A letter to Page Larkin: Air Kisses – a waste of air?
Help! I am failing at dating.
Stewart was the perfect gentleman. He brought me flowers, held the door open for me; he stood up when I returned to the table at a restaurant. We had six dates: dinners, movies, and lunches. At the end of each date, we merely brushed one another’s cheek, the proverbial air kiss, and that was it.
You wanna know the truth? I am used to a goodnight kiss and have been known to do more than “kiss air” after six dates. Not Stewart. Ciao, baby! I’m half Italian and my family is famous for bear hugs, pinching cheeks, and kissing every person we see a second time. My Aunt Caroline kissed grocery store clerks, the gardener, the mailman, but, hey, that’s a different story.
I Do: Kiss and Tell
My three best girl friends live vicariously through my dating exploits. Some days, I think they are keeping a scorecard. Maria is the first to call the day after a date and opens with, “Well?” She is as subtle as she is incisive. And each time I reply, “Air kiss.” She is incredulous that any man could resist my come hither-ness.
Through the years, she has heard most of my dating success stories and is my biggest fan. A dedicated friend, she assumes that any man who doesn’t kiss me on the lips must be gay. Maria is very black-and-white kind of thinker.
Next, Donna e-mails me after each date and always wants the “Scoops du jour.” She is a total foodie and first wants the 4-1-1 on where we dined and what we ate and drank. Naturally, she then inquires about dessert…which is not code for panne cotta – but, she wants details: like what happened after dinner: hugs, holding hands, any action?
Last to contact me is my quirky cousin, Carmella, who has been 39 for the last 10 years. Cynical only begins to describe her. She thinks that any man who never married and still single after 50 is “damaged goods” and she won’t even grace them with the time of day. A classic Italian Princess, she is a ‘piece of work’ and we tolerate her, mostly. The bumper sticker on her ancient BMW reads: “Behind every great man stands a woman rolling her eyes.”
Girls: The Peninsula
Recently, we had a “Cosmopolitans and Come to Jesus Meeting.” We get together once a month to eat, drink, and be merry. No hidden agendas/no agenda. We “tawk” which is to say, we tell all.
Encouraged by My Girls, I’ve tried speed dating, which slowed me down to a screeching halt. I’ve tried EHarmony with their cute commercials and their glacially slow process of finding a date – it’s more like finding a pen pal. Hey, who needs a pen pal?
Once I went on Milionairematch.com and found it’s crawling with men and women who will never match or be millionaires…it should be called Gold-diggers.com
Page, last night, My Girls had an epiphany. We all love your blog, and we want to invite you to be our guest speaker – if you can get a word in edgewise. RSVP!
Noreen in Burlingame
Dear Noreen in Burlingame, You are on! Can’t wait to talk you and the Girls. We will get your dating Mojo Moving and have fun doing it! Cheers,