Dating 101: dating the same type guys- a dead end?
She amazed her friends with the number of dates she went on, each week.
Testing the Waters?
She was a real-live “Dating Diva” on Craigslist; meeting new men every week, buoyed her confidence and prompted Dorothy to join Plenty of Fish.
She instantly learned the ‘catch and release’ practice at Plenty of Fish, and she trawled every day. She was exhilarated with coffee dates, walking dates and her favorite, ‘choose a museum and entertain me’ gauntlet.
Eventually, tired of the site, she decided to take it up a notch and try Eharmony.
Like magic, Dorothy’s calendar filled with dates. Her friends teased her that they needed a scorecard to keep track of all the men in her life. She claimed to know, within the first five minutes, if the guy was a ” Keeper” or a “Next.”
Her friends counted, she had 84 dates in four months. Dorothy was definitely on a quest to meet Mr. Right. Friends wondered if she was looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?
Deja Vu All over Again
Recently, Dorothy realized she was dating the same three men, over and over again. Her friends loudly agreed and said the guys resembled characters on the Wizard of Oz. No flying monkeys or munchkins, just deja vu dudes,
#1. The first type of man she kept re-meeting, re-visiting, and re-encountering and was a typical cowardly lion: all bravado, no bite.
Take Mike, please.
A Mike Type: is a retired jock; at one time in his life he was a 10, he once swaggered around campus in his letterman’s jacket, had that IBM internship, married his high school sweetheart and, Bam! He woke up 20 years later; he was divorced, disenchanted, not even close to being a 10- what with those extra pounds, the gleaming chrome dome, and had new Ikea-enhanced, bachelor pad in Sausalito.
However, Mike still thought he was pretty cool- save for one thing: he was afraid of women. Dorothy classified him as “all talk no action.” He could talk a mean story, flirt up a storm, and then he ran out of steam and went home. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He had a great roar and no follow-up. Oddly, Dorothy was, initially, attracted to the type
#2. Hay – Look Me Over- The Straw Man
Her next magnetic attraction is a typical ‘Straw Man.’ He looked great from the outside: dashing, well coiffed, drives the right, sleek, black, BMW sedan and can talk for hours about himself and his myriad accomplishments. However, there’s no there there. A classic Straw Man has flash and very little substance. Dorothy liked the excitement, then came to realize how shallow and empty she felt around this type of fellow.
#3. Is He a Tin Man or Iron Man?
Dorothy’s friends laugh when she tells them – again- she’s met a new man at the gym. Here we go – Déjà vu all over again. Gym guy is usually a “Half iron” man… Often, he is somewhat tall, kind of dark, and mildly handsome and totally in love with himself. Yeah, he has a big heart and his heart belongs to – himself. Mr. Vanity generally flirts with much younger, buff, blonde, 20-somethings and it rarely is mutual. Dorothy knows, the Iron man doesn’t have a chance with girls his daughters age. He doesn’t know this, yet. She is amused.
Sometimes it takes 84 dates dates to realize, who we are looking for may not be a ‘perfect match’ and that list “Top Ten Perfect Man for Me” with George Clooney, Robert Redford, Clive Owen, Liam Neeson, etc. my not be reality based. Dorothy has toned down her Quantity-dating and is on the path to meeting and enjoying Quality men…one at a time.
Page Larkin’s Eight Ways to Meet Singles Your Age
- Date your decade,
- Say “yes” to most invitations,
- Get out of the house – go outside and play
- Push away from the computer
- Get dressed and plan to go out and meet a lot of people at events, gatherings, classes, parties,
- Everyday, Smile more: look people in the eye and smile.
- Flirt even more every day. Make it a goal.
- And, don’t waste precious time with dead end dates.