Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Dating Games people play – Risk or Trivial Pursuit?



Looking for love in all the wrong sites…

Mike, 48, newly divorced, and Nancy, 40-something, met on his first day on Match.com.   His dating profile was posted for less than one hour before she contacted him.  Intrigued by her write up and photos, he replied, they spoke on the phone, met for a drink that night and were inseparable for 18 months. It happens.

Sorry

Then Mike decided to break up with Nancy. She wanted the ring, the white dress, the white picket fence and a new puppy for their new married lifestyle. She had extravagant ideas about redecorating his home, landscaping, and painting each room a special shade of moss green. They agreed her petite condo in the Marina was claustrophobic so, incrementally, she had moved half her wardrobe, her bike, blender, espresso-maker and drawers of cosmetics to his house.

He wasn’t 100% sure that he and Nancy were meant to be “lifers.”  Their long weekends and the mini-vacations to Aspen, Santa Fe, and New Orleans had met all of his needs. In time, he pulled away – travelling more for work and thinking seriously about “getting single again.”

Twister

After the inevitable, dramatic, breakup, he decided to try EHarmony. He soon met a number of women who shared his passion for the San Francisco opera, the symphony, jazz clubs and sushi.

At one point, he created a spreadsheet to keep track of the six women he was seeing.  He had a habit of going to the same three restaurants (Absinthe, La Folie and Perbacco) with all of this dates and decided it might be wise to expand his boundaries.

Trivial Pursuit

 He’d seen the movie, Blue Jasmine twice, had been to the new jazz club six times, and to the opera and symphony and decided to keep clean and concise Dating Records.   Two of the women he was seeing, Annie and Bonita, seemed to be “multi-daters” like him.  They both alluded to the fact they have been dating quite a bit since their respective divorces. Did they have spread sheets? Never mind, he did and it really helped keeping names and addresses straight.

Helene from Sausalito, flirtatious and bold, admitted to him that, post-divorce, her first stop was to 450 Sutter Street to a renowned plastic surgeon for  “the works.” Mike was too much of a gentleman to ask what she had done. However, he did notice there were no old photographs of her anywhere in her condo. After two month and many dates, Helene gracefully told him she just wanted to be “friends” and she cut him loose.

Another woman, Connie the broker from St Francis Wood stood him up on their date at Gary Danko. No text, no email, no call. No thanks.

Twixt

After eight months of serial dating and wooing, Mike grew tired of the chase.

He decided to call Nancy and see if she was willing to meet – perhaps pick up where they left off – with certain stipulations and caveats (no wedding bells to be included in the deal.)

Nancy answered on the first ring and gushed the exciting news that she was getting married in two weeks and then honeymooning in Bali with the love of her life, Charles! She wished him luck and good-bye and quickly returned to her wedding cake testing.

CLUE

The phone call with Nancy lasted less than two minutes and it took hours for him to process the news – her upcoming marriage – his loss – what had gone wrong – what were her issues? Did he have any issues? Certainly not –he was a perfect date, a perfect gentleman, and a successful businessman with top-drawer credentials. His first marriage lasted five years – it was most certainly her fault. She was demanding.

Mike decided he might try a new path and sign up for Chemistry.com  They claimed “their matches were carefully selected to have the potential to ignite some real chemistry in your life. Chemistry! His favorite game growing up…

Why not give it a try?

Games lubricate the body and the mind.       Benjamin Franklin

 

Do you have a really bad  “The Worst First Date?” nightmare or fiasco? Tell me about it.

Page.Larkin@gmail.com-

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Flirt first, talk later: Flirters Anonymous Invade SF


Their Motto: Flirt First, Talk Later

Twelve women gathered at the St. Francis Hotel lobby bar – the Clock Bar– at 4 PM for  a refresher course in Flirting and Fun. The women were graduates of Larkin’s “Flirt First, Talk Later” course in June.

The group had been entertained and instructed in The Power of Flirting. Each was well practiced in the basic flirting rules of engagement: smiling, eye contact, being approachable and initiating conversation. The woman knew the subtle effects of playing with her hair and jewelry; and all well aware of the impact of delicate and more pronounced forms of Flirtation 101.

Caps and Evening Gowns?

The downtown event was the much-anticipated Graduation Exercise. The coterie enjoyed one French 75, 30 minutes of show and tell, a review, and much laughter. The women were ready to cover Union Square. The self-proclaimed, ‘Darling Dozen’ were divided into groups of three and were given a list of  activities. The list resembled a Scavenger Hunt.

First, each team had to visit one Union Square vicinity pub and ask the bartender for “The best drink of the day” recipe and to be photographed with the bartender. Next, each woman was to introduce herself to one single male; procure his business card; and practice three flirting techniques.

They were on a quest to locate the following items:

  • A department store sample of men’s cologne
  • One swizzle stick
  • One hotel brochure
  • Eight business cards from eight different men
  • One flower from a Union Square flower cart
  • One map of downtown San Francisco
  • A photo of each woman with six single, age appropriate, men
  • One single, spontaneous, man who lived within 40 miles of San Francisco

They were given two hours to complete their list and each had a cell phone camera.

Round Two – Rasputin

Team One was told to start at Rasputin Records and stand in the Jazz Music section. Each woman was to engage two men in conversation (i.e. Have you seen Keith Jarrett in person? Where is Dave Brubeck? Which CD is your favorite? Are you a big jazz fan? Are you single?) The other groups were given similar directives and were directed to the men’s department or the food court at Macy’s,  Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom.

L.A.L.A.S Flirting Cards
Each woman was a given a dozen Flirting Cards.

The special LALAS FlirtingCard indicated she was part of the LALAS Flirting Coterie- on a Scavenger Hunt requiring her to speak to an attractive single male. During each conversation, the woman had to decide if she wanted to share her phone number or dating-only-Gmail- address (special Gmail account used solely for online dating and LALAS correspondence.)

After 90 minutes, the goal was to locate and interview one gentleman and to invite him to the Union Square hot spot: Mortons’s to the informal gathering and celebration. Twelve women found 11 men who were spontaneous, available and willing to meet the Flirting Coterie.

Two hours later

The Darling Dozen returned to the bar  with men who were good sports and spontaneous and willing to meet 12 single women. The Flirting Coterie, with 11 new friends, enjoyed two hours of laughter and libation. All in attendance were converts to the active flirting movement. How about you? Want to sign up?

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — .
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Do Fake Online Dating Profiles Really Work? You Bet!

 

After a dry spell on EHarmony…

Mike hired a professional/ghost writer to enhance his online dating profile. They talked for 60 minutes – “Ms. Pennywhistle” took copious notes, and two days later, came back with the new and improved Michael 101.

He debated about keeping his profession as an MD out of the picture. She strongly urged him to front-load his profile with allusions to his career. She insisted the word “Doctor” was a chick magnet.  There is no real way to disguise the fact you are a doctor/Veternarian or a lawyer or an Indian chief – unless you are very discreet or delete the fact. Ms Pennywhistle insisted discreet had no place in a dating profile. The goal was to “Dazzle and Date a lot.”

Nom de plume?

She also encouraged him to insert a passion for reading all things Jane Austen. Next, she changed his online name to “Mr Darcy” and, voila! his “ratings” went up. Way up. A few well placed facts and some “true fiction” can really attract. Mr Darcy was encouraged to put  his salary at $150,000. Again, he was told this was a red hot  “Chick magnet.” Keywords like Tesla, ski cabin, Buff, were plugged in.

Every week – de ja vu
Mike gets a ton of winks, emails, and canned greetings from women all over the country. Who knows if it is his picture, or his winning personality, Or his very creative ghost writer’s finesse in creating an online “Star.” Suddnely, he was beseiged with…fake photos.


In the beginning...Michael, aka Mr Darcy, was loving the floods  of attention from some very attractive women. Week by week, he grew bored by the boatloads of e-mails. Fake Photos

And,  Women from the A-States (Alabama, Arizona, Alaska, and Arkansas) found him very attractive. He noted he was not willing to travel more that 50 miles from his home in Mountain View. Hello.

He had a penchant for petite and voluptuous blondes. He first-dated a lot of “cute blondes,” and eventually grew bored by the whole scene.

In a burst of Sense and Sensibility- Mike dropped off the dating scene. No amount of Persuasion will get him back in the swim of things…for awhile.

He is reading Sports Illustrated,  Men’s Life and Cosmopolitan. He will never read Jane Austen.

Matchmaker, matchmaker! Tell me the truth?

Beware The Fake Matchmakers

Suddenly Single... Minded

5rhl-ksrydq-dino-reichmuth-2Once upon a time, in that quaint little village nestled in the mountains,

one had to consult with a Matchmaker to score a date and a mate.

Mae West once said, “A hard man is good to find.”

Aeons ago, any man was good to find. Today, we have a plethora of possibilities:  the Top Ten Online Dating companies  (Note: most are owned by the same company)

However, there are a passel of so-called Matchmakers lurking in the shadows- seeking out Mr Lonely and Just Widowed –

aka ripe for the picking.

bad photos12A quick look at Yelp reviews for so-called Matchmakers/Sonoma/Sacramento/San Francisco divulges very sad stories.

“I naively went through the TEN coaching sessions paying close to $2000, and then she did NOTHING. Once, I was allowed  to “enter her inner dating circle”.  She basically took the money and ran!  I reached out twice very politely asking what was going on, and both times I got a run around…

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Page Larkin’s Best of San Francisco

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Here Are My 2019 Best of San Francisco Tips, Scoops, Ideas, 
idee fixe

Zap it, map it, print it, share it, keep it in your glove-box and use these “Best of San Francisco” scoops, tips and ideas- Enjoy the ride.

Best French Restaurant: La Folie

2316 Polk Street San Francisco, CA 94109 (415)-776-5577

Best Yoga/Massage: The Mindful Body

2876 California St San Francisco, CA 94115 (415) 931-2639

Best Candy, Sweets and Treats: The Candy Store

1507 Vallejo Street San Francisco, CA 94100

Best Saturday Night Date Blues shows on Union Square: Biscuit and Blues- seek out Earl Thomas- Last Saturday of the month.

Best Bookstore: Green Apple Books

506 Clement Street San Francisco, CA 94118 (415) 387-2272

Best Toy Store/Adult: Good Vibrations

603 Valencia Street San Francisco, CA 94110 (415) 522-5460

Best Need a Make-over? Best Hair Salon: Jackson Place Salon with Liz

633 Battery St San Francisco, CA 94111 (415) 399-1044

Best Pie and Coffee Date Place: 2316

1240 9th Ave San Francisco, CA 94122 (415) 665-9912

Best World’s Fair Calibre Palace Date Place: The Palace of Fine Arts

3301 Lyon Street San Francisco, CA 94123 415) 563-6504

Best Sell Your Gold: San Francisco Gold Buyer

255 West Portal Ave San Francisco, CA 94127 (415) 566-1111

Best Walgreens in the City: Franklin Street at Post St

1301 Franklin St San Francisco, CA 94107 (415) 775-6706

Best Knife Sharpener in the City: Galen at Town Cutler

1005 Bush St San Francisco, CA 94109 (415) 359-1519

Best Need Furniture for New Nest? Best Consignment Store: Design Plus

333 Folsom at Eighth, San Francisco, CA

Best Tenderloin Dive Bar: The Ha-Ra Club

875 Geary St, San Francisco, CA 94101

Best -All the rage- Bakery b Patissiere

2821 California Street, San Francisco, CA 94118 (415 440-1700)

Best Wedding Photographer: Christopher Briscoe

287 4th St Ashland, Oregon 97520 (541) 488-2005 (Simply too cool not to mention)

Best Moving in Together? Best Moving and Storage: Cunningham Movers

1250 Van Dyke Ave San Francisco, CA 94124 (415) 854-0524

Best Volvo Repair Auto 280

1315 Ocean Ave San Francisco, CA 94112 (415) 333-8622

Best Couples Massage and Facials: Chez Shivy

350 Lawton St San Francisco, CA 94122 (415) 566-8316

Best Chain Bakery owned by Starbucks: La Boulange – (multiple Bay Area locations)

Best Great Date with Pomme frites, French 75’s and Oysters ‘on the half’: Absinthe

398 Hayes Street San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 551-1590

Here and now is the time to play in San Francisco. Remember, play is not a luxury – it is a necessity.

Say, ‘Yes!’ to every single invitation, and to go outside and play.

Stop! Don’t Text Me Again


The Girls Have Spoken.

The Date Watchers – a voluble and  opinionated group of nine suddenly single women of an age… all agree on one thing: Texting is terse and can easily be misconstrued.

They prefer to hear “his voice” on the other end of the phone. Sure, texting is fun, flirty and easy. Charmaine says some of her best conversations have been text messages…

Patsy disagrees- she loves to hear a man’s voice- instead of reading his way too succincttext messages.  K?   (Can you spell OKAY?)

Three of the women all think- if you’re not going to send me a birthday card,  a Valentine’s Day card, a Christmas card, an Easter card then!  have the decency to pick up the phone and give me a call…Phones Ring. Girls like rings..ringgg“Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Talk talk talk instead of type type type 

Are you Dating at 50? Top 10 Rules?

They’re all Neanderthals




Top 10 Dating  at 50 Rules

 (‘Life is Short and I Won’t Settle’ List)

1. I won’t sit by the phone or the computer waiting for a man to reach out. I will be proactive and flirt – early and often.

2. I won’t respond to a man who sends me a photo of him hiding and enshrouded in a hat and sunglasses.

3. I won’t be impressed with anyone who sends a canned greeting (Hello, Angel, does God know you left heaven?)

4. I won’t meet anyone for a date in a parking lot, a bowling alley, or the Indy 500.

5. I won’t kiss and tell, but I might kiss again. And, again.

6. I won’t hesitate to quit relationships with passive /aggressives, those who drink more than their fair share, and who flood me with texts – from my life.

7. I won’t waste time with people who see the glass as chipped, broken or empty.

8. I won’t miss the opportunity for a hug or a kiss. Holding hands is a priority.

9. I won’t wear Crocs, Uggs, Sweats, fanny-packs, Lanz nighties, shoulder pads, granny glasses or acid wash jeans. And, I won’t date a guy with a proclivity for all of the above.

10. I won’t let anyone rain on my parade. Life is a cabaret.

I will sing and dance like my hair is on fire.

This is your brain on Match: Week #1


Kid-4

The first week on Match.com is totally intoxicating.

On your mark, get set, Go!

You spent time and money to get in the game. You posted some cool photos of your good-looking self. You read three dozen other profiles to see what the competition is writing. You spent hours penning answers to a ton of questions. (Match is not as daunting as the “Famed 400+ Eharmony inane questions.)

After a round of spell-check and a few re-reads/re-writes – you pull the trigger and wait for the party to begin.

One must sort though dozens of photos

You said you want to date someone in the Bay Area and the boys from the A-States (Arizona, Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas)  are sending you winks, blinks, notes and flirts. Totally Geographically Undesirable.

In time,  you get pretty good at sending out “Intro’s” and waiting for responses.

You exchange emails – chat on the phone, text a tiny bit, and meet with a few people for coffee. With some there is chemistry – and others – not a match!coffee-690453__180

How long can you “coffee date?” For months or for years? It is your call.

This is your brain on Match after two years:

Take a break – take a breather – try another online dating site – and remain optimistic. There are so many Happily Every After Match.com Stories out there…keep your eyes and your heart open.

LOVE 27  Romance Happens.

Just a little advice…married men

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

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Dear Binkie,

Yes, you are madly in love with the most handsome, sexy man. Sometimes, he treats you to lovely dinners at quiet, intimate restaurants – or he picks up a couple bottles of wine and appetizers and you “Stay In.”

You said he isn’t available on weekends. You thought you noticed a tan line on his left -ring finger.

He says he is so busy at work – not to call – just text.

Good for you, you googled him – however, his name is so “beige” ( like John Smith) you struck out.

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You do the math. I think you already know, Mr Busy, Unavailable, Ring Finger Tan is married.

You know the mantra: Be Good to Yourself – Ditch the Dude.

The Best is yet to come.

Love,

Your pal in Myammy

Let it GoVice

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All the Single Girls on Valentines Day






All the single girls!

On Valentine’s Day, all the single girls celebrate life, wear red, send Valentines cards and wishes to pals, friends, beaus, wanna be beaus, and embrace all that is well in their world.

Jennifer broke up with Michael on February 10th. Her roommate said, “Oh, no! Now you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day!”

Jennifer replied, “I would rather spend the day alone than spend one more minute with that jerk. He was the most immature, self-centered, handsome, rich, loser I’ve ever dated. I am totally ready to meet somebody new!”

When asked what she was doing on February 14,Georgia replied she was going to her favorite yoga class,  then going out for Chai and Chat with a bunch of her friends from class. She was happy.

Lynne has very hot, red boots that she dons every “Feb 1-4.”And she wears a short black skirt over silky red blouse, just because. She loves chocolate, flowers, Valentines, and shares all of the above with friends and close office mates. She organizes the “Feb 1-4 Cocktails” after-work gathering every year. Everyone must wear red.

Kimi, on the other hand,single again and perpetually on the prowl, professes Happy Hour on Valentine’s Day is the best day to score free kisses. Unfortunately, years ago, she was cute and boys liked her…divorces and time can take a toll. A 20- something asking for a kiss versus a 40-something asking for a kiss is light-years apart. Cougar is a good descriptor. Poor Kimi.

Gayle (39 again)opines that all the good ones are taken and there are no good men.Frankly, she’d rather binge on The Last Kingdom on Netflix with her two good friends: Ben and Jerry.

Anne met Ted in an elevatorand they chatted for 50 floors and spontaneously agreed to have a drink. They clicked. She loved the whole, tall, dark, handsome thing with the great suit that he had going on. Bonus: no wedding ring. He found her very alluring and available. Well into their third drink, he admitted that he had a wife at home. Things were not that great. Their marriage was rocky. He said he was unhappy.

She backed off prontito.

As he walked her to her car, they held hands, he kissed her good night. Several times. She couldn’t help herself: she was smitten. Devil may care.

The story goes-he called her two weeks later-they met for drinks on Nob Hill just to talk. One thing led to another and they have had infrequent trysts for two years. She waits for his calls.

Anne’s new therapist told her she was wasting time and sexy energy on a dead-end-dude. All the time she was waiting by the phone, she could be madly in love / lust with a single, available man with no strings and a lot of integrity. It was a lightbulb moment. Anne’s friend had criticized her and advised her. It all fell on deaf ears. That one appointment was a turning point. Anne dropped Ted like a ton of bricks.

Yes, she admitted to being depressed, alone and lonely. She also felt ready to think about The Real Thing. And was open to meeting her Dream Guy.

Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

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