Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

What are men thinking? The brain of the manly man

Are men happier?

It all started when cavemen went on the Annual Mastodon Hunting Trip leaving cave women and cave children behind.


The women put the cave kids to bed early, pulled out the equivalent of Kick-a-poo joy juice, sat around the fire- invented by a woman- grunted and laughed and shared about their husbands who “acted like Neanderthals.”

Fast forward a few eons to a meeting  of  ‘The Salon’  a dozen women, all hovering around  5o, pondering about men: What makes men so happy?

Seriously, is there anything new under the sun about elusive happiness and the basics of the sexes?

Eve did it…Adam did it

From the inception of time, people have mused and metaphor-ed about little boys- frogs, snails and puppy dog tails versus little girls- sugary, spicy and everything nicely organized.

Brainy author, Louann Brizendine tackled the subject in her first book about pretty in pink The Female Brain. It didn’t take a Mensa membership to forecast Brizendine’s next book would be about men and celebrating their cerebellum. Bets were on: would the second book be shorter and less complicated?

About the same time The Male Brain came out, a simple, succinct e-mail about Men and Happiness was circulating world wide.

The illuminating and hysterical piece caught the attention of the members of ‘The Salon’.  They agreed “Why men are happier than women” is brutally honest, very clever and takes two- minutes to read – time for throwing head back and laughing heartily included.

Wn To Know The Secret?

With Men:  It’s all about Number One: Men have one hair style- forever; they have one mood; and one pair of shoes and one wallet goes with every single outfit. Men are happy campers.


Truth be Told

Anyway and Everyday: women simply want to know what men thinking about (answer: Sex). We want to know what men dream about (answer: Sex). We ponder: when it comes to flight or fright what is the limbic system of the cortex of the brain of a man thinking about? (answer: SEX)

Conclusion: Men are happy and women are luckier for it.

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

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Happy Birthday, G-L-O-R-I-A

Happy Birthday Gloria Steinem,

Suddenly Single... Minded

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 Happy Birthday, Gloria Steinem

 and, thank  you!

Gloria Steinem has a birthday celebration on Tuesday.

Called the “Face of Feminism,” she took the flack, the attack, and inspired generations
of girls and women to speak out and stand up and be liberated and be counted.

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Thank you, Gail Collins, New York Times columnist, who wrote “This is what 80 looks like”

Steinem’s website:

“You’ve discovered the new, official website for Gloria Steinem. Like Gloria, we’re hope-aholics. Our hope is that this site will be useful for students, reporters, and anyone else who wants to know more about Gloria’s achievements, writing, or current work.

Gloria is a writer and activist who has been involved in feminist and other social justice movements for over forty years. On this site, you will find a selection of her published articles, links to the organizations she is a part of or recommends…

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Top 10 Tips for the First Date

Hey! You – yes you- New Dater! Read this

Suddenly Single... Minded

SONY DSCWhat to wear? What to say? Where to go?
Here is great advice for enjoying yourself on the big date.
Today, hundreds of couples around San Francisco are meeting for the very first time. Some will meet at Starbucks, others at Golden Gate Park, SOMA, NOPA… Many may be feeling nervous with a facade of calm – hoping their coffee-shop  date or stroll around Stowe Lake or the climbing Mount Sutro date, is going to be a winner. Remember: generally, a good First Date means a Second Great Date.

Here are the Top 10 Best Ways to Have Fun on a First Date

1. Timing is Everything: Arrive on time.
2. Dress up: Flip-flops, cut offs, and a T-shirt? Don’t even think about it. Take the time to dress to impress-casually.
3. Be Prepared: Read their online dating profile again- refresh your memory.
4. Grill Not: Do…

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Where not to break up: San Francisco

Breaking Up is hard to do; Great Advice

Suddenly Single... Minded

golden-gate-bridge-534614__180He broke up with her at the Big Four Restaurant

at the Huntington Hotel – a big mistake.

Beaus and Errors

She knew things were a little rocky – he was a somewhat aloof – and had not returned her texts in a timely fashion. He was frequently busy. However, she had high hopes that they would become a rock solid “couple.” He suggested meeting at the Big Four,  an elegant Nob Hill restaurant. “Yay!” she thought,  “How romantic!”

Little did she know…

She walked into the chi chi,  glamorous, hotel atop Nob Hill. The doorman was cordial with a dash of gallant. The front desk clerks greeted her warmly.

The charming maître d’ escorted to the table where he was seated. He stood up as she approached. She was on cloud nine, thinking what a romantic, chic location for a rendezvous.

He was having tea and there was a…

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The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dates on Match.com

Dilapidated windowAlexa and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Dates

One Woman’s Story- Online Dating Disappoints: We are not a match!

Alexa is 57, divorced, RN, lives in South San Francisco, has a kid in college, is a mild hiker and musical theater devotee. She decided to throw her hat in the ring and sign up with Match.com

Day #1

The dating company sent the first “Batches o’ Perfect Matches.”

  • The first picture was of a guy on a big red tractor in a field. She had nothing in common with him.
  • The second was a photo of man kissing his cat. She loathed cats and worried about a guy posting a photo like that.
  • The third picture was three balding men all standing together a bar. They all looked alike. Who was the candidate?
  • Finally, there was a smattering headshots of men wearing all hiding behind sunglasses and baseball hats.

The last picture she could stand looking at that day was Clive from Palo Alto wearing a lampshade. And the message was: “I am dying to talk to you on the telephone. Please call immediately.” Bizarre.

Just as she was ready to ‘throw in the towel… she received an email from Match.com: Roberto wanted to “Connect.”

The barrage of disappointing matches was followed by this email from Spooky Roberto. (unedited)

Der Sir or Madam.

Pardon to cut you unaware. I had to do this because i m desperate to connect with you and i was thinking if this was right? let me be the criminal of desperation in the court of love… lol….i’m very  fun to be around with… Perhaps that you will have to find out, if you give me the privilege to know you?. I think the this idea is creative lol.

 My name is Terry and i m using colleague profile. 55 years of age, widower, 5.11ft tall, cute, with good sense of humor. Age is a number.

 I live in California, I m not a registered member yet and this not my account and photos. It’s for an old colleague of mine in a conference whom wanted to show me around online dating. I got attracted to your write up, and i think we have some things in common to share  Feel free to contact me to contact me on my email and i will tell you more about me and send you my current pictures.  robertoterry04 @ g m a i l.c o m    looking forward to hear.

 Sent From My iPhone

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Alexa was going to re-think Match.com…it wasn’t looking good.

It could only get better, maybe.

Beware The Scams and Dead Ends

Hey, guys! Don’t do this online: 4 tips

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Dear Ms. Larkin,

I am a 75, healthy, happy, vibrant and energetic single woman. I teach yoga, hike two miles a day and I really like men. I have a bit of advice.

Please Tell Men Over 50: The top four things women don’t want to hear about on a first date:

#1.  Do not review your list of prescription drugs
#2.  Don’t bore me with your list of ailments, illnesses and allergies. And, I Don’t want to hear about any operations.
#3.  Don’t talk about your divorce or colonoscopy; to me, they are the same.
#4.  Do not brag about how handsome, wonderful, rich, sexual you used to be. That ship has sailed.
Thanks! I feel better.

Kalista S. in Sausalito

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Dear Kalista. ,Consider it done! Thank you for the pearls…

Peace and love,

Page

Where are all the single men in SF?



Donde esta los muchachos?

Dear Page Larkin

I went to the movie Friday afternoon and the room was filled with women. No, it wasn’t a chick flick. It was Moonlight Then, I went to a Pinot Noir wine tasting at Whole Foods. We were 75% single women and 25% couples.

Rick’s Wine Bar looks like a sorority party. I just can’t bring myself to attend NASCAR or those cigar bars.

Where are all the boys?  Then, I went to a trendy, cool, church…nope, all gray-haired ladies – pretty much.

On Sunday, like all good American girls, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond  – it was like a wedding shower- the aisles were filled with women, girls, ladies, shopping for linens and things.


Is it me, or is it San Francisco? This is like living in the world of the Amazons.

By mistake, I went to Union Street.  Once upon a time, a long time ago …Really popular Singles Bars used to be the rage. That night,  It was Frat Boy Night packed with 20 to 30-year-old, drunk, Frat boys high-fiving one another and measuring virility/maturity by the number of sake bombs they were throwing back. Next!

Where are the big boys?

Finally, I LYFTED over to Valencia Street- and was inundated with couples going to all the trendy- fabulous-darling restaurants. The Good Vibrations emporium was teeming with women, go figure.

Where did all the single guys go?

From Fresno to Frisco and Frustrated

 

Dear From Fresno to Frisco…

Brava! You have certainly done due diligence and you make keen observations.Remember: A guy has got to eat – linger in the aisles at Safeway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Rainbow  Grocery-you get the idea. Smile. Say “hey.” Frequently.

Many happy women say they met many happy men at the Golden State Warrior and SF Giants games – the perfect recipe for meeting people of the opposite sex: winning teams, sky high excitement, mutual passion for Pence, Posey, Pagan….Curry, Klay….

You’re right, guys are not in bookstores, yoga classes, or cake decorating classes – they should be – that’s where women go.

 

Tip of the day: See Top 10 Places Meet Men 

 

Breakfast

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Steven Wright

 

 

 

Matchmaker, matchmaker! Tell me the truth

5rhl-ksrydq-dino-reichmuth-2Once upon a time, in that quaint, little village nestled in the mountains –

you had to consult with a matchmaker to score a date and a mate.

Mae West once said, “A hard man is good to find.”

Aeons ago, any man was good to find. Today, we have a plethora of possibilities:  the Top Ten Online Dating companies  (Note: most are owned by the same company)

However, there are a passel of so-called Matchmakers lurking in the shadows- seeking out Mr Lonely and Just Widowed –

aka ripe for the picking.

bad photos12A quick look at Yelp reviews for so-called Matchmakers/Sonoma/Sacramento/San Francisco divulges sad stories.

“I naively went through theTEN coaching sessions paying close to $2000, and then she did NOTHING. once I was allowed  to “enter her inner dating circle”.  She basically took the money and ran!  I reached out twice very politely asking what was going on, and both times I got a run around about her life issues and how they were hindering her professional life. Whoa- then give me my $2000 back! … an unbelievable and expensive rip off/ let down.”

“Ms Romance wanted me to go through a 10-session dating coaching/therapy program before she would determine whether she would accept me into her roster of matchable. Ha!”

“This business is a total rip off, they are fake.  Stay away!  My first , in person interview lasted almost three hours at their Santa Rosa office.  I am an attractive , intelligent, senior woman; I was told they had plenty of compatible men to introduce me to. The sales woman asked me many personal questions about my life style.”

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And so, boys and girls – before Handing over the $3,ooo – $6,000 (for men)

Tell all your friends and relatives you are ready to date. Start looking up and around. Start smiling at other people. Look at Meetup.com , Read Johnny FunCheap, join the Sierra Club; sign up for salsa or swing dance lessons; go to San Francisco Giants Games…got off the couch, and out of the house, Today.

Always Research any and all dating companies. Avoid the charlatans parading as experts.75

You are welcome.

A Good Match

Men online: don’t ask these crass questions

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So I walked into the Members Cocktail Party at the MOMA

A man approaches me and says, “Hey. I’m 6’ tall, 185 pounds, spiritual not religious, income: I’ll tell you later. I like NASCAR, a cigar, hot dogs and pizza and boxing. I’ve seen American Sniper three times and I think Lady Gaga is a freak and Kimmel – they guy the Oscars- is a whack job. Can I  buy you a drink? And what are you tipping the scales at, Tiny?

Next!

I climb the stairs to the American Pop Collection  and another man sidles up  and says, “I’m average height, average build, love to snuggle and to shop at Victoria’s Secret.” (What? A cross-dresser?) He continues, “I live in Santa Rosa and I won’t drive more than 10 miles to meet the woman of my dreams -who, by the way, is ‘Barbie.’ How old are you?”

Buh-Bye!

Some fancy dance work and a quick escape right, to the Interactive Architecture and another man advances and says, “Hello, beautiful! Let’s skip the small talk: I’m Scorpio, very lonely, never married, no kids, live alone; I have a very, very, big, bike. Can I take you for a ride? I dig the White Housee Twins: Sean and Steve” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” is on my bedside table. Want to read it together? What’s your income?”

Hasta la vista, baby!

Deftly, I exit down the hall, a quick left turn to see the Diane Arbus. Luckily, I happened upon ‘Mr. Santa Clara.’ He is my height, my age, big smile and twinkling eyes – introduces himself and says his interested in talking and eliminating the mindless chatter about astrology and pets – if that was okay. And then he said, “Your picture doesn’t do you justice.” (A.k.a. The six sexiest words on Match.com)

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He proceeded to ask me questions about me and my life and he listened.

We talked and walked right into the American Pop  and later found ourselves in front of  a Warhol and a Lichtenstein.  We continued – walked, talked and ended up standing in front of the spectacular new Liz Fracchia painting.

The museum was about to close…and the party was not over.

We have been together every day since.

photo_1186_20060227ace hearts

What’s your story? Tell me your dating story: page.larkin@gmail.com

The demand to be loved?

Love Sweet Love

“Hug me, kiss me, love me!”

“The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.” Nietzsche

Molly the Millennial whined it was “hard” dating and then being in a relationship. She said it was “hard to share and to be around someone all day and all night long.”

Listen up, Babycakes – you are not ready for a big girl relationship.

Long-term relationships are sublime and wonderful. Having a partner – a playmate- a sounding board – a companion, a lover and a best friend to share the Joy! the fun, challenges and ups and downs all day and all night, is the best.

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Having someone to hold hands with is one of the best things ever. Walking across Fifth Avenue, Champs Elysees, the PCH, the Golden Gate Bridge or into a wedding, a funeral or party and having a loving partner is not only reassuring, calming, gratifying- it is  exciting.

Yes, Binky, you might have to share a closet, a bed, a bathroom and your deepest fears and secrets. Having somebody who thinks you are the best thing since Brioche French toast with butter and real maple syrup is a happy thing.

(Psst! There is really  no need to get into the “getting horizontal” aspect a long term relationship.)

When you’re ready, my little Millennial, you’ll be ready.

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Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love that makes the world go round. Lewis Carroll

 

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