Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Make a list of what you are looking for in a date-for-life

drinxIn college, we played the My Boyfriend Must Have” game.

We were a bunch of girls in a dorm – fueled by boredom and Sangria.

We would make lists and dream up the perfect boyfriend…

 My Boyfriend Must Have ran the gamut from:

  • A cool car, 
  • A job, 
  • A 4.0,
  • A credit card,
  • No roommates,
  • Soft lips and warm hands …
  • then we got serious and decided  a passport and a trust fund were “must haves” – (followed by gales of laughter. Ole! More Sangria, por favor.)

Naturally, our answers changed with time – cool cars became less important.

playing cardsOne Man’s Shopping List – 2013

Meghan, 48, recently divorced and new to online dating sent me a ‘My Partner Must Have’ list from a man she had started dating.  He had created a very specific, lengthy catalogue of characteristics his girl friend must have. Or else.  She asked me my professional opinion, was he “A keeper” or too controlling?” Take a look at his list.

 ‘The Top 10 Must Have’ list from “Cool Dude in Palo Alto”

My perfect mate must have:

  • A healthy and fit body which delights
  • You must maintain loving relations with long term and close friends, and family.
  • You must love children; you meet the challenges of parenting with empathy, humor, and wisdom
  • To keep up with me you have to have an active mind; you must have resolved the key issues of your life.
  • Must be emotionally very wise and comfortable
  • Must be emotionally warm, generous, and accessible
  • You must be financially solvent.
  • You must come from a happy home life, with parents who were happy and loved you.
  • You’ve must have been married, and know what it takes to make such a lifetime commitment work.

Is he Mr. Right or Listless?

The list was preposterous!

Without wasting any time, I advised Meghan to delete and move on.

Any man with a shopping list that demanding and uber-specific – seeking a Barbie Doll, was barely worth the time it takes to hit the Delete button. She could do better. And have a lot more fun.


“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche


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