Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Eharmony outsources Profile Analysis – gives Fortune Cookie quips

EHARMSherry signed up with Eharmony, again. She had tried the dating service five years earlier – gave up with the slow as molasses protocol and the number of farmers and motorcyclists she was introduced to each day.

She raced through the 966 questions and waited for the slew of Prince Charmings to come her way.

Eharm compiled her answers and created “The Book of Sherry,” reputed to be an insightful analysis – she laughed hard and often at the Eharmony Fortune Cookie Wisdom. Who, in India, was writing this tripe?

She shared it with her SF Book Group, her fellow workers, some singles at church and and her Pilates pals – the wonderful Shelter Volunteers. They roared – you will, too.

fortune-cookies-354525__180

 Topic #1: REACTIONS OTHERS MAY HAVE TOWARDS YOU:  EH writes about Sherry

For people with tenderhearted compassion, your responses to helping others may seem cold and unsympathetic.

Sherry. you look at a situation and see a ton of stuff that others don’t.  But, you prefer the eccentric and avant-garde to the same-old, same-old. You gather information from books, conversations and general observations    ( Really?)  your perspective is very colorful because of your curiosity too. You are Original, Quirky, and Out-of-touch. (Seriously?)

  • Sherry, you know that feeling when the world is in your palm, and nothing can go wrong?
  • Do you carry sunshine in a bag when it rains? ( What? Sunshine in a bag?!)
  • Do you ever lose control? Within all of us lie joy, fear, sadness, anger, shame and disgust.
  • But to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us?  Hey! Let’s take a look at your emotional range and your reactions to life’s ups and downs. You are:
  • Stable
  • Composed
  • Poised
  • Cold and Insensitive
  • Topic #2 -Your Personal Qualities: you are cold, insensitive, hollow.

Sherry, you’re unflappable and clear-headed in crisis and are consistently confident and secure.

You may be solid as a rock, but you’re not as cold as stone. ( Huh? )

When life is good, you laugh with friends and share tender moments with those you’re closest to.

And when you’re sad or scared, you honor those feelings and then push past them. ( What?)

 theme park sideshow

The Grand Finale- Eharmony gets Freaky

The Final Blow from Eharmony: In conclusion

Some of your friends might think you’re emotionally cold, shallow and hollow – that you don’t care enough about their significant moments. This is true.

“Their significant moments…”

The kids in the American English as a Second Language at the EH OutSource campus may be cold as stone, filled with shame and disgust and are seeking sunshine in a bag…while Eharmony charges a whopping $70 for one month to explore and be verbally abused by unleashed, untrained, wanna be writers. 

Despite her effort to “report” her experience – no one at EH wanted to listen.

Sherry said, “Good bye” and jumped ship!

 

Exit Sign

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