Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Hell hath no fury like they who lie and lie and lie

The Devil, you say? Our nations’s capital is swarming with nefarious people.

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“Hell is other people.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

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Those who play with the devil’s toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.

R. Buckminster Fuller

 

via Daily Prompt: Saintly

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Sugar n spice or frogs and snails? Boys vs. girls on the dance floor

And the ladies begin the Beguine….

What are little boys made of?  What about little girls: Sugar and spice and everything nice?

The Dance of the Sexes: The Evite said come to a dance- filled experiment in “Sexual Energy Escape.”

Sixty  people showed up to a makeshift Berkeley ballroom in a funky warehouse space to participate in the dance event. Thirty men and thirty women, all 40 to 50-something, by invitation only – facilitated by dancer, Rainbea Kanyon.

How do you begin the Beguine?  

Our host, a barefoot Amazon with a wild halo of blonde frizzy hair, wore a simple muslin chemise over an incredible muscular and toned body. As floods of people arrived and checked coats, we were told: no talking, remove our shoes, hydrate continually and commence dancing. C’est fini.

On the dance floor…

May I have this Dance?

Start dancing? In a bizarre turn of events, the men gravitated to one side – women on another. The music was a mélange– Keith Jarrett segued into the Rolling Stones, Satie, and Sinatra, blended into Techno followed by a slice of Lawrence Welk then hip-hop. Chubby Checker’s “Let’s Twist Again”  lit up the room everyone went wild and laughed. Michael Jackson hits then  Joan Jett & The Black Hearts sang “I Love Rock & Roll” followed by “Spirit In The Sky” – Norman Greenbaum. There was never a moment of silence. Nor could you anticipate the eclectic music.

And the fans go wild

The music changed and became more drum oriented, the men naturally started in what looked like war dances, rain dances, conga lines, stomping, doing a kind of Samoan chest thumping, with big, bold gestures.


As music became more animated – loud drums pulsing and hypnotic- first two- then 10 men began crawling- on- their -bellies- like reptillies – two men shoulder to shoulder, forming a snake were slithering around the dance floor. Laughing….We women were amused and confused. How did this cadre of men – total strangers – end up bonding and slithering?

Girls just want to have fun

Women wafted, soft-shoed, floated, were jazzy, sexy and did salsa, hula and rhumba; we did a whole lot of swaying, shimmy and shimmer. Men jumped, stomped, pranced, and war danced, several tried break dancing.                    

Dancing fools~~~~

The men were stealing the show.     

The music changed, again, and the men were high energy, brio, bravado, and gusto.  As a rule, the women were tripping the light fantastic, doing a bit of ballet, belly dancing, jete, some threw in a little yoga, a dash of Pilates, even some Jazzercise reared its ugly head. Rainbeau encouraged, inspired, motivated, and vitalized the group.

Everyone appeared to be having fun – the men, on the other side, appeared to be having way more fun. Rainbea told us to form a   a circle and we danced, lugging,smiling, flirting and everyone dissolved into couples…

Men and women on the dance floor of life – so much more fun heart -to -heart and holding hands.

What is the Secret to happiness? Low Expectations?


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Humorist Dave Barry said:

“What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.

What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

 

Listen to what she says on the first date, Binkie

Truth be told…just listen…

Suddenly Single... Minded

The truth is loud and clear – Just Listen

Ted confided he hadn’t been on a date in a very long time.

His Match.com account was filled with the cobwebs of inactivity. He tried Tinder and didn’t get swiped or swept away. Out of the blue, Kiki K.of SF   reached out to him and started a dialogue. They exchanged a few emails – she was new in town, lost – didnt know where the cool bars and godd restaurants were. She wondered if he could help. Could he? Oh, yeah.

She invited him over to her apartment – and aplogized in advance, she was moving and things and were topsy-turvey. She lived in the Haight. Well, he thought, perhaps in the better part…He arrived and drove around for awhile before a small sliver of a parking space appeared. After “helloes”  she explained she was nervous- had some anxiety issues…

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Dear Page Larkin: Help with online dating

Dear Page,

Help! I’ve had three “first dates” with three different women who all came on like gangbusters. I met each for a drink at a quiet bar on Geary Boulevard. I am a prince when it comes to easing into conversations. Each of these women “Cut to the chase” within three minutes of nice to meet you-How was your day-where do you work-small talk.

Wanda One want to know how I felt about Collin Kaepernick and the Bob Woodward’s book, “Fear.”

Tessie Two, ordered the glass of water (really?) That was a first.  She asked me, within minutes, why my most recent relationship failed and where I saw myself in five years. I sipped my Chardonnay, swirled around the glass a bit and looked at her. I smiled at her and asked her how her day was.

I can tap dance around questions à la Fred Astaire-but these  women were so off-putting. It took a while for them to settle down and put their ironclad agendas aside.

The grand finale, (I was noticing a trend) 

 Tessie Three seemed lovely and polite; however, within the first five minutes she asked me just how deeply I had fallen in love and what were my true intentions with online dating?  Finally, she asked if I’ve ever cheated. And, why.

All this before “What’s your major; do you come here often; and, what do you do for living?”

I’m thinking each  these women (in their 30’s) exhibited a quiet desperation (Procreation time clock ticking?) and want to spend as little time as possible in the romance dance.  What’s up with this new tactic? 

Shocked on San Bruno

Dear Shocked San Bruno

As it turns out, some deem small talk and initial a public conversation a waste of time. I’ve met women who insist life is short and they have no reason to tiptoe around- they want to test the guy first.

Dealing is not a test; it’s more like a dance where one meets, converses, ascertains. If there’s a connection,  bombarding anybody with personal questions at first light is more than just impolite.

I’m convinced she’s out there keep looking, San Bruno

Love,  Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I have been single-divorced for five years. At first, dating again was fun. I met the good, the bad, and the ugh. I dated a dozen different guys before I met a very special man. We went steady for year. Gradually, the façade cracked bigtime and I clearly realized he wasn’t “the one.”

Now that I’m back in the dating pool, I’ve met several men who have asked me the most personal /intense questions regarding my failed marriage-my goals and aspirations-last relationship challenges. I’m shocked. What happened to getting to know you?  Is this a new trend – or just plain rude?

Leilani in Hilo

Dear Leilani in Hilo,

You’re not the first to  comment about this attack dog technique on first dates. I’ve met a number of people who feel they don’t want to waste time on a dead-end date. Why would you even show up for a coffee date, if you think there’s a possibility of the person being a dead-end? Why would you ask deep personal questions unless you want to alienate the person?

More people are won over by courteous and thoughtful manners- than aggressive behavior.  Have fun out there!

Love, Page

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Top 10 Trump Tragedies

Yikes!

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

Thanks, Bill Moyers

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1.Delaying Protection from Pollutants

The EPA proposed delaying for two years an Obama-era rule that would have cracked down on pollutants from drilling operations that contribute to climate change and endanger people’s health.
2. Letting Women and Girls Down

President Trump reportedly plans to let the White House Council on Women and Girls go dark citing budget cuts and redundancies. The office, established to monitor policy changes and collaborate with women’s groups, is untenanted while the administration considers its future status, according to Politico.

The administration also announced this week that they will scrap a rule aimed at preventing pay discrimination.
3. Gutting Teen Pregnancy Prevention Programs

The Trump administration is completely defunding the nationwide Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program, cutting $213 million in assistance that supports roughly 1.2 million teenagers across the country.

Also, the administration recently removed a 2014 report on sexual violence from the…

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Dear Page Larkin: Foolish Women and Great Guys?

Look Out!

Suddenly Single... Minded

Party_girlDear Page

Satuday night, my new guy showed up with a bottle of chilled Procesco, Mel Brooks’  “History of  the World” and two bags of popcorn – one with sea salt and a brown sugar melange, a bag of M&M’s and, admittedly, an impressive fruit tray. And more chocolate. TCHO. He calls me and sends sweet greeting cards every week….I just am not sure about him. What shall I do?
Bossy Pants Petaluma

18588813_10154604543093907_6660958162672801964_o Dear Bossy Pants Petaluma
Don’t spend another minute thinking about this: send ME his number, thanks! A million girls would love to be wooed by a guy that clever and cute and sweet. Get Woke, girlfriend.

pexels-photo-302081.jpegPage, Help!

I am 55, divorced, no kids, employed and  know I am the perfect date – dozens of women have told me that. My problem is so many gals just want  one date, one meal, one bottle of wine and they…

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Two kinds of men online? Are you a wolf or a puppy?

Online dating-  there are two kinds of guy.

The first guy is of the candy store mentality: Booya! Life is a buffet. Let me put you in my little black book – I’ll call ya! We’ll call him Phil Anderer.

Then there is the more patient, sincere guy – more of a one relationship at a time – sweet and attentive; women call him Prince Charming.

Or: One Date at a Timephoto_1021_20060206

Eventually, Roger- the 62 year old, suddenly-single dating neophyte – was dating.

Sally was a “perfect match’ and he was enjoying her company and concerts, exploring San Francisco and the comfortable companionship.

His buddy, Big Daddy ( aka Mike B from law school days) invited him to join a Marin men’s group. It was an intense knot of over-achievers, trust fund boys, and a few strikingly handsome metro-sexuals (who would later espouse the need for facials, eyebrow-shaping, and a wardrobe of eyeglasses) who talked about their feelings and treating women-all women (wives, lovers, trysts,) with respect.

Big Daddy- a self-appointed coach- took Roger by the hand and ‘guided’ him. He readily shared his well-honed philosophy on life, love, ladies, community, and the “basic human need for a variety of sexual partners.”

He reminded his conservative pal, that after 30 years with the same woman, it was time to make up for lost time. Life was a buffet – he encouraged his Roger to dive in. Big Daddy would show him the way.

Although very enamored with Sally, whom he had been happily dating for weeks – he was taken with the idea of a lazy Susan of sexual partners.

Meanwhile, back at The Commune

Big Daddy’s unusual living arrangement had Roger imagining a Bob, Ted, Carol, and Alice scenario: Bed hopping, one-night stands and casual trysts.  Roger thought it sounded delicious. They did a walk-through of the property. Roger was impressed by the organic vegetable garden, the meditation rooms, the vast hot tub, fire pits near the  deck, a sauna for 10, and a  remarkable, sunken living room with wall-to-wall mattresses. Big Daddy called it the “Party Room.” There were solar panels on every building and lots of hugs and kisses as Roger met “The Crew.” Everyone hugged and kissed. Nice.

Like a Black Lab, panting with excitement, Roger wanted to know where to sign up.

And so it began…

Being an ethical man – in all fairness, Roger felt like he had to share his new lifestyle opportunity with Sally.

In a perfect world, she would be part of his harem.

He would break the news that night after dinner.

Gator20081017Sally called it  

The Last Supper and Bon Voyage, Loser!

Daddy’s little girl wakes up

Wake up and Avoid the Losers…

Suddenly Single... Minded

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Lucy sent an email to her four best friends- advising them they all had permission to loudly remind her  “He is not that into you!” every time she started dating another dead-end dude.

She told The Girls they had her approval to remind her, immediately, if I she ever started dating a loser.

Embarrassed, she admitted that she rationalized when Richard L. got moody and sullen. She chalked it up to the pressure of his job at the University.  Later, when Gregory S.  was hostile and aggressive – she sloughed it off and said he was just tired. The worst was Michael, whom all the girls hated because he treated Lucy so poorly: he didn’t show up for dates, he didn’t call her back, he obviously was cheating on her and, Lucy let him walk all over her.

Years of therapy had taught Lucy that her father, the dominating (yet…

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Worst Online Dating Pix?

Don’t try this at home

Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words and in the wild, wonderful, world of online dating – you must put your best photo forward.

Here are the worst of the day:

 

 

 

Take you time, ask a friend to assit with taking and selecting the most flattering photos.

There is only you and your camera.

The limitations in your photography are in yourself,

for what we see is what we are.

Ernst Haas

The Simon Cowell of Dating at 50 – Page Larkin

Me? The Queen of Mean? Tsk tsk

Suddenly Single... Minded

Me?  The Queen of Mean? Whatever do you mean?

Dear Page Larkin,

I think You are the Simon Cowell of Dating Specialists. Why are you so blunt and cold? I’m almost 50, back into dating and confused by Skype dating, speed dating, friends with benefits and calls for booty. It’s hard out there and the so-called Boom-Boom Generation needs to be coddled and cuddled.

American Idle

Dear American Idle,

Sweetie, let me get you a pillow and a blanket – you have enough whine. You are absolutely right; at first- it is uncomfortable on the Internet dating merry-go-round. But wearing those rose-colored glasses can cause myopia and tunnel vision. While I do try to infuse a sense of optimism – realism is a much better coping mechanism.

T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear much reality.” Bottom line: get real, have fun and treat your new social life with a sense of…

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