Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Are you striking out with every date?

photo_6303_20080612gloveWho is on first? What’s on second, and I Don’t Know is on third.

Abbott and Costello’s rapid-fire baseball comedy bit: Who’s on First? is a perfect metaphor for the dating game. In romance and in baseball there are wins, losses, slumps, night games and home runs.


After you’ve connected with someone online, expect: The Formula. This is where you  each exchange three e-mails, followed by a phone call. A few phone calls, generally 2.5, (one message left on answering machine) may be followed by a text message or one more email. Then it happens: the line drive, maybe a double play: the coffee shop quickie where you size up one another.

Some first daters bring a mental yardstick and quickly assess the other person. Hank is a classic measurer-upper. An engineer by profession, Hank was used to the facts, just the facts ma’am. From the moment he shook hands with a woman he had romanced on the phone and via e-mail, he was calculating. It took quite a few dates and many calculations before Hank realized the ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ was a better fit for him than a Playboy bunny. Quality start.


Debbie D. has a different modus operandi. At least twice a week, the  staff at Pacific Catch restaurant in the Sunset District watches her meet different men for coffee. The dating diva has it down to a science. Debbie meets a man online, exchanges emails and eventually, 2.5 phone calls later, agrees to a public meeting. She casually suggests the place near her home:  Pacific Catch – note: irony. The two agree upon a time. She arrives 10 minutes early, wearing her uniform: a revealing black lululemon yoga outfit. She carries props: a copy of the New Yorker, her purse and cell phone.

She says she knows within three minutes if the man is a ‘keeper.’ She said if he looks like his picture, measures up to the height he claims, carries on a conversation, she’s interested. The coffee date could be 10 minutes or an hour, depending. Once a serious speedy-serial-dater, Debbie has slowed down and admits to be looking for a man who is “kind, open, available and geographically desirable.’ It works for her. Home run.



Some singles are looking for a goal and a scoring position. Others, shy at first, balk or throw a few fastballs. There is a wide spectrum of dating styles.

You get to decide what works for you. Perhaps the fast and furious Jdate  is your style; Plenty of Fish ( the popular free dating site) may be your price range. The giant, user-friendly might be the right fit.

Time to get in the dating game? Unless you are in the game, you’ll always be wondering: Who’s on first, and what’s on second? Get in the game. Batter up!

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

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