Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Archive for the month “May, 2018”

Yes! New improved Shortest Fairy Tale

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It went viral – The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale was all over the Internet.

Bitter or Better?

Hey, Let’s try that again…


Once upon a time”… a man asked a woman, to marry him.  

 The woman said, “No. No thank you.”

… and for a while she lived pretty -happily-ever-after…

She went shopping, hiking, went to movies and volunteered at Casa de los Madres and Onebrick…she danced, frequented museums, book readings, drank really great wine, always had a clean house, did yoga three times a week;  cooked quinoa, tofu, brownies and  triple chocolate chip cookies when she felt like it; she did whatever she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many friends, compatriots, pals,  and buddies  …

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She entertained, went to lectures, bowled, she played and prayed – as needed.  She never watched sports ( except the SF Giants, the World Series, the Super Bowl, The Warriors,  and Wimbledon)  She never wore itchy, cheap lingerie; she had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled…she looked fabulous in sweat pants, designer jeans and Little Black Dresses  and  was pleasant all the time.

photo_1ben918_20060901Yawn. All that got old.

She learned that she was missing an important component…she craved and pined for someone  to partner with, establish  a connection – a union – a much more than mere friendship person.

She wanted to hold hands with, to wake -up -with-in-the morning, to kiss good night and wish ‘sweet dreams’ to every night for the rest of her life. ilove u_-9

She Wanted a Prince of a Man:   

A  perfect partner-in-crime, and play, in plans, to grow old with … And she opened her heart and her eyes and developed a more worldly view.  She was always one to share and play well with others…

When, lo and behold: she met a friend. A BoyFriend – and they clicked- they were a Match, they had Chemistry and Harmony… they got along.

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He was fun and funny, and sweet and thoughtful. They really enjoyed each other’s company. She had her Date for Life!

They were in love and Friends for Life. They planned, played, and lived happily ever after.

The Beginning.


Deckchairs with view of lake

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Her Final Fantasy? Will your Prince or Princess appear?


Feeling like Cinderella or Goldilocks: is dating too hard, too hot, or too cold?

Peggy is a 45+-year-old, Tech Exec who is very cute, smart and driven.

She is a woman who readily admits she really knows what she wants. Ironically, we met at a recent  Human Awareness Institute event about ‘Finding Love and Exploring Options’.

Over lunch, Peggy confided that she had drawn up a list of “The 101 Top Traits” she wanted in the man of her dreams. Incredulous, I asked her if she would be willing to share her list with me. She whipped out her iPhone and pulled up the lengthy -very specific list – which went on-  and on – ad naseum.

She was on the lookout for a man who played tennis, bridge, and chess; No Mensa members, must be a BMW driver, should be 5’8, weigh 168, and have alabaster skin. She wanted Mr. Right to have a full head of hair, preferably black hair, he should have 20/20 vision, and preferably blue eyes. She was specific about the kind of clothes he should wear (do they even make Sulka silk robes anymore?) and she even listed some of the books that he should have read.

I Stopped Reading at ‘Shoe Size’

 

Over mugs of green tea and divine Key Lime pie, I tried to gently talk Peggy down from the (read: ludicrous) shopping list she had created years earlier.  

However, compromise was not in her vocabulary.

She knew what she didn’t want: no doctors or lawyers need apply. Her first two husbands – one of each- taught her a big Life’s lesson, she said.

This time around she was looking for a more spiritual connection, somebody she could eat, love and pray with. When I asked her about her success rate, she blushed and admitted she was at the workshop for one reason: to find a man. She agreed to keep me posted on her successes. She will never be listless.

At dinner that evening, I saw Peggy deeply engrossed in a conversation with a fair skinned man, with blue eyes and a mane of black hair.

Wonder if he kept his silk bathrobe in his BMW?

 

Are you are reality based dater or a Must-Have-or-it’s-a deal-breaker kind of a social butterfly?

Tell me what works for you. Email me at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

 

 

Brilliant riposte: Dear Page Larkin- dating dilemmas

Caution!

Suddenly Single... Minded


Dear Page Larkin,

When Kath and I started dating, ((she’s 65, I’m 70) she was romantic and spontaneous. Four years later, she is less available. My job is the resason: we only see each other on weekends due to distance and driving. She claims she’s tired of the driving. I call the 18 miles from my house to her apartment “Our 18-mile Hallway.” She used to think that was romantic. Now, she wants to move into my house. I cherish my man-cave and don’t wish a full-time roommate.

Henry VIII

Dear Henry VIII

Dude, Fish or cut bait. Kath’s lack of luster may be in direct proportion to your unwillingness to take it up a notch. I imagine, at 65 she may be planning for the future and thinking your interest is waning with your dead end weekend-only arrangements.

Peace, Page

Dear Page,

I met a great guy online…

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Dating 101: Sex degrees of separation?

Playing Dating Monopoly?

Are you about to jump into the Internet Dating world? Feeling dizzy with the wide variety and vast number of choices of Online Dating services? Are they unique, stand alone entities, or possibly owned by the same Goliath Internet giant?

Dating neophyte, Sally said she envisioned Match.com to be a huge building, filled with employees who were romantics at heart, just like Cupid.

She imagined a sea of matchmakers, glued to the their computers, fatefully creating dates for life. She knew somewhere she had a perfect match, a twin: a non smoking, dog loving, petite, Gemini, middle child, NASCAR fan, rock climbing, New York Times puzzle lover.   

Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus.

However, Sally, there is no such thing as a real computer based Cupid.

Who’s your daddy?

If you were to do a search for top Internet dating companies you might be amazed to learn that dating sites: Match, Chemistry, Singleparentmeet, Blackpeoplemeet, Seniorpeoplemeet, Bbpeoplemeet, Loveandseek, all have the same parent company. They are all integral parts the Internet giant IAC owned by that ‘king of the media world’, IAC CEO Barry Diller.

What the heck is an IAC, you ask? George Orwell’s 1984 pales by comparison.Internet Giant, IAC is in your business and in multiple facets of your life. IAC owns Ask.com, Dictionary, Citysearch, EVite.com, Urbanspoon, Vimeo, Hotwire, Lending Tree, and Excite, Expedia, and Ticketmaster, plus a host of other sites.

No need to go dystopian about this, but, do take note. A lot of notes.

Baddoo and Bad News:The Russians are Meddling: Who owns Tinder? Bumble?

Badoo, founded in 2006 …launched in 2009 (3 years before Tinder), is headquartered in London with an office in Moscow.

Today it employs 300 developers, 80 of whom are women, who run Badoo and also provide support to Huggle, Chappy and Bumble.

The Russian Cupid, Andreev says his  biggest business, flagship Badoo,  launched a facial recognition feature in late 2017.

The feature allows users to upload an image of a person they like and find other Badoo users who look similar. “People really love it,” Andreev said.

Andreev refuses to share revenue figures for Badoo, but said the publicly traded IAC  operates online dating sites including OkCupid and Tinder, was a good comparison.

IAC which has a $12.2 billion market cap, reported $1.3 billion in revenue for 2017.

The Russian states, “We are smaller, but we are still a pretty big player.”

My love affair with Billy Collins

photo_1074_20060214dotttBilly Collins boarded my plane.

I was seated in 17C. He sat alone in 14C.

If my posture was both correct and very erect, I could see him. I could see his head and fractions of his body.

Two of his all-time very best Poetry books, “Flying Around the Room” and “Nine Horses” were in my carry-on bag. I was just reading the poems in “The Art of Drowning” last week. Did I conjure him up? Was he traveling alone? What was he reading? Could we do lunch?

I saw him dive into his carry-on and pull out massive Bose headphones. No subtle message there. If ever there was an object that screamed, “Do not talk to me,” its the “Big Boys Bose” headphones.

Craning my neck, I saw a small fraction of his head, shoulder and arm. I casually stretched to gain a better vantage and decided my bag could actually live in an overhead bin, for a while, thus providing me an excuse to stand up and move closer to Billy Collins.

Nonchalantly, I rose  – happily discovering that my bin was filled to the max – which would allow me to move, oh, so close, to Billy. A great mental debate ensued, “To hi or not to hi.”

A passionate fan for well over a decade – I owned a copy of every one of his books and gave a copy of Litany to every recent boyfriend. I’d seen Billy, in-person, in San Francisco and Los Angeles.  Plus, I had his books in my carry-on. Kismet. I was an A-1, authentic devotee. We both wrote poetry. We both used the word “perfervid” fervently. I had once memorized his poem on memory loss and our writing group did a whole session on his poem “Consolation.

While I gathered courage and feigned nonchalance, a voluptuous redhead in black leather pants and high heel boots, swaggered her way down the aisle

and slipped in next to my Billy Collins.

I watched – pretending not to be staring– as he removed his Big Bose and started conversing with the hussy. I could feel myself bristling and slowly turning into Kathy Bates in Misery. I imagine the people sitting next to me thought I  was acting like a pop-up prairie dog.

Hey! If I’d gotten this close to Billy – what would it take to invoke Michael Chabon? I’d both read the book and shopped on Telegraph Avenue; had seen the movie Wonder Boys, I was cavalier and liked clay. Okay, so that was a stretch.

Dejected and rejected, for the next hour I listened to Lyle Lovett and I buried my head in Sun magazine.

Once (okay, twice) I sat very  tall and looked – they were quaffing and chatting.

There was no consolation.

Well, actually,  I did have that lovely book of poems by my new very favorite poet,  David Whyte… Everything is Waiting for You.

Billy

Hey! May 7- National Love Letter Day- prepare to swoon

Roses are Red, Violets are blue – write me a Love letter…

Suddenly Single... Minded

There are no rules: Love letters can written on parchment, on brown paper bags,

on the backs of airline tickets, sale receipts, on a post-it note or a linen handkerchief…

You can write a love letter to a beau, a friend, a child, a relative…
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National Love Letter Day: John Steinbeck’s Most Romantic Letter about Love

Hailed as: The 2018 Most Romantic Love Letter 

John Steinbeck’s 1958 letter to his son, about Love, will make you swoon.This beautiful, whole-hearted letter to his  teenage son, Thom – is in response to the boy who declares his love for a girl named Susan. The sweet and tender words of wisdom are to be cherished.

New York November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s…

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