Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Don’t do this on a date!

Oh happy day; it’s a date. The first date.


Finally. After all that due diligence.

You scanned dozens of photos and read all those profiles- some good- some great- some, not so much. Then, it finally happened. After weeks of trawling online for one kindred spirit, you’ve connected with someone you really like. You both adore Squirrel Nut Zippers,morning bun at Tartine Bakery, Little Star Pizza and West Coast Swing and Spirit Rock. Cool.  You’ve exchanged the requisite three e-mails, two telephone calls, and both decided upon meeting for the proverbial ‘coffee date’.

At all costs – avoid these Blunders and Bloopers. Being polite and thoughtful trumps rude every time.

Remember: Top 10 First Date Never Ever Do This:

1. Arrive late and fail to apologize.

2. Post an ancient photo of yourself, which doesn’t remotely resemble you.

3. Assume the other person will pay for coffee. You are a big girl/boy.

4. Take and make phone calls or text during the date.

5. Share details about your divorce. Nobody wants to hear about it. Really.

6. Advertise you are divorced, when you’re really separated. Truth in advertising is big in this area, too.

7. Ask your date how much they weigh, their height, age, or salary.

8. Bore your date with stories of your past trophy dates and exploits.

9. Step out for a smoke. Return with a toothpick. Yawn. Three strikes – yer’ out!

10. “Go HR” this is supposed to be a coffee date, not a job interview. Relax already


Let’s say things are going far better than you ever imagined. Now what? How much time do you spend? Thirty minutes? An hour?  Relax. There are no hard and fast rules. Common sense trumps any dating data. First and foremost, have a good time. And, remember the old saying: “How am I going to miss you, if you don’t go away?”

 Now What? Dash, Kiss, Hug or Shake Hands?

As the date ends and you are reluctantly leaving one another, you can gauge the level of interest instantly. It’s the old handshake versus hug conundrum. Do they go for the handshake or the light hug? A perfunctory handshake (no Rosetta stone required) simply means, “It was nice meeting you. Next.” Whereas, a light hug means, “Let’s do this again.” One second date, coming up.



good ideas for a second date

“Steve the Serial the Dater from Albany” writes, “…skip mundane coffee shops and get creative. Meet at a nursery. Steve suggests Yabusaki’s on Dwight Way in Berkeley.  He says, “It’s easy and romantic to wander through aisles of fragrant flowers, a plethora of plants and trees and stunning bonsai.”

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.”    Oscar Wilde

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