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Archive for the category “Page Larkin Date guide”

Kiss me, hug me, shake my hand: First date dilemma?


To hug or not to hug? That is the question.

The ‘Hot date’ is over and you come to that awkward dating dilemma: Do you kiss, hug or shake hands?
If the date was lousy and he or she eerily reminds you of Christopher Walken, the quick “Oh, look at the time!” and a handshake is appropriate.

Conversely, if the date was pure bliss and you’re already planning the next rendezvous, and strains of Andrea Bocelli’s sexy song, “Besame Mucho” are running through your mind, go with the wrap-around hug.

(Kissing optional and usually appreciated. Mucho?)

Hugs are free and one-size-fits-all

Different people express love and affection in different ways. Some countries are known for passion, romance languages, and love. Italians don’t merely shake hands; they wrap you in a hug and kiss you on both cheeks. As they say: Eskimos nose how to kiss cool…



“A lot of people head into courtship looking for fireworks. Don’t pass up a chance by dumping someone after a first date because you don’t feel the fireworks. The fireworks can happen at any time and be maintained.”

Helen Fisher

















Suddenly Single... Minded

kisssTo hug or not to hug?  That is the question.

The ‘Hot date’ is over and you come to that awkward dating dilemma:  Do you kiss, hug or shake hands?

If the date was lousy and he or she eerily reminds you of Christopher Walken, the quick “Oh, look at the time” and a handshake is appropriate.

Conversely, if the date was pure bliss and you’re already planning the next rendezvous, and strains of Andrea Bocelli’s sexy song, “Besame Mucho” are running through your mind, go with the wrap-around hug.

Kissing optional and usually appreciated. Mucho?

Hugs are free and one-size-fits-all

Different people express love and affection in different ways. Some countries are known for passion, romance languages, and love. Italians don’t merely shake hands; they wrap you in a hug and kiss you on both cheeks. As they say: Eskimos nose how to kiss cool…

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Divorce: a long and winding road….or a rocky road?

Rocky Road…
not just an ice cream flavor…

Remember ~Every divorce is like a snowflake – no two are alike…

 If 50% of us are going to divorce or are in the midst of a divorce or are divorced….
What do you do to get through  the day?

 So, how does a Suddenly Single person in SAN FRANCISCO cope?

  • Attend Church?
  • Attend to exploring all forms of Chocolate?
  • Withdrawing?
  • Scouring the FunCheap for Singles Events?
  • Attending movie matinees?
  • Shopping for a hearty round of Retail Therapy?
  • Investing in and using reams of Kleenex?
  • Quick Shots of Paleo Friendly Patron Tequila?
  • Reading Best Sellers? Or mindlessly reading Danielle Steele?
  • Sitting mindlessly in front of TV wondering, “What the heck am I doing?”
  • Creating elaborate voodoo dolls of Ex and reveling in acupuncture on same.
  • Jogging around and around the Marina or Lake Merced?
  • Attending every CITY ARTS AND LECTURES event?
  • Hanging out at The HaRa or Spruce nursing mojitos? Not what you mint…
  • Cruising the Saturday morning Farmer’s Market buying bushes of basil?
  • Whining At Wine Bars? Yielding at Yield?
  • Booking way too many appointments with your therapist?
  • Attending mass, services, synagogue daily?
  • Do you find yourself pining for”The Twins” on Nob Hill?
  • Are you walking around the Grace Cathedral labyrinth multiple times?
  • Do you find yourself staring at a Thomas Kincaide painting for extended time?
  • Are you glued to CSPAN?
  • Have you tried ALL 31 Flavors?
  • Have you read Divorce for Dummies at the library, a chapter at a time,  – too embarrassed to bring it home?
  • Do you dream of meeting Michael Krasney, Charlie Rose,  Brian Lamb of CSPAN? and consider volunteering at KQED?
  • Have you “suited up” and tried jogging and remembered you hate exercise?
  • Does the Haight now seem charming?
  • Does Union Street all of a sudden seem less appealing – and much less like it was in the good old days? Where are the Henry Africa’s?  Thomas Lords? The Cooperage?

It is sobering to realize those ” kids” you see at the bar at Perry’s –  those kids may be the same age as YOUR kids… and, my dear, they have bumped you off your pedestal…it’s musical chairs and, now,  it’s their turn.

It is time: You simply need to find a new vehicle,  a fresh point of view and understanding of what the dating game looks like now. Pay no attention  to the man  behind the curtain.

Take it from me- the next chapter of your life – ACT II can be much more fulfilling…exciting…rewarding.

All it takes is vision- and stamina – some creativity and a dollop of reality.

Sure, easier said than done.  Push yourself away from the computer, the TV,   at the  fish tank and  Get up.  Put your shoes on. Get out of the house.  Go for a walk…

(That was Step One  – repeat daily)

It’s a Brand New World. Be Brave.san-francisco-733508__180-2

Help! I might strike out?


Dear Page Larkin,

I realize I have a leg up on crazy. Admittedly, I’ve been single for way too long. I am 55, divorced twice, no kids and happy. However, now  I know I am rounding third and heading for home!

I have been dating a former San Francisco Giant team member for six months. He is a really great guy who frequently talks in baseball lingo. My whole wardrobe has morphed into black and orange -because he “gifts” me with old Giants gear. No complaints. I like being a “Giants Babe.”

We have lot of fun – he is a real  kidder who uses a lot of puns, and loves to play with words. We have one small, tiny problem.

HEARTSTHe asked me a poignant question. It stopped me in my tracks.

He asked me if I was there for the game…or the season…It doesn’t the a “Giant” brain to decipher the code.

What should I say? I don’t want to take hike..


I like Dutch Treat


Dear “I like Dutch Treat”

It sounds as though you have met a really great guy, who appreciates you – quirks and all.   Embrace it! Carpe diem and keep you eye on the ball. You have given us all enough clues to know exactly who your are dating – seize the day.


Page Larkin

12 Daze of Christmas? Overkill or over the moon?

Too good to be true? Letter from Ms Out to Lunch

Suddenly Single... Minded


Dear Page Larkin,

Too many Christmas Gifts? Is there such a thing?

My boyfriend really embraced the 12 days of Christmas last year. He literally bathed me in extravagant gifts

Day 1. On the first day, he surprised me and gave me golf lessons at Cinnabar Country Club in Morgan Hill. Then we went to Guglielmo  Winery for private tasting with the owner, Gene.

Day 2. He gave me a uni-sex Robert Graham shirt from Scott Lyall in Napa.

Day 3. I received a beautiful umbrella with peacock feathers design from Pennyweight in St. Helena.

Day 4. I got gift certificate for a flight of wine from Hall winery  which is like going to Wine Disneyland. We stopped off at Dean and Deluca for Chocolate Babka.

Day 5. He presented me with A Bliss for the Body Massage gift card for Auberge du Soliel. Yay!


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San Francisco: famous for hills and falls


Yes, Rome has it’s seven famous hills and San Francisco has seven times more hills. As a result:

The Hills are alive with the sound of falling.

How many hundreds of pretty Prom Princesses in super-high heels have tried to walk up California Street to the Fairmont or the Mark Hopkins for the Big Dance? And then tried to step lightly across cable car tracks and the bumpy bricks in the driveway at the Mark?


They are ripping up the streets of the City. While, it once was a breeze to pop downtown, park and be at an event in no time…with traffic and all the new One Way Streets and Detours- it is no longer a simple act. Tripping over the ripped up streets is a common day downtown occurrence.

A warning sign for the public

Ow! Well heeled:

Remember: Once upon a time, Women working  downtown, changed from their running shoes to heels at their desks. Fewer sprained table, skinned knees and bonks on the head. Smart.

And now, wearing flat heeled shoes has become de rigeur on the Hills of San Francisco. Very smart.



Mae West- Advice on Vice

images-135Mae West – The Patron Saint of Single Women

Called a spade a shovel – in a Yogi Berra kind of fashion.

She eloquently said, “When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. 

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”


SFO rocks: great date destination



“San Francisco is a mad city – inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane people whose women are of a remarkable beauty.”   Rudyard Kipling

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12


“A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M. A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays. San Francisco is such a city.”            Herb Caen


San Francisco has been called “The Most Romantic City in the World” for obvious reasons. Would you agree?


Speed Dating at 50? Buckle Up, Binkie

photo_16951_20100307hot car

Speed date, blind date, brunch date, dinner date, fixed up,

cyber date, serial date, polydate.

So many dates, so little time. Take you time and don’t get caught speeding through conversations.

Buckle Up, Baby. Remember, it doesn’t have to be a Bumpy Ride.

Kelly, a serious serial dater, has two interview skills and claims that’s all she needs. She listens carefully and asks a handful of questions, which launch 100 word answers. Like a fly fisherman, she deftly snaps the line into the water and allows the date do his job.

The Top 20 Questions to Get the Conversation Rolling.

1. Tell me about your best friend.
2. Tell me about you very worst job.
3. What was your very first car?
4. What was your best job?
5. Tell me about your family and where you grew up.
6. Tell me about your very favorite relative.
7. Tell me all the places you’ve worked.
8. Who is your favorite female movie star?
9.  What hobbies do you spend money on?
10. What’s you very favorite song?
11. Tell me one really life-changing moment?
12. When did you meet your very first girlfriend/boyfriend?
13. Where and when was your first kiss and with whom?
14. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?
15. Have you ever been arrested?
16. Tell me the most romantic date you’ve ever planned.
17. They say, “Women shop and men buy.” What is one store you wouldn’t be caught dead in?
18. Have you ever used drugs?
19. Tell me what your perfect day-off looks like?
20. If someone gave you two free tickets to anywhere in the world – where would you go?

 Getting the Conversation Rolling: Try one or 10 of these questions next time you meet another interesting, available person. Bon Chance!

“I want relations which are not purely personal, based on purely personal qualities; but relations based upon some unanimous accord in truth or belief, and a harmony of purpose, rather than of personality. I am weary of personality. Let us be easy and impersonal, not forever fingering over our own souls, and the souls of our acquaintances, but trying to create a new life, a new common life, a new complete tree of life from the roots that are within us.

D. H. Lawrence

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at


Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.


Psst! Prince Charming is already taken…keep looking

From the beginning,Kiki knew exactly the kind of man she wanted to meet, date and marry. She wanted to meet a ‘prince.’ She was raised on a diet of happily ever after, Cinderella, Snow White and handsome fairy-tale princes.

 Still single and 34, she has spent years of research, analysis, dreaming and plotting.

There Were Psychics in her Future

She lighted a candle every morning and whispered a chant- to draw the perfect man into her life. Once a month she burned sage to purify and to attract.

She carried a tiny, pink quartz heart in her purse- guaranteed by a shaman in Mexico to entice her perfect soul mate. He blessed the stone and wished her well.

She wore an Elsa Peretti silver heart necklace. A clairvoyant on Maui sold her a True Love talisman: a gold ring with a spray of embossed stars.

Every New Years, she created a vision board replete with multiple pictures of ‘Her Special Man.” She carefully selected magazine pictures of where they would travel and what they would wear; she knew the exact Tiffany ring he would buy her and dreamt about the simple, cream-colored, Shantung wedding dress; she changed her mind about the flowers for the wedding every few years. She is in the white Peony stage, this year.

She Made a List…And Another…

Kiki was currently very certain about the glam condo where they would live. She knew lofts were the most recent rage. Years earlier, she was into ‘cute cottages.” She chose the eclectic- yet-elegant- 12 place settings – China from Gump’s, the Waterford crystal glassware and the perfect Georg Jensen Acorn pattern silver.

She threw Tarot cards. She took all of her very spiritual and secretive rituals seriously.

Kiki ( Katherine at work)  is the CFO of a burgeoning Silicon Valley company. Her “cred” would evaporate if people knew the True Love Romance Seeker side of her.

She will admit, as the years went by, she was more willing to compromise. Her “Must Have” lists – once pages of character traits, income, GPA, education, background has dwindled to a “Top 25 Traits.”

She tried and was generally put off by the whole scene until one day a man reached out and flattered her. He liked her photo and her comment about Andy Goldsworthy at the Presidio. One thing led to another – emails, phone calls, a walk in the Presidio and bam!

Kiki went from “My Man Must Have” to totally smitten by a non-Ivy Leaguer, gentleman who found her “most attractive, smart and fun.”

He could sing, was a great dancer, could create organic gourmet meals, make her laugh everyday and was very kind. And, sexy. She took him to a work-related event and he easily charmed many of her co-workers.

One very blissful and fulfilled year later, they eloped and have been happily ever after.

Okay, so maybe Kiki didn’t live in Camelot.

She lived and fell in love in Campbell. And, so it goes.



Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly.  Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.   Mark Twain

The Poetry of List-Making

Dating newbie? Bewitched, bothered and bewildered?


Yes, Binkie, “Dating at 50” can be a challenge – in the best of times.

Have you discovered there is no harmony on eHarmony? And found that Craigslist is a nightmare of anonymous “Not-my-types?”

Has linked you up with the wacky, too thin, too hyper ballerina or shock jock like Charlie Sheen- who actually need Two and Half Men in white coats?

Yes, dating and developing your social networking 2016 is a laughing matter.

Who Moved My Rules?

Since your very first date of yore- the Rules of Dating have changed dramatically. If you remember San Francisco’s randy fern-bar days (Henry Africa’s, Thomas Lord’s, and Paoli’s) and you are A Classic “Re-enter and Suddenly Single in San Francisco” – Buckle up, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

First of all, the Playing Field you remember is no longer level and things have gotten a whole lot faster.  And the uniforms are really short! Don’t even start to talk about scoring and making points. You will have to adjust and get up to speed. There are hundreds of websites comparing, contrasting and social networks (Dating Sites) for you to explore.

Dating 2016 versus Dating 20 Years Ago

Once upon a time, you may have known the pace, the place, and the attire and could do all Three Modes of Communication: pithy, banter, and clever repartee.

Update: 2016 The once revered art of conversation has been pushed off the pedestal to make room for text messaging, e-mail, swiping, smart phones, and, smile, you are on Skype. Don’t get me started on Tinder.

So Many Books, So Little Time

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man has shards of wisdom scattered throughout. Stroll down the aisles of your library and pick up three or four dating books.(Dating for Dummies is really a treasure trove. As is, the classic : He is Just Not That Into You 

The best selling dating how-to-book, The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a lark and a laugh and is peppered with some pretty good ideas for dating at 50.

Hot Tips: Get off the couch and out of the house. Don’t waste time on a dead-end relationship. Notice the red flags and move on. Whoever asks, pays.

And, if things get dicey, remember those two magic words, ‘Check, please!”

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

Don’t miss – a single Page Larkin column – click the Subscribe computer

“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.”

Daniel Boone


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