Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the category “Single in San Francisco”

Aging with grace and aplomb…and AARP!

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You barely blow out the candles on your 50th birthday cake

and AARP is in the mail

and on the attack…

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The times they are a changin’

 

The Man of your Dreams used to quote

Rolling Stone Magazine

and Esquire…

and, then Vanity Fair  

and The New Yorker

and now!

He is quoting from  AARP magazine…

                                                                            Say, it isn’t so.

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“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.

At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” 

Ann Landers (1918-2002)

 

 

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Graceful

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The 60’s Cosmo Girl was a Wild Child

 

WOMEN IN LITTLE BLACK DRESSES

Sex and the Single Girl, the risqué bestseller of 1962, changed the way women thought about the chase and being chaste.

Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan magazine editor, wrote the avant-garde book that instantly climbed and stayed at Best Seller status. The racy book, renown to be suggestive – in a good way- was a frothy concoction. Women in 29 countries devoured it. Mundane copies of Good Housekeeping, Redbook and SeventeenSex and the Single Girl was considered provocative required reading. magazines were kicked to the curb, as women basked in the sexy secrets and revolutionary advice for the 60’s.

At the time, The 1960’s model citizens: June Cleaver, Donna Reed and Marlo Thomas types were “out”. Gossamer gowned Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” was “in”

The Cosmopolitan magazine of that era was innovative and provocative. Today’s version of the magazine is a poor little paltry ‘zine’ and a far cry from Cosmo back in the day. Today’s version is a blend of National Enquirer, True Confessions and “I was a teenage mutant nymph-oh”.

Prolific author, Gail Sheehy, famous for her best seller, Passages, later wrote Sex and the Seasoned Woman, touting the benefits of sex and the single, married, or widowed woman over 50. She cites happy stories of women 50 and 60+ happily and successfully dating men 10 and 20 years younger. The consensus?  Everyone lives happily ever and more relaxed.   The end?   We’ve only just begun….


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I blame yoga

Today more women are lithe, supple, toned and sexy as a result of yoga. Yoga is that personal panacea that addresses both mind and body. Legions say no other endeavor can compete for multiple level results. Women don’t do yoga for the cute outfits, the brightly colored mats and matching bags or the Sigg water bottles; it’s all about energy, strength and focus. Secret Bonus: clarity, agility and yoga buns.

Namaste.

The Exodus…Are men are giving up the chase?

There is an Exodus happening.

Legions of men across the nation are folding up their tents, are quitting the Dating Game, and are going home to Bachelorville. They are resigned to a lifetime of single, solo, solitary- man- time.

Talk to Single Men of an Age:  The report is in: Some men readily admit say they are victims of excruciating divorces…followed by years of  disappointing experiences on the dating post divorce scene.

The readers have spoken and  say: A lot of divorced men 50+  try dating again… many after hiatus of 10 or 20 or 30 years.  Many lament that dating today is so fast and foreign – they are having a hard time getting a leg up.

Some men simply say dating and  the chase isn’t worth the bother. They say “the  dating game” is  time consuming and too high maintenance.  They claim can’t remember the pace – what comes first?  Greg M  said  “When you were once a “10” and you wake up single – 25 years later –  you realize, uh oh –  you are  20 pounds heavier, balding, have grown children and 4 grandchildren. The hot red sports car  morphed into a mini van -decades ago… How can  you possibly  still think you are a “10” and on top of your game?”

And, what is your game? Solitaire?

Yoga instructor and Nurse practitioner, Cindy, 27, reports that the older men she runs across in bars are her father’s age. She and her coterie call the older guys  ‘Salty dogs’  and ‘A Free Dinner.’ That’s cold.

This guy says: You Otter Know Better

Tall, dashing and handy, Clive said he had given up on women.

He said women are like otters… that they band together, are happy to be in one another’s company, travel together, dine together and have no need for male companionship.

They simply float down the river of life, happy little ottters.  No boys allowed.

What do women say? Readers write in to say they are initially daunted ~ then exhilarated  ~ by being Suddenly Single and entering the new world of DATING AGAIN…

Others, blindsided by a classic  divorce debacle – throw in the towel and are recovering…renewing energies and getting a new lease on life.

The Exodus may be in biblical proportions~in some cities…

San Francisco has to be the exception.san-fran

Tell me what you think….page.larkin@gmail.com

You MAE go WEST, young man


The Best: Mae West Quotes

Mae West was witty, ribald, risque and naughty. She was also very smart.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

  • A hard man is good to find.
  • A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.



A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
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Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

  • He who hesitates… is a damned fool.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.




Unfurl

What on Earth were they thinking?


The Top Dating BuzzKills: Selfies, Emojis….

“Clever Tim from Portrero Hill ” instantly alienated a half-dozen women by writing his introductory online “Flirty” email using “cute Emojis.” What he perceived as creative – women all took to be childish and primitive. Dull times three, Timbo. 

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“Devilish Denny in Danville” was very pleased with himself. He finally graduated from taking pictures of himself in the mirror to taking real “Selfies.” He was snapping a lot of Selfies… in parking lots, sitting on his friend’s Harley or with a good-looking waitress.  “Selfies, the vanity” are for rank amateurs. Delete them, Binkie.

 

Lusty Linda in Livermore calls herself a Dating Machine.  She now uses Picmonkey to enhance all of her online dating photographs. With Picmonkey, you can crop, erase, improve, and enhance any photo with a few clicks. Like magic. Linda is so good at ‘improving’ her photographs, that, unfortunately, Coffee Date Guys have walked past her – looking for a younger, thinner, woman.

Every artist was first an amateur.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

EarthLust

Men are like fine wine

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This was sent to Page Larkin

by Evelyn J.  age 88

A Real Man

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

Bronze buddah in the parkHe will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be her most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible self.

Hearts on a line

No, wait!  I’m sorry…I’m thinking of wine.

Never mind.

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Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent

offers a Three-hour Dating Mojo workshop every month.

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

 Saturdays  TBA 10 AM to 1 PM

 

  • Cost: $49
  • Limit: eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (Additional  Information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com *photo_11785_20090615peacock*******//******

Here are 5 Easy Ways to get  ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’ and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking text/emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF)
  3. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The recent foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.  Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel: Suddenly Single Date World
  4. Volunteer Check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations- St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion..
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is delicious.

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes
FACT: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed:

Men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons. Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

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Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,

Sing as if no one is listening, 

Love as if you have never been hurt, 

and Dance as if no one is watching”

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sad man

 A fear of dating?

Now is the Time to curb your “Fear of Dating”

What are you afraid of, Binkie?

So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box, Right off the shelf, and new to the dating game?

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester. Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:

The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone

2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten

3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage

4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking

5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex

6. Gynophobia – fear of women

7. Hominophobia -fear of men

8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed

9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons

10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night.

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:

“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Smart Women – Dumb Choices?


Best ADVICE:  Hide your IQ  and 
Show your bra strap…

Hey, smarty pants!

The University of Chicago describes itself  as The place fun came to die.”

September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice.  My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you.  In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”

The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her.  Enrapt.

“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”

Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”

“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”

Lingering in Lingerie

The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused. Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.

Do smart women intimidate men?

There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.

And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.

The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.

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“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;  

all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority

belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, 

and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.”

Virginia Woolf

 

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

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Men are like dogs? AKA: The perfect boyfriend

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Men are like dogs? Says who?

Chanel, aka ‘Ms. K-9 of Nob Hill’ is the famous neighborhood dog walker. She is tall and lean, with an impressive mane of long, silver hair and always has a cadre of canines in tow.

You see Chanel on California Street and Powell Street, slogging up Washington Street with her pack of dogs of all different sizes, colors, and breeds.

She runs a tightly orchestrated canine parade. Ms K-9 of Nob Hill is free with quick commands, kibbles and treats for her motley crew. She has a smattering of little white pooches and some pedigrees and others with no degrees.

Without as much as a prompt, she shared her philosophical position on dating and men. The Downward Dog? No.

She started her diatribe comparing men and dogs – however, with a little softening around the edges and and finessing her observations, we concluded:

The top 6reasons a great guy is like a good dog:

  1. The perfect boyfriend is loyal.
  2. He comes when he’s called.
  3. He appreciates a treat.
  4. He gives you unconditional love and is always happy to see you.
  5. The perfect boyfriend always has your back.
  6. He waits, patiently, for you to finish your dinner.

That’s all!

If you want to be fetching and more popular with the ladies, all you have to do is emulate ‘man’s best friend.’

And, you might want to  loyal, cheerful, helpful, friendly, courteous and brave…all are keys to your success.

Got a Fear of Dating – please curb your sexophobia

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Fresh out-of-the-box.  Right off the shelf.  Right off  the boat. Dating neophytes

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the Dating Game. For some, getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade or two ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed. And,  the game is faster and the ‘uniforms’ are a lot shorter. The days of yore-  courting and being coy – are as out dated as hot pants and polyester.

Are you afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations.

There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things).

For your information:

The Top 10 Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – fear of women
7. Hominophobia – fear of men
8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night/

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself –

nameless, unreasoning, unjustified,

terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Sweet Revenge turns sour?

Merriane was very angry that Matt gave her the,

“You are too good for me” line.

They had been dating – hot and heavy- for three months and she was sure he was “The One.” They got along famously in every room of the house. He could cook, clean, shop, do laundry and did his best work in the bedroom. She had no complaints. And no clue.

She laughed when she told her girlfriends she would revel in  a weekend of Chick Flicks and enjoy a lavish Menage a Trois – with Ben and Jerry. They knew she wasn’t kidding, The company had just introduced four new flavors: Truffle Kerfuffle, Urban Bourbon, Candy Bar Pie and Half Baked. She claimed it was Chocolate Therapy.

Merriane  thought she paper the neighborhood with Matt UNwanted posters. Or she might do a ‘Blog a Bitch’  about her ex-boyfriend. She decided upon a thinly veiled account: Dirty little secrets – his worst fears,  awful things he said about his friends and family.  Next,  she would take anything he left behind and begin auctioning it off on eBay or put it on the street with a “free “sign on it.

On a sugar high, she started her movie marathon with Thelma and Louise, Beaches, Mystic Pizza, and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

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“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor was her Mantra and her top song of the day –

followed closely by “Cry Me a River, “These Boots Are Made for Walking”  and,  You’re So Vain.

All it took was a couple of pints, a movie marathon, huge success on eBay, Break up songs blaring through the house, a good night’s sleep and the pity party was over.

Merriane knew she was alone,  

but more importantly, she was now available.

Like Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air – she was back in the game.

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Paper

The demand to be loved, Binkie?

“Hug me, kiss me, love me!”

“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche

Molly the Millennial whined it was “hard” dating and then really a challenge being in a relationship. She said it was “Super hard to share and to be around someone all day and all night long.”

Listen up, Babycakes – you are not ready for a big-girl relationship.

Long-term relationships are sublime and wonderful. Having a partner – a playmate- a sounding board – a companion, a lover and a best friend to share the Joy! the fun, challenges and ups and downs all day and all night, is the best.

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Having someone to hold hands with is one of the best things ever. Walking across Fifth Avenue, Champs Elysees, the PCH, the Golden Gate Bridge or into a wedding, a funeral or party and having a loving partner is not only reassuring, calming, gratifying- it is  exciting.

Yes, Binkie, you might have to share a closet, a bed, a bathroom and your deepest fears and secrets. Having somebody who thinks you are the best thing since Brioche French toast with butter and real maple syrup is a happy thing.

(Psst! There is really  no need to get into the “getting horizontal” aspect a long term relationship.)

When you’re ready, my little Millennial, you’ll be ready.

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Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love that makes the world go round.

Lewis Carroll

 

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