Critical: Trust your gut – first date nightmares
After a handful of e-mails and phone calls, John invited Marsha over to his house for coffee and to meet his rescue dogs. On a whim, she agreed. Upon arrival, she found John’s house was a mess. There were piles of clutter in the driveway, on the front steps, and the lawn. The barking dogs jumped up on Marsha while John laughed off their enthusiasm. He eventually locked the howling hounds in the garage. The dogs had tramped in dirt and leaves into the house. Dog food pebbles were scattered over the kitchen floor. The house smelled like wet dogs. Marsha was gone in 20 minutes. She kicked herself for not asking more questions before driving the distance to John’s house. Next.
Clay (62, twice divorced, poet, limo driver) suggested he and Janelle (56, divorced, case-manger, painter, skier) skip the proverbial ‘First date -Coffee date’ and go out to dinner together. Impulsively, she agreed. Janelle states she usually knows within 30-minutes if a first date is going to work out. She dropped her standard coffee-date-protocol and met Clay at The House of Prime Rib.
He was tall, a bit heavier than his photo and gregarious. He suggested martinis to start the meal and she deferred to Pellegrino water. They talked for a while before the massive menus arrived. Clay said he had his eyes on a Fred Flintstones slab of beef and encouraged her to do the same. She politely reminded him she was a vegetarian. She grew more uncomfortable as he became more garrulous and loud. The waiter asked if they would like to order additional drinks before ordering their entrées and Clay said, “Absolutely!”
Straw +camel +back = broken
Janelle looked across the table and said, “Clay, I’m sorry this doesn’t feel right. I trust my instincts, and I’m going to go. Don’t get up, please. I’m going to grab a cab. Goodbye and good luck.”
He did get up, and was a profusion of apologies. She continued walking out of the bustling restaurant. She kicked herself for not following her gut.
A dinner date is always going to be a minimum of 60 minutes. She’d made a mistake and didn’t spend enough time talking before meeting for the date. Lesson learned: trust your gut.
Think about it, do you want to sit across from a total stranger who “seemed nice on the phone”- or someone you know you have some concrete things in common with and who has potential?
“There is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance” Albert Einstein