Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Dating 101: Don’t write a shopping list: My Perfect Mate Must Have

  • photo_1102_20060215He has been on Match.com for five years. He knows what he wants…

 

“Savvy Stanley” from Atherton has composed  “Top 13 Qualities” his Perfect Match Must Have:

  1. You must be emotionally warm, generous.
  2. You must be open, kind, intelligent, sexy, romantic, spontaneous,
  3. You are  available – no kids tugging at your heart, wallet, front door.
  4. You’ve resolved the key issues of your character and life. You’re easy, and emotionally wise and comfortable.
  5. You have a good sense of humor. You admire my wit.
  6. You have developed a successful career with meaning -which contributes to making the world a better place, and which elicits admiration from your colleagues, friends and family.
  7. You must be  financially solvent.
  8. You come from a happy home life, with parents who were happy and loved you.
  9. You’ve been married, know what it takes to make such a commitment work—and, even though it did not become a uccess- you know why your marriage didn’t work, you’ve recovered from its loss or celebrate your liberation.
  10. You’re clear-eyed, and emotionally wise and comfortable in your own skin and my arms
  11. You are not judgmental, depressed, on mind bending medication, in or recovering from any addiction.
  12. You find yourself laughing easily and often….and know when to stop
  13. You’re intelligent, intellectually curious and active, artful and voracious in ways that have meaning to me.

Gorilla photo_2Dear Stanley,

A number of women “Copy and pasted” your Top 13 Must Have Qualities from your Match.com profile and have mailed them to other women, writers, columnists. Remember: Telephone, Telegraph, Tell  a Woman?  You’ve been “Outed,” dear one.

There were roars of laughter from the Yoga Babes in San Francisco – until they realized you were serious. Which led to that International Gagging Sign of insert finger in mouth feign choking.

Carpe Diem, darlin – Relax. And enjoy the ride. Coming to the party with a list – is a true buzzkill and precludes any spontaneity.

However, Barbie in Brisbane (“50- looks 30- Model, Divorced Thrice, has kids -t hey live in the back”) thinks you sound “Fabulous” and she would love to meet you. No, she didn’t read your profile – she thought your photograph was “cute” and liked the fact that you lived in Atherton. She really wants to meet you.

 Best of luck. Stanley- in your pursuit of mutual  happiness, companionship, honesty and total lack of control issues.

Love, 

Page Larkin

 

Yes, Dear Reader…all the names have been changed to protect the egos of many…

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