Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the month “December, 2017”

Dating Game: Secret to Success?

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Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence.

The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.

Denis Waitley

Almost

If you have been thinking…about adding Romance and Relationships to your life in the New Year…Take heed: drive and perisistence are the key. Sitting on the sidelines will garner no results. Stand up, get noticed and get in the Dating Game. 

Getting Tender: You don’t have to swipe left and right; nor do you have to dress like you daughter or niece.

Resolutions: If you do nothing else in January- make an effort to establish eye contact with the opposite sex and smile.

That’s all. Do it every day. Start small…work you way up.

Smiles = smiles.

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What do women want? Listen, Santa Baby

Santa Baby, we need to talk. Listen to this: reports indicate, every day, women say 1000 more words than male counterparts. We can talk about this, if you like.

A random poll recently conducted at Curves, a nail salon, an OB-Gyn office and a leading yoga studio revealed

The Top 200 Words that Women
Would Most Like to Hear are:

1. Merry Christmas, the blue little box is for you.

2. You are beautiful; those jeans make you look so thin and sexy.

3. How was your day? You’re brilliant. Hugs.

4. Here, darling, a couple of credit cards. Take them and go on a shopping spree. You deserve it. Gump’s is having a sale.

5. Can I draw you a bath? Let me wrap all the presents.

6. Of course, I’d love to watch a chick flick on the couch with you. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ or “Serendipity”?

7. Forget the 49ers. Let’s go walk at the beach.

8. I just called to say ‘I love you.’ Did you find the flowers I left on the doorstep?

9. You’re the greatest. Babe, sit down, watch your programs; I’ll do the dishes.

10. I’ve got mistletoe! You and me? Away in the manger?

11. Hark! Do you hear what I hear? The kids are asleep.

12. You’re an incredible wife and mother. I missed you and vacuumed the house.

Listen. Women may tend to be loquacious, voluble and talkative; we have a lot to say.

A savvy Santa is perceptive and sage. Spice up your life with the Top 200 Words Women Want to Hear.

A Classic San Francisco Christmas

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A Recipe For A Classic San Francisco Christmas

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The Christmas tree from the Guardsman’s lot

Revered ornaments from Gump’s, the Emporium, and I Magnin

A two-pound box of See’s chocolate on the table

Florals from Bloomer’s on Sacramento Street in the dining room

A silver tray filled with appetizers from Bryan’s

A display of sweets from Tartine and Miette

Candy canes from The Candy Store

The Liquor Cart filled with libations from the Jug Shop

Last minute necessities from the Five and Dime in Laurel Village

Yule log blazing and Christmas Carols on YouTube since the stereo the died

“Sing you a Merry Christmas” or The Snowflake Tea at Grace Cathedral

Christmas Eve Midnight mass at St. Ignatius

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“The extreme geniality of San Francisco’s economic, intellectual and political climate makes it the most varied and challenging city in the United States.” —

James Michener

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“The changing light / at San Francisco / is none of your East Coast light / none of your / pearly light of Paris / The light of San Francisco / is a sea light / an island light / And the light of fog / blanketing the hills / drifting in at night / through the Golden Gate / to lie on the city at dawn.” 

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

 

 

 

Date Bait: Want to hook a honey for Christmas? Best Match.com on

Patty W. lives in Pasadena and was single/again for two years befor she signed up for Match.com

In a flight of fancy, she filled out the online dating questionaire and in a short while,( read: one week)  she met the Love of Her Life. Yes, Binkie, it happens.

Patty in Pasadena

Hi. I am happy and positive, sensual, physically fit, passionate about life and very self-assured. Friends describe me as open, thoughtful and caring with an empathy for others.

You want and truly value a partner who is loyal and can be there for you, in all ways, and support your needs as well as your own. 
You’re active, attractive, eager to explore, intellectually curious and like to play. 
 
You have a busy and engaged life you love, but want a partner and best friend to share the highs and the lows with, and to grow together. You love to touch and be touched, and desire the emotional and physical intimacy that you know in your heart is truly possible. 
My “dream partner” and best friend is family-oriented, smiles a lot and is up for the adventure of life–comfortable with spontaneous (and perhaps even crazy) spur-of-the-moment trips both near to home and far away, when that is possible with our mutually busy schedules. 
 That week,  Patty had a dozen winks and few one-line notes from guys  and a sweet note from Gary in Oxnard. His note led to a lengthy, entertaining, phone call, a coffee date which lasted three hours and involved a long walk- replete with lively conversation and a connection.
That was a year ago. The two are making “Future Plans” and are forever indebted to miraculous Match.com.
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Miraculous

Were they all the wrong number?

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The Dating Diva of the Internet Jungle? I’ve been around the block enough times to be an official survivor storyteller.

After 12 long years married to Mr. Wrong Number and the ensuing divorce, I naively signed up for Internet dating.

Inspired by those romantic EHarmony ads on TV, I took the plunge into the Internet dating pool. For two hours I filled out an extremely long questionnaire before I paid the usual hefty fee.

Shortly thereafter, I was given an analysis of my personality and a description of my perfect match. Okay. I’ll admit it. I am seduced by flattery and EHarmony sent me pages of prose extolling my virtues.

It turns out I am honest, loyal, steadfast (I was beginning to sound like a Boy Scout.) Then the analysis lapsed into my right brain attributes – I sounded like Betty Crocker meets June Cleaver. And: cut to the chase. I just wanted to see the long line of Prince Charmings they had in store for me. In the TV ads couples connected in breakneck speed. A lot of Happily ever after seemed to be going on

Hurry up already

Then I learned what the term ‘Glacially slow’ means. A glacier moves one tiny fraction of the millimeter or inch every several thousand days just like EHarmony. (So my exact glacier mass measurements are fiction — but, the fact that EHarm is slow is so true).

Bingo: Then became of the three men who the told they were perfectly suited for me.

  • One man lived 90 miles away and was 3 inches shorter than I am in my stocking feet.
  • Lauren, from a cattle ranch near Reno liked to enjoy chess and NASCAR. Me? Not so much. He was nine years older than I am.
  • Next, Frank of Santa Rosa (doesn’t anybody live is in San Francisco) was a pilot, a triathlete and made his own tofu.
  • Granted, I have a preconceived notion about triatheletes and I won’t try an athlete who trains 20 hours a week. I want a guy who likes to walk on the beach, not swim to Alcatraz, I like take a leisurely ride to Golden Gate Park. not at breakneck speed.
  • The last exact match or so they claimed was Roland from Fresno. He liked cigars, port, his Bible and his six greyhounds. My allergies kicked in, just reading his profile. We didn’t have a thing in common.

So, what I hoped would be like Christmas presents was more like three lumps of coal.

I gracefully dismissed the first three candidates and dutifully waited for EH to send me 3-5 more perfect matches. Four days transpired and EH simply couldn’t find any man who matches my qualifications. Were my standards too high?

I received a pacifying note stating they were doing their very best to find a suitable candidate for me.

Then that afternoon, I thought I hit pay dirt: there were six men who lived somewhat close to me!

As I read each profile, I realized I had nothing in common with any of the men they presented. Granted, we all went to college, a number of them read books. Tim from Salinas sounded like a dedicated grandfather and a pillar of society. However, his ultimate goal seemed to be snuggling on the couch.

I dismissed the other guys who had nothing interesting to me and began to wonder about my standards, and what I must have written to cause a EH to send me so many ill- fitted suitors.

Then I got the picture. Perhaps I should change my high standards and settled for a man who was not as tall, not as fit, or not as involved as I had requested. Really? Hurry up and wait…

Then Julian showed up. I had listed I liked black Labs, red shoes, Mozart and –he did, too. His dog, Amadeus was in a photo with him. He was wearing red shoes…And so it begins…

Calling

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Put your hands up! Classic “No Phones” Christmas party


We entered the very chic, very private club only to encounter a small forest of Christmas trees, a-sparkle with twinkling lights

and old-fashioned ornaments, lining both sides the long hall hallway.

A Will Ferrell sized elf stood next to a ginormous silver punch bowl.

The huge sign, framed in tiny candy. canes read:

Blank white sandwich board on a city sidewalk

                             Club Rules

As fast as people surrendered their phones, Elf and his staff gave out claim tickets.

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Some people walked away slowly, looking back, incredulous.

Others were unsure what to do next – their hands-free.

The tables were laden with cookies and cakes and Christmas candy.

Several “Beverage Stations” lined the vast hall and waitresses dressed in red velvet Mrs. Santa mini-dresses and black boots passed hors d’oeuvres.

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A tiny army of energetic elves entertained the children with tricks and treats and silliness.

The musical sound of children laughing made everybody happy.

Bing, Buble, Botticelli, Clooney belted out classic Christmas songs.

In a swirl of Ho Ho Ho, Santa arrived- and with the help of the elves, everyone received a gift.

The children beamed (some screamed.)

Meanwhile, at the the Departure Area at the club, the elves lined up all the phones numerically for quick access and smooth departures.

The party was from 12 – to four-o’clock. It was a first “Phone Free Party” and many attendees were visibly uncomfortable a first – the, were swept up in the festivities and fun.

(Open hands –  Open heart)

It was a first and the ‘New Normal’ for the club.

Check your phones outside.

>If I Ruled the World</a>

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Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the program, Binkie



Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Calvin buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “Favorite Cute Customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Barista Kelly wrote her phone number on the sleeve of “his” coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

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Pat M. in Concord is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Frank X. buys bags of Hershey Kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Patsy S in the Medford  writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time.

Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

George, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to George. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Henry, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Lynne R, the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

LOVE 27
Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere.

Not Just for Christmas

Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin post.

Happy New YEAR!

Salinger was 40-something when we met.

Memories…

Suddenly Single... Minded

JD Salinger was 40-or 50 something when we met.

I had just been “Asked to leave” the all-girls boarding school near Carmel.

Sister Cecile Marie said my “Antics were no longer to be tolerated.” The old bag.  However, she agreed to give me one last chance.

So, I skipped study hall. I ditched my uniform in the hollow, redwood tree stump and slipped into my bellbottoms, Mexican peasant blouse, and sandals; I climbed over the fence in the school garden and hitchhiked into Carmel.

I went right to the beach. Most days, a guy from the all-boy’s school, Robert Louis Stevenson, would be smoking weed and reading Camus or Sartre and we would get high. This day, a perfect day for banana milkshake, an older guy asked if he could sit next to me in the sand. We struck up a conversation. I was so bored with all the phony…

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Hell hath no fury

The Devil, you say? Our nations’s capital is swarming with nefarious people.

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“Hell is other people.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

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Those who play with the devil’s toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.

R. Buckminster Fuller

via Daily Prompt: Saintly

A Tale of 2 Hustlers – San Francisco Seniors beware


Widows Peek?

Peter (60) is a self-proclaimed  man-about-town and bachelor.

He is on the lookout for San Francisco widows (live alone) from Pacific Heights, St. Francis Wood or Nob Hill.  Women must be 65 or older. He professes that he loves older women.  He has one suit, a navy blue blazer, a pair of gray slacks and a few vintage Countess Mara neckties from Goodwill.

On a first date, he wears one of his two uniforms, sports a fake Movado watch and has last month’s Economist or Wall Street Journal tucked under his arm.

Peter, no slouch, has studied etiquette, is charming, and makes a very good first impression. He presents himself as an entrepreneur and a bon vivant. He can dance around all incisive questions and flatter a woman until she blushes and believes the subtle stream of compliments coming her way.

He’s the kind of man who kisses a woman’s hand and gazes into her eyes. He alludes to romantic trips to Paris, Turks and Caicos, moonlight, massages and Dom Perignon.

Clever boy that he is, he has a well thought out, tightly scripted autobiography – with references to prepping,  a short-lived Ivy League education,  travel, fame and acclaim. Naturally, he reports he is retired and merely managing his money.

To Tell the Truth?

Peter lives with four roommates in the Sunset District. He calls himself an entrepreneur (which translates to “lightly employed”) and darn, he forgets his wallet quite frequently.

He gushes well-rehearsed apologies – followed up by more compliments. An accomplished house painter; you can find Peter on a ladder with a brush in hand when he’s not wooing his most recent target.

Some women see through the carefully crafted persona, the thin veil of charm and ask hard questions and dismiss Peter – others succumb to his charms, for a while.

Buyer beware.

On the Web: Black Widow?

Channel, 55, seeks out men who are 70 to 80, widowed, lonely, not adroit at online dating, and live in the right zip code. She has her own well-honed algorithm.

She has been trawling Seniors Meet, JDate, Match.com, Craigslist, Sugar Daddy, and MillionaireMatch the last 10 years.

Vivacious and flirtatious, she has dated dozens of men once or twice; others she has been with for months. Recently, she came very close to marrying a man  25 years her senior. He was 80, from Burlingame, a retired executive with real estate holdings all over the Peninsula and a condo in Maui. After much ‘encouragement’ from Channel, he bought her a four-carat ring from Tiffanys.  As fate would have it, shortly thereafter, he had a stroke and a heart attack and, bam! He was gone. Just as quickly, his three daughters closed ranks, labeled Channel a ‘gold digger’ and slammed the door in her face.

Next!

That little hiccup didn’t slow Channel down. She was out and about days later. She sold the ring, picked up a knock-off at Macy’s, picked up a new St John Knit, and now passes herself off as “a recent widow.”

She has her eye on the glitzy San Francisco retirement community, the San Francisco Towers, and The Sequoias as two hot potential places to meet her new man.

 “Was ever book containing such vile matter

So fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell

In such a gorgeous palace!

Shakespeare

 How do you protect yourself from scoundrels and sneaks?

Ask questions.

Talk on the phone – a lot- before you commit to meeting anyone.

What to Take on a First Date:

1. Identification
2. Cell phone
3. Money for a taxi
4. Keys
5. Phone number of ‘contact’ person’

Get Smart

There are certain logical guidelines for an initial meeting. Always trust your intuition. You know when something is not right. Don’t bring valuables. It’s a coffee date – not show and tell. (Leave the jewelry and credit cards at home)

If you are feeling strangely uncomfortable with the person –not just nervous- excuse yourself. It happens. If you feel compelled to provide an explanation, say you have to make a phone call, have to move your car, or meet a friend or get to work.

Buyer Beware – Always.

 

 

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