Déjà Vu – are all Bay Area single men alike?
Kitty (57, Napa girl, RN, Pastels painter, Zinfandel fan, Scorpio) has been suddenly-single-again, for three years. Not one to waste time- she dabbled in a half-dozen dating sites including: Ourtime, the Right Stuff, JDate, Match.com – and by big mistake, Adult Friend seeker. (Note: avoid any site with the word “Adult” in the title.)
In the beginning, Kitty surmised there were only 5 Types of Single Men:
- I’m So Cool and Single: Perpetually playing the field – for decades.
- Recently Widowed: Deer in the headlights: seeking a nurse or a purse.
- Recently Divorced: Hungry and hunting – not Good-will-hunting. Dating around and getting horizontal and bed hopping was a major goal.
- Kind of Separated: A married man –a wanna be playboy – playing the field and claimed to be doing research. His wife didn’t understand him.
- Desperately Divorced – cannot adjust to being single and needs someone to cook, clean, iron his socks, and hand him the remote control.
However, after three “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions – we amped up her profile and her pictures (no Selfies, please) and Kitty agreed to take off her cynical shroud and get in the dating game. It is all about attitude.
Turn On Your Filter
Once cynical and very pessimistic, Kitty met a plethora of playboys and dead-end dates. Why? Perhaps her filtering system was on “low.” She had low expectations and took low-to-minimal time getting to know a date prior to their first meeting. We addressed the importance of taking the time to talk to your potential date. (At 57, Tinder/aka Hook ups Anonymous is not your friend.)
Initial phone calls and emails may not be the Holy Grail – however, they reveal a lot about a person. Asking questions and conversing with a total stranger should last way more than ten minutes.
Ask questions, talk on the phone, email one another a few times. Don’t get caught up in a morass of emails. Remember, jumping to conclusions and blithely dating –anyone- can be a waste of time, money, and tough on the self-esteem.
Be patient and have fun out there.
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”
John Quincy Adams
Suddenly SIngle and Perplexed by this New Chapter?
Want to know more about Page Larkin “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions?
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org