He snores – she snores: living together at 50+
Last May, Karyn rolled her eyes and said that living with Robert was bliss-perfection-even more wonderful than she had imagined.
Except for that one little flaw. Flaw? Mr. Wonderful? Mr. Tall, dark, handsome, highly successful Robert? She whispered, “He snores. A little like a small water buffalo.”
How bad was it? Move to another bedroom bad or just earplugs and melatonin bad? She was discreet in all their affairs, and merely waved her hand and tsk-ed, “Oh, not that bad.”
Flash forward to now-and Karyn is no longer fluffing this one off
She has dark circles under her eyes and the Bobbi Brown concealer barely conceals. And, she will quietly share she just had the first good night’s sleep in weeks, because Robert had gone to a meeting in Ontario. She reveled in the nocturnal silence. She thought about taping “The Quietude of the Boudoir” as a meditation tape she could play back with her Bose headphones when Robert returned. She dismissed the idea as silly, but the night before he returned-she turned on her tape player to record three hours of white noise and pure silence. The next morning, she tucked tape player away in the bedside table.
Robert’s return was highly anticipated
Karyn shopped, prepped, and cooked his favorite meal to eat by candlelight, accompanied by Miles Davis and Keith Jarrett on their cool, old record player. He was clearly exhausted. He had a three-hour delay in Denver, missed an airline connection and was beat. After dinner, they retired to the bedroom – within minutes he was out and snoring.
For Karyn, the week of silence had been purely intoxicating and was now a distant memory as the cacophony of snorts, airbursts and coughs punctuated the night.
The tape! Proud of her white-noise-invention, she found her Bose headphones and the mini-tape player and placed them on her side of the bed. She cleansed, toned, moisturized, and climbed into bed next to her amore as he belted raucous snores. Blissfully, she listened to her newly created, perfect, white noise tape. She could barely hear the muffled rustling of her satin duvet. As she was relaxing into silence, she heard a strange noise.
Something was wrong with the tape. It must be flawed. She heard a rush of air and a soft wheezing sound. The tape must be broken. Then she heard the pattern again. Louder. Snoring! Had she taped Robert and forgotten?
No, as she listened to the shocking snorting noise, she sadly discovered she, too, snored. Somewhat softly – but, she had a small problem. She would erase the tape in the morning and head off to the health food store for Melatonin. And, maybe soothing, a sleep-inducing Belleruth Naperstek tape, earplugs might be good…brandy…her mind was whirling- while the love of her life was sleeping like a baby.
Damn him. Sweet dreams…