Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the category “Dating over 50”

New at the Dating Game? So is this lady

Caught in the World Wide Web
of laughs, lines, and libertines
And, this ain’t no Charlotte’s Web

Dear Page,

I am one to peruse Match.com on occasion – okay, twice a day -whether I need to or not.
I have grown accustomed to his smiles. You know – the smiles of the guys in the 40 to 50 year old range.

That’s my milieu, 40-50…Match advises a decade age span to best attract the future date of the month.
If I were to listen to Rayella, in my yoga class, I would subscribe to her theory that all guys on the WWW lie.
She said, “None of the men online are the age they claim to be” She said, “All of them use photos from years ago.”
Antique photos?

No, no, say it isn’t so…
I dismissed her pessimism and attributed that dour point of view to her curly red hair and whiny personality…
in addition, she is a size 2, you know what that means-what could she possibly know?

An optimist, and new at the new scene for singles, I hopped aboard the Fun Train of Internet dating and before I could memorize my new password, 27 men had looked me over and 16 had winked at me.

Well, maybe it was a blink. Could be a nervous twitch. So I started winking, blinking, nodding.The conundrum, is -Socrates asked it first – (Frosh year philosophy)
What is truth?

On my virgin voyage on Craigslist – I posted a flirty ad.  I met a  man who fianlly admitted he was married (instantly declared null and void)

met one playboy /one dating dabbler, and some very angry people.

…and then were the 40 yr olds and the 65 year olds and then the “photo only” types, the “hit and runs” – mean and caustic remarks posted and then they vanish sans backbone.

I thought: It’s got to get better. And it did. Although, not online.

Best to all of us singles in this quest.

I doff my cap -and quoff my cafe latte – to all those enterprising men and women out there – skating through life – skating on the thin ice of internet dating…

Gina in Burlingame

Dear Gina in Burlingame,

I love this Steve Jobs quote about starting over- see if it fits for you.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.   Steve Jobs

Sex drive in neutral? 4 Fab Libido-Lifting Foods to the resuce

Oysters on the half shell – not the solution anymore.

There is a school of thought which professes eating oysters and quaffing champagne as the panacea to a low flying libido. For centuries, oysters have long been deemed the food of love. Myth has it the lustful Casanova ate dozens of oysters a day. Rumor has it, chilies and curries may heat up you sex life, too. Others swear dark chocolate is the key to carnal knowledge.

The Wizard, Dr Oz The famous and ubiquitous Dr Oz has recently come out the Top Four Lust Enhancing super foods. Batteries, champagne and chocolate, not included.

If your sex drive is in ‘neutral’, get thee to a grocery store, today, and pick up these Dr. Oz ideas for enhancing your sexual appetite.

The Fab Four Foods to Whet your Sexual Appetite:


1. Ginger – When you are hot – a stimulating and warming herb said to increase circulation all over.

2. Halibut – A fish known to be so delicious and so promiscuous – leaves you wanton – more? The real thrust is Omega-3’s – a must for “the Big O” says Dr O.

3. Pumpkin Seeds -a handful of these tiny seeds is said to be a” kick start” for your libido and increase- a desire to be romantically inclined.

4. Asparagus, instantly recognized by its own suggestive shape, happens to be high in vitamin E, considered one of the sex hormone stimulants.

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What’s on the Menu Tonight?

Check other people’s shopping baskets as you cruise the aisles of the grocery store today.  You should see a veritable school of fish, bags of pumpkin seeds, ginger by the handful, and bunches of asparagus.

Remember: Don’t be bitter…be sweet

Simply add a healthy dose of candlelight, fresh flowers, soft music and bon appetite and bon nuit, baby cakes.

Passionate for an Aphrodisiac? Good news: Chocolate does contain an active ingredient called phenyl ethylamine that is natural and effective for stimulating sex drive.

Yum!

Bitter

Sweetwater? Good reason to visit Marin this weekend

 Hot Date Destination: Marin County-Top five reasons to cross the GGB

1. Sweetwater– the legendary Mill Valley music club everyone flocked to in the 70‘s and 80‘s ( All hail Jules Broussard) is located at the Masonic Lodge at 19 Corte Madera Ave. Enjoy Music, Cocktails and dining al fresco.

Thanks and kudos to Bob Weir- a gentleman and a giant.


2.) Take a hike: Mount Tamalpais is the “go to“ destination for millions of visitors every year. People come from all over the world to hike, bike, hang glide, ride horses, bird watch, photograph, study plants, flowers, trees and explore. The magnificent views absolutely  take your breath away…as do a number of the scenic and strenuous hiking trails.

3.) Take your choice: Marin is magical – there are multiple choices for entertainment, wandering and playing. Of course, you can go biking, strolling, hiking, dining, shopping or – see a first-run movie at the wonderful Rafael Theater. Drive over the Golden Gate Bridge – leave the City behind -and explore multi-faceted and fun Marin County.

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4.) And Culture, Too!  People “in the know” flock to Marin’s Open Studios May 6-7, 2017. Artists open their doors to show  pieces in painting, sculpture, ceramics, photography, graphics, print-making, glass, jewelry and mixed media

Look for the Mill Valley Red Door on Miller Avenue (Laura Roebuck Miller Studio 332 Miller Ave, Mill Valley)

They also ‘know’ the Best Movie Theater for first run films and home of the Mill Valley Film festival is is the newly restored, Art Deco, the Rafael in San Rafael on Fourth Street.

5.) Try Any One of These Four Great Restaurants:

  1. Piazza d Angelo – a wonderful Italian restaurant located in downtown Mill Valley on the square
  2. My Thai in San Rafael with the best Thai food in all of Marin  food -located at 1230 Fourth
  3. Tommy’s Wok – Sausalito- the best Chinese food in all of Marin County
  4.  Best Sunday Brunch with a live, non stop Bicycle Parade- Poggio – Sausalito

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5.) Barry Spitz and Four Great Hikes Mr Marin County – hiking authority, lecturer, author and ‘man about town’, Barry Spitz, is the go- to-guy for any and all information about majestic (6400 acres) Mount Tamalpais

His recent book, Tamalpais Trails is a bible to legions of  hikers and Marin residents. Try one these Marin hikes:

  1. Best- to the beach- short Hike- Mill Valley Tennessee Valley Pack a picnic and enjoy land and sea.
  2. Best Hike @ 0900 Sunday – Ross – Phoenix Lake  2.33 miles and is considered a little rigorous, vigorous and spectacular.
  3. Best -here we go around the lake – Mt Tam has five man made lakes. Try  Alpine Lake – for a start.
  4.  Best Hike Tiburon – Ring Mountain – You can’t see Russia – however, you can see three counties. There are acres and acres of hills, trails and try to find the petroglyph’s. Bring water and binoculars.   Pick up a picnic at the yummy and upscale Nugget Market.

Take the ferry to Marin CountyLove the Lifestyle. You are to Welcome to Marin – any day of the week.canoe-63457__340

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Lifestyle

Kentucky Derby-whoa! Is that a donkey or a thoroughbred?

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And! We are off to the races!

Saturday, May 5 at 4pm EST is the much anticipated 2017 Kentucky Derby and the whole Equine-world will be watching.

Boyfriend Homework It is common knowledge, a horse and a good companion have grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. How does your current companion measure up?

Let’s say your paramour du jour has asked you to a Kentucky Derby party. How do you prepare for the event? Derby Party Success is based on THE Trifecta: hat, stats, quips.

photop-eacock First and foremost: Get a hat – the bigger, the better. Second, research the Derby and know the history, the stats, horses names – remember these two words, “Awesome Act.” Third, in preparation for the Kentucky Derby you should know, an inordinate amount of time leads up to the actual race. So, it’s hours of partying, horse talk, and betting in preparation for the fleeting and mercurial race.

happy_birthday_wm_sQuickly come up to speed – learn a few quotes, quips, and insights about life and horses. Borrow from the Bard.

These Lucky Seven are a good start:

A Hibernian sage once wrote that there are three things a man never forgets: The girl of his early youth, a devoted teacher, and a great horse. ~C.J.J. Mullen

A woman needs two animals – the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it. ~MM

* You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers

* In buying a horse or taking a wife, shut your eyes tight and commend yourself to God. ~ Tuscan Proverb

* There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

* It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall. ~ Mexican Proverb

* If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle. ~ Rita Mae Brownimages-93

Pin the Tail on the Donkey? A Southern belle, who virtually grew up at Kentucky Derby parties, and insists on anonymity, said she has seen more tiffs, spats, disputes between couples at the Derby – than any other sporting event. Blame it on the Mint Juleps? Hats that are too tight? The pressure to perform? She has never been able to pinpoint the actual reason -she merely said, thoroughbreds act like donkeys.

Have fun at the party- Cheers!cocktail-1705561__180-2
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One of the worst dates? Ever.

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We had agreed to meet at a place with “ambience and parking.”

I scored a parking place in front– arriving a few minutes early. We decided on trendy, watering-hole downtown. Perched on a barstool, I waited. Twenty minutes later, a tall, gray-haired man walked in. He didn’t resemble any of the photos I had seen online. However, he was 6’2 and was walking towards me, smiling.   He said, “Dear, you look just like your photo.”

I thought, “You don’t look a thing like yours. Dear.” He made no apology for being late.

He was wearing a tweed jacket-probably from the 80’s that might have fit him then -not now. Chalk it up to: “Needs help.”

He suggested we move to the table in the small garden in the back. We we’re seated in a lovely area far removed from the bar. The waiter dropped off our drinks and we didn’t see him again.

How we went from where did you go to school -where do you live to his cholesterol, resting heart rate, daily exercise regime, and insomnia, I’ll never know.

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On the dating profile, he indicated a passion for water sports, rowing, hiking and literature.

What he divulged was that his rowing took place in his living room-on a machine looking at the water. He was a big Danielle Steele fan. His hikes were to and from the grocery store.

It didn’t take much to decipher we have very little in common.

He displayed a great interest in my former husband.

Generally, my response is “That’s history.” And I move on.

However, Mr. Old Tweed Jacket was like a dog with a bone inquiring about my past. Which made him even less attractive. I suggested we get the check and call it a day. With no waiter insight, he suggested we simply walk out and not pay.

Then, I really knew I was with a loser.

On the way out, he went to the men’s room; I paid the bill.

And I said “Good luck.” (That’s what women say when they have no intention of ever seeing the guy again) He indicated he like to “do this again.”

Ha! Not in this lifetime.

I smiled, walked to my car, and drove off. Dodged that bullet.

 

 

Time to Rhyme? Poetry – the ultimate chick magnet?



April is actually the coolest, not the cruelest, month- it’s National Poetry Month

 

The hot topic around the Sunday buffet was how perfectly seductive it is to hear a man recite a poem.

Consensus was, “Oh, yeah!” Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from a motion we collected in tranquility.”  Voltaire called poetry, “Music of the soul”

Whatever You Call It

Whether you recite a poem, a haiku, a sonnet – whether it’s blank verse – or free verse, lyrical or satirical- women swoon over poetry. There’s something irresistible and alluring about having someone recite a poem to you.

Poems are meant to be slow and leisurely, read aloud and read more than once.

Now is the time – to pick up a book of poems, choose a poet – whether it’s Ogden Nash (Candy Is dandy; But liquor Is quicker) or W.H. Auden, or local poet laureate: Kay Ryan or T.S. Eliot Keats, or Billy Collins.

Find a slim volume of poems and revel in the language. Poetic License- 100 Poems 100 Performers- the audio book – is romantic, breath-taking, and astounding. Check your local Indy Bookstore for a copy.

Poetry 101

Billy Collins, a highly esteemed favorite among English majors everywhere explains teaching poetry to students in his poem entitled, “Poetry 101”

Here are the Top 10 Poems of the Day

1. Elizabeth Barrett Browning “How Do I Love thee? Let me count the ways”

2. Robert Burns, scalding red-hot love poem: “My Red, Red, Rose”

3. Emily Dickinson “I Cannot Live with You”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 “Shall I Compare You to a Summer’s Day?”

5. Margaret Atwood “Variation on the Word Sleep“

6. Billy Collins “Litany”

7. William Wordsworth “The Daffodils”

8. W.H Auden’s “Funeral Blues”

9. Francis William Bourdillon “The Night has a Thousand Eyes”

10.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “The Day is Done”

Read them, recite them, revel in poetry.

“Poetry is the shadow cast by out streetlight imaginations.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Dating 101:All the good ones are taken

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All the good ones are taken

Steve went to brunch at a friend’s home on Sunday. He knew he was being ”fixed up,” yet, again. All of his married friends wanted him to be ”as happy as they were.”

For years, he had observed the happy couples -the snipes, the snips, the eye-rolling and wondered just how happy they actually were.

Then again, who was he to wonder. He had been on six different dating sites the last eight years, and was still “Just looking.”

Truth be told, hundreds of dates later, he concluded, it was a jungle out there. More often than not, he fell in love. And it was rarely reciprocated. Women that this age and stage (50/60) were tough. Either they had a “My Man Must Have List,” or they were “Just The Sex, Please,” one-night-stand-women.

He tried Tinder and met a beautiful redhead, his age, height, and education who just wanted someone “To hold her once a week,” that’s all. Next!

This time, his ”fix up” was Veronique. She was short, perky, with a head of curly gray hair and a perpetually surprised expression. Having been around the block a few times, he knew Veronique was 60, if a day, and she had some work done. No one look surprised all the time.

Nevertheless, she was lively and interesting. She been to Thailand (Red flag-he had seen 60 Minutes about Thailand being the plastic surgery capital.)

When she spoke passionately about “the twins,” he assumed she was talking about her kids. No. She had two Siamese cats, that were highly intelligent and she knew they spoke to her in Cat Language.

That was it.

Steve did his perfect guest, clear the table, help the hostess with dessert routine, and “Oh, my! Look at the time.” He had to go and pick up a friend at the airport. Floods of apologies.

He had this exit down to a science. Hasta la vista, baby.

Steve swore he would never get fixed up again.

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The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dates on Match.com

Dilapidated windowAlexa and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Dates

One Woman’s Story- Online Dating Disappoints: We are not a match!

Alexa is 57, divorced, RN, lives in South San Francisco, has a kid in college, is a mild hiker and musical theater devotee. She decided to throw her hat in the ring and sign up with Match.com

Day #1

The dating company sent the first “Batches o’ Perfect Matches.”

  • The first picture was of a guy on a big red tractor in a field. She had nothing in common with him.
  • The second was a photo of man kissing his cat. She loathed cats and worried about a guy posting a photo like that.
  • The third picture was three balding men all standing together a bar. They all looked alike. Who was the candidate?
  • Finally, there was a smattering headshots of men wearing all hiding behind sunglasses and baseball hats.

The last picture she could stand looking at that day was Clive from Palo Alto wearing a lampshade. And the message was: “I am dying to talk to you on the telephone. Please call immediately.” Bizarre.

Just as she was ready to ‘throw in the towel… she received an email from Match.com: Roberto wanted to “Connect.”

The barrage of disappointing matches was followed by this email from Spooky Roberto. (unedited)

Der Sir or Madam.

Pardon to cut you unaware. I had to do this because i m desperate to connect with you and i was thinking if this was right? let me be the criminal of desperation in the court of love… lol….i’m very  fun to be around with… Perhaps that you will have to find out, if you give me the privilege to know you?. I think the this idea is creative lol.

 My name is Terry and i m using colleague profile. 55 years of age, widower, 5.11ft tall, cute, with good sense of humor. Age is a number.

 I live in California, I m not a registered member yet and this not my account and photos. It’s for an old colleague of mine in a conference whom wanted to show me around online dating. I got attracted to your write up, and i think we have some things in common to share  Feel free to contact me to contact me on my email and i will tell you more about me and send you my current pictures.  robertoterry04 @ g m a i l.c o m    looking forward to hear.

 Sent From My iPhone

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Alexa was going to re-think Match.com…it wasn’t looking good.

It could only get better, maybe.

Beware The Scams and Dead Ends

Where are all the single men in SF?



Donde esta los muchachos?

Dear Page Larkin

I went to the movie Friday afternoon and the room was filled with women. No, it wasn’t a chick flick. It was Moonlight Then, I went to a Pinot Noir wine tasting at Whole Foods. We were 75% single women and 25% couples.

Rick’s Wine Bar looks like a sorority party. I just can’t bring myself to attend NASCAR or those cigar bars.

Where are all the boys?  Then, I went to a trendy, cool, church…nope, all gray-haired ladies – pretty much.

On Sunday, like all good American girls, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond  – it was like a wedding shower- the aisles were filled with women, girls, ladies, shopping for linens and things.


Is it me, or is it San Francisco? This is like living in the world of the Amazons.

By mistake, I went to Union Street.  Once upon a time, a long time ago …Really popular Singles Bars used to be the rage. That night,  It was Frat Boy Night packed with 20 to 30-year-old, drunk, Frat boys high-fiving one another and measuring virility/maturity by the number of sake bombs they were throwing back. Next!

Where are the big boys?

Finally, I LYFTED over to Valencia Street- and was inundated with couples going to all the trendy- fabulous-darling restaurants. The Good Vibrations emporium was teeming with women, go figure.

Where did all the single guys go?

From Fresno to Frisco and Frustrated

 

Dear From Fresno to Frisco…

Brava! You have certainly done due diligence and you make keen observations.Remember: A guy has got to eat – linger in the aisles at Safeway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Rainbow  Grocery-you get the idea. Smile. Say “hey.” Frequently.

Many happy women say they met many happy men at the Golden State Warrior and SF Giants games – the perfect recipe for meeting people of the opposite sex: winning teams, sky high excitement, mutual passion for Pence, Posey, Pagan….Curry, Klay….

You’re right, guys are not in bookstores, yoga classes, or cake decorating classes – they should be – that’s where women go.

 

Tip of the day: See Top 10 Places Meet Men 

 

Breakfast

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Steven Wright

 

 

 

Matchmaker, matchmaker! Tell me the truth

5rhl-ksrydq-dino-reichmuth-2Once upon a time, in that quaint, little village nestled in the mountains –

you had to consult with a matchmaker to score a date and a mate.

Mae West once said, “A hard man is good to find.”

Aeons ago, any man was good to find. Today, we have a plethora of possibilities:  the Top Ten Online Dating companies  (Note: most are owned by the same company)

However, there are a passel of so-called Matchmakers lurking in the shadows- seeking out Mr Lonely and Just Widowed –

aka ripe for the picking.

bad photos12A quick look at Yelp reviews for so-called Matchmakers/Sonoma/Sacramento/San Francisco divulges sad stories.

“I naively went through theTEN coaching sessions paying close to $2000, and then she did NOTHING. once I was allowed  to “enter her inner dating circle”.  She basically took the money and ran!  I reached out twice very politely asking what was going on, and both times I got a run around about her life issues and how they were hindering her professional life. Whoa- then give me my $2000 back! … an unbelievable and expensive rip off/ let down.”

“Ms Romance wanted me to go through a 10-session dating coaching/therapy program before she would determine whether she would accept me into her roster of matchable. Ha!”

“This business is a total rip off, they are fake.  Stay away!  My first , in person interview lasted almost three hours at their Santa Rosa office.  I am an attractive , intelligent, senior woman; I was told they had plenty of compatible men to introduce me to. The sales woman asked me many personal questions about my life style.”

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And so, boys and girls – before Handing over the $3,ooo – $6,000 (for men)

Tell all your friends and relatives you are ready to date. Start looking up and around. Start smiling at other people. Look at Meetup.com , Read Johnny FunCheap, join the Sierra Club; sign up for salsa or swing dance lessons; go to San Francisco Giants Games…got off the couch, and out of the house, Today.

Always Research any and all dating companies. Avoid the charlatans parading as experts.75

You are welcome.

A Good Match

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