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How to avoid San Francisco, Thanksgiving and traffic snarls



Thanksgiving  

and “What will the neighbors say?”

The Bridge and Tunnelers flooded into San Francisco by land and by sea. They came from the burbs to the City for shopping, dining, theater, and more shopping.

Every parking lot in Union Square was bulging at the scene. For days, gaggles of tourists crossed on the “Don’t Walk” and bumped into one another and nary a single, “Pardon me,” or “Excuse me,” was heard.

Legendary hot spots were full. Friday afternoon, many of the hotel bars were standing room only. The lobby scene at the Hilton, the Hyatt’s, Hotel Nikko, the Drake and Marriott was chaotic.

The Clift Hotel, once famously elegant and refined, is now a twenty something hangout. Girls showed up in the mini-est of skirts with arm-fulls of clanging bracelets and snakes of tangled necklaces from H&M. Hoodies and boots are de rigueur. The Redwood Room– once a haven for socialites, debutantes, power lunches and real Mad Men is a whisper of it’s former self.

Everyone must get boots!

Epidemic proportions of boots were walking on Geary and Market Streets. Evidently, black boots are best – and the higher the better, but Uggs work. Uggs have moved into the Big-Bling-Sequin category. Dare you to walk into any shoe store and not stumble upon dozens of black boots on display. Next look around: what percentage of shoppers are wearing or buying black boots?

Ironic – not iconic

Guys were in faux- ironic T-shirts, tight pants, their dad’s Wing-tips. (Hush Puppies have come and gone, again) Tight fitting cowboy shirts are back. (see JCPenney’s $12 on Cyber Monday and also see sheplers.com.) Black jeans are a uniform.

Black pants: a man walks into a bar

Every woman in line to buy a cup of coffee is wearing black pants – whether they are yoga pants, (Lululemon are banned by women of all thigh size)   leggings, Jeggings, crops, or running pants. Is there another color in your palette?

Welcome Neighbor?

Our neighbors, the Bridge and Tunnelers from a world away- the suburbs – come and heartily boost our economy.

They see, they shop, dine around  and return home to their predictable, safe, much quieter neighborhoods. Thanks, for coming by.

 

 

From “Date Night Bridge and Tunnelers”

Home again, home again:

The Bridge and Tunnelers are torn. Can they admit a trip to San Francisco was tedious, depressing and exorbitant? They found the restaurants too rich for their blood. The streets were dirty and a small army of homeless was sleeping in doorways. Parking was a nightmare and getting out of the jam-packed garage felt like Sisyphus – going nowhere fast.

As they pulled into their own garages, the Over the Bridge through the Tunnelers are relieved and relaxed to be home and they wonder: what ever to happened to San Francisco?

http://marinsuddenlysingle.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/no-parking-in-san-francisco-meter-maids-gone-wild/

https://suddenlysingleminded.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/san-francisco-date-night-bridge-and-tunnelers/

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Ouch! Welcome to Japantown:


Ouch! Newly minted Police officers are parked on (westbound) Geary Boulevard at Laguna Street – ready to pounce! Captain KK Sullivan sends all the “New Cops on the Block” to practice Ticket Writing as approximately 23 people – per shift- miss the “No Left Turn on Red” Sign posted way up high…the Sign is located two-stories above the street.  

What are the City of San Francisco Rules and Reg are: Signage and Sightlines?

 

 

 

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Reading between the lines on online dating profiles?

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Expect a little: “To Tell the Truth”  a bit of  “I’ve Got a Secret”  and some “Dark Shadows”

Dating Soap Operas:

Reading dating profiles on Eharmony, Match.com, or Tinder can be dizzying. As you wade through a minefield of clichés and brags, you wonder how to decipher this barrage of data. Is there some kind of code? Where do you get a romance Rosetta stone?

The answer? Read between the lines and take it all with a grain of salt. Okay, maybe a shaker of salt.


Due diligence and deciphering

Steven D. wrote that he ‘hailed from the citrus belt of California’  (Orange County, Republican). He reads the New Yorker and legal stuff (lawyer).

He loves debating (argumentative) and says his two kids are his best friends (uh-oh.)  He says he’s tired of restaurants (cheap) and prefers TV dinners on the couch (yawn)  In his profile photo, taken from afar,  Steven D. commits a grave error by wearing the egregious hat and sunglasses (hiding: bad hair, no hair, squinty eyes, tattoos). More red flags.



To Tell the Truth

Ricki  writes that she ‘likes Jenga and Scrabble‘ (couch potato) and her cats.  She says she is s “A  big woman, with a big heart and big fun.” No mystery there; Mickey’s candid photograph indicates the same. Give her credit: she is honest and to the point.

‘Walter Mitty Mike’ should be a fiction writer

Despite his friend’s protestations, Mike writes that he is “a doctor with three North Bay offices; he collects old cars, has a place in the mountains, and  a pied-a-terre in the City, in addition, he collects French wines.”

His best friends will tell you, actually, the veterinarian business is slow, so Mike works three days a week all over Petaluma and Novato; he drives a great old truck; has a Rambler and a Corvair; and he has a big tent, in the summer, above Truckee. His place in the City? He camps out with a buddy in a studio apartment in SOMA, where the two like to party and paint the town beige. Mike likes a good story and tells one — after another.

Someone has to tell him Ménage a Trois is not a French wine. And, that there is a time and place for everything.

photo_6972_20080817“I am a Barbie Doll”  writes her entire profile in uppercase letters.

Those in the know say, beware: possible anger issues here.  Barbie says she’s “spontaneous to a fault” (red flags flashing). This generally translates to disorganized, ditzy, and unpredictable. All are qualities some men might … cherish. Or not. Clever Barbie writes she is looking for a Ken doll with a Maserati…or Porsche…Millionaire.com didn’t work out for her. Tsk.

There are a lot of stories in “The Dated City”

Remember: Honesty is the best policy and the truth will set you free — and help you avoid embarrassing situations. Give online dating a whirl and have fun out there.

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: Page.Larkin@gmail.com

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Dating newbie? Bewitched, bothered and bewildered?

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Dreams – the stuff Dates are based upon…

 

Yes, Binkie, it is true:  “Dating at 50” can be a challenge – in the best of times.

 You already discovered there is no harmony on eHarmony? And a long time ago found that Craigslist was a nightmare of creepy/anonymous “Not-my-types?”

Perhaps Match.com linked you up with the wacky, too thin, too hyper ballerina or shock- jock like Charlie Sheen- who actually need Two and Half Men in white coats? Swiping on Tinder can give you whiplash or depression.

Okay, so dating and developing your social networking 2018 has not been a laughing matter.

Who Moved My Rules?

Since your very First Date of Yore- the Rules of Dating have changed dramatically. If you remember San Francisco’s randy fern-bar days (Henry Africa’s, Thomas Lord’s, and Paoli’s) and you are A Classic “Re-enter and Suddenly Single in San Francisco Dater”

Buckle up, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

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First of all, the Dating Playing Field you remember is no longer level and things have gotten a whole lot faster.  (And the uniforms are really short!) Don’t even start to talk about scoring and making points. You will have to adjust and get up to speed. There are hundreds of websites comparing, contrasting and social networks (Dating Sites) for you to explore.

Dating 2018 versus Dating 20 Years Ago

Once upon a time, you may have known the pace, the place, and the attire and could do all Three Modes of Communication: pithy, banter, and clever repartee.

Update: 2018 The once revered Art of Conversation has been pushed off the pedestal to make room for text messaging, e-mail, swiping, smart phones, and, smile, you are on Skype. Don’t get me started on Tinder.

So Many Books, So Little Time

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man has shards of wisdom scattered throughout. Stroll down the aisles of your library and pick up three or four dating books.(Dating for Dummies is really a treasure trove. As is, the classic : He is Just Not That Into You 

The best selling dating how-to-book, The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a lark and a laugh and is peppered with some pretty good ideas for dating at 50.

Hot Tips: Get off the couch and out of the house. Don’t waste time on a dead-end relationship. Notice the red flags and move on. Whoever asks, pays.

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And, if things get dicey, remember those two magic words, ‘Check, please!”

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss – a single Page Larkin column – click the Subscribe button.love computer

“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.”

Daniel Boone

Confused

Sugar n spice or frogs and snails? Boys vs. girls on the dance floor

And the ladies begin the Beguine….

What are little boys made of?  What about little girls: Sugar and spice and everything nice?

The Dance of the Sexes: The Evite said come to a dance- filled experiment in “Sexual Energy Escape.”

Sixty  people showed up to a makeshift Berkeley ballroom in a funky warehouse space to participate in the dance event. Thirty men and thirty women, all 40 to 50-something, by invitation only – facilitated by dancer, Rainbea Kanyon.

How do you begin the Beguine?  

Our host, a barefoot Amazon with a wild halo of blonde frizzy hair, wore a simple muslin chemise over an incredible muscular and toned body. As floods of people arrived and checked coats, we were told: no talking, remove our shoes, hydrate continually and commence dancing. C’est fini.

On the dance floor…

May I have this Dance?

Start dancing? In a bizarre turn of events, the men gravitated to one side – women on another. The music was a mélange– Keith Jarrett segued into the Rolling Stones, Satie, and Sinatra, blended into Techno followed by a slice of Lawrence Welk then hip-hop. Chubby Checker’s “Let’s Twist Again”  lit up the room everyone went wild and laughed. Michael Jackson hits then  Joan Jett & The Black Hearts sang “I Love Rock & Roll” followed by “Spirit In The Sky” – Norman Greenbaum. There was never a moment of silence. Nor could you anticipate the eclectic music.

And the fans go wild

The music changed and became more drum oriented, the men naturally started in what looked like war dances, rain dances, conga lines, stomping, doing a kind of Samoan chest thumping, with big, bold gestures.


As music became more animated – loud drums pulsing and hypnotic- first two- then 10 men began crawling- on- their -bellies- like reptillies – two men shoulder to shoulder, forming a snake were slithering around the dance floor. Laughing….We women were amused and confused. How did this cadre of men – total strangers – end up bonding and slithering?

Girls just want to have fun

Women wafted, soft-shoed, floated, were jazzy, sexy and did salsa, hula and rhumba; we did a whole lot of swaying, shimmy and shimmer. Men jumped, stomped, pranced, and war danced, several tried break dancing.                    

Dancing fools~~~~

The men were stealing the show.     

The music changed, again, and the men were high energy, brio, bravado, and gusto.  As a rule, the women were tripping the light fantastic, doing a bit of ballet, belly dancing, jete, some threw in a little yoga, a dash of Pilates, even some Jazzercise reared its ugly head. Rainbeau encouraged, inspired, motivated, and vitalized the group.

Everyone appeared to be having fun – the men, on the other side, appeared to be having way more fun. Rainbea told us to form a   a circle and we danced, lugging,smiling, flirting and everyone dissolved into couples…

Men and women on the dance floor of life – so much more fun heart -to -heart and holding hands.

What is the Secret to happiness? Low Expectations?


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Humorist Dave Barry said:

“What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.

What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

 

Dear Page Larkin: Help with online dating

Dear Page,

Help! I’ve had three “first dates” with three different women who all came on like gangbusters. I met each for a drink at a quiet bar on Geary Boulevard. I am a prince when it comes to easing into conversations. Each of these women “Cut to the chase” within three minutes of nice to meet you-How was your day-where do you work-small talk.

Wanda One want to know how I felt about Collin Kaepernick and the Bob Woodward’s book, “Fear.”

Tessie Two, ordered the glass of water (really?) That was a first.  She asked me, within minutes, why my most recent relationship failed and where I saw myself in five years. I sipped my Chardonnay, swirled around the glass a bit and looked at her. I smiled at her and asked her how her day was.

I can tap dance around questions à la Fred Astaire-but these  women were so off-putting. It took a while for them to settle down and put their ironclad agendas aside.

The grand finale, (I was noticing a trend) 

 Tessie Three seemed lovely and polite; however, within the first five minutes she asked me just how deeply I had fallen in love and what were my true intentions with online dating?  Finally, she asked if I’ve ever cheated. And, why.

All this before “What’s your major; do you come here often; and, what do you do for living?”

I’m thinking each  these women (in their 30’s) exhibited a quiet desperation (Procreation time clock ticking?) and want to spend as little time as possible in the romance dance.  What’s up with this new tactic? 

Shocked on San Bruno

Dear Shocked San Bruno

As it turns out, some deem small talk and initial a public conversation a waste of time. I’ve met women who insist life is short and they have no reason to tiptoe around- they want to test the guy first.

Dealing is not a test; it’s more like a dance where one meets, converses, ascertains. If there’s a connection,  bombarding anybody with personal questions at first light is more than just impolite.

I’m convinced she’s out there keep looking, San Bruno

Love,  Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I have been single-divorced for five years. At first, dating again was fun. I met the good, the bad, and the ugh. I dated a dozen different guys before I met a very special man. We went steady for year. Gradually, the façade cracked bigtime and I clearly realized he wasn’t “the one.”

Now that I’m back in the dating pool, I’ve met several men who have asked me the most personal /intense questions regarding my failed marriage-my goals and aspirations-last relationship challenges. I’m shocked. What happened to getting to know you?  Is this a new trend – or just plain rude?

Leilani in Hilo

Dear Leilani in Hilo,

You’re not the first to  comment about this attack dog technique on first dates. I’ve met a number of people who feel they don’t want to waste time on a dead-end date. Why would you even show up for a coffee date, if you think there’s a possibility of the person being a dead-end? Why would you ask deep personal questions unless you want to alienate the person?

More people are won over by courteous and thoughtful manners- than aggressive behavior.  Have fun out there!

Love, Page

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Two kinds of men online? Are you a wolf or a puppy?

Online dating-  there are two kinds of guy.

The first guy is of the candy store mentality: Booya! Life is a buffet. Let me put you in my little black book – I’ll call ya! We’ll call him Phil Anderer.

Then there is the more patient, sincere guy – more of a one relationship at a time – sweet and attentive; women call him Prince Charming.

Or: One Date at a Timephoto_1021_20060206

Eventually, Roger- the 62 year old, suddenly-single dating neophyte – was dating.

Sally was a “perfect match’ and he was enjoying her company and concerts, exploring San Francisco and the comfortable companionship.

His buddy, Big Daddy ( aka Mike B from law school days) invited him to join a Marin men’s group. It was an intense knot of over-achievers, trust fund boys, and a few strikingly handsome metro-sexuals (who would later espouse the need for facials, eyebrow-shaping, and a wardrobe of eyeglasses) who talked about their feelings and treating women-all women (wives, lovers, trysts,) with respect.

Big Daddy- a self-appointed coach- took Roger by the hand and ‘guided’ him. He readily shared his well-honed philosophy on life, love, ladies, community, and the “basic human need for a variety of sexual partners.”

He reminded his conservative pal, that after 30 years with the same woman, it was time to make up for lost time. Life was a buffet – he encouraged his Roger to dive in. Big Daddy would show him the way.

Although very enamored with Sally, whom he had been happily dating for weeks – he was taken with the idea of a lazy Susan of sexual partners.

Meanwhile, back at The Commune

Big Daddy’s unusual living arrangement had Roger imagining a Bob, Ted, Carol, and Alice scenario: Bed hopping, one-night stands and casual trysts.  Roger thought it sounded delicious. They did a walk-through of the property. Roger was impressed by the organic vegetable garden, the meditation rooms, the vast hot tub, fire pits near the  deck, a sauna for 10, and a  remarkable, sunken living room with wall-to-wall mattresses. Big Daddy called it the “Party Room.” There were solar panels on every building and lots of hugs and kisses as Roger met “The Crew.” Everyone hugged and kissed. Nice.

Like a Black Lab, panting with excitement, Roger wanted to know where to sign up.

And so it began…

Being an ethical man – in all fairness, Roger felt like he had to share his new lifestyle opportunity with Sally.

In a perfect world, she would be part of his harem.

He would break the news that night after dinner.

Gator20081017Sally called it  

The Last Supper and Bon Voyage, Loser!

Worst Online Dating Pix?

Don’t try this at home

Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words and in the wild, wonderful, world of online dating – you must put your best photo forward.

Here are the worst of the day:

 

 

 

Take you time, ask a friend to assit with taking and selecting the most flattering photos.

There is only you and your camera.

The limitations in your photography are in yourself,

for what we see is what we are.

Ernst Haas

Are all Ex’s like a pair of Levis?


Virginia says,” Ex-husbands are like a pair of Levis.

When they are new, you love them. You take care of them and they fit you. They look good on you and they go with everything.

Then they began to wear a little thin. And they’re not so great anymore.

They are a let down. A zipper may break.  You might experience the heartbreak of broken zipper or a broken vow.

Then, let’s say after 8+ years of wear and tear and in some situations, those Levis don’t fit your life…

You have problems with style, shape, communication.

You wake up one day and realize you might have to go to a tailor for a repair… or even get professional help.

Conclusion: It’s not a perfect fit.

You conclude one day: those old Levis are not only uncomfortable, worn out and  out of style… You deserve better.

You deserve designer jeans.

Really good, supportive, a  great fit…you deserve the best.

Are you a Raya Reject? Join the club

Making the Raya Cut- The hip connector for creative types

Emily – 40+, (former ski bunny, model, sail boat captainess, chef extraordinare) is a very attractive woman.

She has been around the block with online dating sites  and was on a “social sabbatical.” Then, she heard about Raya. The exclusive, haughty for hotties-only site. Sadly, thousands of people have been RAYA-jected from the $8.00 a month dating site.

The You Must Have List for memebership is long: You must be hip and hot and have 1000 Instagram followers; a Raya-enrolled friend must “refer” you and no dullards or dotards need apply- you must have an interesting occupation (doctor, tailor, candlestick maker?)

Are you a Barbie or a Barney?

Ask-Jean_Which-Is-Worse-UV-Rays-or-Self-Tanner-Ingredients_TRU1283105-2Araya designs BaBy Toys

pexels-photo-219619.jpeg Cellestte is a photo-GRAPHER

Our Friend Emily went to work and  “liked” several hundred more Instagram folks in a matter of hours, and her numbers of followers crept up and well over 2000. Bam!       She reached out and touched a lot of people…she was looking for a Raya Royal (aka  Raya member.) Within two hours she had tracked down friends of friends: two sisters – both members – both happy to promote her. Double Bam! They gave her ‘scoops and warnings.” The New York Times said Raya rejects 92% of the applicants…fortunately, our Emily is very connected and stunning and driven.

It took time. She threw her head back and laughed when the sisters told her a committeee of 500 would vote her on or off the island. Just like high school: when the Junior and Senior girls (aka Mean Girls) would deem who would be popular.

Finally, Selected!  

Haute to Trot…she downloaded the app and away she went to …the farthest thing from a ray a sunshine. Her new friends said – tongue in cheek – Raya is for famous people like Amy Schumer.  Didn’t she meet that infamous, moody guy, who went from  waiter to chef around Martha’s Vineyard?  Who knows?

Emily spent hours cruising…looking…seeking- she kept seeing the word ‘classy.’ Her mother told her, a long time ago, people who use the word – aren’t. 

She says she started playing the violin at five, was in the famed Girl’s Choir, studied both opera and ballet one summer -nevermind where….or for how long – it all looked good on paper.

Within days, Emily was seeing a lot of Paris Hilton types…she guessed she was accepted as a novelty…her daddy was also very successful…she said she attended Stanford ( indeed: a summer school class on film) and Punaho Prep in Honolulu – like Obama – (a summer school romp.)

Meat Market or Meet Market? The jury is out and ‘Emily with the razzle dazzle lifestyle’  (certainly not her real name) is treading lightly.

Not one to put all her eggs in one basket…Emily is still on the prowl….

 

Her idea of a great date? Eating?

Diana changed her name to Lady Di when she signed up for online dating sites.            At first, she played cute and flirty. She listed a ton of fun activities (copied from the Bay Guardian) and posted an obscure photo of herself.  She was delighted with the flood of attention. She responded to each and every wink, note, and query.  She found 50% were dead-ends: no response. Quelle bummer.

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On a whim,  she listed her Top 10 Favorite Places in San Francisco. There was no mention of Golden Gate Park, museums, cafes or bars, special events, the Presidio, Chinatown, DogPatch or the SF Giants. This is whot she wrote:

My Top 10 Places

1. Neighbor Bakehouse = Cinammon Almond Bostock
2. B Patisserie = Choco-yum-croissant
3. Zanze’s Cheesecake = The Classic Cheesecake
4. Ariscault = All Yummy Croissants
5. Yasukochis Japantown = 1960’s Classic Coffee Crunch Cake
6. Chili Pies Baking Co.= Berry, Chococlate, Every Pie
7. Dynamo Donuts = Famed Decadent Donuts
8. Golden Gate Bakery = Egg Tart to die for
9. Mr Holmes Bakehouse = The Famous Cruffin, 
10. La Luna Cupcakes = Six Pack Cupcakes
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Lady Di said very few men responded to her lovingly created and curated list. And she was perplexed. She thought, for sure, her long list would attract somebody of a like mind. Zip. Nada. Zero.

When we met for the first appointment, she admitted to the dead end she hit with her sharing of her food passion. She was very perplexed and had no idea what she had done “wrong.” When I asked Lady Di what her favorite activities were, without hesitation, she admitted “Eating.”

Her weekends were dedicated to exploring new restaurants, ice cream stores, and bakeries. She really had no use for exercise, sporting events, touring, biking, or long walks. 

We spent an hour digging deep looking for other interests. She used to knit, used to ride bikes, went to Napa wine tastings, had dance lessons and  attended multiple sporting events and, one day: she didn’t. Getting Diana to admit to what the pivotal event was to turn her from (30 lbs lighter) an active, outgoing woman to a “Foodie,” ws the result of two more meetings.

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to be continued…

 

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