Dating Games people play – Risk or Trivial Pursuit?
Mike, 48, newly divorced, and Nancy, 40-something, met on his first day on Match.com. His dating profile was posted for less than one hour before she contacted him. Intrigued by her write up and photos, he replied, they spoke on the phone, met for a drink that night and were inseparable for 18 months. It happens.
Then Mike decided to break up with Nancy. She wanted the ring, the white dress, the white picket fence and a new puppy for their new married lifestyle. She had extravagant ideas about redecorating his home, landscaping, and painting each room a special shade of moss green. They agreed her petite condo in the Marina was claustrophobic so, incrementally, she had moved half her wardrobe, her bike, blender, espresso-maker and drawers of cosmetics to his house.
He wasn’t 100% sure that he and Nancy were meant to be “lifers.” Their long weekends and the mini-vacations to Aspen, Santa Fe, and New Orleans had met all of his needs. In time, he pulled away – travelling more for work and thinking seriously about “getting single again.”
After the inevitable, dramatic, breakup, he decided to try EHarmony. He soon met a number of women who shared his passion for the San Francisco opera, the symphony, jazz clubs and sushi.
At one point, he created a spreadsheet to keep track of the six women he was seeing. He had a habit of going to the same three restaurants (Absinthe, La Folie and Perbacco) with all of this dates and decided it might be wise to expand his boundaries.
He’d seen the movie, Blue Jasmine twice, had been to the new jazz club six times, and to the opera and symphony and decided to keep clean and concise Dating Records. Two of the women he was seeing, Annie and Bonita, seemed to be “multi-daters” like him. They both alluded to the fact they have been dating quite a bit since their respective divorces. Did they have spread sheets? Never mind, he did and it really helped keeping names and addresses straight.
Helene from Sausalito, flirtatious and bold, admitted to him that, post-divorce, her first stop was to 450 Sutter Street to a renowned plastic surgeon for “the works.” Mike was too much of a gentleman to ask what she had done. However, he did notice there were no old photographs of her anywhere in her condo. After two month and many dates, Helene gracefully told him she just wanted to be “friends” and she cut him loose.
Another woman, Connie the broker from St Francis Wood stood him up on their date at Gary Danko. No text, no email, no call. No thanks.
After eight months of serial dating and wooing, Mike grew tired of the chase.
He decided to call Nancy and see if she was willing to meet – perhaps pick up where they left off – with certain stipulations and caveats (no wedding bells to be included in the deal.)
Nancy answered on the first ring and gushed the exciting news that she was getting married in two weeks and then honeymooning in Bali with the love of her life, Charles. She wished him luck and good-bye and quickly returned to her wedding cake testing.
The phone call with Nancy lasted less than two minutes and it took hours for him to process the news – her upcoming marriage – his loss – what had gone wrong – what were her issues? Did he have any issues? Certainly not –he was a perfect date, a perfect gentleman, and a successful businessman with top-drawer credentials. His first marriage lasted five years – it was most certainly her fault. She was demanding.
Mike decided he might try a new path and sign up for Chemistry.com They claimed “their matches were carefully selected to have the potential to ignite some real chemistry in your life. Chemistry! His favorite game growing up…
Why not give it a try?
Do you have a really bad “The Worst First Date?” nightmare or fiasco? Tell me about it.