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Dating 101:Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Do you Yelp? Only if I am pinched…Can you meet a sweetheart on Yelp?

Suddenly Single... Minded

dice-161376__180 Q. Do you Yelp?

 A. Only If I am pinched!

Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Dear Page,

I am 43, single again and decided to start over – and date younger women. I went online – decided to look for women on Yelp. I am a big Yelp Review Dude In three months, I have dated six much younger women – all dead ends.

First, I met Danniey – she said she was 26 and a restaurant critic. Curious, I asked her where she had recently dined she sent me her three recent reviews. This is “whot she wrote”

Too Fat: This place is by far the worst burger place I have went to.

Coming into Fat Burger, three people greeted us. I thought that was so sweet of them. Not a lot of burger joints will greet you that way. Anyways, it took my friend and I a while…

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Free Dating Advice for Men

 The sign says:

‘No Girls Allowed’

 There is a quiet and powerful campaign for men to “Mensch up.” What’s a Mensch? Webster’s says: n. Informal, pl., mensch·es, or mensch·en (m?n’sh?n). A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose:

Nietzsche wrote, “An uber-mensch as described by Zarathustra, is the one who is willing to risk all for the sake of enhancement of humanity.” You go, man.

If this Yiddish word conjures images of a Mel Brooks bit with a chorus line of Rabbis singing,

“Be a Mensch! Be a Mensch!” we are on the same page.

Where are the Better Men?

Wayne Levine, is a remarkable mentor, coach, author and founder of the excellent organization, Bettermen.org. He leads workshops and seminars and is a catalyst for men to become the great guys they were meant to be. Check out his short, sweet, to the point, video clips on becoming a better man.

Wayne Levine is a’ better man’; as a result, the world is a better place. Any man, who teaches his brothers to lead from the heart, and become best men, fathers, husbands, and leaders, is a hero.

hearts74__180Levine says doing the work to be a better man is an inside job. You gotta have heart. He touches upon the importance of integrity, exercise, communication, friendship, exploration and transformation


Best Dating Advice for Men

Levine claims to have the all-time, best dating advice for men and it is – free – on his website.    It’s short, sweet and to the point…Advice ‘Everyman’ should know.

Every once in awhile you run across something that resonates on such a lofty level – you pause, catch your breath, and then wisely forward it to everyone you think would benefit from it.

  You just might feel that way when you review his website. Or not. Know a guy? Tell him about Bettermen.org

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Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own.”    Goethe

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com . Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page. You’ll be glad you did.

Want to be my 1000th friend? Follow me on Face book

A Passel of  Popular dating websites by category:

O, ye of a little Faith:

Jdate.com (for Jewish singles), christianmingle.com (for those dedicated to Christianity), spiritualsingles.com (for no particular denomination).

If you are 50 and Up

Ourtime.com, seniorpeoplemeet.com, perfectmatch.com.

Who said tacky and tawdry?

Benaughty.com, adultdatelink.com,

Icky- ashleymadison.com – Got in so much trouble and ruined lives , marriages, relationships forever. Buyer Beware.

Call it quirky:

Millionairematch.com, datemypet.com (“Date me. Date my pet”), theatlasphere.com (connecting Ayn Rand fans), yogapassions.com, soul2match.com (matches people who look alike? Right.).

Time to Rhyme? Poetry – the ultimate chick magnet?



April is actually the coolest, not the cruelest, month- it’s National Poetry Month

 

The hot topic around the Sunday buffet was how perfectly seductive it is to hear a man recite a poem.

Consensus was, “Oh, yeah!” Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from a motion we collected in tranquility.”  Voltaire called poetry, “Music of the soul”

Whatever You Call It

Whether you recite a poem, a haiku, a sonnet – whether it’s blank verse – or free verse, lyrical or satirical- women swoon over poetry. There’s something irresistible and alluring about having someone recite a poem to you.

Poems are meant to be slow and leisurely, read aloud and read more than once.

Now is the time – to pick up a book of poems, choose a poet – whether it’s Ogden Nash (Candy Is dandy; But liquor Is quicker) or W.H. Auden, or local poet laureate: Kay Ryan or T.S. Eliot Keats, or Billy Collins.

Find a slim volume of poems and revel in the language. Poetic License- 100 Poems 100 Performers- the audio book – is romantic, breath-taking, and astounding. Check your local Indy Bookstore for a copy.

Poetry 101

Billy Collins, a highly esteemed favorite among English majors everywhere explains teaching poetry to students in his poem entitled, “Poetry 101”

Here are the Top 10 Poems of the Day

1. Elizabeth Barrett Browning “How Do I Love thee? Let me count the ways”

2. Robert Burns, scalding red-hot love poem: “My Red, Red, Rose”

3. Emily Dickinson “I Cannot Live with You”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 “Shall I Compare You to a Summer’s Day?”

5. Margaret Atwood “Variation on the Word Sleep“

6. Billy Collins “Litany”

7. William Wordsworth “The Daffodils”

8. W.H Auden’s “Funeral Blues”

9. Francis William Bourdillon “The Night has a Thousand Eyes”

10.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “The Day is Done”

Read them, recite them, revel in poetry.

“Poetry is the shadow cast by out streetlight imaginations.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Like jumping on a treadmill at full speed?


Welcome to your new role as Suddenly Single; ready to enter Dating World 2017?

You will gradually discover The Rites and the Wrongs of The Mating Game. Take heed. Research indicates there are two smart ways to look at the initial stages of the Dating Game:

1. Try the Rose Colored Glasses Technique – one rife with optimism and a healthy dose of denial – both considered keen coping devices.

2. Or, another popular system, most oft used by the strong of heart is the Cold Shower of Reality Technique.

The Rose Colored Glasses Technique  involves a Head Down, Heart Up, Gung Ho attitude where caution is thrown to the wind and you are wide open to new experiences – free from skepticism and negativity. You view DATING 2017 be like boarding a streetcar – knowing full well another will always come along…

Cold Shower is less forgiving and a lot more direct. There are no streetcar metaphors – more jumping on speeding Treadmill symbols come into play.

What are you up for?

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Tell me your story: page.larkin@gmail.com 

Denial

He was like Bill O’Reilly

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Mary Ellen said she knew he was famous. He had a swarm of people around him – one to hold his coffee, another to take dictation, one minion was there to hold a cell phone. There was a woman, dressed in black, with an apron bulging with a dozen brushes, make up, spray bottles and a mirror.

She could tell his his gray hair was dyed the same as the Crayola Red Orange. He wore make up.  He had to been closing in on 70, however, laugh lines and wrinkles seemed to had been artfully erased. By a skillful surgeon?

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After the usual exchange of emails and two phone calls, she agreed to meet him for coffee – at the famous downtown hotel. However, he called – to a ask a huge favor – could she possibly come to him? He was in the middle of a really big story- didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their first meeting.

She had a board meeting and the MOMA event -and  hastily, agreed to meet him. She told her Lyft driver to keep the meter running – she would be back 15 minutes. She had a pre- conceived notion this “coffee date” would be quick. His online dating profile was very interesting and a bit too self-serving. The request to “come to him” was almost reason to cancel – but curiosity got the best of her.

She had no problem finding him or  hearing him.  She stood by a pillar and watched from afar. As she observed, she couldn’t decide whether he was a “groper” a “fanny pincher” or just way too friendly with all the females around him. The song, “We are the Champions” was blaring in the background.

It took under five minutes before she realized this guy was trouble – a real Neanderthal. The snapshot of the way he treated the female staff – spoke volumes. 

Mary Ellen climb back into her Lyft mobile and knew full well – she dodged a bullet.

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Champion

April Fools! Lotsa Gags and Pranks in San Francisco

St. Stupid’s Day Parade – Cancelled –

due to lack of mirth.

Gotcha- April Fools!
April Fools? April 1 is one of the funniest days of the year

No excuses are required for pulling out that whoopee cushion; squirting boutonnière, buzz ring and commencing with practical jokes. April Fools Day is the best day for pranks, jokes, gags and lots of laughs.

Worldwide, today everyone has permission to pull out all stops for spoofs and satires. Jokers Beware.

Costumes and Hats!

 


Exuberant and Erroneous E-mails

Expect the predictable prank e-mails today announcing the usual gamut: Mike Pence and His “Mother” retire to Rome;  Naked Yoga from 4 AM to 7 AM; the chocolate Easter Egg Hoax: claims there are zero calories in Godiva and See’s chocolate Easter Eggs- one day only, yesterday; Charlie Rose is dating Gayle; California Academy of Sciences-No Entrance Fee….. it could happen.


St. Stupid’s Day Parade 

The 39rd annual parade is filled with jolly jesters and comics who frolic, cavort, prance and dance. It is inspiring to see the risqué revelers juxtaposed in the weary, dreary Financial District. Don’t miss the famous ‘Stock Exchange’ – my purple argyle for your fishnet knee high? The parade starts at 12 noon at the Embarcadero. Be there.

It’s not just an American thing

Practical jokes and April Fools mania is a worldwide celebration. Pranksters worldwide step up to the plate.

Even the Economist – somewhat lugubrious and sober has a wild and crazy side and has analyzed pranks through the centuries.  Homer – no not Simpson, writes that Hermes had a sense of humor? Who knew?


Don’t fall for these Top 10 pranks, puns, and gags

1.         Gonzaga bows out of basketball brackets. Claims March Madness too much stress.

2.        Bill Riley – can’t catch a break – verbally attacks Maxine Waters, then  inserts foot time and again. Total debacle.

3.         Facebook admits to “pretend privacy” and sells data to Spokeo.com

4.         Washington plans on tracking and selling internet browser history – Hilarious! What? They are? No….

5.         Trump Hotels are Selling pink “You Putin Me On” T-shirts by the boatload.

6.         Golden Gate Bridge Board gleefully announces new bridge toll: $1.00

7.         Lil Devil Nunes Admits to Artificial Intelligence. Back to Tulare he goes.

8.            Amoeba Records on Haight Street  – Free Giveaway: Barry Manilow, Herman’s Hermits – all tapes, records and CD’s- today only.

9.         Free Martinis Day at Doro’s,Vanessi’s and Paoli’s. Must show ID, Ego and Super ego.

10.       Steve Bannon has used his kooky mean influence at the Right-Wing “ha-ha-news” site Breitbart as a propaganda tool. Attacking Kamala Harris. Really? Bad form Bannnon.

Cool Women Wearing Colorful Bathing Caps —

See: Who is St Stupid and where is that parade?

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde

Dating 101:All the good ones are taken

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All the good ones are taken

Steve went to brunch at a friend’s home on Sunday. He knew he was being ”fixed up,” yet, again. All of his married friends wanted him to be ”as happy as they were.”

For years, he had observed the happy couples -the snipes, the snips, the eye-rolling and wondered just how happy they actually were.

Then again, who was he to wonder. He had been on six different dating sites the last eight years, and was still “Just looking.”

Truth be told, hundreds of dates later, he concluded, it was a jungle out there. More often than not, he fell in love. And it was rarely reciprocated. Women that this age and stage (50/60) were tough. Either they had a “My Man Must Have List,” or they were “Just The Sex, Please,” one-night-stand-women.

He tried Tinder and met a beautiful redhead, his age, height, and education who just wanted someone “To hold her once a week,” that’s all. Next!

This time, his ”fix up” was Veronique. She was short, perky, with a head of curly gray hair and a perpetually surprised expression. Having been around the block a few times, he knew Veronique was 60, if a day, and she had some work done. No one look surprised all the time.

Nevertheless, she was lively and interesting. She been to Thailand (Red flag-he had seen 60 Minutes about Thailand being the plastic surgery capital.)

When she spoke passionately about “the twins,” he assumed she was talking about her kids. No. She had two Siamese cats, that were highly intelligent and she knew they spoke to her in Cat Language.

That was it.

Steve did his perfect guest, clear the table, help the hostess with dessert routine, and “Oh, my! Look at the time.” He had to go and pick up a friend at the airport. Floods of apologies.

He had this exit down to a science. Hasta la vista, baby.

Steve swore he would never get fixed up again.

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What are men thinking? The brain of the manly man

Are men happier?

It all started when cavemen went on the Annual Mastodon Hunting Trip leaving cave women and cave children behind.


The women put the cave kids to bed early, pulled out the equivalent of Kick-a-poo joy juice, sat around the fire- invented by a woman- grunted and laughed and shared about their husbands who “acted like Neanderthals.”

Fast forward a few eons to a meeting  of  ‘The Salon’  a dozen women, all hovering around  5o, pondering about men: What makes men so happy?

Seriously, is there anything new under the sun about elusive happiness and the basics of the sexes?

Eve did it…Adam did it

From the inception of time, people have mused and metaphor-ed about little boys- frogs, snails and puppy dog tails versus little girls- sugary, spicy and everything nicely organized.

Brainy author, Louann Brizendine tackled the subject in her first book about pretty in pink The Female Brain. It didn’t take a Mensa membership to forecast Brizendine’s next book would be about men and celebrating their cerebellum. Bets were on: would the second book be shorter and less complicated?

About the same time The Male Brain came out, a simple, succinct e-mail about Men and Happiness was circulating world wide.

The illuminating and hysterical piece caught the attention of the members of ‘The Salon’.  They agreed “Why men are happier than women” is brutally honest, very clever and takes two- minutes to read – time for throwing head back and laughing heartily included.

Wn To Know The Secret?

With Men:  It’s all about Number One: Men have one hair style- forever; they have one mood; and one pair of shoes and one wallet goes with every single outfit. Men are happy campers.


Truth be Told

Anyway and Everyday: women simply want to know what men thinking about (answer: Sex). We want to know what men dream about (answer: Sex). We ponder: when it comes to flight or fright what is the limbic system of the cortex of the brain of a man thinking about? (answer: SEX)

Conclusion: Men are happy and women are luckier for it.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

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Happy Birthday, G-L-O-R-I-A

Happy Birthday Gloria Steinem,

Suddenly Single... Minded

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 Happy Birthday, Gloria Steinem

 and, thank  you!

Gloria Steinem has a birthday celebration on Tuesday.

Called the “Face of Feminism,” she took the flack, the attack, and inspired generations
of girls and women to speak out and stand up and be liberated and be counted.

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Thank you, Gail Collins, New York Times columnist, who wrote “This is what 80 looks like”

Steinem’s website:

“You’ve discovered the new, official website for Gloria Steinem. Like Gloria, we’re hope-aholics. Our hope is that this site will be useful for students, reporters, and anyone else who wants to know more about Gloria’s achievements, writing, or current work.

Gloria is a writer and activist who has been involved in feminist and other social justice movements for over forty years. On this site, you will find a selection of her published articles, links to the organizations she is a part of or recommends…

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