Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the category “50 and Single”

Sweet Revenge turns sour?

Merriane was very angry that Matt gave her the, “You are too good for me” line.

They had been dating – hot and heavy- for three months and she was sure he was “The One.” They got along famously in every room of the house. He could cook, clean, shop, do laundry and did his best work in the bedroom. She had no complaints. And no clue.

She laughed when she told her girlfriends she would revel in  a weekend of Chick Flicks and enjoy a lavish Menage a Trois – with Ben and Jerry. They knew she wasn’t kidding, The company had just introduced four new flavors: Truffle Kerfuffle, Urban Bourbon, Candy Bar Pie and Half Baked. She claimed it was Chocolate Therapy.

Merriane  thought she paper the neighborhood with Matt UNwanted posters. Or she might do a ‘Blog a Bitch’  about her ex-boyfriend. She decided upon a thinly veiled account: Dirty little secrets – his worst fears,  awful things he said about his friends and family.  Next,  she would take anything he left behind and begin auctioning it off on eBay or put it on the street with a “free “sign on it.

On a sugar high, she started her movie marathon with Thelma and Louise, Beaches, Mystic Pizza, and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

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“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor was her Mantra and her top song of the day – followed closely by “Cry Me a River, “These Boots Are Made for Walking”  and,  You’re So Vain.

All it took was a couple of pints, a movie marathon, huge success on eBay, Break up songs blaring through the house, a good night’s sleep and the pity party was over.

Merriane knew she was alone,  

but more importantly, she was now available.

Like Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air – she was back in the game.

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Paper

Where are all the guys?

Inspired by the Invitation: Tini, Melanie, Helen, Mary and Dixie put on thier party dresses and heels and headed to the Singles Party in Marin County at the hotel.

 The Senior Singles Party promotion promised a rousing  50/50 Male and Female Mix

As the women entered the hotel, they saw dozens of women – all dressed up and ready to party – a large registration area and bouquets of red, heart-shaped  balloons. There was not a man to be seen. Checking watches, they concluded they were not too early and wondered about the male component.

Minutes later, four men strangled in – a sea of Tommy Bahama shirts and kakhi pants. The appeared to know the organizers and put on their name tags and smiles. Then they mingled. Shills or Singles?

30 Single Women showed up that Sunday afternoon and only a Dozen Men.             The ladies were entertained by the more aggressive femme fatales who went after the men like there was no tomorrow. There were no cat fights…however, there was some jockeying for position and Trump-like pushes to the front of the line.

Not amused, not happy: The five ladies insisted upon refunds on the spot and wandered over to the San Rafael Civic Center Farmer’s Market where, every Sunday is party.

Page Larkin Consults: We met for a two-hour session on “Men and Dating at 50, 60, and 70?”

In additon to candor, there was much laughter and a swell of renewed interest in Meeting a Few Good Men.

They are on the look out…stay tuned for results.

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All names have been changed to protect the Suddenly Single.

 

Revelation

Like jumping on a treadmill at full speed?


Welcome to your new role as Suddenly Single; ready to enter Dating World 2017?

You will gradually discover The Rites and the Wrongs of The Mating Game. Take heed. Research indicates there are two smart ways to look at the initial stages of the Dating Game:

1. Try the Rose Colored Glasses Technique – one rife with optimism and a healthy dose of denial – both considered keen coping devices.

2. Or, another popular system, most oft used by the strong of heart is the Cold Shower of Reality Technique.

The Rose Colored Glasses Technique  involves a Head Down, Heart Up, Gung Ho attitude where caution is thrown to the wind and you are wide open to new experiences – free from skepticism and negativity. You view DATING 2017 be like boarding a streetcar – knowing full well another will always come along…

Cold Shower is less forgiving and a lot more direct. There are no streetcar metaphors – more jumping on speeding Treadmill symbols come into play.

What are you up for?

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Tell me your story: page.larkin@gmail.com 

Denial

Where are all the single men in SF?



Donde esta los muchachos?

Dear Page Larkin

I went to the movie Friday afternoon and the room was filled with women. No, it wasn’t a chick flick. It was Moonlight Then, I went to a Pinot Noir wine tasting at Whole Foods. We were 75% single women and 25% couples.

Rick’s Wine Bar looks like a sorority party. I just can’t bring myself to attend NASCAR or those cigar bars.

Where are all the boys?  Then, I went to a trendy, cool, church…nope, all gray-haired ladies – pretty much.

On Sunday, like all good American girls, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond  – it was like a wedding shower- the aisles were filled with women, girls, ladies, shopping for linens and things.


Is it me, or is it San Francisco? This is like living in the world of the Amazons.

By mistake, I went to Union Street.  Once upon a time, a long time ago …Really popular Singles Bars used to be the rage. That night,  It was Frat Boy Night packed with 20 to 30-year-old, drunk, Frat boys high-fiving one another and measuring virility/maturity by the number of sake bombs they were throwing back. Next!

Where are the big boys?

Finally, I LYFTED over to Valencia Street- and was inundated with couples going to all the trendy- fabulous-darling restaurants. The Good Vibrations emporium was teeming with women, go figure.

Where did all the single guys go?

From Fresno to Frisco and Frustrated

 

Dear From Fresno to Frisco…

Brava! You have certainly done due diligence and you make keen observations.Remember: A guy has got to eat – linger in the aisles at Safeway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Rainbow  Grocery-you get the idea. Smile. Say “hey.” Frequently.

Many happy women say they met many happy men at the Golden State Warrior and SF Giants games – the perfect recipe for meeting people of the opposite sex: winning teams, sky high excitement, mutual passion for Pence, Posey, Pagan….Curry, Klay….

You’re right, guys are not in bookstores, yoga classes, or cake decorating classes – they should be – that’s where women go.

 

Tip of the day: See Top 10 Places Meet Men 

 

Breakfast

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Steven Wright

 

 

 

Matchmaker, matchmaker! Tell me the truth

5rhl-ksrydq-dino-reichmuth-2Once upon a time, in that quaint, little village nestled in the mountains –

you had to consult with a matchmaker to score a date and a mate.

Mae West once said, “A hard man is good to find.”

Aeons ago, any man was good to find. Today, we have a plethora of possibilities:  the Top Ten Online Dating companies  (Note: most are owned by the same company)

However, there are a passel of so-called Matchmakers lurking in the shadows- seeking out Mr Lonely and Just Widowed –

aka ripe for the picking.

bad photos12A quick look at Yelp reviews for so-called Matchmakers/Sonoma/Sacramento/San Francisco divulges sad stories.

“I naively went through theTEN coaching sessions paying close to $2000, and then she did NOTHING. once I was allowed  to “enter her inner dating circle”.  She basically took the money and ran!  I reached out twice very politely asking what was going on, and both times I got a run around about her life issues and how they were hindering her professional life. Whoa- then give me my $2000 back! … an unbelievable and expensive rip off/ let down.”

“Ms Romance wanted me to go through a 10-session dating coaching/therapy program before she would determine whether she would accept me into her roster of matchable. Ha!”

“This business is a total rip off, they are fake.  Stay away!  My first , in person interview lasted almost three hours at their Santa Rosa office.  I am an attractive , intelligent, senior woman; I was told they had plenty of compatible men to introduce me to. The sales woman asked me many personal questions about my life style.”

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And so, boys and girls – before Handing over the $3,ooo – $6,000 (for men)

Tell all your friends and relatives you are ready to date. Start looking up and around. Start smiling at other people. Look at Meetup.com , Read Johnny FunCheap, join the Sierra Club; sign up for salsa or swing dance lessons; go to San Francisco Giants Games…got off the couch, and out of the house, Today.

Always Research any and all dating companies. Avoid the charlatans parading as experts.75

You are welcome.

A Good Match

The Herd Mentality…

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The Yoga Babes had been friends for a decade.

On weekends, the single ladies often went, en masse, to events, movies, performances around the City. They were of an age where Eileen Fisher was more their go to designer…Rachel Zoe, Badgley Mischka and Trina Turk were no longer in their hot fashion repertoire.

It took awhile…

One Saturday evening, the  ladies were lined up to see Paula West see at the Hotel Nikko, Tamsin looked at the gang of girls and said, “Oh, my god! Don’t look now. We are all wearing the same thing!”  The ladies laughed and looked.

Everyone was wearing an ensemble comprised solely of black and white.  One in a black Tuxedo jacket, white cashmere Turtleneck and  black slacks. Tamsin was clad in all-white with a dramatic black shawl. There were lots of black pants; cigarette, flowing, parachute, jeweled Capris, trousers.

It takes a village…a herd…

The women looked, laughed and said, “Devil may care – we don’t!”  As a rule, the women migrate to the same color palette. C’est la vie.

WOMEN IN LITTLE BLACK DRESSES

Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.        

Oscar de la Renta

Heard

Quitting a dating site? Clean up your act

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Darn! You thought you deleted your online dating photos.

And, bam! Three months later, Yahoo has your photo scrolling on their home page in a Match.com promotion: “Looking for Single Men in San Francisco?”

You thought you went through the necessary channels to quit once and for all. Match sent you the canned “Really? Are you sure you want to leave the party? Trixie, Tiffani, and Binkie will miss you.”

You push, “Cancel Account” and you think the party is over.

Not so fast, Dude.

For six more weeks, Match, Seniors, Our Time can run your photograph – making their inventory of Single men and women look full and diverse. And, who knew, you might see your old photo floating on the Yahoo home page. (Yahoo – desperate times – desperate measures?)

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Page Larkin’s Top Three Tips to Quit an Online Dating Site – aka Leave no Trace

#1. Delete all your photos. One by one. You don’t want your photo floating in their ads or hanging around for God and everyone to see…

#2. Copy and Paste everything you have written to a Word Doc. You might, someday, want to sign up for another site and use the pithy prose you produced, again.

#3. Finally, delete every single word you wrote on your profile. If a site, like Match, insists that you have 500 characters in any mini-essay, copy and paste in The Pledge of Allegiance or Dave Barry’s definition of “What Women Want” or the opening to Kafka’s, The Trial.

As a precautionary measure, change your age, gender, and height- the more ludicrous the better.

C’est fini! Leave no trace and your slate will be clean.

Cue: Fireworks

Cue: Fireworks

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare

Join Sexy SF Scavenger Hunt for Flirting Females?

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Their Motto: Flirt First, Talk Later

Twelve women gathered at the St. Francis Hotel lobby bar 

The Clock Bar– at 4 PM for  a refresher course in flirting and fun.

The women were graduates of Larkin’s “Flirt First, Talk Later” course in June. The group had been entertained and instructed in the Power of Flirting. Each was well practiced in the basic flirting rules of engagement: smiling, eye contact, being approachable and initiating conversation. The woman knew the subtle effects of playing with her hair and jewelry; and all well aware of the impact of delicate and more pronounced forms of Flirtation 101.

Caps and Evening Gowns?

The downtown event was the much-anticipated Graduation Exercise. The coterie enjoyed one French 75, 30-minutes of show and tell, a Flirting 101 Review, and much laughter. The women were ready to cover Union Square. The self-proclaimed, ‘Darling Dozen’ were divided into groups of three and were given a list of  activities. The list resembled a scavenger hunt.

First, each team had to visit one Union Square vicinity pub and ask the bartender for “the best drink of the day” recipe and to be photographed with the bartender. Next, each woman was to introduce herself to one single male; procure his business card; and practice three flirting techniques.

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They were on a quest to locate the following items:

  • A sample of men’s cologne
  • One swizzle stick
  • One hotel brochure
  • Eight business cards from eight different men
  • One flower from a Union Square flower cart
  • One map of downtown San Francisco
  • A photo of each woman with six single, age appropriate, men
  • One single, spontaneous, man who lived within 40 miles of San Francisco

They were given two hours to complete their list and each used one iPhone Camera

Round Two – Rasputin?

Team One was told to start at Rasputin Records  and stand in the Jazz Music section. Each woman was to engage two men in conversation (i.e. Have you seen Keith Jarrett in person? Where is Dave Brubeck? Which CD is your favorite? Are you a big jazz fan? Are you single?) The other groups were given similar directives and were directed to the men’s department or the food court at Macy’s,  Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom.


LALAS Flirting Cards

Each woman was a given a dozen Flirting Cards.   The special LALAS Flirting Card indicated she was part of the LALAS Flirting Coterie– on a Scavenger Hunt requiring her to speak to an attractive single male. During each conversation, the woman had to decide if she wanted to share her phone number or dating-only-Gmail- address (special Gmail account used solely for online dating and LALAS correspondence.)

After 90 minutes, the goal was to locate and interview one gentleman and to invite him to the Union Square hot spot: The Redwood Room at the Clift Hotel. to the informal gathering and celebration. Twelve women found 11 men who were spontaneous, available and willing to meet the Flirting Coterie.

Suddenly Single

Two hours later

The Darling Dozen returned to the bar at the lively Clift Hotel– anointed as one of the Most Romantic Places in San Francisco, with men who were good sports and spontaneous and willing to meet 12 single women. The Flirting Coterie, with 11 new friends, enjoyed two hours of laughter and libation. All in attendance were converts to the active flirting movement.

How about you? Want to sign up?

 San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button 

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What not to wear, please

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Dress Your Own Age

Crystal, 20-something, complains that her mother (49 and holding) dips into her closet and borrows her clothes- including her Uggs, Heels, hoodies, and Jeggings. In an effort to stave off Father Time and Mother Nature, Mommie Dearest tries to dress down a decade. Or two.

Not a Good Look-At your Age

Miniskirts, T-shirts and belly-button displays –those days are over, Binkie. Skin-tight tops, hip-hugging-for-life jeans, which don’t fit – sorry, Sally. That ship has sailed.

The cold hard truth: a plus-sized body – or a mother pushing 50: Back away from your daughter’s closet.

If Nobody Will Tell You

Never ask a sales clerk, “Do these $200 jeans and this $300 top make me look young?” No salesclerk, on commission, is going to say, “Ma’am this is the Junior’s department, you should really be in the Mature or the Big Mama’s department, I’m just saying.”images-15

Take a look at the much celebrated TV Show, “What Not to Wear” Then hit the library and peruse a copy of How Not to Look Old.

Say Au Revoir! Good bye! Adios! and Ciao to these egregious “Oldies – Not Goodies”

Souvenir T-shirts
T-shirts with anything written on them
Overalls
Ripped jeans or acid-washed jeans
Shoulder pads
Flannel shirts
Muumuus
Elastic-waist pants
Granny panties
Finally, let it be known: there is a moratorium on all Holiday sweaters (especially hideous Holiday sweaters with perky pumpkins, Santa, reindeer, teddy bears.)

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“Fashions fade, style is eternal.

Yves Saint Laurent

Page.Larkin@gmail.com

Bespoke

You know: The Super Moon inspires romance? Absolutely

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 Are you Moon-lighting Tonight: what is more romantic than a full moon?

Word on the street is that the sexy, full, Super Moon inspires bold romance,

 Carpe noctem, darling.

It has been said- many times- in many pubs, bars, cafes, bus stops,  “If  you kiss a sweet heart under a Super moon it will bring you five hours of good luck.”

 Dance by the light of the moon? You betcha

Karyn D of  San Francisco (55, single again, writer, knitter extraordinaire, and a sky-diver) is a self-proclaimed ‘Moon-child.’  She says she bathes in moonlight – adores Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, and dances by the light of the moon.

Always on the look out for  kindred spirits, she organizes a very well attended Moonshine Dance Party every “Major Moon”. Guests are encouraged to wear white, gossamer, clothing- bring a poem, Proseca or Champagne, and a moonlight inspired appetizer. Yes, oysters are  popular. Karyn’s soirees are famous.

Kick up your heels, dance in the mystical moonlight, kiss a stranger, love the madness of the full moon, tonight.

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“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”
Allen Ginsberg

“Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun.”

John Lennon

“Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life.”

Jean Paul

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piano_Sonata_No._14_(BeethovenMystical

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