Marin this weekend

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12

Top 10 reasons to go to Marin this Weekend

 

1. Hardly, Strictly, a parking place in or near Golden Gate Park – as a result of the 750,000 Bluegrass fans who blanket the City. Flee!

2. Beach Party: The weather is going to be a stunner -and a great day to hit one of the numerous beaches in Marin – Go, North!

3. The Mill Valley Film Festivalrated one of the nation’s finest Film Festivals by all of Marin and  the Mark Fishkin Guidebook. Celebrating 37 years- with a small galaxy of stars, including – Hillary – The Other One- Swank who flew in from Paris last night for the Opening Party – looking tres glam in a low-cut gown. She stars in The Homesman with Tommy Lee Jones.

4. The Ferries – Take the Ferry over to Sausalito: Rent one of Mike’s Bikes (bring your own GPS – the maps provide stink) Spend the day walking the shoping-dining-drinking-streets, explore the colorful neighborhood of eclectic houseboats…walk over to the Dipsea Cafe…

5. Bike Around -The most recent accident involving a Spandex Rider hitting and injuring a small child on Bothin Trail has inspired a “Share Tho Road” campaign. Bikers are reminded  To Share The Road – at every turn- by wakers, strollers, skaters…Learn to Share.

 

 

 

6. Sweetwater – Okay, so no Jules Broussard…of your youth -however, Wonderbread is playing Saturday night at 8 pm.

7. Mount Tam – hands downs, Mount Tamalpais is the most breathtaking mountain in the Bay Area, it is a veritable gold-mine of fun things to do see and try…”picnicking, mountain and road cycling, horseback riding, and hang-gliding with over 100 miles of trails and fire roads. . Marin Municipal Water District maintains several reservoirs on the north slopes of Mount Tamalpais, including Alpine Lake, Kent Lake, Bon Tempe Lake, Phoenix Lake, and Lake Lagunitas.”

8. LITQUAKE  in Marin? – Next Saturday, October 10, LITQUAKE moves across the Golden Gate Bride to San Rafael for a day of readings and writing and fun. Check it out.

9. The Farmer’s Market on Sunday at the San Rafael Civic Center – is one the biggest social events in Marin County – every week. And! They have an incredible line up of the best organic produce stands in Northern California.

CIMG1382

Her family tree was missing a few branches

Chrissie was a cute, blonde, 30-something, looking of love in all the wrong places.

She dated a boy in college for three years and it “didn’t work out.” After grad school, she met “the love of her life” and they eventually moved in together. A year later, she met his mother who slowly, subtly, quizzed Chrissie on her family, her up bringing, and her values.

As she skated on thin ice, Chrissie tried to paint a Norman Rockwell Life story. The holes in her story were so big you could drive a Tesla through them. Chrissie had told her “perfect life story” so many times, it tripped lightly off her tongue. Until she met “his mother.”

The Maybe-a-Mother-in-law was curious. He son had advised her, “Do not ask about her mother. Please.” Naturally, that was the first thing she wanted to inquire about.  She approached the subject in the most strategic fashion – she danced around light questions about schools, degrees, goals, and where Chrissie’s family lived. There was no doubt who was in control of this “chat.”

Chrissie was quite adroit at avoiding questions and launching into stories-to-distract.

Finally, the woman who’s only son was living with a mystery girl asked the big question, “Where does your mother live?”

Chrissie said her mother lived in another part of the state. Really? Curious Mother lobbed easy questions: Where? What does she do? How often do you see her? When will we meet her?

Caught in a sticky web of lies...it was hard to keep up with the insightful, incisive questions, Chrissie left the room on the pretense of getting more water. She found her beau, grabbed his arm, and told him to tell his mother to cease and desist or she would leave the apartment and go for a drive. A long drive.

He sat close to his mother on the couch and begged her not to ask any more questions. He agreed, his girl friend’s family tree was unusual; Chrissie did not speak to many relatives. She was simply “independent.”

He left to find his sweetheart and like any good mother, she began to Google Chrissie.

Mission Accomplished.

Control

One of the worst dates? Ever.

Unknown-75

We had agreed to meet at a place with “ambience and parking.”

I scored a parking place in front– arriving a few minutes early. We decided on trendy, watering-hole downtown. Perched on a barstool, I waited. Twenty minutes later, a tall, gray-haired man walked in. He didn’t resemble any of the photos I had seen online. However, he was 6’2 and was walking towards me, smiling.   He said, “Dear, you look just like your photo.”

I thought, “You don’t look a thing like yours. Dear.” He made no apology for being late.

He was wearing a tweed jacket-probably from the 80’s that might have fit him then -not now. Chalk it up to: “Needs help.”

He suggested we move to the table in the small garden in the back. We we’re seated in a lovely area far removed from the bar. The waiter dropped off our drinks and we didn’t see him again.

How we went from where did you go to school -where do you live to his cholesterol, resting heart rate, daily exercise regime, and insomnia, I’ll never know.

ocean-902408__180

On the dating profile, he indicated a passion for water sports, rowing, hiking and literature.

What he divulged was that his rowing took place in his living room-on a machine looking at the water. He was a big Danielle Steele fan. His hikes were to and from the grocery store.

It didn’t take much to decipher we have very little in common.

He displayed a great interest in my former husband.

Generally, my response is “That’s history.” And I move on.

However, Mr. Old Tweed Jacket was like a dog with a bone inquiring about my past. Which made him even less attractive. I suggested we get the check and call it a day. With no waiter insight, he suggested we simply walk out and not pay.

Then, I really knew I was with a loser.

On the way out, he went to the men’s room; I paid the bill.

And I said “Good luck.” (That’s what women say when they have no intention of ever seeing the guy again) He indicated he like to “do this again.”

Ha! Not in this lifetime.

I smiled, walked to my car, and drove off. Dodged that bullet.

 

 

Time to Rhyme? Poetry – the ultimate chick magnet?



April is actually the coolest, not the cruelest, month- it’s National Poetry Month

 

The hot topic around the Sunday buffet was how perfectly seductive it is to hear a man recite a poem.

Consensus was, “Oh, yeah!” Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from a motion we collected in tranquility.”  Voltaire called poetry, “Music of the soul”

Whatever You Call It

Whether you recite a poem, a haiku, a sonnet – whether it’s blank verse – or free verse, lyrical or satirical- women swoon over poetry. There’s something irresistible and alluring about having someone recite a poem to you.

Poems are meant to be slow and leisurely, read aloud and read more than once.

Now is the time – to pick up a book of poems, choose a poet – whether it’s Ogden Nash (Candy Is dandy; But liquor Is quicker) or W.H. Auden, or local poet laureate: Kay Ryan or T.S. Eliot Keats, or Billy Collins.

Find a slim volume of poems and revel in the language. Poetic License- 100 Poems 100 Performers- the audio book – is romantic, breath-taking, and astounding. Check your local Indy Bookstore for a copy.

Poetry 101

Billy Collins, a highly esteemed favorite among English majors everywhere explains teaching poetry to students in his poem entitled, “Poetry 101”

Here are the Top 10 Poems of the Day

1. Elizabeth Barrett Browning “How Do I Love thee? Let me count the ways”

2. Robert Burns, scalding red-hot love poem: “My Red, Red, Rose”

3. Emily Dickinson “I Cannot Live with You”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 “Shall I Compare You to a Summer’s Day?”

5. Margaret Atwood “Variation on the Word Sleep“

6. Billy Collins “Litany”

7. William Wordsworth “The Daffodils”

8. W.H Auden’s “Funeral Blues”

9. Francis William Bourdillon “The Night has a Thousand Eyes”

10.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “The Day is Done”

Read them, recite them, revel in poetry.

“Poetry is the shadow cast by out streetlight imaginations.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Post Navigation