Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Romeo, Romeo, what turns you on?

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The Romeos (Retired Old Men Eating Out) meet at Zuni Cafe every first Tuesday for lunch and laughs.
The average age of this coterie is 65. Teddy, 80, is ebullient with a quick wink and a great smile. Eight guys sit around tables pulled together and drink really good wine and share a meal and jokes. You are a very lucky person if they catch you laughing at their lightning fast repartee. That was my good fortune.

The self-appointed Alpha Romeo, George, invited me to share a glass of wine with “The Boys” Platters of food and three bottles of Copain Pinot Noir were on the zinc-covered tables. The group of friends was engaged and and very entertaining. In the course of an animated conversation, I revealed I was completing a book called, “Sex in the City for Girls over 50” This simple announcement was met with thunderous applause and promises to buy dozens of copies for the Romeos, their cronies, kith and kin.

I liked these guys, a lot.

Love never dies of starvation…maybe of indigestion.

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When I asked the boys what they did to celebrate Valentine’s Day, the topic of aphrodisiacs came up immediately. They listed the usual: oysters, chocolate, wing of bat, eye of newt, chocolate covered cherries from Peet’s. Libido, lingering around lingerie and Champagne were bandied about. These good friends laugh a lot and tease even more.

Make Someone Happy

After banter and bravado, Teddy leaned in and said for the last 10 years the dashing Romeos had served lunch at St. Anthony’s Soup Kitchen every Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Now, that’s a turn on, right?

Happy Valentine’s Day means happy hearts.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

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Behind the Red Door-Taize-a night to remember

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Date Night Suggestions: Wednesday in San Francisco


door-122654__180Behind the Red Door: Taize at Trinity

You enter the pitch-black, church (Trinity Church)  lit only by a burst of ruby red candles lining the altar and an array of glowing, golden candles flickering on the side altars.

You have found Taize. Pick up a lighted votive candle and a handout. Take a seat in the front of the serene, beautiful, stone church.

The Wednesday 7:30 PM event starts with a reading (it could be from Rumi, Thoreau, Wayne Dyer, the Bible)

The exquisite lead singer may begin with stunningly beautiful, hypnotic chant.

Sometimes the people in the pews are vibrant and other times quiet and meditative. There are no rules.

Sit close,  share the candle, and chant along with the rapturous singing.

It is truly a night to remember.church

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The Story Behind a Door

Date Watchers keep an eye out for sweethearts

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe Date Watchers is a local, dynamic, new group. Look out.

They get together once a week at the Champagne Bakery and weigh in on dating.

They discuss dating decorum and delusions as well as romance rites and wrongs. Lofty subjects include: how many calories in a sweet nothing? Are there twice as many calories in a double entendre? Who pays on the second date? Is it polite to refer a date, who didn’t quite work, out to a friend? Do you tweet, text or talk?

Talking in Code

The sumptuous atmosphere of the bakery has inspired a shorthand to describe Dating: bombes, trifles and the much sought after, angel food.           A ‘Napoleon’ is someone who is sweet, yet has shortcomings; a ‘Sponge Cake’, is one who tries to borrow money, a ‘Pound Cake’ is someone who is dull and heavy. A person who is a  Soufflé has no substance. Crullers and duffs and fools are not in their sweet dating repertoire.

Required reading this month is Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You” a hard hitting, no nonsense book they regard as their ‘Bible’, As far as Role models, the group subscribes to the sage observations of Mother Teresa. And, naturally, Mae West.

Mother Teresa said: “f we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
Mae West said: “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” Date Watchers appear default to  a more ‘West-ern’ philosophy.

Sweetsge570Rise to the Occasion

There are about a dozen women, at any given meeting, and it appears they fall into three distinct categories. Roughly one half of the women have put their big toe into the Internet dating pool. They report they are happy with just a short, sweet introduction and others have dived into the deep end: hearts first. They are the true storytellers. The third faction is made up of true date “watchers” and they say they live vicariously through our stories – their daring dating sisters.

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Next week, four of the women have agreed to do Canon Balls into the deep end of the sparkling dating pool and sign up on Match.com

 “It is better to be looked over than overlooked” Mae West

The ladies  don’t have CCR’s – however, they have a dating code of ethics based on the Golden Rule.

Some of their beliefs are predicated on the philosophy of Socrates and Camus: happiness is fleeting kind of an idea. Meanwhile, the Date Watchers sit amidst glass cases filled with divinity and ambrosia and debate the choice of upside down cake versus wedding cake.  How sweet it is.

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How to successfully quit a dating site

Stop! Online Dating – want to escape? Leave no trace….

Suddenly Single... Minded

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Geoff, the Stanford bachelor, 59, thought it would be clever to select a Tarzan moniker for his online dating profile name.

His first foray into online dating was on the free site, Plenty of Fish. He trawled around for two months exchanging e-mails, scanning photos and profiles while seeking another dancer in San Mateo who was spiritual and open to a polyamorous setup. After 20 dead-end coffee dates, he quit the site and enrolled on Match.com.

One day, he self-Googled (Do this today) his old dating nickname and saw Plenty of Fish had posted his old profile for the world to see. Later, he found out that Match.com and AOL-love shared dating profiles on their sites.  A little more investigation, he found out that his profile on Match is owned by the giant IAC who owns Chemistry.com, OkCupid, Ourtime.com, DemocraticPeopleMeet, Republican People Meet, and a 25  other dating…

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The BoomBoom Generation – does anyone remember the music?

 

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We are the BoomBoom Generation: the stuff of Pulitzer Prize books by David Halberstam  and Tom Brokow.

We are easily defined by the music we listened to on our transistor radios and stereos. We bought records by Aretha, Marvin Gaye, Credence, Four Tops, Temptations, Animals, Airplane, Beach Boys, Beatles, Dylan, Donovan, Doors, Stones, Who, Jimmy Hendrix, the Dead, Pete Seeger, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and Peter Paul and Mary and the Four Seasons. We loved the Eagles, Elvis, BeeGees, Boston, Queen and Don McLean

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We lived through the Summer of Love and wore flowers in our hair and puka shells around our necks. We imagined we were ‘Born to be wild’ and “Appointment TV”  was watching American Bandstand every day after school. What did “I would give it a 10, but I can’t dance to it” really mean.”? Dick Clark  was the man who brought heart throbs like Paul Anka, Bobby Darin, Fabian, Jim Croce, The Byrds to us. Chubby Checker twisted, Diana Ross grooved, Patsy Cline, the Four Tops  all appeared in our living rooms.

Many of us learned the “Twist”, the “Mashed Potatoes” and the “Hitchhiker” while watching American Bandstand.

The languid 1950’s ushered in the advent of national television, while Holiday Inns and McDonalds were mushrooming up nation wide. We were learning about Cuba, Castro, Sputnik, the H-Bomb, Elvis, and something called, “the Pill”. The 1960’s were another story.

“Without music, life would be an error.”    Friedrich Nietzsche

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Tomorrow: Does anyone remeber the laughter?

From Ms Dee Vorst in the City

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Q.Why is Divorce so expensive?

A. Because it is so worth it.

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What works best? Wisdom, patience, grace and aplomb?

Or an all out effort to Win the Divorce Debacle?

Huxley was right: It’s a Brave New World.

Post Divorce: It’s a sharp Jack-knife into the Internet Dating pool – come on in – the water’s fine!

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In the City – we don’t like Cavs or Calves…

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We love The “Golden Gate” Warriors

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Caution! Too much, too soon, too fast: dating a widow

Caution! Dating a Widow and be deadly….

Suddenly Single... Minded

(Today’s letters from readers: Cautionary tales: The problem with widows)

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The Candy Store Mentality of Dating

Dear Page,

Just as I was about to quit Match.com, a hearty and hale man from San Francisco contacted me. While he was much older than I am, his picture was okay, his profile was well written, and his interests matched some of mine.   There was just one glaring red flag: he was a recent widow.

Throwing caution to the wind, I responded to his e-mail.

We seem to get along, agreed to speak on the phone and met for coffee.  I fell hook, line, and sinker for this guy. I’ve met a parade of losers on Match. He was different. Turns out, his wife died- after a lengthy illness—a month earlier

I know, Page, you say to stay clear of singles that are still “in mourning.” Well, as it turns out this guy…

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Quitting the dating game, already? You just got here…

plane__20090723Still flying solo?

Are you sick and tired of being Suddenly Single, 50-something and still alone?

Have you been dabbling in the dating scene and feeling like a dud?

“Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties?         Are you unpopular?”

The answer to all your dating problems: Is try, try again.

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Perhaps you have already played around, flirted a bit, exchanged a few bon mots… on Match.com, OurTime, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, JDate,  or maybe even Craigslist.

Who hasn’t?

Okay, so maybe you haven’t…many have.

Thousands of  daters have the generic “Free” account on Plenty of Fish and also pay the big bucks to wander around eHarmony.

Binkie, Truth be told: dating online is a numbers game.

Remember, it’s not a bad thing to try a variety of dating sites. Your motto for 2016 should be “Try new activities; Say “Yes,” more often and go outside and play.

Just like the song: Shop Around

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“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”  

Louis E. Boone

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Lonely and looking; a companion – movies, walks, dine around

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All the lonely people – where do they all come from?

Fran ( 46, grade school teacher, hiker and biker) of San Francisco is sick and tired of the hide and seek games on Match.com  She reports that she  sends a note of interest to a guy who looks ‘attractive’ and, bam! He doesn’t respond or disappears. She is ready to quit the site. Again.

Mike H. (68, close to retirement, trivia and Chess whiz) is divorced again and lonely. He wants to meet a ‘friend’ – no fuss, no muss, Dutch Treat. He would love to  go to Banging Drum in San Rafael for Trivia night with a buddy. He can’t seem to ‘make new friends’ and would never look online for a friend. He is simply stumped.

Dion is 42 and bummed. He laments that no one says, “Good morning.” He lives in an Embarcadero high-rise – in a petite condo for a grand price. He thinks everyone in the building is either shy or a snob. Mrs Hannigan, on the 21st floor, is the one cheery, vivacious person he sees around the building. Albert thought about wearing a T-shirt that says, “Hi! How are you?” He misses talking to his neighbors. He chats up all the baristas’, butchers, bakers, checkout clerks – in every store. He smiles at strangers. He wants to build and  re-build relationships. He was popular in Rockridge and thought living in San Francisco would be much more social. Do you?

How many people do you talk to every day? Shy or Snob?

What are you willing to do meet other singles in San Francisco?

 

Tell me: page.larkin@gmail.com

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Rebuild

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