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A Love Story: Mr Right in the Laundry Room?

Who Have You Fixed Up Lately?

Suddenly Single... Minded

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible —

and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” — Pearl S. Buck

kids_-7 

Sally, 52  and single again- had not been on a date in over four years. She admitted she, “Gave up on the whole dating scene.”

She was busy with friends, family, work and myriad interests. Her best friends were three married couples – they met in college and travelled together once a year. She called them “The Couples.”

Last year, she was on a holiday to Colorado with The Couples.

One night, she was in the  laundry room at the  Vail condo.  A guy came in with a ton of laundry to do and they started chatting. Asking the right questions, he found out that Sally from California was single, smart, traveling with friends and easy-going and fun to talk to.

He very quickly…

View original post 313 more words

You MAE go WEST, young man


The Best: Mae West Quotes

Mae West was witty, ribald, risque and naughty. She was also very smart.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

  • A hard man is good to find.
  • A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.



A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
 kiss

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

  • He who hesitates… is a damned fool.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.




Unfurl

Dating 101:Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

dice-161376__180 Q. Do you Yelp?

 A. Only If I am pinched!

Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Dear Page,

I am 43, single again and decided to start over – and date younger women. I went online – decided to look for women on Yelp. I am a big Yelp Review Dude. In three months, I have dated six much younger women – all dead ends.

First, I met Danniey – she said she was “26 and a restaurant critic.” Curious, I asked her where she had recently dined she sent me her three recent reviews. This is “whot she wrote”

Too Fat: This place is by far the worst burger place I have went to.

Coming into Fat Burger, three people greeted us. I thought that was so sweet of them. Not a lot of burger joints will greet you that way. Anyways, it took my friend and I a while to figure out what we want. They go by weight of the meat and you have options of toppings to put on your burger

My friend and I got the same meal! Which was the 1/3 burger. The only difference between our food was that I got curly fries and he got skinny fries.

Fowl Play: Once before I got fried chicken with their tartar sauce with sides of rice and potato salad. My food came out and it looked delicious. In my opinion, the portion of the chicken were so big that it was really filling. I enjoyed the potato salad on the side.

It was my friend’s birthday and we decided to drink before we decided to go to this place. It was a little after 10:30pm when we ordered and my friends and I were super hungry. To be honest, I don’t remember being too loud but according to one of the workers there, we were being “way too loud” The owner says,”We’re closed, the kitchen is closed.” Apparently she was trying to kick us out. We will not go back. Ever.

We went to Fishermans Grotto in Frisco – very high class. Really good place to have clam chowder when you are near the Pier. They had two types of clam chowder (Boston and I forgot what the other one was called.) Both served in a bread bowl of desired. I also ordered calamari. It was good but not the best I have had. The place was really fancy and high classed.

On the phone, – she is a sweet girl. I was thinking Eliza Dolittle – then, decided against it.

Next was Shenikqua –  29, divorced, outgoing, friendly and lives in the Mission. Her Yelp handle is “On  a mission.” We spoke on the phone – she really wanted me to go her nail salon with her. She sent me her Yelp review – and this is what she wrote:

Darn, be pretty is taking too much of my time. Me like this nail salon. Gentlemen are welcome too.. I’ve seen several men came in to get their mani, pedi ( without painting ) & also facial treatments..;). You guys will be treated like a King, lol .. Heaven isn’t far away !!

I use to double my happiness by grabbing an Ice Sea Salt Coffee from 85 Bakery ( it was in the same plaza ) and enjoy my Queen’s time …Highly recommend this salon !! Life is short .. Just reward yourself with some simple pleasures …We never know what’s going to happen tomorrow, right ?!!

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I knew from the start we probably might not be a fit. Her Nail salon date and review blew me away.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

Then I met Kellie aka “Missy Food Xpert” in San Mateo. She, too, was happy to send me her review of a good restaurant for a first date.

The Fry House

The combination of meat, salad & sauce were delicious and tasty. I can’t help myself when I saw the chili hot sauce, adding on the spice always make it better for me. Be careful if you’re not into spicy side because this sauce is Smocking Hot..

This place is new, clean and fun decorations. There’s tables for dine in but with quite a bit amount of customers it will be hard for a big group or family.

Page, Yelp is not the place to meet single women. I struck out. Any ideas?

New in Town and Searching

Dear New In Town,

You get Gold Stars for trying! First: Date your own decade. Next, look at this: Get Your Mojo Moving. Try those Top 5 tips and let me know how that works for you.

Peace, Page Larkin

Matchmakers: you get what you pay for – really?

 

How much is that date?

TV celebrity, Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger is still like a house on fire: noisy, loud, alarming, hot and gets a lot of attention.

She is not an elegant, professional woman.

On the first season of her TV show, often self-described as “wildly successful.” Stanger wasn’t as crass or as shrill. Someone must have advised her to emulate the style of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Ranting and raving are now Stanger’s calling card. You have to love Reality TV. Or not.

Patti charges men $25k+ a year and female “millionairesses” $55k for 28 months of unlimited introductions.

Evidently, female clients take longer to match? Aw, come on….

A quick poll at a San Francisco Pilates studio, a nail salon and around a water cooler determined:  28 months of working with the shrill and tactless Stanger would be 26 months too long.

Perhaps there are better people to check out. Local Matchmakers can charge $3,000 to $100,000, depending on their exclusivity, the number of matches and just how many dates they promise. I don’t know if two dates a month for a $3,000 is cost-effective, realistic, or a rip-off.

They say there are thousands of singles using hundreds of matchmakers.

The three most popular that you hear about are: eLove, It’s Just Lunch, the Millionaire’s Club.  (See Yelp and Reviews)

You do the math:

One Los Angeles-based matchmaking service charges $2,500 to $25,000 annually –  for an average of 2.2 introductions per month.

Two “introductions” x 12 months = 24 introductions…go figure.

SEE: Matchmaker- Tell Me the Truth

What on Earth were they thinking?


The Top Dating BuzzKills: Selfies, Emojis….

“Clever Tim from Portrero Hill ” instantly alienated a half-dozen women by writing his introductory online “Flirty” email using “cute Emojis.” What he perceived as creative – women all took to be childish and primitive. Dull times three, Timbo. 

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“Devilish Denny in Danville” was very pleased with himself. He finally graduated from taking pictures of himself in the mirror to taking real “Selfies.” He was snapping a lot of Selfies… in parking lots, sitting on his friend’s Harley or with a good-looking waitress.  “Selfies, the vanity” are for rank amateurs. Delete them, Binkie.

 

Lusty Linda in Livermore calls herself a Dating Machine.  She now uses Picmonkey to enhance all of her online dating photographs. With Picmonkey, you can crop, erase, improve, and enhance any photo with a few clicks. Like magic. Linda is so good at ‘improving’ her photographs, that, unfortunately, Coffee Date Guys have walked past her – looking for a younger, thinner, woman.

Every artist was first an amateur.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

EarthLust

Men are like fine wine

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This was sent to Page Larkin

by Evelyn J.  age 88

A Real Man

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

Bronze buddah in the parkHe will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be her most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible self.

Hearts on a line

No, wait!  I’m sorry…I’m thinking of wine.

Never mind.

.photo_1839_20060807

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent

offers a Three-hour Dating Mojo workshop every month.

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

 Saturdays  TBA 10 AM to 1 PM

 

  • Cost: $49
  • Limit: eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (Additional  Information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@gmail.com *photo_11785_20090615peacock*******//******

Here are 5 Easy Ways to get  ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’ and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking text/emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and SF)
  3. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony- ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The recent foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.  Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel: Suddenly Single Date World
  4. Volunteer Check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations- St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion..
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is delicious.

Free Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes
FACT: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed:

Men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons. Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

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Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,

Sing as if no one is listening, 

Love as if you have never been hurt, 

and Dance as if no one is watching”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sad man

 A fear of dating?

Now is the Time to curb your “Fear of Dating”

What are you afraid of, Binkie?

So what if you are: Fresh out-of-the-box, Right off the shelf, and new to the dating game?

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the dating game. Sometimes getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed, the game is faster and the uniforms are a lot shorter. The days of courting and being coy are as out dated as hot pants and polyester. Afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations. There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things). For your information:

The Top Ten Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone

2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten

3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage

4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking

5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex

6. Gynophobia – fear of women

7. Hominophobia -fear of men

8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed

9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons

10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night.

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:

“ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Smart Women – Dumb Choices?


Best ADVICE:  Hide your IQ  and 
Show your bra strap…

Hey, smarty pants!

The University of Chicago describes itself  as The place fun came to die.”

September, 1980, 24 freshmen girls sat around two large oak tables while the dorm RA, Barbara, reviewed the rules: curfew, visiting hours, and security.After her 30-minute orientation, she closed the three-ring binder, looked up and said, “That’s it. Welcome to the University of Chicago. Off the record, I’ve got one other piece of advice.  My freshmen RA told me this and I am passing on to you.  In case you’re interested in dating a guy in college: hide your IQ and show your bra strap.”

The girls had all pretended to listen to the rules and regulation part of the presentation, however when Barbara, the cool upper classman – an Amazon, with long flaxen hair, the embroidered peasant blouse, faded jeans, and cool hecho en Mexico- huaraches mentioned the words “date and men” all 24 pairs of eyes were on her.  Enrapt.

“Yeah, hide your IQ. Hey, we were all 4.0, we all had the highest SAT scores, and you were probably all student body presidents, right? And, how many of you were cheerleaders or prom queens?” The girl from Nevada raised her hand, and put it down quickly. Barbara smiled at the poor little sheep that had lost their way and quipped, “I rest my case.”

Their new idol, now seemingly smarter and sexier than an hour before, picked up her binder, scanned the room and said, “Men are intimidated by smart women. Even here. It’s a fact. I am a junior, I have been here for three long years.”

“Finally, never knock on my door before 9 am or after 9 pm.” Her back was to us as she walked out of the room and called out, “Enjoy college, girls”

Lingering in Lingerie

The sage advice caused an eruption of discussion and Ms Nevada said she came to Chicago to meet ‘the Susan Sontags and Mike Nichols not the Carl Sagan and Milton Friedman types.’ The girls were initially bemused and confused. Twenty years before women burned bras and now – show and tell? Cool.

Do smart women intimidate men?

There is a Mensa party every Wednesday night in San Rafael (disguised as Trivia Night at the Broken Drum) Chances are most attendees at Trivia Night graduated from Ivy League schools. You see a lot of Penn, Cal, Stanford, and MIT logos on Wednesday nights. The trivia-teams compete furiously and the questions become more and more challenging as the evening transpires. Interestingly enough, 50% of the attendees are women. Really smart women. They show and tell. The word on the street is that the women succeed at scoring – on every level…academically and socially, IQ’s in full view.

And the men enjoy the exchange and banter.

The well-intentioned advice from a 20 year old in Chicago in 1980 inspired a spate of lingerie shopping for a dozen very smart coeds and the men on campus were luckier for it.

woman-1329790__340

“All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality;  

all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority

belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, 

and it is necessary for one side to beat another side.”

Virginia Woolf

 

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

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Men are like dogs? AKA: The perfect boyfriend

dog2_7501_20080925

Men are like dogs? Says who?

Chanel, aka ‘Ms. K-9 of Nob Hill’ is the famous neighborhood dog walker. She is tall and lean, with an impressive mane of long, silver hair and always has a cadre of canines in tow.

You see Chanel on California Street and Powell Street, slogging up Washington Street with her pack of dogs of all different sizes, colors, and breeds.

She runs a tightly orchestrated canine parade. Ms K-9 of Nob Hill is free with quick commands, kibbles and treats for her motley crew. She has a smattering of little white pooches and some pedigrees and others with no degrees.

Without as much as a prompt, she shared her philosophical position on dating and men. The Downward Dog? No.

She started her diatribe comparing men and dogs – however, with a little softening around the edges and and finessing her observations, we concluded:

The top 6reasons a great guy is like a good dog:

  1. The perfect boyfriend is loyal.
  2. He comes when he’s called.
  3. He appreciates a treat.
  4. He gives you unconditional love and is always happy to see you.
  5. The perfect boyfriend always has your back.
  6. He waits, patiently, for you to finish your dinner.

That’s all!

If you want to be fetching and more popular with the ladies, all you have to do is emulate ‘man’s best friend.’

And, you might want to  loyal, cheerful, helpful, friendly, courteous and brave…all are keys to your success.

Wear Sunscreen, Coke is good for you, I am single – really! Internet Hoaxes

What is in your….Commencement Speech? Fact or Fiction?

Suddenly Single... Minded

pilttttPILTDOWN MAN was the hoax of the century.

However, the famous Kurt Vonnegut MIT commencement speech, Wear Sunscreen, has to be right up there with the Top 10 Internet Hoaxes. Vonnegut is famous for his writing, especially: Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions. Both were mandatory reading in the ‘70’s for members of the Boom Boom Generation.

Vonnegut, an icon and a hero, supposedly delivered the 1997 speech at MIT. It was a shopping list of life’s lessons filled with glib advice and pithy pointers on living well and coloring outside the lines:

  • Do one thing every day that scares you.
  • Sing.
  • Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
  • Floss.
  • Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
  • Remember compliments you…

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Tips: The Best and Worst Opening Lines

comics-1299500__340The Good, the Bad and the Ugly?

John J. in Los Gatos is friendly, fun and flirty.

Note: Women love this. This is a “formula note” he sends out after a women has looked at his dating profile:         

Hello.  Thank you for perusing my profile. I like YOURS too. I was also lousy in Chemistry until entering the dating world. I notice you seek someone less than 47 miles away…Too bad I live 48 miles away (LOL kidding, it’s actually twice that distance;-). Three years ago I, too, lived in SF – had a wonderful apartment on Chestnut & Van Ness.  I wish we had met on-line then! I used to run in Golden Gate Park (until knee surgery ended my running career and started my cool new biking habit;-) Thanks, again for the look! Best of luck in finding that very lucky local SF Dude. Ciao Bella, John J in Los Gatos

Huge Points for John J. who is proactive, positive, flirty and friendly. His ‘form letter’ garners more attention than a wink or a one-liner. Go, John J.! frog-prince-398828__180

Mikey 68 (“A jock with bad knees but a good heart”) was a PE Major, not a creative writer,  who hired a  professional writer to enhance his online dating profile.  They talked – she took notes, and two days later, she came back with a new iamge: Michael 101.

He went from a bumbling Jimmy Kimmel to smooth Jimmy Stewart. He debated about keeping his long past profession (Veterinarian) out of the picture – she insisted he blatantly brag about being a Doctor. She said single women are on the look out for professionals. She also encouraged him to insert a passion for reading all things Jane Austen. She sent him links to Jane Austen for Dummies and The Cliff Notes.  She also changed his online name to  ‘Mr Darcy.” His opening line is, Call me Tall dark and handsome and I will follow you any where. Mr Darcy. His “ratings” went up. Way Up.

Tons of email every week:  Michael/Mr Darcy  gets a ton of winks, emails, and canned greetings from women all over the country. Whether it is his picture, his winning personality/profession as a DR,  Or his ghost-writer’s finesse in creating a faux Prince. He is only slightly embarrassed when women discover he has none of Mr Darcy’s attributes. Glib, he says Austen is ‘fiction.’  Truth or Dare? He is convinced he will meet a sweetheart. not_match-aCall me Timbo  (62, hunter, NRA devotee, catches fish with his hands)

He lives in an “A-state.” He is looking for one woman with whom to spend the rest of his life.  The other three did not work out. Clever man, got ahold of an NRA Club roster. Timbo had 200 post cards made with his picture on them. He and his son addressed and stamped all the cards with the message: “Wanted: My Last Date. Must be single and like dogs.” He got a few nibbles…nothing panned out. Next, with the help of the librarian, he joined Match.com and  wrote: “Sugar Daddy seeks Hot Mama” much to the chagrin of Marian librarian.

He was swamped with responses. At first, he was excited by all the attention. Then all the coffee shop dates, phone calls and driving “all over hell and high-water” to  meet all the s0-called “hot mamas” was exhausting.

Throwing in the towel, Timbo says, he is quitting the dating business- he prefers the company of his dogs.dog2_7501_20080925

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people

than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie

Got a Fear of Dating – please curb your sexophobia

kids_-7

Fresh out-of-the-box.  Right off the shelf.  Right off  the boat. Dating neophytes

There are a lot of metaphors for people who are just back in the Dating Game. For some, getting back into the swing of dating can be daunting. If you have been out of the game for a while, you may notice dating today is a little more complex than it was a decade or two ago.

Not only is the playing field no longer level, the rules have changed. And,  the game is faster and the ‘uniforms’ are a lot shorter. The days of yore-  courting and being coy – are as out dated as hot pants and polyester.

Are you afraid to make a move? There are tons of fears, frights, scares and trepidations.

There are even dating phobias which are irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain nouns (persons, places, things).

For your information:

The Top 10 Common Fears Known to Single Men and Women

1. Isolophobia – fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – fear of women
7. Hominophobia – fear of men
8. Clinophobia – fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- fear of the dark or night/

Franklin D Roosevelt said it best:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself –

nameless, unreasoning, unjustified,

terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

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