New to the Dating Game? Market Yourself
There is a plethora of books, lectures, and videos telling singles who are 50 plus how to package their assets, develop a personal brand, leverage niche marketing, use direct mail and telemarketing to get the word out, establish a sweetheart-hunting budget, And hold quarterly performance reviews to assess the results.
Bewitched, bothered and really bewildered? Relax; it doesn’t have to be that complicated, unless you are vying for that MBA in Singles Marketing Theorem. Go Thoreau and enjoy the process and simplify.
Picky, Picky, Picky. Online Dating Peccadilloes
So what has changed since the thrilling 1970’s? Today, there are dozens of studies analyzing every aspect of dating, online dating, speed dating and coping with being suddenly single. Analysis done at UC Berkeley indicates that when it come to online dating women, are pickier than men. Interesting.
It also sounds like the girls are a lot less flexible in their ‘preferences’ for age and ethnicity than the boys. Perhaps more girls are still subscribing to that old hunter-gatherer syndrome: men hunt – women wait – to be contacted. What’s up with that? Bon vivant, Ronnie Raven of Baltimore, says “Tell women it’s all a numbers game. And, you’ve got to get in the game or you don’t get to play.” Game on? You will have more fun getting into the game than watching from the single solitary sidelines.
Are Men More Open-minded?
Evidence also states that guys involved in the dating game, cast a wider net than women. Men generally have very few limits, or restrictions, when they are looking for their potential dates. As a rule, guys tend to “reach out and touch” more women – more often. Men are consistently labeled as being ‘visual’. Some say men get virtual whiplash from rapidly scanning photographs of women on Match.com. Men are all about pictures. Dating guru, Dr Diana Kirschner, author of the best selling, Love in 90 Days, encourages women to register on, at least, two dating sites and to make the date quest a daily habit.
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” Henry David Thoreau
1. The Big Hat and Sunglasses – never submit a photo of you enshrouded in a large hat and sunglasses. The photo screams, “I am hiding something – bad hair, no hair, tattoos, or evil squinty eyes or, my true age.”
2. Clichés are your enemy– avoid them – especially the very trite: ” Read my lips; I am man’s best friend; make my day; I want a meaningful relationship; no love lost; when you lie like a rug.” Please delete, “I love to laugh” Really? As opposed to, what? And side step the swirl of ‘I look great in designer jeans or a little black dress; tuxedo/jeans, and the egregious glass -half -empty cliché. Finally, the worst whine-line: “This is hard to write.” Listen, Binkie, you can do this.
3. Spell check is your friend – Are you really a ‘Gentile giant’? Or an ‘empty-half class girl’? Can you really look great in ‘a tuxedo and jeans,’ together?
Best Advice? Ease on into the dating game – make your own rules- respect the dynamic – one step at a time.
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” Thoreau
Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button on this page. San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: Page.Larkin@gmail.com
Suggested by the author:
Oh, boy! Mensch up and be all that you can be
City Secrets: hot spot for a second date
Boo! What are you afraid of?