Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

How to quit that Dating Site?


Thanks to Lisa in Livermore:

“Back away from the mouse…

That was the clever way my therapist told me I wasted too much time pursuing and perusing men on the Internet.
She said the two hours I spent, every day, scouring on-line dating sites could be better spent. And if I removed all the karmic energy I was wasting on not loving myself first, the right man would follow.

And so it goes…

I felt like a reformed alcoholic emptying bottles of booze, one after another, as I clicked away and quit the three Internet dating sites I had subscribed to for six months.

Goodbye to guaranteed to meet a fellow Ivy Leaguer. My ill-fated claim to fame – I didn’t meet one man from Penn State, but did meet one from ( wait for it ) the state pen.

I said ov vey, good-bye and mazel tov to my stable of dead-end flirtations at JDate, the Jewish dating service.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Finally, I disassociated myself with my very favorite site “”
I’d met Paul, Nick, John, Mike 1 and Mike 2 and Chuck on DatesRus.  It had been a veritable gold mine for first dates…a few second dates… and buckets of  first kisses.

However, after the first dates – it was generally a dead end. I’d gotten really good at first dates. I’d honed the necessary skills to appear fascinated and had developed great eye contact.

My friends tease me that I had perfected the affected Nancy Regan stare.

Now, I won’t admit to being addicted to the chase, the flirting,  the bon mots flying, however…I will admit I spent a lot of time looking…and then, looking again.

I sounded like Chauncey Gardener. Bad sign.

And, wouldn’t you know it?

Three weeks after Dating De-Tox and pushing away from the gilded mouse / trap…  I met Tim at the Safeway in Livermore.

Turns out, we both like Ben and Jerry ice cream and we  bumped into one another at the freezer section.  There is no California law against lightly bumping into a man’s grocery cart. The irony being that my first really hot date started at the coolest place.  Avoid the Mouse Trap – get out and flirt like a Chunky Monkey.

In Love, Lisa”

“One should want only one thing

and want it constantly.”    

Andre Gide


Happy Birthday, Golden Gate Bridge

May 27, 1937…The grand opening of the Golden Gate bridge!

Suddenly Single... Minded

May 27, 1937 The Grand Opening
“San Francisco is one of the great cultural plateaus of the world — one of the really urbane communities in the United States — one of the truly cosmopolitan places and for many, many years, it always has had a warm welcome for human beings from all over the world.” –

Duke Ellington




lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12

San Francisco: “A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M.

A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays.

San Francisco is such a city.”

Herb Caen

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How to successfully quit a dating site

Stop! Online Dating – want to escape? Leave no trace….

Suddenly Single... Minded


Geoff, the Stanford bachelor, 59, thought it would be clever to select a Tarzan moniker for his online dating profile name.

His first foray into online dating was on the free site, Plenty of Fish. He trawled around for two months exchanging e-mails, scanning photos and profiles while seeking another dancer in San Mateo who was spiritual and open to a polyamorous setup. After 20 dead-end coffee dates, he quit the site and enrolled on

One day, he self-Googled (Do this today) his old dating nickname and saw Plenty of Fish had posted his old profile for the world to see. Later, he found out that and AOL-love shared dating profiles on their sites.  A little more investigation, he found out that his profile on Match is owned by the giant IAC who owns, OkCupid,, DemocraticPeopleMeet, Republican People Meet, and a 25  other dating…

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She was pretty grumpy and grouchy

 Adam was instantly lightly in love. He was seated at the bar of his favorite neighborhood restaurant when she walked in. He noticed her immediately and couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

She was speaking to the maître d’, smiling and friendly and very pretty and petite. Adam was hoping she’d be meeting girlfriends and not a guy. He ordered a second drink and continue to watch the woman. She was seated at a table for two, asked for the wine list, and a tall bottle of Perrier arrived to the table. 

As she sipped the bubbly water, her phone rang and she spoke to the caller looking at both disappointed and angry. Bad news on the phone, evidently.

Several minutes later, another woman entered restaurant and walked directly over to his new crush.

After big hugs, drinks ordered, water sipped- the women started talking very seriously.  Adam was quite curious about the conversation. He nonchalantly moved to a small table near  the women. He could overhear their comments about “some guy was not going to show up – he had to work late.” This seemed to be good news for Adam.

He gestured for his favorite waitress to come over – gave the waitresses his card and asked her to provide introduction and an offer to buy the ladies cocktails. He sat back and watched as the act unfolded.

The two women giggled, looked around – he waved – they waved and gestured for him join them. Now, Adam is a good-looking, very successful hedge fund-wannabe someday. His crush was receptive, albeit, somewhat leery. The Friend was very dubious about the transaction and less than welcoming  after he tried to dazzle them with his canned opening line. She  had lots of opinions, and stop signs in her body language and conversation. He knew she was a deadend and could be detrimental to any kind of further relationship with his crush of the day.

The Friend- was pretty arrogant and opinionated-  seemed to monopolize the conversation. His crush, Patrice, was cool and taking a back seat.

He decided he could handle this challenge – he indicated he had an Ivy League education.  (Okay, it was a scholarship – and, it was only one year –  but, he could spin a yarn.) Within minutes, The Friend fired three questions at him about the school and he was caught with his lies down. C’est fini.

Not one to fight with lady,  Adam caved, did a “Look at the time!” act and decided to avoid further denigration. As he left, he overheard the evil friend snicker.

Dodged a bullet?  You betcha.





Krystal is looking for a Boy – Friend

Krystal – age unknown-  is looking for the man of her dreams.

She will settle for a mere Boy friend…

She made a List and is checking it thrice…Her Top 12 Must Have Qualities are:

  • MUST BE Available.
  • Able to perform five-star customer service:)
  • Appropriately lift 40 pounds or more on a regular basis….
  • Possess a valid driver’s license.
  • At least 21 years of age… or older.
  • Experience in the Service industry, preferably in the Hospitality industry.
  • Pleasant demeanor and clean appearance.
  • Ability to function under stressful situations and tight time constraints…
  • Able to fluently read, speak and understand English
  • Friendly and outgoing personality
  • Self-motivated, a real team player
  • Required to “play” nights, weekends…
  • Successfully complete a “Background Interview” and Check Up…

Krystal posts her “Ad” on various sites…

(Craigslist ‘kicked her off’ years ago)


Shopping for Chapeaus? The madder, badder hatter wins

Get a hat and get ready for the Kentucky Derby

“Daily Double Shopping for Chapeaus”

Perfecta! Bolt over to the mother of all hat stores, Berkeley Hats, for an exquisite topper – to be worn both for Mother’s Day and for the Kentucky Derby.

Win, Place: Show Off the hat

First and foremost: Get the hat – the bigger, the better. You  will be a fashion Daily Double when you don a new chapeau for the event. Across the board, a Big Hat (Psst…no petite, European, fascinator need apply) is always a winner. This is where you aspire to be a ‘Mad Hatter.”

In 2011,  the  Kentucky Derby was  dubbed the ‘Year of the Women’ –even though there are no women jockeys and no fillies running in the actual race.

Finally, get savvy about the over-the-top Derby fashion, the race history, stats and winning horses’ names. FACT: An inordinate amount of time leads up to the actual race. So, it’s hours of partying, horse talk and betting, in preparation for the fleeting and mercurial race.

alcohol bar black background close up

Bourbon! Cheers! Photo by Prem Pal Singh on

As you sip mint juleps and discuss Daddy Long Legs, Take Charge Indy and Optimizer – Enjoy the longest two-minute race of the year speeds by in Hi-Def.

All dressed up and nowhere to go?  Plan a party! 

(When in San Francisco: Beware the meter maids of the Marina.)

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

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I met the man of my dreams at a Sleep Clinic

Dear Diary,

I met the man of my dreams at the sleep clinic.

I signed up for a five week class on How to Sleep Better, Longer and Happier.        (Alone?)

With some trepidation, I walked into the class not knowing if we were 50 sleep-walking, pill-popping, TV at 2 AM. watchers, somnambulists.

Or would a mere 10 or 20 Sleepyheads attend? When I walked in the room the teacher was talking to a man about 55. Two other men were sitting, waiting, looking tired. It was 7 PM they were obviously non-sleepers.

Both men nodded hello and returned my smile. One by one, six women ranging from 50 to 79 arrived.

It was a Classic Marin snapshot; there was the Save the Whales gal, sans makeup, Keen sandals, wearing an old REI jacket. The second lady was wearing flowing Eileen West pants, good jewelry, a filmy peasant blouse … and there was an Earth mother in Birkenstocks, gray hair in a bun, old jeans and a pastel tie-dye t-shirt. And a bunch of other ladies…

The class started at seven o’clock. The teacher gave a first impression of an absent-minded professor and quickly righted that ship.

She said she knew all the proper behavior modification techniques for improved sleep. Everyone was enrapt. She stated:“In her classes 70% of all attendees have had positive results. And 90% cut off all sleep medications.” Wow!

We were 18 in the class. (Only one couple-she came to support her sleep apnea-problem husband.)

There were five men and 13 women – wedding bands on some right hands; average age around 60.

As we went around the room to introduce ourselves to the class-in no time all elected to call our Class AA: Ambien Anonymous.

It went something like this;  “My name is Ruth, my doctor gave me Ambien five years ago and I love it! Now, they won’t prescribed it for me.” 

My name is Dan, I have not had a good night sleep in 20 years… my new girlfriend gave me in Ambien …so, well, I proposed marriage.

Earth Mother tried Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Sleepytime tea, lavender, yoga, and she wasn’t sleeping.

Everyone had a devastating non-sleep nightmare.

Hank can’t sleep with his toaster-oven-hot wife – Ms. Menopause.

Then, the really cute guy in class “shared.” He had the room in the palm of his hand. He was funny, friendly and looked to be wedding ring free…

 There was no mention of a partner.

And each week, he slept better and was all the more the friendlier. Each week, we chatted at the break….Whale Woman and Eileen West Clothes tried to elbow in…My elbows were sharper.

Each week in class, we reviewed our Sleep Work Book and  were given new Sleep Rules and instructed to religiously keep a Sleep Diary.

Our teacher said: no wine and no chocolate after 6:30 p.m.

We were told to stay up one hour later than usual.

She suggested we take a 30-minute walk after dinner.

I followed every rule she posed and, in a couple weeks – Bingo! I was  sleeping seven to eight hours each night with the help of my little white noise machine, valerian tea, lavender spray on my pillow and my diary.

The best outcome was: Cute Guy took my number and we arranged to meet for lunch. That Sunday, we met and talked and laughed for four hours. He was charming, sweet, single, very smart and a complete gentleman. He was also “cured” from insomnia…I was green with envy. He told me he had some sleep tips.

I was all ears…and available. I like Pillow Talk.

Sweet Dreams,

San Francisco: your dating paradise?

San Francisco has hills! The hills are alive…

Suddenly Single... Minded

guys i datesdSan Francisco – a world class city – is replete with more hills, hotels, and restaurants than any other city.

Don’t Call it Frisco

Since the Gold Rush, hoards of kids have flocked to San Francisco for myriad reasons; jobs, parties, freedom, music, the arts, the Summer of Love, Dot Commmies, a Silicon Vally escape, vacations and getaways.

Timeless and enduring: the City has more fun things to do on a date than any other. 

You will never hear, “There is nothing to do.”


First Dates: Top 15 Great Ideas for a First Date

Ride a cable car half-way to the stars; explore the four glamorous hotels on Nob Hill;  walk the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral; walk over to the other cathedral – St. Mary’s on Geary and Gough;  drop into Japantown for lunch; hop a 38 Geary bus – ride to the Ocean. Explore Land’s End, and climb up to the Palace of Legion…

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One woman mentions Ourtime/Dating app Boom!

Overnight, OURTIME,  the dating app for people over 50  screams successs! Bam!

Well, it wasn’t just any one woman who referred to OurTime as the conduit to meeting her Prince Charming/ Rodney Right… The famous Marin County-based author, Anne Lamott – revered, loved, respected by (men and) women all over the world for her marvelous books ( See: Operating Instructions) and clever observations was highlighted in the Sunday New York Times.

A trip down the Aisle…with the esteemed and witty Father Tom Weston SJ officiating.

If you have been bumbling around Bumble, ….

are not too Tender in the Tinder night ….bored by (again)…

reading that Anne found the love of HER life – online – at OurTime

raises the dating awareness of OurTime.  

Possbibly the hottest online app this week.PicMonkey Image-76

Are you invisible to all single women?

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...


Do you feel invisible – as though you are totally camouflaged – when in the presence of other Singles?

Fact: A disappearing act is not a super power to develop while in Dating 2016. Get noticed!

Here Are Five Hot Tips help you get noticed and ‘liked’ by someone you are interested in as you prepare to Dive Into the Singles Dating Pool:

  1. Be Real – No Faux Photos; On your dating profile: delete that barrage of brags or self-consumed remarks. 
  2. Be Honest – There is no need to (lie) embellish –Remember: ‘The better part of valor is discretion…’
  3. Be  On – If you are going to join a dating site – you will have to be engaged – open and available. Plan on spending time at your computer. Reach out and touch someone.
  4. Be  Aware – Yes, Virginia, there are good guys/gals  and not so great guys/gals online – use…

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