Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the category “50 and Single”

Are you a Raya Reject? Join the club

Making the Raya Cut- The hip connector for creative types

Emily – 40+, (former ski bunny, model, sail boat captainess, chef extraordinare) is a very attractive woman.

She has been around the block with online dating sites  and was on a “social sabbatical.” Then, she heard about Raya. The exclusive, haughty for hotties-only site. Sadly, thousands of people have been RAYA-jected from the $8.00 a month dating site.

The You Must Have List for memebership is long: You must be hip and hot and have 1000 Instagram followers; a Raya-enrolled friend must “refer” you and no dullards or dotards need apply- you must have an interesting occupation (doctor, tailor, candlestick maker?)

Are you a Barbie or a Barney?

Ask-Jean_Which-Is-Worse-UV-Rays-or-Self-Tanner-Ingredients_TRU1283105-2Araya designs BaBy Toys

pexels-photo-219619.jpeg Cellestte is a photo-GRAPHER

Our Friend Emily went to work and  “liked” several hundred more Instagram folks in a matter of hours, and her numbers of followers crept up and well over 2000. Bam!       She reached out and touched a lot of people…she was looking for a Raya Royal (aka  Raya member.) Within two hours she had tracked down friends of friends: two sisters – both members – both happy to promote her. Double Bam! They gave her ‘scoops and warnings.” The New York Times said Raya rejects 92% of the applicants…fortunately, our Emily is very connected and stunning and driven.

It took time. She threw her head back and laughed when the sisters told her a committeee of 500 would vote her on or off the island. Just like high school: when the Junior and Senior girls (aka Mean Girls) would deem who would be popular.

Finally, Selected!  

Haute to Trot…she downloaded the app and away she went to …the farthest thing from a ray a sunshine. Her new friends said – tongue in cheek – Raya is for famous people like Amy Schumer.  Didn’t she meet that infamous, moody guy, who went from  waiter to chef around Martha’s Vineyard?  Who knows?

Emily spent hours cruising…looking…seeking- she kept seeing the word ‘classy.’ Her mother told her, a long time ago, people who use the word – aren’t. 

She says she started playing the violin at five, was in the famed Girl’s Choir, studied both opera and ballet one summer -nevermind where….or for how long – it all looked good on paper.

Within days, Emily was seeing a lot of Paris Hilton types…she guessed she was accepted as a novelty…her daddy was also very successful…she said she attended Stanford ( indeed: a summer school class on film) and Punaho Prep in Honolulu – like Obama – (a summer school romp.)

Meat Market or Meet Market? The jury is out and ‘Emily with the razzle dazzle lifestyle’  (certainly not her real name) is treading lightly.

Not one to put all her eggs in one basket…Emily is still on the prowl….

 

Advertisements

Dorothy the Dating Diva meets a Hay you! man, a Tin Man, a Lyin’ guy

Dorothy, everybody’s favorite serial dater, was a peripatetic-romantic. She amazed her friends with the number of dates she went on, each week.

Testing the Waters?
In th beginning…She was a real-live dating diva on Craigslist; meeting new men every week, buoyed her confidence and prompted Dorothy to join Plenty of Fish.

She instantly learned the ‘catch and release’ practice at Plenty of Fish, and she trawled every day. She was exhilarated with coffee dates, walking dates and her favorite, ‘choose a museum and entertain me’ gauntlet.

Eventually, tired of the one site, she decided to become an active member on both Eharmony and Spiritual Singles.

Like magic, Dorothy’s calendar filled with dates. Her friends teased her that they needed a scorecard to keep track of all the men in her life.

She claimed to know, within the first five minutes, if the guy was “A Keeper” or a “Next!”

Her friends counted, she had 84 dates in four months. Dorothy was definitely on a quest to meet Mr. Right. Friends wondered if she was looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

 

Deja Vu All over Again

Eventually, Dating Dorothy realized she was dating the same three men, over and over again. Her friends loudly agreed and told her the guys resembled characters on the Wizard of Oz.            No flying monkeys or munchkins allowed.

The first type of man she kept re-meeting, re-visiting, and re-encountering and was a typical cowardly lion: all bravado, no bite.

Take Mike, please.

Mike is a retired jock; at one time in his life he was a 10, swaggered around campus in his letterman’s jacket, had that IBM internship, married his high school sweetheart and, bam! He woke up 20 years later; he was divorced, disenchanted, not even close to being a 10- what with those extra pounds, gleaming chrome dome, and had new bachelor pad by IKEA in Sausalito.

However, Mike still thought he was pretty cool- save for one thing: he was afraid of women. Dorothy classified him as “all talk no action.” Mike could talk a mean story, flirt up a storm, and then he ran out of steam and went home. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He had a great roar and no follow-up. Oddly, Dorothy was, initially  attracted to this.

Hay – Look Me Over- The Straw Man

Her next magnetic attraction was a typical Straw-Man. He looks great from the outside: dashing, debonair, well coiffed, drives the right, leased, black BMW sedan and can talk for hours about himself and his myriad accomplishments. However, there’s no-there-there. A classic Straw Man has very little substance. Dorothy liked some aspects. Not all. Next!

Is He a Tin Man or Iron Man?

Dorothy’s friends laugh when she tells them she’s met a new man at the gym. Again.  Déjà vu all over again. “The Type” is usually a “half iron” man…

Often he is somewhat tall, dark, and mildly handsome and totally in love with himself. Yeah, he has a big heart and his heart belongs to- himself.

Any Psych 101 student would say he must’ve been battered and bruised in a relationship and has created an impenetrable shield around his heart. So much for a two-way relationship.

Our friend Dorothy threw in the towel after this waterfall of fun she was having dried up. She got bored – said it wa a deja vu and she was going to quit the dating scene. The Withdrawals  were hard. In a week – or two – she filled her calendar withe trips, exploring, movies, museums, Giants Games, dance lessons. She loved  joining a Singles walking club.

And so it begins…back at the dating trough.

Fear and Loathing of Dating in San Francisco?

Since when did the men and women in San Francisco become so afraid of one another?

Does online dating perpetuate a fear of rejection or a fear of commitment?

Perhaps the breakneck speed of cyber dating has given singles ‘Virtual Whiplash’ and an abject fear of rejection. If you are enrolled in a dating service like Tinder, Match.comor EHarmony, you receive emails with pictures of your so-called ‘perfect matches’ on a daily basis. This overload of information may cause side effects of head spinning, heart palpitations and ego swelling.

Photo-Shopping for Prince Charming?

And so it goes: you are on virtual shopping spree with a Photo-shopping bent. Beginners go from diligently reading profiles and daydreaming to simply scanning pictures. Next. It might look something like this: Patrick: 49, tennis pro, poet, chef, looks good, but George, Pulitzer Prize winner, spelunker, yo-yo champ-looks better. Like a kid on an Easter egg hunt, you pick up one brightly colored object and dismiss it just as quickly, thinking something better will come along. This can’t be good

Doctor Love

Dr Joan M, a leading San Francisco psychologist, studies relationships. She recently said many of her clients have more first-dates than they knew what to do with. One peripatetic client met with 90 women in his first year of being newly divorced. He had the classic Clint Eastwood experience and met “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.”  However, once he got past his myopic, “Looking for Barbie,” phase, he got serious, focused and eventually met his true soul mate. It happens.

The good Dr maintains that suddenly single men and women hovering around age 50 want relationships. However, with age, a new requirement has transpired: both sexes have a need for intimacy and concurrent independence. They have quaffed the Kool-Aid and succumbed to, as one woman put it, “A need to be in his arms and then be an arm’s length away.”  The Solution? A healthy dose of compromise and honesty are necessary for any healthy relationship.

Kissing Frogs and Playing Hard to Get

It is your call: do you kiss a few frogs, explore dating at 50 with an open heart and open mind or steadfastly hold out for the perfect Prince Charming / Princess Charisma?

Try this: Open your eyes – and your heart – for a fun and fulfilling relationship with the guy or girl next door. Be available and aware. Finally, look in the mirror: you have to be the person you want to attract.  Ribbit.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com .

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

Dating 101: Sex degrees of separation?

Playing Dating Monopoly?

Are you about to jump into the Internet Dating world? Feeling dizzy with the wide variety and vast number of choices of Online Dating services? Are they unique, stand alone entities, or possibly owned by the same Goliath Internet giant?

Dating neophyte, Sally said she envisioned Match.com to be a huge building, filled with employees who were romantics at heart, just like Cupid.

She imagined a sea of matchmakers, glued to the their computers, fatefully creating dates for life. She knew somewhere she had a perfect match, a twin: a non smoking, dog loving, petite, Gemini, middle child, NASCAR fan, rock climbing, New York Times puzzle lover.   

Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus.

However, Sally, there is no such thing as a real computer based Cupid.

Who’s your daddy?

If you were to do a search for top Internet dating companies you might be amazed to learn that dating sites: Match, Chemistry, Singleparentmeet, Blackpeoplemeet, Seniorpeoplemeet, Bbpeoplemeet, Loveandseek, all have the same parent company. They are all integral parts the Internet giant IAC owned by that ‘king of the media world’, IAC CEO Barry Diller.

What the heck is an IAC, you ask? George Orwell’s 1984 pales by comparison.Internet Giant, IAC is in your business and in multiple facets of your life. IAC owns Ask.com, Dictionary, Citysearch, EVite.com, Urbanspoon, Vimeo, Hotwire, Lending Tree, and Excite, Expedia, and Ticketmaster, plus a host of other sites.

No need to go dystopian about this, but, do take note. A lot of notes.

Baddoo and Bad News:The Russians are Meddling: Who owns Tinder? Bumble?

Badoo, founded in 2006 …launched in 2009 (3 years before Tinder), is headquartered in London with an office in Moscow.

Today it employs 300 developers, 80 of whom are women, who run Badoo and also provide support to Huggle, Chappy and Bumble.

The Russian Cupid, Andreev says his  biggest business, flagship Badoo,  launched a facial recognition feature in late 2017.

The feature allows users to upload an image of a person they like and find other Badoo users who look similar. “People really love it,” Andreev said.

Andreev refuses to share revenue figures for Badoo, but said the publicly traded IAC  operates online dating sites including OkCupid and Tinder, was a good comparison.

IAC which has a $12.2 billion market cap, reported $1.3 billion in revenue for 2017.

The Russian states, “We are smaller, but we are still a pretty big player.”

Is San Francisco friendly? City Slickers or slackers?

golden-gate-bridge-438390__180

Hey, San Francisco! I say: Play Hard and Work Soft

In my small rural hometown, I noticed most people say ‘Hello,’ and ‘Good morning,’ and ‘Hi’, as they get to work and play in the morning.

Eye contact is involved. People wave and nod to one another. Men and women- alike – hold the door for one another. You hear, “thanks” a lot.    I think there’s more hand-holding in that small town, per capita, than there is in all of San Francisco.

This more convivial behavior is not Amish, Quaker or Mormon. It’s just another mindset. Maybe it’s a throwback to the 50’s. Granted, it  is very Mid-West.

I’m told in San Francisco there’s more emphasis placed on Career Success, than (sit down, drink optional)   Relationship Success.* What’s up with that?

 Why is merely “being friendly” so foreign in San Francisco?

After a week of this time-travel-world, I recently returned to the City.  As my luggage came off the carousel, I was forced back onto the merry-go-round of San Francisco, where we go so fast, we miss meeting one another. Have we forgotten how to say, “Excuse me?”

We’ve all got a blog, we’re Linkedn and were on Facebook, Matchme.com or Eharmony. We belong to social clubs ~ of some sort… and still it is like two ships passing in the aisle at Trader Joe’s?

Did you ever think that just as you’re going out the side door of the store- with exactly the same carefully selected food items in your recyclable bag- that I’m about to buy the same items? And, I too, will walk out, alone, with my recyclable bag?

Revolving doors?

Did we both just work out, see the same film, and go out to dinner with single friends? What are the chances we ski, hike, ride, walk, stroll, or spelunk in the exact same location at different times?

Whether it’s a merry-go-round or teeter-totter – it is a bizarre time to be at the Singles Playground.    

I’ll go out on a limb – unless the ground rules change to involve more social interaction-  like simple  “Hey,” Hello,” Hi,”  and “Good morning,”  

we will all be living single solitary parallel lives – so close – and, yet so far away.

     I say play hard – work soft.

*Article  by Dr Tom Lewis – UCSF

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Mother Teresa

 

Hipsters, Nudies, Puppy Love questions

Hey, Page Larkin,
My first boyfriend watched Portlandia and turned into a wannabe hipster. He got a new knit cap and grew a scruffy beard. He got into beekeeping, knitting, farming on the rooftop of his apartment building and drove all the way to Berkeley to buy a typewriter. He used to be a jock and a fun guy. I ditched him.

My current boyfriend went a workshop on body awareness in Marin and now walks around in the nude. We have windows – lots and lots of windows. What should I do? He is brainwashed and naked alot.
Portero Window Washer

Dear Window /Widow
You can buy Tarzan a robe, PJ bottoms, boxers or a loincloth. Good luck.
Page

Dear Page,
The man I love doesn’t have the greatest table manners. He is soup slurper….rivulsets of soup run down his chin. I once intimated he might want to do ‘elbows off the table’ and he said his mother and first two wives had failed in instructing him and to give up. What shall I do with the guy who slurps everything?
Emily Post

Dear Emily Post.
Choose your battles. There’s plenty of evidence that people with limited social skills and manners excel at life. Set an example. Weigh out the importance – how much do you love him and how much does he bug you? He does have a sloppy track record.
Page

Dear Page,
I fell head over heels with Peggy before I realized her dog, Fluffy, was her #1 love. The dog gets more attention than a candy dish on Halloween.The dog sleeps with her. He rides in her lap in the car! She will not listen to any of my comments regarding the canine. I am ready to call it quits.
Not Feline It

Dear Not Feline it,
Interestingly, you spent more time complaining about the dog than praising your girlfriend. Obviously, the K9 is a big point of contention. Have a serious conversation with her. Tell her how you feel. Decide whether the dog is a dealbreaker. There you go.
Page

pexels-photo-59523.jpeg

Send your Love and Relationship Questions to page.larkin@gmail.com

Rivulet
Y

San Francisco:Top 20 list- what the world needs now~

What San Francisco Needs Now – The Top 20 List Today

1. More hugs

2. More Clement Street shopkeepers cleaning the dirty, icky, sticky, sidewalks, please

3. More $1.00 cupcakes

4. More Free Days at Cal Academy of Sciences and 50% discount for locals

5. More free concerts in Golden Gate  Park (Warren Hellman is a hero)

6. More Bridge Tolls locked in at $5.00 come on!

7. More  FAIR parking meters that take dimes- which would buy 10 mins /not one ( uno, 1, i, un) minute

8. Continued diverse and wonderful De Young Museum Exhibits

9. More people walking – all over

10. More kids outside on swings, slides, and carousels

11. More museums with – random -Free Days

12. More ‘Sneak Peek’  Movie Previews

13. More Ms. Manners; less Entitled

14. More  people shopping/supporting  Indy bookstores like the  West Portal Book Store and Book Passages

15. More parking  garages that welcome visitors – don’t “rob” them at $10- $25 per hour

16. More Laugh lines~~ less botox

17.More:  “Please, thanks, and you’re welcomes”

18. More  Tolerance and Patience – like the good old days

19. More ‘hi, hello, hey, how ya doing,’ exchanges

20. More clothing donations to Casa de las Madres via drop at Community Thrift Store on Valencia

Viva Viagra Day – March 27th?


blieeee

Pill poppin’ American Men celebrate

the Little Blue Pill Day

National Viagra Day is March 27

The little blue pill with life enhancing properties, or promises, has a special day

The Top 10 Prescription Drugs

In the United States, the Top Ten Prescription Drugs include Claritin, Lipitor, Prilosec, Amoxicillin and Prozac;  35 million people in 100 countries are on Prozac.

You are probably wondering: Are there National holidays for any of America’s Top Ten drugs?

Don’t bother checking your calendar. There are no jolly celebrations or festivals for mundane prescription drugs, except, of course Viagra. Yes, it’s true. March 27th is ‘Viagra Day’ all across America.

And, seriously, what exactly does that mean? You decide.

Then, riddle me this: Who would possibly be behind a vigorous promotion of sildenafil citrate? That little old drug maker: Pfizer

Interesting, Pfizer also makes a bunch of the Top Ten Drugs – however, there is not a single National holiday, or festive marketing campaign for Pfizer’s Lipitor or Celebrex. What’s up with that?

Important or Impotent? –You Decide

Now, you may think it’s ludicrous to celebrate a prescription drug with it’s own special day. Others may disagree. However, in America we seem to have a special day for everything. In the month of March, there are holidays to exult pecans, waffles, smoke and mirrors, and our favorite: National Multiple Personality Day.

March also fetes National Doctors Day

No Matter What age…

and Peanut Butter Lover’s day.  Peanut Envy?

To pill or not to pill?

See Jack Nicholsen in “Somethings Got to Give”

and Al Pacino in “Stand Up Guys.” Hello!

photo_1793_20060714

 

Mae West said it best: “Between two evils, I always pick the one I’ve never tied before”

photo_21523_20120317

Russians meddling in dating site?

 

The money behind the very popular Bumble Dating Site comes from Russia? Really?

#1. Badoo is owned by Russian multi-millionaire Andrey Andreev.

#2. Bumble, the very popular Online Dating Site is 79% owned by Badoo and therefore  controlled by the very  successful, powerful and secretive Russian Andrey Andreev.

pexels-photo-220836.jpeg

Andreev has been trying for several years to enter the U.S. market’s complex and oversaturated online dating industry with the help of his social network Badoo, which has proven to be popular in Latin America and Europe…money

What price love? If Facebook just got hacked – a sneaky, stealthy Data Breach  by the Evil Russians…whats bumbling around this dating site?

Evil men have no songs.’ How is it that the Russians have songs?

Friedrich Nietzsche

money-163502__340

 

Mr Right? Not right now

bad photos12

Harry decided to push the envleope and rock the online dating world.

After six years of posting that old photo – he decided, “What the hell?”

He concluded he would  get a lot more attention by posting interesting (aka bizarre) photos.

Week Number Two:

31_riittaikonenhjorthvelkkari

He garnered zero attention. Go figure.

Week Number Three:

12976723_938278239620573_3130681427071263250_o

Our pal, Harry, decided to bring out the big guns and Go Big!

His pals said he was crazy. Women rarely responded.

He kept up the charade for a month of rejection before he resorted to contacting me for sometough love and serious dating tips.

Here we go!

via Photo Challenge: Out of This World

Post Navigation