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Archive for the category “San Francisco Scoops”

Viva Viagra Day – March 27th?


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Pill poppin’ American Men celebrate

the Little Blue Pill Day

National Viagra Day is March 27

The little blue pill with life enhancing properties, or promises, has a special day

The Top 10 Prescription Drugs

In the United States, the Top Ten Prescription Drugs include Claritin, Lipitor, Prilosec, Amoxicillin and Prozac;  35 million people in 100 countries are on Prozac.

You are probably wondering: Are there National holidays for any of America’s Top Ten drugs?

Don’t bother checking your calendar. There are no jolly celebrations or festivals for mundane prescription drugs, except, of course Viagra. Yes, it’s true. March 27th is ‘Viagra Day’ all across America.

And, seriously, what exactly does that mean? You decide.

Then, riddle me this: Who would possibly be behind a vigorous promotion of sildenafil citrate? That little old drug maker: Pfizer

Interesting, Pfizer also makes a bunch of the Top Ten Drugs – however, there is not a single National holiday, or festive marketing campaign for Pfizer’s Lipitor or Celebrex. What’s up with that?

Important or Impotent? –You Decide

Now, you may think it’s ludicrous to celebrate a prescription drug with it’s own special day. Others may disagree. However, in America we seem to have a special day for everything. In the month of March, there are holidays to exult pecans, waffles, smoke and mirrors, and our favorite: National Multiple Personality Day.

March also fetes National Doctors Day

No Matter What age…

and Peanut Butter Lover’s day.  Peanut Envy?

To pill or not to pill?

See Jack Nicholsen in “Somethings Got to Give”

and Al Pacino in “Stand Up Guys.” Hello!

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Mae West said it best: “Between two evils, I always pick the one I’ve never tied before”

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The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of adventure. Next!

Love, Page

Hey Page,

Two weeks ago, I met a man on line. His photos were all taken from a distance. He says he is divorced and 49. I’m 44. After a bunch of e-mails, he said, “Let’s get together for coffee,” but he couldn’t meet me if it was raining.  Huh? Everything seemed normal up until that comment. Who doesn’t go out in the rain?                      Wondering in Washington

Hey Wondering in Washington,

Not a hair-brained question. The song: “Raindrops keep dropping on my Toupee comes to mind. A so-called Fair weather friend ~ from Date #1  may be a waste of time. Next!   Love, Page

Hey, Page,

What’s the best book I can buy to understand what men are thinking. I used to know the dating game – now, I am totally confused.

Beginners Luck in Burlingame

Hey, Beginners Luck,

The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You. Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book.     This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read.

Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  TipLove, Page

 

 

 The bible for a lot of women is the best selling: He’s Just Not That Into You. Another favorite self-help-yourself book, with candid, direct insights into what men are thinking is comedian and radio show host, Steve Harvey’s   Act like a Lady – Think like a Man  See my column about this book.     This should be  required reading for women. Seriously.

Online Dating for Dummies is a great Cliff Notes kind of a quick read. Finally, good luck and to help decipher all this – read my column, That’s Rude! Online Dating  TipLove, Page

hat and glases1

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com  All reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

The missing email ruins everything?


You may have been have been “Lost in Space”…and didn’t even know it.

It happens.

In the wide, wonderful, world of online dating  e-mails, every once in awhile that very special pivotal electronic message gets lost in “Ether Space.”

It’s the Netherworld, that 10th Ring of Hell where, just like socks, e-mails go missing.

 What? Me, worry?

And, yes, dear- Online Dating Beginner… it has happened to you. You just didn’t realize it. What you considered to be a rejection or a rebuff,

in reality, may have simply been a “Triple E, an Ether Evaporated E-mail”.

Single in Sausalito, Rusty,  wrote Bernadette  a beautifully crafted, romantic poem of epic proportions in response to her invitation for a weekend in the Wine Country. For two days, she patiently perched near her computer waiting for this response. Nada. Zilch. Zero response.

Bernadette sadly concluded Rusty was ‘Not that into her.’

The longer she ruminated- the more she thought – “Heh! Perhaps he was a bit of cur and  the she concluded: “What a jerk. Next.”

Upon return from the weekend of swimming, wine tasting, tennis, chess, and charades with her friends, she checked her emails. There she finally discovered the most eloquent, poetic, e-mail from Rusty accepting her invitation.  Unfortunately, the long awaited e-mail was lost in the far recesses of Ether Space for several days before surfacing. It happens.

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Erin  tells the story of meeting “The most wonderful man from Santa Fe” while waiting for a plane at Denver International. Due to “weather” and delayed flights, they spent 4 hours chatting, having coffee and being totally mesmerized with one another. They exchanged business cards and e-mail addrsses and reluctantly boarded planes to their respective homes.

She  knew she had met her soul mate. And then, she never heard from him again. She garnered  the courage and sent three  e-mails- in three weeks- and never heard a word back from her “potential soul mate.” Chalking it up to a “C’est la vie” event – she went on. Disappointed.

One year to the month later, she was in line at the MOMA and ‘Santa Fe guy’ walked up -looked at Erin and point blank asked “Why didn’t you respond to my e-mails?”  She asked him the same question.

Lost in Space…She is now Married Erin and living a happily ever after life

There is a new saying, “When in doubt: don’t Rescind the invitation, Resend”.

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Time to put Your Big Toe in the Dating Pool?

Do you take a Swan Dive or Flip into

Internet Dating Pool?

San Francisco: The Dating Playground of Life…replete with lots of slides…a few swings – many merry-go-rounds-and a whole lotta teeter-tottering going on.

 

If you’re like me, and you might be Suddenly Single…

So, you seek out kindred spirits – people of substance, wit, humor, a certain joie de vivre.

You take the time to ascertain exactly what you are looking for...heck, you even make a list.

At this stage of the game – You’ve kissed a few frogs.
Okay, you did more than just kiss that frog…it was dark – it was late- and when he softly whispered “ribit” in your ear…and he queried breathlessly, “Your pad or mine, Lily?”  You succumbed.

 

So you’ve got The List- including a plethora of important aspects, qualities, virtues, facets of man  (Or- woman) of your dreams…
Age, height, education, general background, appearance, temperment, Peet’s v Starbucks, have they read anything SINCE  The Da Vinci code?
And:
The TWO Biggies:

*1. Have they been married before? (How many times? And for how long?)
* 2. And, what kind of a parent are they?

If he reveals he: ‘Only has one more $25.00 child support payment left’
Lace up your Easy Spirit running shoes and dart!

 Perhaps they are 50+ and never been married?
That’s  okay… Ask just  how long was that last  “meaningful” relationship and are they still talking to one another? Why did it end?


Back to The List –

HOT TIP: You should carefully analyze – if your idea of “foreplay” is two hours at The Outlets and Nordstrom Rack – and he is a couch potato…. who “couches” foreplay, fiveplay and every play he can think of with the insipid sentence “I love to snuggle,” Either don the running shoes or get the bunny slippers out. Your call.

On your ‘Must Have list’ – you might list: Integrity at the very top.

We wandered into a unique Marin County ‘Dive Bar’ the other night…
It was an eclectic crowd – and the bragging rights were attached to the fact that some men had logged over 1000 (one-thousand) HOURS at the bar.
One thousand hours – sitting on a bar stool – and thye were proud of it. Next!

So – don’t go there. 
We don’t have to go to bars to meet singles of the opposite sex – nor should a gentleman over 50 be trawling the bar scene.
Get fins, mask, – oxygen- lots of oxygen and get ready for the plunge...into the Pool of Internet Dating.

Plan on having a good time.

A Classic San Francisco Christmas

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A Recipe For A Classic San Francisco Christmas

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The Christmas tree from the Guardsman’s lot

Revered ornaments from Gump’s, the Emporium, and I Magnin

A two-pound box of See’s chocolate on the table

Florals from Bloomer’s on Sacramento Street in the dining room

A silver tray filled with appetizers from Bryan’s

A display of sweets from Tartine and Miette

Candy canes from The Candy Store

The Liquor Cart filled with libations from the Jug Shop

Last minute necessities from the Five and Dime in Laurel Village

Yule log blazing and Christmas Carols on YouTube since the stereo the died

“Sing you a Merry Christmas” or The Snowflake Tea at Grace Cathedral

Christmas Eve Midnight mass at St. Ignatius

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“The extreme geniality of San Francisco’s economic, intellectual and political climate makes it the most varied and challenging city in the United States.” —

James Michener

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“The changing light / at San Francisco / is none of your East Coast light / none of your / pearly light of Paris / The light of San Francisco / is a sea light / an island light / And the light of fog / blanketing the hills / drifting in at night / through the Golden Gate / to lie on the city at dawn.” 

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

 

 

 

Put your hands up! Classic “No Phones” Christmas party


We entered the very chic, very private club only to encounter a small forest of Christmas trees, a-sparkle with twinkling lights

and old-fashioned ornaments, lining both sides the long hall hallway.

A Will Ferrell sized elf stood next to a ginormous silver punch bowl.

The huge sign, framed in tiny candy. canes read:

Blank white sandwich board on a city sidewalk

                             Club Rules

As fast as people surrendered their phones, Elf and his staff gave out claim tickets.

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Some people walked away slowly, looking back, incredulous.

Others were unsure what to do next – their hands-free.

The tables were laden with cookies and cakes and Christmas candy.

Several “Beverage Stations” lined the vast hall and waitresses dressed in red velvet Mrs. Santa mini-dresses and black boots passed hors d’oeuvres.

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A tiny army of energetic elves entertained the children with tricks and treats and silliness.

The musical sound of children laughing made everybody happy.

Bing, Buble, Botticelli, Clooney belted out classic Christmas songs.

In a swirl of Ho Ho Ho, Santa arrived- and with the help of the elves, everyone received a gift.

The children beamed (some screamed.)

Meanwhile, at the the Departure Area at the club, the elves lined up all the phones numerically for quick access and smooth departures.

The party was from 12 – to four-o’clock. It was a first “Phone Free Party” and many attendees were visibly uncomfortable a first – the, were swept up in the festivities and fun.

(Open hands –  Open heart)

It was a first and the ‘New Normal’ for the club.

Check your phones outside.

>If I Ruled the World</a>

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Curling – Romancing the stone: Kizzle Kazzle?


photo_5939_20080515Romancing the stone…

Curling, the novel and  very mysterious  Scottish sport, created in the 16th century…and Everybody’s talking about the novel sport-on-ice involving great patience and a sweeping technique.

Curling involves four players and simple equipment consisting of a 42-pound stone and brooms. The players, called Sleepers, guide the stone and frantically sweep the ice with brooms. Yes, brooms.                                                

And there’s great slang like kizzle kazzle – what’s not to like about Curling?

Cynics say Curling is like watching the famous TV Yule Log, so popular on Christmas day, because both are mildly entertaining, totally relaxing and a little slow.

Tossing the First Stone

Imagine: Scotland in 1590, freezing temps, a stark and bleak landscape and frozen rivers and ponds all around.  So what else would you do after a hearty meal of haggis, laddie?   You hit the frozen lake, with a broom and a stone and: play stone!

Thus, the birth of a game.

Curious? The cool history of Curling was written in 1890 by John Kerr. The History of Curling is often regarded as one of the comprehensive histories of the sport. Not considered light reading… few have been swept away.

Party on – Leave No Stone Unturned

Have a Curling party tonight. Decorations are easy: Brooms and Ttones are all you need. Menu planning? Please – Skip the Haggis. kilt small
Go for Single Malt Scotch, Colcannon or Rumbledethumps, or Salmon.          

 Slàinte!

I want Rumbledethumps!

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Wear Mistletoe, smile more and flirt more


Your Merry Mantra:

Play hard and work soft

Yes, Virginia, tis the season to be flirting.

In my small rural hometown, most people say ‘Hello,’ and ‘Good morning,’ and ‘Hey’ as they get to work and play in the morning. Actual Eye contact is involved.

People wave and nod to one another. Men and women both hold the door for one another. You hear the word “Thanks,” a lot.

I want to hold your hand. Please.

I think there’s more hand-holding in that small town, per capita, than there is in all of San Francisco. They say in San Francisco there’s more emphasis placed on career success, than (sit down; drink optional) relationship success. What’s up with that?

No, Virginia, this more convivial behavior is not Amish, Quaker or Mormon. It’s just another mindset. Maybe it’s a throwback to the 1950’s.

It is very Mid-West.

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San Francisco needs more smiling, flirting, and mistletoe

Why do you suppose merely “Being friendly” is so foreign in San Francisco?

After a week of this time-travel-world, I recently returned to the City. As my luggage came off the carousel, I was forced back onto the merry-go-round of San Francisco, where we go so fast, we miss meeting one another.

Slow down, put that phone down and smile at someone! Now.

We’re texting, Twittering, we’re Linkedn, clicking away on Instagram and Snapchat and were on Facebook, and on variations of Matchme.com. We belong to social clubs, gyms, book clubs, bike clubs, chess clubs or teams of some sort. Really, it is still like two ships passing in the aisle at Bryan’s, Safeway or Trader Joe’s.

Hello! Hi! Hey! Over here!

Did you ever think that just as you’re going out the side door of the store- with exactly the same carefully selected food items in your recyclable bag – that your doppelganger is about to buy the same carefully selected items? And, she or he, too, will walk out, alone, with their recyclable bags?

Did we both just work out, see the same film, and go out to dinner with single friends? What are the chances we run, hike, ride, walk, stroll, or spelunk in the exact same location, at different times?

The Playground of Life

Whether you are on a merry-go-round, a slide, or a teeter-totter, you have to admit: it a bizarre time to be at the Singles Playground.

I’ll go out on a limb- unless the ground rules change to involve more people saying ‘Hey’ ‘Hello’ and ‘Good morning’, we will all be living single, solitary, parallel lives.

So close and yet, so far away.

NotJust for Christmas

Now is the Time to Flirt and Have Happy Holidays

If ever there was a time to be jolly and bright – now is the time.

Starting today: smile and say “hey” to five people (read: persons of the opposite sex sans wedding ring). Repeat. Daily. Speak to people in line at the store, on MUNI, in a cafe.

Resolve to have fun this holiday season, start today.indexmistellletoeoeoe

Get mistletoe – wear it on your lapel, on your hat- and hang it over every door you can …

I say play hard and work soft. Flirt often and carry a big smile.

Say hey, hey, hey at: Page.Larkin@gmail.comchristmabulb frame__180

What on Earth were they thinking?


The Top Dating BuzzKills: Selfies, Emojis….

“Clever Tim from Portrero Hill ” instantly alienated a half-dozen women by writing his introductory online “Flirty” email using “cute Emojis.” What he perceived as creative – women all took to be childish and primitive. Dull times three, Timbo. 

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“Devilish Denny in Danville” was very pleased with himself. He finally graduated from taking pictures of himself in the mirror to taking real “Selfies.” He was snapping a lot of Selfies… in parking lots, sitting on his friend’s Harley or with a good-looking waitress.  “Selfies, the vanity” are for rank amateurs. Delete them, Binkie.

 

Lusty Linda in Livermore calls herself a Dating Machine.  She now uses Picmonkey to enhance all of her online dating photographs. With Picmonkey, you can crop, erase, improve, and enhance any photo with a few clicks. Like magic. Linda is so good at ‘improving’ her photographs, that, unfortunately, Coffee Date Guys have walked past her – looking for a younger, thinner, woman.

Every artist was first an amateur.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Tips: The Best and Worst Opening Lines

comics-1299500__340The Good, the Bad and the Ugly?

John J. in Los Gatos is friendly, fun and flirty.

Note: Women love this. This is a “formula note” he sends out after a women has looked at his dating profile:         

Hello.  Thank you for perusing my profile. I like YOURS too. I was also lousy in Chemistry until entering the dating world. I notice you seek someone less than 47 miles away…Too bad I live 48 miles away (LOL kidding, it’s actually twice that distance;-). Three years ago I, too, lived in SF – had a wonderful apartment on Chestnut & Van Ness.  I wish we had met on-line then! I used to run in Golden Gate Park (until knee surgery ended my running career and started my cool new biking habit;-) Thanks, again for the look! Best of luck in finding that very lucky local SF Dude. Ciao Bella, John J in Los Gatos

Huge Points for John J. who is proactive, positive, flirty and friendly. His ‘form letter’ garners more attention than a wink or a one-liner. Go, John J.! frog-prince-398828__180

Mikey 68 (“A jock with bad knees but a good heart”) was a PE Major, not a creative writer,  who hired a  professional writer to enhance his online dating profile.  They talked – she took notes, and two days later, she came back with a new iamge: Michael 101.

He went from a bumbling Jimmy Kimmel to smooth Jimmy Stewart. He debated about keeping his long past profession (Veterinarian) out of the picture – she insisted he blatantly brag about being a Doctor. She said single women are on the look out for professionals. She also encouraged him to insert a passion for reading all things Jane Austen. She sent him links to Jane Austen for Dummies and The Cliff Notes.  She also changed his online name to  ‘Mr Darcy.” His opening line is, Call me Tall dark and handsome and I will follow you any where. Mr Darcy. His “ratings” went up. Way Up.

Tons of email every week:  Michael/Mr Darcy  gets a ton of winks, emails, and canned greetings from women all over the country. Whether it is his picture, his winning personality/profession as a DR,  Or his ghost-writer’s finesse in creating a faux Prince. He is only slightly embarrassed when women discover he has none of Mr Darcy’s attributes. Glib, he says Austen is ‘fiction.’  Truth or Dare? He is convinced he will meet a sweetheart. not_match-aCall me Timbo  (62, hunter, NRA devotee, catches fish with his hands)

He lives in an “A-state.” He is looking for one woman with whom to spend the rest of his life.  The other three did not work out. Clever man, got ahold of an NRA Club roster. Timbo had 200 post cards made with his picture on them. He and his son addressed and stamped all the cards with the message: “Wanted: My Last Date. Must be single and like dogs.” He got a few nibbles…nothing panned out. Next, with the help of the librarian, he joined Match.com and  wrote: “Sugar Daddy seeks Hot Mama” much to the chagrin of Marian librarian.

He was swamped with responses. At first, he was excited by all the attention. Then all the coffee shop dates, phone calls and driving “all over hell and high-water” to  meet all the s0-called “hot mamas” was exhausting.

Throwing in the towel, Timbo says, he is quitting the dating business- he prefers the company of his dogs.dog2_7501_20080925

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people

than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie

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