Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Salinger was 40-something when we met.

Memories…

Suddenly Single... Minded

JD Salinger was 40-or 50 something when we met.

I had just been “Asked to leave” the all-girls boarding school near Carmel.

Sister Cecile Marie said my “Antics were no longer to be tolerated.” The old bag.  However, she agreed to give me one last chance.

So, I skipped study hall. I ditched my uniform in the hollow, redwood tree stump and slipped into my bellbottoms, Mexican peasant blouse, and sandals; I climbed over the fence in the school garden and hitchhiked into Carmel.

I went right to the beach. Most days, a guy from the all-boy’s school, Robert Louis Stevenson, would be smoking weed and reading Camus or Sartre and we would get high. This day, a perfect day for banana milkshake, an older guy asked if he could sit next to me in the sand. We struck up a conversation. I was so bored with all the phony…

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Hell hath no fury

The Devil, you say? Our nations’s capital is swarming with nefarious people.

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“Hell is other people.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

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Those who play with the devil’s toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.

R. Buckminster Fuller

via Daily Prompt: Saintly

A Tale of 2 Hustlers – San Francisco Seniors beware


Widows Peek?

Peter (60) is a self-proclaimed  man-about-town and bachelor.

He is on the lookout for San Francisco widows (live alone) from Pacific Heights, St. Francis Wood or Nob Hill.  Women must be 65 or older. He professes that he loves older women.  He has one suit, a navy blue blazer, a pair of gray slacks and a few vintage Countess Mara neckties from Goodwill.

On a first date, he wears one of his two uniforms, sports a fake Movado watch and has last month’s Economist or Wall Street Journal tucked under his arm.

Peter, no slouch, has studied etiquette, is charming, and makes a very good first impression. He presents himself as an entrepreneur and a bon vivant. He can dance around all incisive questions and flatter a woman until she blushes and believes the subtle stream of compliments coming her way.

He’s the kind of man who kisses a woman’s hand and gazes into her eyes. He alludes to romantic trips to Paris, Turks and Caicos, moonlight, massages and Dom Perignon.

Clever boy that he is, he has a well thought out, tightly scripted autobiography – with references to prepping,  a short-lived Ivy League education,  travel, fame and acclaim. Naturally, he reports he is retired and merely managing his money.

To Tell the Truth?

Peter lives with four roommates in the Sunset District. He calls himself an entrepreneur (which translates to “lightly employed”) and darn, he forgets his wallet quite frequently.

He gushes well-rehearsed apologies – followed up by more compliments. An accomplished house painter; you can find Peter on a ladder with a brush in hand when he’s not wooing his most recent target.

Some women see through the carefully crafted persona, the thin veil of charm and ask hard questions and dismiss Peter – others succumb to his charms, for a while.

Buyer beware.

On the Web: Black Widow?

Channel, 55, seeks out men who are 70 to 80, widowed, lonely, not adroit at online dating, and live in the right zip code. She has her own well-honed algorithm.

She has been trawling Seniors Meet, JDate, Match.com, Craigslist, Sugar Daddy, and MillionaireMatch the last 10 years.

Vivacious and flirtatious, she has dated dozens of men once or twice; others she has been with for months. Recently, she came very close to marrying a man  25 years her senior. He was 80, from Burlingame, a retired executive with real estate holdings all over the Peninsula and a condo in Maui. After much ‘encouragement’ from Channel, he bought her a four-carat ring from Tiffanys.  As fate would have it, shortly thereafter, he had a stroke and a heart attack and, bam! He was gone. Just as quickly, his three daughters closed ranks, labeled Channel a ‘gold digger’ and slammed the door in her face.

Next!

That little hiccup didn’t slow Channel down. She was out and about days later. She sold the ring, picked up a knock-off at Macy’s, picked up a new St John Knit, and now passes herself off as “a recent widow.”

She has her eye on the glitzy San Francisco retirement community, the San Francisco Towers, and The Sequoias as two hot potential places to meet her new man.

 “Was ever book containing such vile matter

So fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell

In such a gorgeous palace!

Shakespeare

 How do you protect yourself from scoundrels and sneaks?

Ask questions.

Talk on the phone – a lot- before you commit to meeting anyone.

What to Take on a First Date:

1. Identification
2. Cell phone
3. Money for a taxi
4. Keys
5. Phone number of ‘contact’ person’

Get Smart

There are certain logical guidelines for an initial meeting. Always trust your intuition. You know when something is not right. Don’t bring valuables. It’s a coffee date – not show and tell. (Leave the jewelry and credit cards at home)

If you are feeling strangely uncomfortable with the person –not just nervous- excuse yourself. It happens. If you feel compelled to provide an explanation, say you have to make a phone call, have to move your car, or meet a friend or get to work.

Buyer Beware – Always.

 

 

What to get him for Christmas? Check out Daly’s 1895


No More Mugs, no more Cd’s, no more bottles of wine…

Check out this new

Hot Spot on the Horizon…

Dalys 1895

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Skip the trite and mundane –

Bespoke Spoken Here

 

Take a look at these hot gifts to tickle someone’s fancy this holiday:

Stunning Money Clips, Pocket Squares, and a handsome compendium of  elegant and unique Men’s Furnishings. Take a look.

Dalys 1895

 
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Money Clips,Pocket Squares, Elegant and Unique Men’s Furnishings.

The days of trite joke gifts and funny Santa Hats are over.

Now is the time to show your beau you really mean it.

Happy Shopping – don’t forget the  mistletoe!indexmistellletoeoeoe


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Curling – Romancing the stone: Kizzle Kazzle?


photo_5939_20080515Romancing the stone…

Curling, the novel and  very mysterious  Scottish sport, created in the 16th century…and Everybody’s talking about the novel sport-on-ice involving great patience and a sweeping technique.

Curling involves four players and simple equipment consisting of a 42-pound stone and brooms. The players, called Sleepers, guide the stone and frantically sweep the ice with brooms. Yes, brooms.                                                

And there’s great slang like kizzle kazzle – what’s not to like about Curling?

Cynics say Curling is like watching the famous TV Yule Log, so popular on Christmas day, because both are mildly entertaining, totally relaxing and a little slow.

Tossing the First Stone

Imagine: Scotland in 1590, freezing temps, a stark and bleak landscape and frozen rivers and ponds all around.  So what else would you do after a hearty meal of haggis, laddie?   You hit the frozen lake, with a broom and a stone and: play stone!

Thus, the birth of a game.

Curious? The cool history of Curling was written in 1890 by John Kerr. The History of Curling is often regarded as one of the comprehensive histories of the sport. Not considered light reading… few have been swept away.

Party on – Leave No Stone Unturned

Have a Curling party tonight. Decorations are easy: Brooms and Ttones are all you need. Menu planning? Please – Skip the Haggis. kilt small
Go for Single Malt Scotch, Colcannon or Rumbledethumps, or Salmon.          

 Slàinte!

I want Rumbledethumps!

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Wear Mistletoe, smile more and flirt more


Your Merry Mantra:

Play hard and work soft

Yes, Virginia, tis the season to be flirting.

In my small rural hometown, most people say ‘Hello,’ and ‘Good morning,’ and ‘Hey’ as they get to work and play in the morning. Actual Eye contact is involved.

People wave and nod to one another. Men and women both hold the door for one another. You hear the word “Thanks,” a lot.

I want to hold your hand. Please.

I think there’s more hand-holding in that small town, per capita, than there is in all of San Francisco. They say in San Francisco there’s more emphasis placed on career success, than (sit down; drink optional) relationship success. What’s up with that?

No, Virginia, this more convivial behavior is not Amish, Quaker or Mormon. It’s just another mindset. Maybe it’s a throwback to the 1950’s.

It is very Mid-West.

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San Francisco needs more smiling, flirting, and mistletoe

Why do you suppose merely “Being friendly” is so foreign in San Francisco?

After a week of this time-travel-world, I recently returned to the City. As my luggage came off the carousel, I was forced back onto the merry-go-round of San Francisco, where we go so fast, we miss meeting one another.

Slow down, put that phone down and smile at someone! Now.

We’re texting, Twittering, we’re Linkedn, clicking away on Instagram and Snapchat and were on Facebook, and on variations of Matchme.com. We belong to social clubs, gyms, book clubs, bike clubs, chess clubs or teams of some sort. Really, it is still like two ships passing in the aisle at Bryan’s, Safeway or Trader Joe’s.

Hello! Hi! Hey! Over here!

Did you ever think that just as you’re going out the side door of the store- with exactly the same carefully selected food items in your recyclable bag – that your doppelganger is about to buy the same carefully selected items? And, she or he, too, will walk out, alone, with their recyclable bags?

Did we both just work out, see the same film, and go out to dinner with single friends? What are the chances we run, hike, ride, walk, stroll, or spelunk in the exact same location, at different times?

The Playground of Life

Whether you are on a merry-go-round, a slide, or a teeter-totter, you have to admit: it a bizarre time to be at the Singles Playground.

I’ll go out on a limb- unless the ground rules change to involve more people saying ‘Hey’ ‘Hello’ and ‘Good morning’, we will all be living single, solitary, parallel lives.

So close and yet, so far away.

NotJust for Christmas

Now is the Time to Flirt and Have Happy Holidays

If ever there was a time to be jolly and bright – now is the time.

Starting today: smile and say “hey” to five people (read: persons of the opposite sex sans wedding ring). Repeat. Daily. Speak to people in line at the store, on MUNI, in a cafe.

Resolve to have fun this holiday season, start today.indexmistellletoeoeoe

Get mistletoe – wear it on your lapel, on your hat- and hang it over every door you can …

I say play hard and work soft. Flirt often and carry a big smile.

Say hey, hey, hey at: Page.Larkin@gmail.comchristmabulb frame__180

Going out on a ReDate?

The ReDate…also referred to as a Déjà vu date is a new dating phenomenon             and everyone is doing it.

Well, not everybody – however, a casual poll conducted this week indicates 85% of those queried would seriously consider   ReDating  a person they once dated…
Dusting off your little black book and reconnecting with people you’ve dated in the past, is now deemed both smart and comfortable, as well as a ‘no-brainer’ and a ‘second chance at love’.

Webster might define a ReDate as “An engagement to go out socially, again, with a person from your past, as in: someone you dated – previously. Second chance.”

Everyone knows there are myriad reasons dating couples break up, split up, detach, disappear, and slip away. There are a million stories in the dated city.   The concept of a ReDate introduces the benefit of already knowing a person and realizing, perhaps you were to rash, at first blush. If at first you don’t succeed, ReDate.

George  has been called a ‘Perpetual Bachelor’ and a bon vivant… His iMac, Little Black Book and Rolodex are filled with a plethora of names of women he has dated in the past.  He has been a man-about-town for a decade. Or two.  He said, “ReDating is like a romantic breakthrough where you realize you may have passed up a potential love-of-your life, by mistake, and you want to connect, again. ReDate.”

It has been said, loudly and often, that scrolling through pages of pictures and profiles on the Online Dating Sites is like a stroll through a never-ending buffet line ~ too much fluff – a whole lotta jello, empty carbs and empty suits, loads of sweets with not enough content, depth or reality.    The problem: there is such a wide assortment, it stultifies.

Both men and women get overwhelmed, minds get muddled, hearts go thump in the night. Right? Mistakes are made ~ and we all think about the one who got away.

The answer: ReDate. Give it a try, again.

Happy Thanksgiving!


“The family… a strange little band of characters trudging through life… inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”

Erma Bombeck

fruits and flowers

 

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”  EB

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“Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. ” EB

Fort Collins Fall

 

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.

Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.

Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”  

Henry Van Dyke

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She thought he was a honk…

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Dominika is a regular at the famous Palo Alto pick up bar, Rosewood. Her posse, Renate, Tatyana and Vera car-pool with her every Thursday night. 

They considered themselves “Russian beauties,” and dressed in risqué cocktail dresses and very high heels.  The girls are still slipping and skipping over English phrases. However, they  learned important phrases, “You here alone?” “What’s your name?”  “Buy me drink?” “You like party?” “You have cash?”

Some of the English words were very hard for Dominika and her gang. When a conversation got too complicated, the girls would move in with the hand-on-the-knee move. The well-rehearsed ploy moved to whispers – foricing the prey to move in closer.

Renate considered herself smarter, prettier and better with the “Anglish vords.”

She called men “honks.” She had over-heard the word in the ladies room       and decided to use this American word.

Men blinked at her and wondered what she was saying…

 

Honk

One small problem with Mr Right?

Three Strikes vs Lucky Strikes?

Suddenly Single... Minded

Phil was a great guy. Everybody said so.

He was single, straight, employed, fun, well-read, loved the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland Warriors. He had tickets to the SF Film Festival and liked to watch roller derby at Kezar. He opened doors and opened hearts and was an well-practiced flirt. Women loved him.

Most women loved him – he was a prince. He had one small problem that 9 out of 10 women he started to date could not abide by – he smoked. A lot. It was rare to see him without a cigarette.

Women who saw him in church or at the library were generally smitten with the shock of silver hair, the baby-blues eyes and his engaging, ready-smile. 

Sure, he tried to kick the habit  and heartily agreed with Mark Twain who said,

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.

I know because I’ve done…

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