Make a list of what you are looking for in a date-for-life
We were a bunch of girls in a dorm – fueled by boredom and Sangria.
We would make lists and dream up the perfect boyfriend…
My Boyfriend Must Have ran the gamut from:
- A cool car,
- A job,
- A 4.0,
- A credit card,
- No roommates,
- Soft lips and warm hands …
- then we got serious and decided a passport and a trust fund were “must haves” – (followed by gales of laughter. Ole! More Sangria, por favor.)
Naturally, our answers changed with time – cool cars became less important.
Meghan, 48, recently divorced and new to online dating sent me a ‘My Partner Must Have’ list from a man she had started dating. He had created a very specific, lengthy catalogue of characteristics his girl friend must have. Or else. She asked me my professional opinion, was he “A keeper” or too controlling?” Take a look at his list.
‘The Top 10 Must Have’ list from “Cool Dude in Palo Alto”
My perfect mate must have:
- A healthy and fit body which delights
- You must maintain loving relations with long term and close friends, and family.
- You must love children; you meet the challenges of parenting with empathy, humor, and wisdom
- To keep up with me you have to have an active mind; you must have resolved the key issues of your life.
- Must be emotionally very wise and comfortable
- Must be emotionally warm, generous, and accessible
- You must be financially solvent.
- You must come from a happy home life, with parents who were happy and loved you.
- You’ve must have been married, and know what it takes to make such a lifetime commitment work.
Is he Mr. Right or Listless?
The list was preposterous!
Without wasting any time, I advised Meghan to delete and move on.
Any man with a shopping list that demanding and uber-specific – seeking a Barbie Doll, was barely worth the time it takes to hit the Delete button. She could do better. And have a lot more fun.
“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche