Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the category “Page Larkin Date guide”

Computer Dating: Hearts or Solitaire? Your deal

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Once Upon a time, in 1966, the rage was a new trend called “Computer Dating”

Boxes of colored IBM punch cards and computers the size of a Volkswagen Bug

were de rigueur.

‘Matchmakers’ were considered old fashioned and passé. Having “Hal” the computer, do the work was the hot, new way to get boys and girls together. It was groovy and neat. Need a date for a hootenanny?

“Thousands of boys and girls who’ve never met plan weekends together, for now that punch-card dating’s here, can flings be far behind? And oh, it’s so right, baby. The Great God Computer has sent the word. Fate. Destiny. Go-go-go.”— Look Magazine, February 1966

Picky, Picky, Picky: Online dating peccadilloes

So what has changed since the thrilling 1960’s?  Today, there are dozens of studies analyzing every aspect of online dating, comparisons of dating sites, and coping with being Suddenly Single.   Analysis done at UC Berkeley indicates that when it come to on line dating.  women tend to be much pickier than men. Interesting.  It also sounds like the girls are a lot less flexible in their ‘Preferences’ for age and ethnicity than the boys.  Perhaps more girls are still subscribing to that old hunter-gatherer syndrome: Men hunt – Women wait to be contacted?

What’s up with that? Bon vivant, Johnny in Los Gatos says ‘It’s all a numbers game. And, you’ve got to get in the game or you don’t get to play.” Game on!

By the see – by the see

Evidence also states that men involved in Online Dating, cast a wider net than women.  Guys generally have very few limits, or restrictions, when they are looking for their potential dates. As a rule, guys tend to contact more women – more often. Men are consistently labeled as being ‘visual’.  

Some guys  get  “virtual whiplash” from all the speedy scanning  photographs of women on

FACT: For men it is are all about pictures.

 Dating guru, Dr Diana Kirschner, author of the best selling, Love in 90 Days, encourages women to register on, at least, two dating sites and to make the date quest a daily priority.   Bottom line? Lighten up, enjoy the game and make friends. Be careful out there.

Feeling alone together?


“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.”Greta Garbo

The Ditch The Dude Letters

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m dating a guy who claims he loves me- but he is busy every weekend with the boys. I see him once a week, Wednesday nights, when he comes over for dinner. What shall I do?

All Alone in Alamo

Dear All Alone in Alamo,

Ditch the dude. If he really “loved” you, he would make time to see you early and often.

Love, Page.

Hey, Page,

I am madly in love with Mr Wonderful; he is tall, dark and handsome. He is also very romantic and sweet. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a job and is couch-surfing at various friend’s homes. He has invented an iPhone holder and a hat with an iPod sleeve which could make him very rich. We are weekend lovers and I don’t hear from him all week. What shall I do?    Crazy in love

Dear Crazy in Love,

Being in love is intoxicating and exciting. However, sometimes clear thinking becomes muddled. You have enough red flags in this relationship to made red dresses for an entire army of Flamenco dancers. Ditch the dude.

Love, Page

Dear Page,

I was so darn tired of the online dating scene, I signed up for the Wine Country Matchmaker. I paid $3000 for three months and was told I would get a lot of high quality “perfect matches.” I met two guys. Both were dead ends. Then I met, Charly. He has a job, owns his home, is nice enough – but, he had five cats. He loves his cats and talks about them, and takes pictures of them, all the time. I hate cats. Unless all five die soon, I might quit him. Not a Cra Cat Lady.

Dear Not A Cra Cat Lady,

The infamous Wine Country Matchmaker you mentioned has been called ‘shady’ and worse, by many. Get your money back. Regarding the Cat man: Meow. Ditch the Dude. Love, Page 


Put on your running shoes!


Are you a 2- Timer? Do you Rate a Second Date?

golden-gate-bridge-691925__180We all do it. We wonder, mull, ponder and dwell on it.

We dissect our dates and thoroughly analyze them. Every minute

 Eve is probably the only woman in history who didn’t worry about the competition.

Are  you bewitched, bothered and bewildered wondering if  the first date went well and if he will ask you out again? Do an instant replay.

While a scorecard isn’t necessary, there are some very definite clues.

Here they are: The Top 10 Reasons He Will Ask You Out Again

1. You look exactly like your current, up to date, photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice”.

2. You offered to pay half – you are obviously thoughtful and evolved.

3. You both laughed and share a similar sense of humor. Obvious comfort level established.

4. You had one drink – and so did he. Both on very good behavior. Major points.

5. You both passed the Chemistry test with blinking, winking, flashing, flying colors.

6. You each complimented one another during the course of the first date.

7. You enjoyed his company and there was a palpable sense of chemistry.

8. You have a lot in common and like similar things: the Giants, foreign movies, Golden State Warriors, Curry: Steph and other;  Gaudi, chocolate, Blue Bottle Coffee, Camera Obscura…

9. You each have an amusing Internet dating story and refrained from ex-bashing or negative anecdotes.

10. Foregone conclusion: You both had fun and were relaxed and are looking forward to the next date.


How is that working for you?

Get out there and have fun


Deja Vu all over again – dating the one who got away

ties-756226__180The Déjà vu Date, also referred to as a the “Re Date” is a dating phenomenon widely embraced by singles today.

Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and for a ‘Second chance at love.’

Webster might define a Deja vu date as an active verb with legs: “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

One Date Wonders

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach and disappear. It smacks of Goldilocks: too hard, too soft, too weird or just too the-timing-was-not-right.

There are a million stories in the dated city.
The concept of a Re Date introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were too rash, at first blush.

If at first you don’t succeed, Re Date.

Bobby J. has been called, among other things, a “Perpetual Bachelor.” He has an iPhone crammed with phone numbers, a little Black Book, plus a Rolodex filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.

Let’s just say he has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.
He said, “Re Dating is like a romantic breakthrough, where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to heartily connect, again.” Bravo, Bobby!

startup_dating__180The Online Dating Buffet

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of online pictures and dating profiles on the on line dating sites is very similar to a never-ending buffet line or jaunt through a candy store.
The problem is  the wide assortment, it stultifies. Both men and women admits to be overwhelmed, minds get muddled and hearts go thump in the night.
Mistakes are made and we all think about the one who got away.
The answer: Re Date. Give it a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Text that cutie that got way. 


“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”

Virginia Woolf


Try a Re Date Today and drop me at line at:


New member of the “Not Married Now” club?

Wonderful insights and tips to the Suddenly Single- Waking Up Divorced

Suddenly Single... Minded

coffee-mugs-datte_180Every day there are tons of new members in the Not Married Now Club.

We walk out of the courtroom glazed, delighted, defeated, feeling numb or ecstatic and newly appointed: divorced.

Some of us throw a party – replete with champagne and pizza – or darts and beer. Others take to their beds, and watch a full season of OccupiedBroadchurch, or Happy Valley on Netflix, barely paying attention.

Some are already enmeshed in a new relationship and seek sex, refuge and understanding.

Whatever your state (grace, confusion, ire, relief) take the proper amount of processing time.

When you are ready, gently remove and discard the shroud around your heart. It may take awhile. Or not.

Next, shred the mountains of documents and go outside.


Go Outside:  Watch the sunrise, take a walk, enjoy/join humanity in your new identity as a Single Person : Suddenly Single…

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A Love Story: Mr Right in the Laundry Room?

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible —

and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” — Pearl S. Buck


Sally, 52  and single again- had not been on a date in over four years. She admitted she, “Gave up on the whole dating scene.”

She was busy with friends, family, work and myriad interests. Her best friends were three married couples – they met in college and travelled together once a year. She called them “The Couples.”

Last year, she was on a holiday to Colorado with The Couples.

One night, she was in the  laundry room at the  Vail condo.  A guy came in with a ton of laundry to do and they started chatting. Asking the right questions, he found out that Sally from California was single, smart, traveling with friends and easy-going and fun to talk to.

He very quickly put his laundry in the machines and left.

Upstairs, the happily married man with laundry and told his single friend, Casey, to rush down to the laundry room and meet the attractive, single woman there.

His buddy told him to hurry – she was on the spin cycle.

All Casey had was a suitcase full of clean clothes, but he grabbed 10 pieces of clothing and shoved them into the laundry basket. At his friend’s urging – he quickly ran down the hall and, nonchalantly walked into the laundry room.

His opening line was, ”Hey, nice night.” Then he asked inane questions about the change machine location. A big red sign in the corner screamed, “Change machine.”  Casey nervously fed the dollar bills in the machine, got change, and put all this clean clothes in the washing machine.

Wisely, he asked Sally if he should be using hot water or cold for cotton. The conversations commenced. It is easy to go from 100% Cotton to poly blends to hiking, fishing, books, and favorite movies.

Sally thought the guy was cute –although he didn’t seem to know his way around a laundry room. She admits she put extra quarters into the dryer to prolong her stay.

At one point, she went back to her condo, combed her hair, put on blush and lip-gloss and a cleaner, tighter, cuter        T-shirt. She returned nonchalantly…

Casey was folding his super clean clothes and asked Sally if she wanted to join him for a glass of wine at the pub next door. She agreed, only if he would hike to the end of the property the following morning. It was a date! And then there was another date…and another.

Casey and Sally are now “A Couple” – thanks to a good friend who played Cupid in the laundry room.


Who have you fixed up lately?


San Francisco: your dating paradise?

guys i datesdSan Francisco – a world class city – is replete with more hills, hotels, and restaurants than any other city.

Don’t Call it Frisco

Since the Gold Rush, hoards of kids have flocked to San Francisco for myriad reasons; jobs, parties, freedom, music, the arts, the Summer of Love, Dot Commmies, a Silicon Vally escape, vacations and getaways.

Timeless and enduring: the City has more fun things to do on a date than any other. 

You will never hear, “There is nothing to do.”



First Dates: Top 15 Great Ideas for a First Date

Ride a cable car half-way to the stars; explore the four glamorous hotels on Nob Hill;  walk the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral; walk over to the other cathedral – St. Mary’s on Geary and Gough;  drop into Japantown for lunch; hop a 38 Geary bus – ride to the Ocean. Explore Land’s End, and climb up to the Palace of Legion of Honor.

Climb to Coit Tower, spend hours revealing in and traversing Golden Gate Park; explore  the Presidio and go bowling; find the famous nude beach. Is there a Cartoon Museum?  Explore famous neighborhoods, discover the famous, hidden stairways (Stairway Walks in San Francisco) monuments, bars and myriad  restaurants beyond compare.


Ghosts of parties past: Some of us grew up at  Enrico’s, Ernie’s, Vanessi’s, Doro’s, Paoli’s, The Blue Fox, Blum’s and Trader Vic’s on Cosmo Place.

In 1973, The City had 207 bookstores (French, Italian, German,Irish, Russian, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Hebrew, Cinema, Radical, Art) of every size, shape and chapter. You don’t want know how few bookstores we have now.

appleThank you, Green Apple!

How many hills San Francisco? See here

San Francisco…

A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M. A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays. San Francisco is such a city.

Herb Caen


Online dating photos: Get in the skin game?

222.Dear Page Larkin,

You are right! It is all about the pictures with online dating.

I spent hours creating a cute, sexy, profile. I plugged my favorite romantic places, my love for Victoria’s Secret, and love for skiing and hot cars.

Being a virtual Virgin, I only posted one good photo (from work,)

Yes, the men from “ The A states” (Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas) responded. I want to meet the guy next door-next Town-next County.

You said, “A  good picture’s worth 1000 flirts.” I had a friend take 15 photos of me in V-Neck blouses, low cut tops, strappy and strapless tops and Bam! My mailbox is full of notes and winks. Tell the girls, it’s true. Don’t waste time on purple prose; it’s all about the clothes and the pictures.

Kelly In Carmichael

Dear Kelly,  Thank you – and this is a tricky, slippery slope. It is great to receive  a plethora of posts from  men who are interested in you via photo and it’s even better when you have lots in common.  See the letter from Bertha Gomez of Santa Clara who met the love of her life on

Dear Page, (Perhaps my story is unique.)

 I was on for six months and ready to quit when I got a note from a guy –  he had a strange profile name and average pictures.  I thought, “Oh, what a heck,” and I read his profile.  He had me on the first sentence.  He was clever and funny and very smart.  We liked a lot of the same things.  And, I responded.  On our 4th date he revealed he didn’t like my profile picture because of the hat I was wearing (a very expensive, attractive sun hat.) We have been together for two years. He is the love of my life, and we are engaged. It happens!

Bertha Gomez 

Dear Bertha: All the Single Girls love your story! 

 See Here: Five Examples: Bad Photos- What Not to Do

Classic examples of what not to do: Do not hide behind a camera; nobody wants to see the back of your head. Hiding behind  glasses and bouquet of flowers-not a great idea. And, chugging a bottle of wine?  You might want to rethink that message.


Happy Spring! Tell me your love story.





Curling – Romancing the stone – with Kizzle Kazzle

Kizzle Dazzle and a glass of Rumbledethumps! Pure Bliss.

Suddenly Single... Minded

photo_5939_20080515Romancing the stone…

Curling, the novel and  very mysterious  Scottish sport, created in the 16th century, is the Olympic focus Friday and Saturday on NBC ~Everybody’s talking about the novel sport on ice involving great patience and a sweeping technique.

Curling involves four players and simple equipment consisting of a 42-pound stone and brooms. The players, called Sleepers, guide the stone and frantically sweep the ice with brooms. Yes, brooms.                                                

And there’s great slang like kizzle kazzle – what’s not to like about Curling?

Cynics say Curling is like watching the famous TV Yule Log, so popular on Christmas day, because both are mildly entertaining, totally relaxing and a little slow.

Tossing the First Stone

Imagine: Scotland in 1590, freezing temps, a stark and bleak landscape and frozen rivers and ponds all around.  So what else would you do after a hearty meal of haggis, laddie?   You hit the…

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Can a guy 60 and suddenly-single get a date with a “normal” woman?

Dating at 50+ – True Story!

Suddenly Single... Minded

photo_842_20060115scaleRoger the dating neophyte: and a tale of two coaches

 Our pal, Roger (62, newly divorced) had been failing miserably at Dating 2014. He mumbled, bumbled and babbled. He fancied himself to be Fred Astaire – dashing- and he was more of a Fred Flintstone- daunting.

 His neighbor, the 30-something, quasi Prince of Nerds – offered to be his “coach.” Tim had a good heart and no clue about dating over 50+, ethics or the real world. His advice to embellish the truth and “lie” didn’t work for Roger. Thanks to Tim, Roger was caught ‘faking it’ about books, movies, and popular TV shows. One woman called him “a misogynist and a misanthrope” for liking the book, Gone Girl. He quickly deleted the book from his dating profile “Likes.”

 Oblivious to “What Women Want,” You’re Fired, Tim.

 Looks like, Roger’s young dating coach read one issue…

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