Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the category “Dating over 50”

Do Nice Guys Finish First?

The Game of Love – Keeping Score

hipster-358479__180Everyone knows a so-called nerd.

He is your brother, cousin, uncle, neighbor, or best friend. Generally, he is very smart and perhaps lacking social graces (i.e. the Old Joke: When they were giving out personality traits in Heaven St Peter said, “Who wants a good Personality?” All the nerds heard “Who wants Periodontal disease?” and all said, “Not me!”)

My pal, George is the nicest nerd you ever met:  he is smart off the charts, very patient and kind. He is an inventor – he loves gizmos and gadgets and spread sheets. And, he has always been pretty  shy around girls.

He says he tried Online Dating once: he met one women. She wasnt his “style.”

Undaunted, he did some analysis. It appeared his taller, Lacrosse playing, tall, blonde, slim friends got more action than he did. In no time, he created four different profiles on Match, two on OKCupid and one on Plenty of Fish.

It didn’t take a genius (although he is one) to determine what captured a woman’s attention.George will tell you he went from being a short, scientist to a being a taller, more interesting, creative writer, overnight.Bam!

OK Cupid has a blog that explains the most popular buzzwords for men to attract female attention. Plenty of Fish also offers free advice on attention-getting devices.

Research over Drinks

While quaffing a beer at Perry’s, his old pal, Biff  (prepped at Exeter/Yale) told George what to look for in a woman.

Biff generously provided his Perfect Woman /Top Five /Must Have List

 Must Have:

  1. A healthy and fit body which delights
  2. She must be financially solvent.
  3. Must be emotionally warm, generous, and accessible
  4. She must come from a happy home life, with parents who were happy and loved her.
  5. She must love children; and will meet the challenges of parenting with empathy, humor, and wisdom

Now, George knew braggadacio Biff didn’t have a fraction of the things on his My Ideal Woman List…Biff was twice divorced, his parents were lushes who vacationed separately; each had flings and trysts and affairs all their married lives. Biff didn’t have a real job and the trust fund was dwindling.

George went back to drawing board- every day -and tweaked, improved, and enhanced the truth.

In a short while, George (aka Rodney, Ted, Billy) actively tested the dating waters.  And slowly and clearly he discovered what women want. In time, he tossed his façade profiles – research completed.

George was on Match for one month before he met Megan.Their first phone call lasted 40 minutes – smart guy (“Leave them wanting more”) and he begged off.

Their first date lasted four hours and they have been exclusive ever since.

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“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche

Egg

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Put the brakes on speed dating workshops?

High atop a hill in beautiful San Francisco, a new Dating Workshop was slated to “To rival all others.”

The attendees were nestled all tight in their seats with visions of horizontal happiness dancing in their heads.

Mica Glassworthy was the guest speaker and the topic was “Speed Dating for those stuck in First Gear”
Mica was tall, lithe, dressed in silver from head to toe – very Prada, Hermes, Manola Blahnik…her carefully coiffed hair was remarkable – and all the women were remarking…
The large bustling audience was comprised of  women over 50 who were ‘game’ to try something new. That was the tag line on all the flyers and in the email blast: Try something new.


I had been ready to try something new for a long time. At the time, my maiden voyagae of three months on Internet dating had been a roller coaster ride – with very high highs and some lonely lows. Quelle bummer.

Ms Bored Stiff sat next to me and heaved a huge sigh. She looked at me and in an accusatory tone, head her tilted, said, “What are you doing here?” I laughed – and told her, “Research. I’m trying something new.”
She shook her head and said, “Where are all the fat girls? This room is crawling with Bay Club-Rats. Look at this crowd.”


I looked around – granted, a number of the women looked like “Wind Tunnel 101′ – thats code for “Face lifted” and way too many G’s.”

Mica was well spoken, elegant and dry. She had multiple lists of statistics on dating at 50; dating in San Francisco; second marriages and success rates. Her hand outs were accepted by the attendees and we promplty placed them in our hand bags.

As our expert droned on, the natives grew increasingly restless. Glances were exchanged, eyes were rolled and heads were shaking. We were not there for a symposium- we wanted answers, tips, clues, websites.

The Inmates Take over the Workshop

The attendees later agreed, the only list we wanted was a list of Hot Spots in San Francisco to meet men. We exchanged stories on our nightmare dates.

Truthfully, Mica lost control of the workshop and the ladies did what women do best : we talk – we share – we inform.

Okay, so I did  a wee bit more sharing than most.

See Here: Phobias and Fear of Dating

and Three’s a Crowd;

New Faces on Match.com

 

Dance by the Light of the Moon? Oh, yeah!

Come dance with me…

Ooh, by the light, by the light, of the silvery moon
We gonna dance by the light of the moon
From the light, from the light of the silvery moon
We gonna dance …yeah….

I’m gonna dance with my darlin’
With a hole in her stockin’
Knees keep a-rockin’
Toes keep a-poppin’
Gonna dance with my darlin’
With a hold in her stockin’
Dance by the light of the moon

Aging with grace and aplomb…and AARP!

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You barely blow out the candles on your 50th birthday cake

and AARP is in the mail

and on the attack…

alarm clock

The times they are a changin’

 

The Man of your Dreams used to quote

Rolling Stone Magazine

and Esquire…

and, then Vanity Fair  

and The New Yorker

and now!

He is quoting from  AARP magazine…

                                                                            Say, it isn’t so.

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“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.

At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” 

Ann Landers (1918-2002)

 

 

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Graceful

You MAE go WEST, young man


The Best: Mae West Quotes

Mae West was witty, ribald, risque and naughty. She was also very smart.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

  • A hard man is good to find.
  • A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.



A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
 kiss

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

  • He who hesitates… is a damned fool.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.




Unfurl

Dating 101:Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

dice-161376__180 Q. Do you Yelp?

 A. Only If I am pinched!

Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Dear Page,

I am 43, single again and decided to start over – and date younger women. I went online – decided to look for women on Yelp. I am a big Yelp Review Dude. In three months, I have dated six much younger women – all dead ends.

First, I met Danniey – she said she was “26 and a restaurant critic.” Curious, I asked her where she had recently dined she sent me her three recent reviews. This is “whot she wrote”

Too Fat: This place is by far the worst burger place I have went to.

Coming into Fat Burger, three people greeted us. I thought that was so sweet of them. Not a lot of burger joints will greet you that way. Anyways, it took my friend and I a while to figure out what we want. They go by weight of the meat and you have options of toppings to put on your burger

My friend and I got the same meal! Which was the 1/3 burger. The only difference between our food was that I got curly fries and he got skinny fries.

Fowl Play: Once before I got fried chicken with their tartar sauce with sides of rice and potato salad. My food came out and it looked delicious. In my opinion, the portion of the chicken were so big that it was really filling. I enjoyed the potato salad on the side.

It was my friend’s birthday and we decided to drink before we decided to go to this place. It was a little after 10:30pm when we ordered and my friends and I were super hungry. To be honest, I don’t remember being too loud but according to one of the workers there, we were being “way too loud” The owner says,”We’re closed, the kitchen is closed.” Apparently she was trying to kick us out. We will not go back. Ever.

We went to Fishermans Grotto in Frisco – very high class. Really good place to have clam chowder when you are near the Pier. They had two types of clam chowder (Boston and I forgot what the other one was called.) Both served in a bread bowl of desired. I also ordered calamari. It was good but not the best I have had. The place was really fancy and high classed.

On the phone, – she is a sweet girl. I was thinking Eliza Dolittle – then, decided against it.

Next was Shenikqua –  29, divorced, outgoing, friendly and lives in the Mission. Her Yelp handle is “On  a mission.” We spoke on the phone – she really wanted me to go her nail salon with her. She sent me her Yelp review – and this is what she wrote:

Darn, be pretty is taking too much of my time. Me like this nail salon. Gentlemen are welcome too.. I’ve seen several men came in to get their mani, pedi ( without painting ) & also facial treatments..;). You guys will be treated like a King, lol .. Heaven isn’t far away !!

I use to double my happiness by grabbing an Ice Sea Salt Coffee from 85 Bakery ( it was in the same plaza ) and enjoy my Queen’s time …Highly recommend this salon !! Life is short .. Just reward yourself with some simple pleasures …We never know what’s going to happen tomorrow, right ?!!

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I knew from the start we probably might not be a fit. Her Nail salon date and review blew me away.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

Then I met Kellie aka “Missy Food Xpert” in San Mateo. She, too, was happy to send me her review of a good restaurant for a first date.

The Fry House

The combination of meat, salad & sauce were delicious and tasty. I can’t help myself when I saw the chili hot sauce, adding on the spice always make it better for me. Be careful if you’re not into spicy side because this sauce is Smocking Hot..

This place is new, clean and fun decorations. There’s tables for dine in but with quite a bit amount of customers it will be hard for a big group or family.

Page, Yelp is not the place to meet single women. I struck out. Any ideas?

New in Town and Searching

Dear New In Town,

You get Gold Stars for trying! First: Date your own decade. Next, look at this: Get Your Mojo Moving. Try those Top 5 tips and let me know how that works for you.

Peace, Page Larkin

Men are like fine wine

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This was sent to Page Larkin

by Evelyn J.  age 88

A Real Man

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

Bronze buddah in the parkHe will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be her most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible self.

Hearts on a line

No, wait!  I’m sorry…I’m thinking of wine.

Never mind.

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Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent

offers a Three-hour Dating Mojo workshop every month.

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

 Saturdays  TBA 10 AM to 1 PM

 

  • Cost: $49
  • Limit: eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (Additional  Information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com *photo_11785_20090615peacock*******//******

Here are 5 Easy Ways to get  ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’ and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking text/emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF)
  3. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The recent foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.  Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel: Suddenly Single Date World
  4. Volunteer Check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations- St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion..
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is delicious.

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes
FACT: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed:

Men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons. Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

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Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,

Sing as if no one is listening, 

Love as if you have never been hurt, 

and Dance as if no one is watching”

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sad man

 A fear of dating?

Now is the Time to curb your “Fear of Dating”

What are you afraid of, Binkie?

So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box, Right off the shelf, and new to the dating game?

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester. Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:

The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone

2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten

3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage

4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking

5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex

6. Gynophobia – fear of women

7. Hominophobia -fear of men

8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed

9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons

10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night.

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:

“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Smart Women – Dumb Choices?


Best ADVICE:  Hide your IQ  and 
Show your bra strap…

Hey, smarty pants!

The University of Chicago describes itself  as The place fun came to die.”

September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice.  My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you.  In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”

The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her.  Enrapt.

“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”

Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”

“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”

Lingering in Lingerie

The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused. Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.

Do smart women intimidate men?

There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.

And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.

The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.

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“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;  

all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority

belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, 

and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.”

Virginia Woolf

 

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

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Men are like dogs? AKA: The perfect boyfriend

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Men are like dogs? Says who?

Chanel, aka ‘Ms. K-9 of Nob Hill’ is the famous neighborhood dog walker. She is tall and lean, with an impressive mane of long, silver hair and always has a cadre of canines in tow.

You see Chanel on California Street and Powell Street, slogging up Washington Street with her pack of dogs of all different sizes, colors, and breeds.

She runs a tightly orchestrated canine parade. Ms K-9 of Nob Hill is free with quick commands, kibbles and treats for her motley crew. She has a smattering of little white pooches and some pedigrees and others with no degrees.

Without as much as a prompt, she shared her philosophical position on dating and men. The Downward Dog? No.

She started her diatribe comparing men and dogs – however, with a little softening around the edges and and finessing her observations, we concluded:

The top 6reasons a great guy is like a good dog:

  1. The perfect boyfriend is loyal.
  2. He comes when he’s called.
  3. He appreciates a treat.
  4. He gives you unconditional love and is always happy to see you.
  5. The perfect boyfriend always has your back.
  6. He waits, patiently, for you to finish your dinner.

That’s all!

If you want to be fetching and more popular with the ladies, all you have to do is emulate ‘man’s best friend.’

And, you might want to  loyal, cheerful, helpful, friendly, courteous and brave…all are keys to your success.

Tips: The Best and Worst Opening Lines

comics-1299500__340The Good, the Bad and the Ugly?

John J. in Los Gatos is friendly, fun and flirty.

Note: Women love this. This is a “formula note” he sends out after a women has looked at his dating profile:         

Hello.  Thank you for perusing my profile. I like YOURS too. I was also lousy in Chemistry until entering the dating world. I notice you seek someone less than 47 miles away…Too bad I live 48 miles away (LOL kidding, it’s actually twice that distance;-). Three years ago I, too, lived in SF – had a wonderful apartment on Chestnut & Van Ness.  I wish we had met on-line then! I used to run in Golden Gate Park (until knee surgery ended my running career and started my cool new biking habit;-) Thanks, again for the look! Best of luck in finding that very lucky local SF Dude. Ciao Bella, John J in Los Gatos

Huge Points for John J. who is proactive, positive, flirty and friendly. His ‘form letter’ garners more attention than a wink or a one-liner. Go, John J.! frog-prince-398828__180

Mikey 68 (“A jock with bad knees but a good heart”) was a PE Major, not a creative writer,  who hired a  professional writer to enhance his online dating profile.  They talked – she took notes, and two days later, she came back with a new iamge: Michael 101.

He went from a bumbling Jimmy Kimmel to smooth Jimmy Stewart. He debated about keeping his long past profession (Veterinarian) out of the picture – she insisted he blatantly brag about being a Doctor. She said single women are on the look out for professionals. She also encouraged him to insert a passion for reading all things Jane Austen. She sent him links to Jane Austen for Dummies and The Cliff Notes.  She also changed his online name to  ‘Mr Darcy.” His opening line is, Call me Tall dark and handsome and I will follow you any where. Mr Darcy. His “ratings” went up. Way Up.

Tons of email every week:  Michael/Mr Darcy  gets a ton of winks, emails, and canned greetings from women all over the country. Whether it is his picture, his winning personality/profession as a DR,  Or his ghost-writer’s finesse in creating a faux Prince. He is only slightly embarrassed when women discover he has none of Mr Darcy’s attributes. Glib, he says Austen is ‘fiction.’  Truth or Dare? He is convinced he will meet a sweetheart. not_match-aCall me Timbo  (62, hunter, NRA devotee, catches fish with his hands)

He lives in an “A-state.” He is looking for one woman with whom to spend the rest of his life.  The other three did not work out. Clever man, got ahold of an NRA Club roster. Timbo had 200 post cards made with his picture on them. He and his son addressed and stamped all the cards with the message: “Wanted: My Last Date. Must be single and like dogs.” He got a few nibbles…nothing panned out. Next, with the help of the librarian, he joined Match.com and  wrote: “Sugar Daddy seeks Hot Mama” much to the chagrin of Marian librarian.

He was swamped with responses. At first, he was excited by all the attention. Then all the coffee shop dates, phone calls and driving “all over hell and high-water” to  meet all the s0-called “hot mamas” was exhausting.

Throwing in the towel, Timbo says, he is quitting the dating business- he prefers the company of his dogs.dog2_7501_20080925

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people

than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie

Monogamy? Monotony or integrity? You be the judge


Six women were seated under the lush green pergola, dense with fragrant Cherry blossoms.

The air was redolent and a nearby buffet table was laden with small plates of tapas. The women were sipping Sangria and laughing.


What you get when you cross a polyglot with a polyamorous? Someone who can cheat in six languages.

‘Date Watchers of San Francisco’ is an animated and opinionated women’s group who meet to weigh in on topics issues, mores, and trends. The topic du jour was monogamy and polyamory. All agreed, the song, “Love the One You’re With”  should have been playing in the background.  As a rule, the self-proclaimed “ladies who launch” prefer to date, cohabit with, marry, and hang out with men, one at a time.

 

 

Don’t Tread on Me – mon petite door mat

Karyn, the group leader, told the parable of her friend who crashed and burned in a Dating Debacle. Her friend, Mitzi, met the man of her dreams. They were in love,  inseparable,  intoxicated with one another and head over heels for 5 months.

All was sublime until Mr. Right decided he wanted to ‘date around’ while still dating Mitzi.  He then wanted to know if she would be willing ‘to share him’ with a few other of his soon-to-be-intimate-girl- friends.

Devastated and direct, a resounding, “No!” was her succinct answer. Mr. Right was perplexed, self-absorbed and gone. Altho  Mitzi was saddened by the experience and the loss  she learned a lesson.. and shared her feelings and was a little wiser for the experience.

Tomorrow: Part Two The Lesson

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com .

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