Polyamory vs Monogamy – table for three?
‘Date Watchers of San Francisco’ is an animated and opinionated women’s group who meet to weigh in on topics issues, mores, and trends. The topic du jour was “Monogamy and Polyamory.”
All agreed, the song, “Love the One You’re With“ should have been playing in the background. As a rule, the self-proclaimed “Ladies Who Launch” prefer to date, cohabit with, marry, and hang out with men, one man at a time.
Don’t Tread on Me – mon petite doormat
Marlene, the group leader, told the parable of her friend who crashed and burned in a dating debacle. Her friend, Kathy, met the man of her dreams. They were in love, inseparable, intoxicated with one another and head over heels for 5 months.
All was sublime until Mr. Right decided he wanted to ‘date around’ while still dating Kathy. He then wanted to know if she would be willing ‘to share him’ with a few other of his soon-to-be-intimate-girl- friends.
Devastated and direct, a resounding, “No!” was her succinct answer. Mr. Right was perplexed, self-absorbed and gone. Although Kathy was saddened by the experience and the loss she learned a lesson and shared her feelings. She was a whole lot wiser for the experience.
What you get when you cross a polyglot with a polyamorous? Someone who can cheat in six languages.
While Date Watchers discussed cheating, sharing and polyamory, they concluded they were all much more Pollyanna than Polyamory.
What happened to Pollyanna?
A week after checking the “Opt Out” box with Mr. Ménage a Many, Kathy was on the elevator at the 450 Sutter Medical Building and ran into an old (50-something) college friend, a dentist, widowed a year before, and a ballroom dance aficionado. From the 24th floor to the lobby they chatted, laughed and agreed to go dancing and now, they are making beautiful music together. It happens.
Jennie, 55, (the ink on the divorce papers was barely dry) had to chime in with her tale of “Whoa!” She recently signed up on two online dating sites. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, she said she been blissfully dating – multiple men. She was like a kid in a candy store. She bragged she was making up for lost time.
The other women listened as Jennie regaled them with her ‘Tales from the Crib.’
“Thirty dates in 30 days” sounded impressive and exhausting. Would a diabetic coma follow her sweet overload?
Two of the women agreed they experienced that same the same post-divorce-euphoria, to a lesser degree. The consensus was that hyperactive, Jennie should slow down and smell the flowers, instead of mowing them down. She was the classic too much, too soon, too fast, fey divorcee.
Jennie said she was perfectly upfront with each of the three men she was dating. The first guy said, “Hasta la vista, baby,” and walked out; Number Two wanted to woo Jennie and was willing to stay in the game; Number Three said “…Give me a call when you’re done experimenting.”
Can You Spell STD?
The wine continued to flow, as did the opinions. Yes, of course, all agreed life is short, however they also encouraged Jennie to slow down, take precautions, get tested, and focus on quality, not quantity.
Marlene, the wise said, “Jen, sweetie, you’ve got ADD. You have all the classic symptoms of Affection Deficit Disorder. It’s been a long time since you have had any action; all of this serial dating is just frothy, light and fun. Get it out of your system and then get real.”
The women raised their glasses in unison and said,” Here’s to those who love us, and here’s to those who don’t, a smile for those who are willing to, and a tear for those who won’t.”
Jennie, of the ‘get in the last word’ countered with: Remember what the late, great Mae West said,
“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”