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Archive for the category “Single Men in San Francisco”

Top 9 Reasons to go to Marin this weekend

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Top 10 reasons to go to Marin this Weekend

 

1. Hardly, Strictly, a parking place in or near Golden Gate Park – as a result of the 750,000 Bluegrass fans who blanket the City. Flee!

2. Beach Party: The weather is going to be a stunner -and a great day to hit one of the numerous beaches in Marin – Go, North!

3. The Mill Valley Film Festivalrated one of the nation’s finest Film Festivals by all of Marin and  the Mark Fishkin Guidebook. Celebrating 37 years- with a small galaxy of stars, including – Hillary – The Other One- Swank who flew in from Paris last night for the Opening Party – looking tres glam in a low-cut gown. She stars in The Homesman with Tommy Lee Jones.

4. The Ferries – Take the Ferry over to Sausalito: Rent one of Mike’s Bikes (bring your own GPS – the maps provide stink) Spend the day walking the shoping-dining-drinking-streets, explore the colorful neighborhood of eclectic houseboats…walk over to the Dipsea Cafe…

5. Bike Around -The most recent accident involving a Spandex Rider hitting and injuring a small child on Bothin Trail has inspired a “Share Tho Road” campaign. Bikers are reminded  To Share The Road – at every turn- by wakers, strollers, skaters…Learn to Share.

 

 

 

6. Sweetwater – Okay, so no Jules Broussard…of your youth -however, Wonderbread is playing Saturday night at 8 pm.

7. Mount Tam – hands downs, Mount Tamalpais is the most breathtaking mountain in the Bay Area, it is a veritable gold-mine of fun things to do see and try…”picnicking, mountain and road cycling, horseback riding, and hang-gliding with over 100 miles of trails and fire roads. . Marin Municipal Water District maintains several reservoirs on the north slopes of Mount Tamalpais, including Alpine Lake, Kent Lake, Bon Tempe Lake, Phoenix Lake, and Lake Lagunitas.”

8. LITQUAKE  in Marin? – Next Saturday, October 10, LITQUAKE moves across the Golden Gate Bride to San Rafael for a day of readings and writing and fun. Check it out.

9. The Farmer’s Market on Sunday at the San Rafael Civic Center – is one the biggest social events in Marin County – every week. And! They have an incredible line up of the best organic produce stands in Northern California.

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Her family tree was missing a few branches

Chrissie was a cute, blonde, 30-something, looking of love in all the wrong places.

She dated a boy in college for three years and it “didn’t work out.” After grad school, she met “the love of her life” and they eventually moved in together. A year later, she met his mother who slowly, subtly, quizzed Chrissie on her family, her up bringing, and her values.

As she skated on thin ice, Chrissie tried to paint a Norman Rockwell Life story. The holes in her story were so big you could drive a Tesla through them. Chrissie had told her “perfect life story” so many times, it tripped lightly off her tongue. Until she met “his mother.”

The Maybe-a-Mother-in-law was curious. He son had advised her, “Do not ask about her mother. Please.” Naturally, that was the first thing she wanted to inquire about.  She approached the subject in the most strategic fashion – she danced around light questions about schools, degrees, goals, and where Chrissie’s family lived. There was no doubt who was in control of this “chat.”

Chrissie was quite adroit at avoiding questions and launching into stories-to-distract.

Finally, the woman who’s only son was living with a mystery girl asked the big question, “Where does your mother live?”

Chrissie said her mother lived in another part of the state. Really? Curious Mother lobbed easy questions: Where? What does she do? How often do you see her? When will we meet her?

Caught in a sticky web of lies...it was hard to keep up with the insightful, incisive questions, Chrissie left the room on the pretense of getting more water. She found her beau, grabbed his arm, and told him to tell his mother to cease and desist or she would leave the apartment and go for a drive. A long drive.

He sat close to his mother on the couch and begged her not to ask any more questions. He agreed, his girl friend’s family tree was unusual; Chrissie did not speak to many relatives. She was simply “independent.”

He left to find his sweetheart and like any good mother, she began to Google Chrissie.

Mission Accomplished.

Control

One of the worst dates? Ever.

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We had agreed to meet at a place with “ambience and parking.”

I scored a parking place in front– arriving a few minutes early. We decided on trendy, watering-hole downtown. Perched on a barstool, I waited. Twenty minutes later, a tall, gray-haired man walked in. He didn’t resemble any of the photos I had seen online. However, he was 6’2 and was walking towards me, smiling.   He said, “Dear, you look just like your photo.”

I thought, “You don’t look a thing like yours. Dear.” He made no apology for being late.

He was wearing a tweed jacket-probably from the 80’s that might have fit him then -not now. Chalk it up to: “Needs help.”

He suggested we move to the table in the small garden in the back. We we’re seated in a lovely area far removed from the bar. The waiter dropped off our drinks and we didn’t see him again.

How we went from where did you go to school -where do you live to his cholesterol, resting heart rate, daily exercise regime, and insomnia, I’ll never know.

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On the dating profile, he indicated a passion for water sports, rowing, hiking and literature.

What he divulged was that his rowing took place in his living room-on a machine looking at the water. He was a big Danielle Steele fan. His hikes were to and from the grocery store.

It didn’t take much to decipher we have very little in common.

He displayed a great interest in my former husband.

Generally, my response is “That’s history.” And I move on.

However, Mr. Old Tweed Jacket was like a dog with a bone inquiring about my past. Which made him even less attractive. I suggested we get the check and call it a day. With no waiter insight, he suggested we simply walk out and not pay.

Then, I really knew I was with a loser.

On the way out, he went to the men’s room; I paid the bill.

And I said “Good luck.” (That’s what women say when they have no intention of ever seeing the guy again) He indicated he like to “do this again.”

Ha! Not in this lifetime.

I smiled, walked to my car, and drove off. Dodged that bullet.

 

 

Time to Rhyme? Poetry – the ultimate chick magnet?



April is actually the coolest, not the cruelest, month- it’s National Poetry Month

 

The hot topic around the Sunday buffet was how perfectly seductive it is to hear a man recite a poem.

Consensus was, “Oh, yeah!” Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from a motion we collected in tranquility.”  Voltaire called poetry, “Music of the soul”

Whatever You Call It

Whether you recite a poem, a haiku, a sonnet – whether it’s blank verse – or free verse, lyrical or satirical- women swoon over poetry. There’s something irresistible and alluring about having someone recite a poem to you.

Poems are meant to be slow and leisurely, read aloud and read more than once.

Now is the time – to pick up a book of poems, choose a poet – whether it’s Ogden Nash (Candy Is dandy; But liquor Is quicker) or W.H. Auden, or local poet laureate: Kay Ryan or T.S. Eliot Keats, or Billy Collins.

Find a slim volume of poems and revel in the language. Poetic License- 100 Poems 100 Performers- the audio book – is romantic, breath-taking, and astounding. Check your local Indy Bookstore for a copy.

Poetry 101

Billy Collins, a highly esteemed favorite among English majors everywhere explains teaching poetry to students in his poem entitled, “Poetry 101”

Here are the Top 10 Poems of the Day

1. Elizabeth Barrett Browning “How Do I Love thee? Let me count the ways”

2. Robert Burns, scalding red-hot love poem: “My Red, Red, Rose”

3. Emily Dickinson “I Cannot Live with You”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 “Shall I Compare You to a Summer’s Day?”

5. Margaret Atwood “Variation on the Word Sleep“

6. Billy Collins “Litany”

7. William Wordsworth “The Daffodils”

8. W.H Auden’s “Funeral Blues”

9. Francis William Bourdillon “The Night has a Thousand Eyes”

10.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “The Day is Done”

Read them, recite them, revel in poetry.

“Poetry is the shadow cast by out streetlight imaginations.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Dating 101:All the good ones are taken

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All the good ones are taken

Steve went to brunch at a friend’s home on Sunday. He knew he was being ”fixed up,” yet, again. All of his married friends wanted him to be ”as happy as they were.”

For years, he had observed the happy couples -the snipes, the snips, the eye-rolling and wondered just how happy they actually were.

Then again, who was he to wonder. He had been on six different dating sites the last eight years, and was still “Just looking.”

Truth be told, hundreds of dates later, he concluded, it was a jungle out there. More often than not, he fell in love. And it was rarely reciprocated. Women that this age and stage (50/60) were tough. Either they had a “My Man Must Have List,” or they were “Just The Sex, Please,” one-night-stand-women.

He tried Tinder and met a beautiful redhead, his age, height, and education who just wanted someone “To hold her once a week,” that’s all. Next!

This time, his ”fix up” was Veronique. She was short, perky, with a head of curly gray hair and a perpetually surprised expression. Having been around the block a few times, he knew Veronique was 60, if a day, and she had some work done. No one look surprised all the time.

Nevertheless, she was lively and interesting. She been to Thailand (Red flag-he had seen 60 Minutes about Thailand being the plastic surgery capital.)

When she spoke passionately about “the twins,” he assumed she was talking about her kids. No. She had two Siamese cats, that were highly intelligent and she knew they spoke to her in Cat Language.

That was it.

Steve did his perfect guest, clear the table, help the hostess with dessert routine, and “Oh, my! Look at the time.” He had to go and pick up a friend at the airport. Floods of apologies.

He had this exit down to a science. Hasta la vista, baby.

Steve swore he would never get fixed up again.

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What are men thinking? The brain of the manly man

Are men happier?

It all started when cavemen went on the Annual Mastodon Hunting Trip leaving cave women and cave children behind.


The women put the cave kids to bed early, pulled out the equivalent of Kick-a-poo joy juice, sat around the fire- invented by a woman- grunted and laughed and shared about their husbands who “acted like Neanderthals.”

Fast forward a few eons to a meeting  of  ‘The Salon’  a dozen women, all hovering around  5o, pondering about men: What makes men so happy?

Seriously, is there anything new under the sun about elusive happiness and the basics of the sexes?

 

Eve did it…Adam did it

From the inception of time, people have mused and metaphor-ed about little boys- frogs, snails and puppy dog tails versus little girls- sugary, spicy and everything nicely organized.

Brainy author, Louann Brizendine tackled the subject in her first book about pretty in pink The Female Brain. It didn’t take a Mensa membership to forecast Brizendine’s next book would be about men and celebrating their cerebellum. Bets were on: would the second book be shorter and less complicated?

About the same time The Male Brain came out, a simple, succinct e-mail about Men and Happiness was circulating world wide.

The illuminating and hysterical piece caught the attention of the members of ‘The Salon’.  They agreed “Why men are happier than women” is brutally honest, very clever and takes two- minutes to read – time for throwing head back and laughing heartily included.

Want To Know The Secret?   With Men:  It’s all about Number One: Men have one hair style- forever; they have one mood; and one pair of shoes and one wallet goes with every single outfit. Men are happy campers.


Truth be Told:   

Anyway and Everyday: Women simply want to know what men thinking about (answer: Sex).

We want to know what men dream about (answer: Sex).

We ponder: when it comes to flight or fright what is the limbic system of the cortex of the brain of a man thinking about? (answer: SEX)

Conclusion: Men are happy and women are luckier for it.

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

 

Where are all the single men in SF?



Donde esta los muchachos?

Dear Page Larkin

I went to the movie Friday afternoon and the room was filled with women. No, it wasn’t a chick flick. It was Moonlight Then, I went to a Pinot Noir wine tasting at Whole Foods. We were 75% single women and 25% couples.

Rick’s Wine Bar looks like a sorority party. I just can’t bring myself to attend NASCAR or those cigar bars.

Where are all the boys?  Then, I went to a trendy, cool, church…nope, all gray-haired ladies – pretty much.

On Sunday, like all good American girls, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond  – it was like a wedding shower- the aisles were filled with women, girls, ladies, shopping for linens and things.


Is it me, or is it San Francisco? This is like living in the world of the Amazons.

By mistake, I went to Union Street.  Once upon a time, a long time ago …Really popular Singles Bars used to be the rage. That night,  It was Frat Boy Night packed with 20 to 30-year-old, drunk, Frat boys high-fiving one another and measuring virility/maturity by the number of sake bombs they were throwing back. Next!

Where are the big boys?

Finally, I LYFTED over to Valencia Street- and was inundated with couples going to all the trendy- fabulous-darling restaurants. The Good Vibrations emporium was teeming with women, go figure.

Where did all the single guys go?

From Fresno to Frisco and Frustrated

 

Dear From Fresno to Frisco…

Brava! You have certainly done due diligence and you make keen observations.Remember: A guy has got to eat – linger in the aisles at Safeway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Rainbow  Grocery-you get the idea. Smile. Say “hey.” Frequently.

Many happy women say they met many happy men at the Golden State Warrior and SF Giants games – the perfect recipe for meeting people of the opposite sex: winning teams, sky high excitement, mutual passion for Pence, Posey, Pagan….Curry, Klay….

You’re right, guys are not in bookstores, yoga classes, or cake decorating classes – they should be – that’s where women go.

 

Tip of the day: See Top 10 Places Meet Men 

 

Breakfast

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Steven Wright

 

 

 

Men online: don’t ask these crass questions

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So I walked into the Members Cocktail Party at the MOMA

A man approaches me and says, “Hey. I’m 6’ tall, 185 pounds, spiritual not religious, income: I’ll tell you later. I like NASCAR, a cigar, hot dogs and pizza and boxing. I’ve seen American Sniper three times and I think Lady Gaga is a freak and Kimmel – they guy the Oscars- is a whack job. Can I  buy you a drink? And what are you tipping the scales at, Tiny?

Next!

I climb the stairs to the American Pop Collection  and another man sidles up  and says, “I’m average height, average build, love to snuggle and to shop at Victoria’s Secret.” (What? A cross-dresser?) He continues, “I live in Santa Rosa and I won’t drive more than 10 miles to meet the woman of my dreams -who, by the way, is ‘Barbie.’ How old are you?”

Buh-Bye!

Some fancy dance work and a quick escape right, to the Interactive Architecture and another man advances and says, “Hello, beautiful! Let’s skip the small talk: I’m Scorpio, very lonely, never married, no kids, live alone; I have a very, very, big, bike. Can I take you for a ride? I dig the White Housee Twins: Sean and Steve” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” is on my bedside table. Want to read it together? What’s your income?”

Hasta la vista, baby!

Deftly, I exit down the hall, a quick left turn to see the Diane Arbus. Luckily, I happened upon ‘Mr. Santa Clara.’ He is my height, my age, big smile and twinkling eyes – introduces himself and says his interested in talking and eliminating the mindless chatter about astrology and pets – if that was okay. And then he said, “Your picture doesn’t do you justice.” (A.k.a. The six sexiest words on Match.com)

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He proceeded to ask me questions about me and my life and he listened.

We talked and walked right into the American Pop  and later found ourselves in front of  a Warhol and a Lichtenstein.  We continued – walked, talked and ended up standing in front of the spectacular new Liz Fracchia painting.

The museum was about to close…and the party was not over.

We have been together every day since.

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What’s your story? Tell me your dating story: page.larkin@gmail.com

She dated Luke Warm for too long

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Kelly and Luke went out for a month before she realized he was a dud.

All talk no action?

Luke could talk.  Kelly noted he had a steady flow of so-called plans, plots and ideas. 

When it came to romance, he would caress her hand and whisper in her ear, and explain he wanted to take her to Paris to un petite lingerie shoppe and buy her the most alluring lingerie. Then Luke got distracted and she didn’t hear from him for a week.

Out of the blue, he would call and ask her what she was cooking for dinner. She would rattle off a  gourmet concoction she had dreamed up and as he was about to invite himself over, she informed him she was seeing “other people.”

He  tried his mightiest to sweet talk her and she bowed out. She had his number.

He tried to interest her in going to Burning Man in her SUV- and she had images of burning a VooDoo doll of Luke instead. A month later, he called and she didn’t pick up – ever again.

Either be hot or cold. If you are lukewarm, the Lord will spew you forth from His mouth.

Jerry Lee Lewis
Lukewarm

The Herd Mentality…

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The Yoga Babes had been friends for a decade.

On weekends, the single ladies often went, en masse, to events, movies, performances around the City. They were of an age where Eileen Fisher was more their go to designer…Rachel Zoe, Badgley Mischka and Trina Turk were no longer in their hot fashion repertoire.

It took awhile…

One Saturday evening, the  ladies were lined up to see Paula West see at the Hotel Nikko, Tamsin looked at the gang of girls and said, “Oh, my god! Don’t look now. We are all wearing the same thing!”  The ladies laughed and looked.

Everyone was wearing an ensemble comprised solely of black and white.  One in a black Tuxedo jacket, white cashmere Turtleneck and  black slacks. Tamsin was clad in all-white with a dramatic black shawl. There were lots of black pants; cigarette, flowing, parachute, jeweled Capris, trousers.

It takes a village…a herd…

The women looked, laughed and said, “Devil may care – we don’t!”  As a rule, the women migrate to the same color palette. C’est la vie.

WOMEN IN LITTLE BLACK DRESSES

Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.        

Oscar de la Renta

Heard

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