Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Quitting a dating site? Clean up your act

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Darn! You thought you deleted your online dating photos.

And, bam! Three months later, Yahoo has your photo scrolling on their home page in a Match.com promotion: “Looking for Single Men in San Francisco?”

You thought you went through the necessary channels to quit once and for all. Match sent you the canned “Really? Are you sure you want to leave the party? Trixie, Tiffani, and Binkie will miss you.”

You push, “Cancel Account” and you think the party is over.

Not so fast, Dude.

For six more weeks, Match, Seniors, Our Time can run your photograph – making their inventory of Single men and women look full and diverse. And, who knew, you might see your old photo floating on the Yahoo home page. (Yahoo – desperate times – desperate measures?)

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Page Larkin’s Top Three Tips to Quit an Online Dating Site – aka Leave no Trace

#1. Delete all your photos. One by one. You don’t want your photo floating in their ads or hanging around for God and everyone to see…

#2. Copy and Paste everything you have written to a Word Doc. You might, someday, want to sign up for another site and use the pithy prose you produced, again.

#3. Finally, delete every single word you wrote on your profile. If a site, like Match, insists that you have 500 characters in any mini-essay, copy and paste in The Pledge of Allegiance or Dave Barry’s definition of “What Women Want” or the opening to Kafka’s, The Trial.

As a precautionary measure, change your age, gender, and height- the more ludicrous the better.

C’est fini! Leave no trace and your slate will be clean.

Cue: Fireworks

Cue: Fireworks

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare

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