Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the category “Page Larkin Date guide”

The demand to be loved?

Love Sweet Love

“Hug me, kiss me, love me!”

“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche

Molly the Millennial whined it was “hard” dating and then being in a relationship. She said it was “hard to share and to be around someone all day and all night long.”

Listen up, Babycakes – you are not ready for a big girl relationship.

Long-term relationships are sublime and wonderful. Having a partner – a playmate- a sounding board – a companion, a lover and a best friend to share the Joy! the fun, challenges and ups and downs all day and all night, is the best.

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Having someone to hold hands with is one of the best things ever. Walking across Fifth Avenue, Champs Elysees, the PCH, the Golden Gate Bridge or into a wedding, a funeral or party and having a loving partner is not only reassuring, calming, gratifying- it is  exciting.

Yes, Binky, you might have to share a closet, a bed, a bathroom and your deepest fears and secrets. Having somebody who thinks you are the best thing since Brioche French toast with butter and real maple syrup is a happy thing.

(Psst! There is really  no need to get into the “getting horizontal” aspect a long term relationship.)

When you’re ready, my little Millennial, you’ll be ready.

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Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love that makes the world go round. Lewis Carroll

 

Psst! I Can Read You Like a Book

student-2052868__340Merrilyn K found herself Suddenly Single- again and penned the following missive: 

Dear Page Larkin,

I blame Book Clubs.

Legions of women across America gather – supposedly, to discuss the finer points of grammar, irony, character development, and  plot vs. protagonist.

Allow me to divulge our dirty little secret: Women’s Book Blubs are really a covert way to analyze, dissect and discuss men.

Very few clubs will “fess up” to this nefarious charge.  Thinly-veiled as passionate about reading, only the few brave book club members will divulge – most book clubs are all about an underlying desire to. talk about men, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, dating, sex, and myriad books on the same subject.

Our group formed years ago and raced through The Da Vinci Code – who didn’t?  We started with the loftiest of goals to read great literature and share erudite observations-to seek symbolism and nuance, and of course,  to mine books for irony.

And, then inspired by Bitsy, our resident Suddenly Single-Again  bon vivant – we began to dabble in uncharted waters: we gladly immersed ourselves into the world of  “Chick  Lit.”

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After a frothy diet of light and airy, with some Philip Roth thrown in for color and culture, we decided to change horses mid-stream.

Let’s just say – We Evolved

Our new liberated  venue was to meet to discuss the Best Places to kiss in Paris and London…and San Francisco.

The next meeting we quickly nailed Napa, Chicago and New York City.

Our next foray into Reading and Writing was for the  8 of us to co-author a Bodice Ripper Note:  We are not your mother’s book club, or the Jane Austen Book Club….Look for our book on Oprah. Someday.

Merrilyn and the Promiscuous Pens of Palo Alto

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Any WOMAN  who says she has one life to live must not know how to read a MAN.  ~

 

A good    MAN /BOOK    should leave you… slightly exhausted at the end.  You live several lives while reading HIM.  ~ Merry Malaprop

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Single women: there are only two kinds?

Only Two kinds of Single Women? Come on!

Suddenly Single... Minded

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I met a man today who told me his secret about single women.

We were both attending a presentation about Financial Solutions in a Time of Chaos.

It was dry, boring, and depressing. At the morning break, we walked out together – both shaking our heads. I sighed audibly. He laughed and said, “Pretty grim, huh?”  He asked if I’d like to join him for a cup of coffee.

In no time, we skipped the dour/ dire topic of finance and we were discussing our social lives. The theme turned into: yours, mine and ours. Oddly enough, we had several similar Internet dating experiences.

John D, is of an age – over 70, tan, well-dressed, interesting, and a good conversationalist (i.e. he asked questions.) He claimed he had done a lifetime of insightful “Relationship Research.” His revelation:  there are only two kinds of single women in the world.

Only two?  Really? Was he cynical…

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First Rule of Valentine’s Day?

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Happy Hearts! The key to a woman’s heart…

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

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If a woman tells you she doesn’t want anything

for Valentine’s Day…do not believe her.

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Remember this secret:

When in doubt…over do Valentine’s gifts, baubles, trinkets, sweets, Bubbly…

To err is human

to overcompensate is

Divine!

Page Larkin

Diamonds are a Diamonds are a girl’s best …

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She dated Luke Warm for too long

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Kelly and Luke went out for a month before she realized he was a dud.

All talk no action?

Luke could talk.  Kelly noted he had a steady flow of so-called plans, plots and ideas. 

When it came to romance, he would caress her hand and whisper in her ear, and explain he wanted to take her to Paris to un petite lingerie shoppe and buy her the most alluring lingerie. Then Luke got distracted and she didn’t hear from him for a week.

Out of the blue, he would call and ask her what she was cooking for dinner. She would rattle off a  gourmet concoction she had dreamed up and as he was about to invite himself over, she informed him she was seeing “other people.”

He  tried his mightiest to sweet talk her and she bowed out. She had his number.

He tried to interest her in going to Burning Man in her SUV- and she had images of burning a VooDoo doll of Luke instead. A month later, he called and she didn’t pick up – ever again.

Either be hot or cold. If you are lukewarm, the Lord will spew you forth from His mouth.

Jerry Lee Lewis
Lukewarm

The Herd Mentality…

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The Yoga Babes had been friends for a decade.

On weekends, the single ladies often went, en masse, to events, movies, performances around the City. They were of an age where Eileen Fisher was more their go to designer…Rachel Zoe, Badgley Mischka and Trina Turk were no longer in their hot fashion repertoire.

It took awhile…

One Saturday evening, the  ladies were lined up to see Paula West see at the Hotel Nikko, Tamsin looked at the gang of girls and said, “Oh, my god! Don’t look now. We are all wearing the same thing!”  The ladies laughed and looked.

Everyone was wearing an ensemble comprised solely of black and white.  One in a black Tuxedo jacket, white cashmere Turtleneck and  black slacks. Tamsin was clad in all-white with a dramatic black shawl. There were lots of black pants; cigarette, flowing, parachute, jeweled Capris, trousers.

It takes a village…a herd…

The women looked, laughed and said, “Devil may care – we don’t!”  As a rule, the women migrate to the same color palette. C’est la vie.

WOMEN IN LITTLE BLACK DRESSES

Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.        

Oscar de la Renta

Heard

You Putin me on? Match.com scam – from Russia with love?

Look out for the prolific Dating Scams…

Suddenly Single... Minded

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How To Spot the 2 most reliable telltale signs Scammers use at Online Dating Sites…

The Best Scam of the Day On Match.com

His handle is “Big Mac.” Is he your typical All American Boy?  Probably not. His profile photo is of two men, each holding holding two ginormous salmon on a dock. The adjoining quote, “My son and me learning to catch Salmon.” Fake photo or really fast learners?

1. Words

Vladimir and his team of friendly frauds selected all the “buzz words” a woman wants to see on a Match.com profile:  Seeking: companionship, trust, passion, honesty, fun, best friend, romantic, monogamous, long-term, and rewarding relationship. You know, the usual laundry list.

However, they really trip over their troika and stumble and bumble with the pesky American Language:

Big Mac, sounds like Boris,  writes:

  • If you like theater… will be entertaining ourselves in a minute.
  • The meetings at work are business. Really?
  • As…

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Quitting a dating site? Clean up your act

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Darn! You thought you deleted your online dating photos.

And, bam! Three months later, Yahoo has your photo scrolling on their home page in a Match.com promotion: “Looking for Single Men in San Francisco?”

You thought you went through the necessary channels to quit once and for all. Match sent you the canned “Really? Are you sure you want to leave the party? Trixie, Tiffani, and Binkie will miss you.”

You push, “Cancel Account” and you think the party is over.

Not so fast, Dude.

For six more weeks, Match, Seniors, Our Time can run your photograph – making their inventory of Single men and women look full and diverse. And, who knew, you might see your old photo floating on the Yahoo home page. (Yahoo – desperate times – desperate measures?)

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Page Larkin’s Top Three Tips to Quit an Online Dating Site – aka Leave no Trace

#1. Delete all your photos. One by one. You don’t want your photo floating in their ads or hanging around for God and everyone to see…

#2. Copy and Paste everything you have written to a Word Doc. You might, someday, want to sign up for another site and use the pithy prose you produced, again.

#3. Finally, delete every single word you wrote on your profile. If a site, like Match, insists that you have 500 characters in any mini-essay, copy and paste in The Pledge of Allegiance or Dave Barry’s definition of “What Women Want” or the opening to Kafka’s, The Trial.

As a precautionary measure, change your age, gender, and height- the more ludicrous the better.

C’est fini! Leave no trace and your slate will be clean.

Cue: Fireworks

Cue: Fireworks

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare

Rain? January 21? Wear it well

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The Womens Marches – Oakland, San Francisco, San Jose, Sacramento…

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72 years in the making: The Right to Vote for Women

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1848

One of the earliest efforts came during the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention in New York, where a resolution in favor of women’s suffrage was passed despite convention organizers’ holding conflicting opinions on the issue.

Suffragists would continue to push for women to be given

the right to vote over the next 72 years until

the 19th Amendment

was adopted on Aug. 26, 1920.

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“The vote is the emblem of your equality, women of America, the guarantee of your liberty. That vote of yours has cost millions of dollars and the lives of thousands of women.

Money to carry on this work has been given usually as a sacrifice, and thousands of women have gone without things they wanted and could have had in order that they might help get the vote for you.

Women have suffered agony of soul which you can never comprehend, that you and your daughters might inherit political freedom. T hat vote has been costly. Prize it!

The vote is a power, a weapon of offense and defense, a prayer. Understand what it means and what it can do for your country. Use it intelligently, conscientiously, prayerfully.”

 
Someday 

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Top 10 Best Quotes Suffragettes

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