Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Rocky relationship? Four letter word solution

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Dear Page Larkin

Help! I am 50+, lived in Oakland and work for in retail for major department store. Mr. Right is 70 and lived in San Francisco. He is retired and makes a whopper of Wampum writing Yelp reviews. We are in love.

After dating for eight months- and spending every weekend and holiday together, we decided living apart was too expensive, involved too much driving and we wanted to live together full-time. His condo was too tiny my apartment was too crowded for two.

Love conquers all?

We found the perfect cottage in Berkeley, signed the lease and moved in a month later. Weekends were like a honeymoon. On Monday mornings, I get up and go to work and leave him to revel in our little rose-covered cottage, with a fountain bubbling in the backyard, birds singing in the trees, Peet’s coffee is close. The Gourmet Ghetto – a short jaunt away.

 As a ghostwriter – he has plenty of clients and even more down time. I work in HR and am constantly putting out fires, hiring and firing, and training- children. The staff we hire all twenty-somethings with a cavalier attitude towards work, showing up, being on time. “Etiquette” is a foreign French word they, generally, have never grasped.Several new employees were baffled by the fact they can’t wear their pajamas and Uggs to work. Go figure- in a department store.

 Lucky for me, each night, Mr. Right has a glass of wine and a small hors d’oeuvre waiting for me in the garden. He loves to cook and spoils me. Sounds like perfection, right?

There is one small problem, he snores and talks in his sleep. In the beginning, I thought it was so cute: the darling little rumblings and ramblings he would utter while sleeping. The snoring was curbed with a little elbow to the ribs and he would turn over, the snoring would cease. In our new home – one bedroom – we are closer than we have ever been -many hours a day, every day of the week.

I’ve done a lot of research to find out there is a surgery that one can have to cure snoring and there’s also the very expensive sleep machine… both of these sound like good solutions to a very noisy problem. What should I do?

Dear Marcy at Macys,

Isn’t it romantic? Your story-rife with romance and a rose-covered cottage is delightful and the cacophony of snores from Mr Right isn’t unique. Some of my best friends…

Your simple solution is a four-letter word: CPAP

It is said, a CPAP machine has saved more marriages than Dr. Phil.

Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) is the leading therapy for sleep apnea. Patients wear a face or nasal mask during sleep. The mask, connected to a pump, provides a positive flow of air into the nasal passages in order to keep the airway open.

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Check it out! And let me know how that works for you.                                                      Love, Page

 

For help with your suddenly single and dating queries – send a question to Page.larkin@gmail.com

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2 thoughts on “Rocky relationship? Four letter word solution

  1. very unsexy to go to bed with a man wearing a machine at night!

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