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Archive for the month “April, 2017”

Kentucky Derby-whoa! Is that a donkey or a thoroughbred?

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And! We are off to the races!

Saturday, May 5 at 4pm EST is the much anticipated 2017 Kentucky Derby and the whole Equine-world will be watching.

Boyfriend Homework It is common knowledge, a horse and a good companion have grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. How does your current companion measure up?

Let’s say your paramour du jour has asked you to a Kentucky Derby party. How do you prepare for the event? Derby Party Success is based on THE Trifecta: hat, stats, quips.

photop-eacock First and foremost: Get a hat – the bigger, the better. Second, research the Derby and know the history, the stats, horses names – remember these two words, “Awesome Act.” Third, in preparation for the Kentucky Derby you should know, an inordinate amount of time leads up to the actual race. So, it’s hours of partying, horse talk, and betting in preparation for the fleeting and mercurial race.

happy_birthday_wm_sQuickly come up to speed – learn a few quotes, quips, and insights about life and horses. Borrow from the Bard.

These Lucky Seven are a good start:

A Hibernian sage once wrote that there are three things a man never forgets: The girl of his early youth, a devoted teacher, and a great horse. ~C.J.J. Mullen

A woman needs two animals – the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it. ~MM

* You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers

* In buying a horse or taking a wife, shut your eyes tight and commend yourself to God. ~ Tuscan Proverb

* There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

* It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall. ~ Mexican Proverb

* If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle. ~ Rita Mae Brownimages-93

Pin the Tail on the Donkey? A Southern belle, who virtually grew up at Kentucky Derby parties, and insists on anonymity, said she has seen more tiffs, spats, disputes between couples at the Derby – than any other sporting event. Blame it on the Mint Juleps? Hats that are too tight? The pressure to perform? She has never been able to pinpoint the actual reason -she merely said, thoroughbreds act like donkeys.

Have fun at the party- Cheers!cocktail-1705561__180-2
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One of the worst dates? Ever.

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We had agreed to meet at a place with “ambience and parking.”

I scored a parking place in front– arriving a few minutes early. We decided on trendy, watering-hole downtown. Perched on a barstool, I waited. Twenty minutes later, a tall, gray-haired man walked in. He didn’t resemble any of the photos I had seen online. However, he was 6’2 and was walking towards me, smiling.   He said, “Dear, you look just like your photo.”

I thought, “You don’t look a thing like yours. Dear.” He made no apology for being late.

He was wearing a tweed jacket-probably from the 80’s that might have fit him then -not now. Chalk it up to: “Needs help.”

He suggested we move to the table in the small garden in the back. We we’re seated in a lovely area far removed from the bar. The waiter dropped off our drinks and we didn’t see him again.

How we went from where did you go to school -where do you live to his cholesterol, resting heart rate, daily exercise regime, and insomnia, I’ll never know.

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On the dating profile, he indicated a passion for water sports, rowing, hiking and literature.

What he divulged was that his rowing took place in his living room-on a machine looking at the water. He was a big Danielle Steele fan. His hikes were to and from the grocery store.

It didn’t take much to decipher we have very little in common.

He displayed a great interest in my former husband.

Generally, my response is “That’s history.” And I move on.

However, Mr. Old Tweed Jacket was like a dog with a bone inquiring about my past. Which made him even less attractive. I suggested we get the check and call it a day. With no waiter insight, he suggested we simply walk out and not pay.

Then, I really knew I was with a loser.

On the way out, he went to the men’s room; I paid the bill.

And I said “Good luck.” (That’s what women say when they have no intention of ever seeing the guy again) He indicated he like to “do this again.”

Ha! Not in this lifetime.

I smiled, walked to my car, and drove off. Dodged that bullet.

 

 

Dating 101:Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Do you Yelp? Only if I am pinched…Can you meet a sweetheart on Yelp?

Suddenly Single... Minded

dice-161376__180 Q. Do you Yelp?

 A. Only If I am pinched!

Can you meet your soul mate on Yelp?

Dear Page,

I am 43, single again and decided to start over – and date younger women. I went online – decided to look for women on Yelp. I am a big Yelp Review Dude In three months, I have dated six much younger women – all dead ends.

First, I met Danniey – she said she was 26 and a restaurant critic. Curious, I asked her where she had recently dined she sent me her three recent reviews. This is “whot she wrote”

Too Fat: This place is by far the worst burger place I have went to.

Coming into Fat Burger, three people greeted us. I thought that was so sweet of them. Not a lot of burger joints will greet you that way. Anyways, it took my friend and I a while…

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Free Dating Advice for Men

 The sign says:

‘No Girls Allowed’

 There is a quiet and powerful campaign for men to “Mensch up.” What’s a Mensch? Webster’s says: n. Informal, pl., mensch·es, or mensch·en (m?n’sh?n). A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose:

Nietzsche wrote, “An uber-mensch as described by Zarathustra, is the one who is willing to risk all for the sake of enhancement of humanity.” You go, man.

If this Yiddish word conjures images of a Mel Brooks bit with a chorus line of Rabbis singing,

“Be a Mensch! Be a Mensch!” we are on the same page.

Where are the Better Men?

Wayne Levine, is a remarkable mentor, coach, author and founder of the excellent organization, Bettermen.org. He leads workshops and seminars and is a catalyst for men to become the great guys they were meant to be. Check out his short, sweet, to the point, video clips on becoming a better man.

Wayne Levine is a’ better man’; as a result, the world is a better place. Any man, who teaches his brothers to lead from the heart, and become best men, fathers, husbands, and leaders, is a hero.

hearts74__180Levine says doing the work to be a better man is an inside job. You gotta have heart. He touches upon the importance of integrity, exercise, communication, friendship, exploration and transformation


Best Dating Advice for Men

Levine claims to have the all-time, best dating advice for men and it is – free – on his website.    It’s short, sweet and to the point…Advice ‘Everyman’ should know.

Every once in awhile you run across something that resonates on such a lofty level – you pause, catch your breath, and then wisely forward it to everyone you think would benefit from it.

  You just might feel that way when you review his website. Or not. Know a guy? Tell him about Bettermen.org

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Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own.”    Goethe

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com . Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page. You’ll be glad you did.

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A Passel of  Popular dating websites by category:

O, ye of a little Faith:

Jdate.com (for Jewish singles), christianmingle.com (for those dedicated to Christianity), spiritualsingles.com (for no particular denomination).

If you are 50 and Up

Ourtime.com, seniorpeoplemeet.com, perfectmatch.com.

Who said tacky and tawdry?

Benaughty.com, adultdatelink.com,

Icky- ashleymadison.com – Got in so much trouble and ruined lives , marriages, relationships forever. Buyer Beware.

Call it quirky:

Millionairematch.com, datemypet.com (“Date me. Date my pet”), theatlasphere.com (connecting Ayn Rand fans), yogapassions.com, soul2match.com (matches people who look alike? Right.).

Time to Rhyme? Poetry – the ultimate chick magnet?



April is actually the coolest, not the cruelest, month- it’s National Poetry Month

 

The hot topic around the Sunday buffet was how perfectly seductive it is to hear a man recite a poem.

Consensus was, “Oh, yeah!” Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from a motion we collected in tranquility.”  Voltaire called poetry, “Music of the soul”

Whatever You Call It

Whether you recite a poem, a haiku, a sonnet – whether it’s blank verse – or free verse, lyrical or satirical- women swoon over poetry. There’s something irresistible and alluring about having someone recite a poem to you.

Poems are meant to be slow and leisurely, read aloud and read more than once.

Now is the time – to pick up a book of poems, choose a poet – whether it’s Ogden Nash (Candy Is dandy; But liquor Is quicker) or W.H. Auden, or local poet laureate: Kay Ryan or T.S. Eliot Keats, or Billy Collins.

Find a slim volume of poems and revel in the language. Poetic License- 100 Poems 100 Performers- the audio book – is romantic, breath-taking, and astounding. Check your local Indy Bookstore for a copy.

Poetry 101

Billy Collins, a highly esteemed favorite among English majors everywhere explains teaching poetry to students in his poem entitled, “Poetry 101”

Here are the Top 10 Poems of the Day

1. Elizabeth Barrett Browning “How Do I Love thee? Let me count the ways”

2. Robert Burns, scalding red-hot love poem: “My Red, Red, Rose”

3. Emily Dickinson “I Cannot Live with You”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 “Shall I Compare You to a Summer’s Day?”

5. Margaret Atwood “Variation on the Word Sleep“

6. Billy Collins “Litany”

7. William Wordsworth “The Daffodils”

8. W.H Auden’s “Funeral Blues”

9. Francis William Bourdillon “The Night has a Thousand Eyes”

10.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “The Day is Done”

Read them, recite them, revel in poetry.

“Poetry is the shadow cast by out streetlight imaginations.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Like jumping on a treadmill at full speed?


Welcome to your new role as Suddenly Single; ready to enter Dating World 2017?

You will gradually discover The Rites and the Wrongs of The Mating Game. Take heed. Research indicates there are two smart ways to look at the initial stages of the Dating Game:

1. Try the Rose Colored Glasses Technique – one rife with optimism and a healthy dose of denial – both considered keen coping devices.

2. Or, another popular system, most oft used by the strong of heart is the Cold Shower of Reality Technique.

The Rose Colored Glasses Technique  involves a Head Down, Heart Up, Gung Ho attitude where caution is thrown to the wind and you are wide open to new experiences – free from skepticism and negativity. You view DATING 2017 be like boarding a streetcar – knowing full well another will always come along…

Cold Shower is less forgiving and a lot more direct. There are no streetcar metaphors – more jumping on speeding Treadmill symbols come into play.

What are you up for?

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Tell me your story: page.larkin@gmail.com 

Denial

He was like Bill O’Reilly

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Mary Ellen said she knew he was famous. He had a swarm of people around him – one to hold his coffee, another to take dictation, one minion was there to hold a cell phone. There was a woman, dressed in black, with an apron bulging with a dozen brushes, make up, spray bottles and a mirror.

She could tell his his gray hair was dyed the same as the Crayola Red Orange. He wore make up.  He had to been closing in on 70, however, laugh lines and wrinkles seemed to had been artfully erased. By a skillful surgeon?

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After the usual exchange of emails and two phone calls, she agreed to meet him for coffee – at the famous downtown hotel. However, he called – to a ask a huge favor – could she possibly come to him? He was in the middle of a really big story- didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their first meeting.

She had a board meeting and the MOMA event -and  hastily, agreed to meet him. She told her Lyft driver to keep the meter running – she would be back 15 minutes. She had a pre- conceived notion this “coffee date” would be quick. His online dating profile was very interesting and a bit too self-serving. The request to “come to him” was almost reason to cancel – but curiosity got the best of her.

She had no problem finding him or  hearing him.  She stood by a pillar and watched from afar. As she observed, she couldn’t decide whether he was a “groper” a “fanny pincher” or just way too friendly with all the females around him. The song, “We are the Champions” was blaring in the background.

It took under five minutes before she realized this guy was trouble – a real Neanderthal. The snapshot of the way he treated the female staff – spoke volumes. 

Mary Ellen climb back into her Lyft mobile and knew full well – she dodged a bullet.

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Champion

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