Where not to break up: San Francisco
at the Huntington Hotel – a big mistake.
Beaus and Errors
She knew things were a little rocky – he was a somewhat aloof – and had not returned her texts in a timely fashion. He was frequently busy. However, she had high hopes that they would become a rock solid “couple.” He suggested meeting at the Big Four, an elegant Nob Hill restaurant. “Yay!” she thought, “How romantic!”
Little did she know…
She walked into the chi chi, glamorous, hotel atop Nob Hill. The doorman was cordial with a dash of gallant. The front desk clerks greeted her warmly.
The charming maître d’ escorted to the table where he was seated. He stood up as she approached. She was on cloud nine, thinking what a romantic, chic location for a rendezvous.
He was having tea and there was a small plate of pastries for them to share.
She ordered Earl Grey and while it was being prepared, he gently launched into a highly scripted, “ I like you. You are such a great person. It’s not you it’s me – I need some space – don’t take this personally- you deserve better- it’s me not you- I think we should call it quits.”
She was aghast. She was sitting in the luxurious green leather banquette with a man with a great deal of potential and means, and he was “letting her go.” Tears welled up in her eyes, she couldn’t believe he was breaking up with her in this tony public place; the waiters, like butterflies, attending to their every need. Her brain couldn’t grasp the breaking up concept.
Couples break up at Starbucks –
The true scum of the earth break up over the phone. Couples celebrate in the lap of luxury. If there is one thing she learned in law school, lo, those many years ago, it was the art of debate.
She dabbed at her eyes to avoid the whole mascara-raccoon look, and tried every angle she could to get him to give her another chance. She would do anything. Her pleas and flirting fell on deaf ears. She brought up the big guns- and cited all the fun dates they have enjoyed, the burning chemistry, and the potential bliss they could share.
He, a true gentleman and a little out of touch, allowed this to go on for three hours. Another big mistake.
The Take Away: Never breakup in a private club or in a glamorous or romantic restaurant. Set your ‘quiet timer’ for 30 minutes. Be gracious, succinct and compassionate. Thank them for coming, pay the bill and walk out together – light hug – best wishes- go your separate ways. C’est fini.
Tomorrow: Top Five Great Places in San Francisco: to Break Up Union Square