Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Kicked off the train? Take a number…one girl’s story

locomotive-50044__180Kicked off the train?  You Betcha!  Take a number.

Sophomore year-Eileen invited five best friends from the dorm to her home for an overnight.

After dinner and a few glasses of Mateus and Lancers and dancing and laughing we settled into our sleeping bags -strewn on the living room floor. Per usual, we regaled one another with funny stories. Whispers and giggles turned into guffaws. We were, as a rule, very funny girls with keen, self-purported, storytelling prowess.

The first time her father came down the stairs to ask us to be a little quiet was midnight. We whispered sincere apologies. And softly, then, not so softly, went back to our ribald stories and jokes. Think: small volcanoes of laughter erupting.

Her father had to come downstairs one more time however, we heard him coming- and instantly turned into mummies. More giggles ensued. For some reason, we were not invited back.

Later that year…

At Bob’s Big Boy’s Restaurant, across from campus, we  sat down to a healthy snack of Diet Cokes and mountains of French fries dipped in a small lake of ketchup. We often amused one another with stories about boys, classes, kissing, homework, dating, and boys. The only chemistry we were interested in took place on a date – not a laboratory.

We all could ‘tell a story,’ albeit with a modicum of enhancement and a ton of hyperbole. We often “howled with laughter.” We were 20. And funny. At one point, the manager came over and asked us to be quiet. In a cup clattering, baby crying, fry cook yelling, waiter dropping stuff Bob’s Big Boy we were asked to be quiet?

After graduation, the 10 of us-Mostly English majors flocked together for parties and picnics and weddings and movies and marriages. With age came more wit and better stories.

We had stories…

Many of us were blessed to be Irish and had the clever, witty, storytelling gene. The Italian girls had the same gene and were louder and talked with her hands.

Note: we were polite, gracious. And audible.

There were a few restaurants where quiet couples nibbled on quiche and sipped a glass of white wine and glared at the 10 of us laughing, toasting one another’s good fortune. We always left restaurants sighing, exhausted and elated. We always greatly over-tipped the waitress.

Meanwhile, at the St Francis Hotel
One of the girls got a job at St. Francis Hotel on Union Square. A fledgling restaurant was beating the bushes for customers and asked the concierge staff to fill the seats of family and friends.

The Mostly English majors – only five could attend – were seated at the center of the room. Eye candy? The five of us laughed about the traffic, parking, I.Magnin’s, Paoli’s, the mimes on Union Square, Henry Africa’s and updates about Grad school, Med school, LSAT scores.drinx

In no time – one Cosmo to the wind, the rumble of laughter commenced. Almost immediately, the maître d’ swept over and asked us if we would like a larger table. We demurred: “No thank you; so kind of think of us; sweet of you; no, thank you.” Five minutes later, four waiters came to our tunnel-of-fun-table and moved our food or drinks and us to a corner table.

All graduates of esteemed Silicon Valley University- knew then and there to ask for a private room each time we gathered together. When a restaurant graciously offers, “That’s not necessary,” we insist, “It is necessary.”

The take away?

We have learned to skip hotels and rent a house for our weekend”retreats”- so that we can roar with laughter, tell our animated and fascinating stories

And not disturb anyone. The world is a happier place.

PicMonkey Collage

No money for your honey? Five tips for cheap dates dates in San Francisco

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12

Are Saison  the French Laundry, Jardinière, Gary Danko,  way out of your Range  and dating  budgetary stratosphere? Feeling a little light in the wallet?

Fear Not:

photo_378_20051108-1The City is alive with myriad great (cost effective) date ideas.

  1. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s romantic, thrilling and free. What’s not to like? Leave your selfie stick at home.
  1. Spend the day at Golden Gate Park Enjoy and explore a long list of ‘see for free’ Check out the Buffalo Paddock, see and try the Fly Casting Pond, next walk to the tulip gardens and the historic Windmill, stroll through the Rose Garden, explore myriad hiking trails, try Lawn Bowling, find love at the tennis courts and dig the Conservatory of Flowers. You might want to check out the Cal Academy   Think: Opera in the Park 

Plan on a picnic, wear warm layers of clothing and spend a little time…and very little money.

3.The Aria AreaSan Francisco Opera for $10 Standing Room Only. There are 200 standing room tickets available for each performance at the War Memorial Opera House at $10 each, cash only.

  1. First Tuesdays – The De Young Museum , SF Museum of Modern Art, Palace of Legion of Honor, are free to the public on First Tuesday of each month. Special exhibition fees, if any, still apply.

5.  San Francisco is famous for walking tours and City Guides conducts outstanding tours which are famous and are ‘free’ The tours are lively tours, full of local color, historical information. A TIP: The guides are open and receptive to your generous donation.

image.php-3Free: Hot tip: remember that  admission is always, your favorite price, Free, at:

photo_1186_20060227ace heartsJoin Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach

  • Dating Workshop: Dating at 50: Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving”
  • in San Francisco: First 
Saturday, October, November and December
  • 10 AM to 1 PM
  • Cost: $150
 Limit: Eight to a class
  • Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (more information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.
  • Enroll at

Prince Charming is already taken…keep looking, Binkie

slumber_party_1024x821From the beginning, Michelle knew exactly the kind of man she wanted to meet, date and marry. She wanted to meet a ‘prince.’ She was raised on a diet of happily ever after, Cinderella, Snow White and fairy-tale princes.

 Still single and 34, she has spent years of research, analysis, dreaming and plotting.

There were psychics in her future

She lighted a candle every morning and whispered a chant- to draw the perfect man into her life. Once a month she burned sage to purify and to attract.

She carried a tiny, pink quartz heart in her purse- guaranteed by a shaman in Mexico to entice her perfect soul mate. He blessed the stone and wished her well.

She wore an Elsa Peretti silver heart necklace. A clairvoyant on Maui sold her a True Love talisman: a gold ring with a spray of embossed stars.

Every New Years, she created a vision board replete with multiple pictures of ‘Her Special Man.” She carefully selected magazine pictures of where they would travel and what they would wear; she knew the exact Tiffany ring he would buy her and dreamt about the simple, cream-colored, Shantung wedding dress; she changed her mind about the flowers for the wedding every few years. She is in the white Peony stage, this year.

She knew what she wanted

Michelle was currently very certain about the glam condo where they would live. She knew lofts were the most recent rage. Years earlier, she was into ‘cute cottages.” She chose the eclectic- yet-elegant- 12 place settings – China from Gump’s, the Waterford crystal glassware and the perfect Georg Jensen Acorn pattern silver.

She threw Tarot cards. She took all of her very spiritual and secretive rituals seriously.

Michelle is the CFO of a burgeoning Silicon Valley company. Her “cred” would evaporate if people knew the True Love Romance Seeker side of her.

She will admit, as the years went by, she was more willing to compromise. Her “Must Have” lists – once pages of character traits, income, GPA, education, background has dwindled to a “Top 25 Traits.”

She tried and was generally put off by the whole scene until one day a man reached out and flattered her. He liked her photo and her comment about Andy Goldsworthy at the Presidio. One thing led to another – emails, phone calls, a walk in the Presidio and bam!

Michelle went from “My Man Must Have” to totally smitten by a non-Ivy Leaguer, gentleman who found her “most attractive, smart and fun.”

He could sing, was a great dancer, could create organic gourmet meals, build furniture and was very kind. And, sexy. She took him to a work-related event and he easily charmed many of her co-workers.

One very blissful and fulfilled year later, they eloped and have been happily ever after.

Okay, so maybe Michelle didn’t live in Camelot. She lived and fell in love in Campbell. And, so it goes.



Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly.  Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.   Mark Twain

Dating in 2015: dream or nightmare?


Throw Back Thursday? Read this:

Originally posted on Suddenly Single... Minded:

guys i datesd
So I walked into the cocktail party at the DeYoung Museum

A man comes up to me and says, “ I’m 6’ tall, 185 pounds, spiritual not religious, income: I’ll tell you later. I like NASCAR, a cigar, hot dogs and pizza and boxing. I’ve seen American Sniper three times and I think Lady Gaga is a freak and that Arquette woman on the Oscars is a whack job. May buy you a drink? And what are you tipping the scales at, Tiny?


I climb the stairs to the African Mask Collection and a man approaches and says, “I’m average height, average build, love to snuggle and to shop at Victoria’s Secret.” (What? A cross-dresser?) He continues, “I live in Santa Rosa and I won’t drive more than 10 miles to meet the woman of my dreams -who, by the way, is ‘Barbie.’ How old are you?”


Some fancy…

View original 228 more words

Letters to Page Larkin: trouble in paradise: soul mates, playmates, old dates

fireworks-365011__180 Today’s mailbag brings in a potpourri of problems, challenges and celebrations

Dear Page Larkin

I am suddenly-single, 57, and  have been dating the love of my life for five months. My twin sister just met him and “liked him” and said he was “great but not my soul mate.” I am crushed.

Debbie Downer

Dear Debbie Downer,

Your sister doesn’t get to vote. And, congratulations to you for finding your date for life-soul mate! Enjoy every minute of every day.

Page Larkin

Hey, Ms. Larkin.

An old boyfriend called from out of the blue and asked me out. I have no interest, whatsoever. And, I’m in a rock solid, romantic relationship with a wonderful man. Do I tell my new beau?

See through truth

Hey, See through truth,

As always, honesty is the best policy and in this case, succinct is better than T.M.I. Since he called, tell your Ex that you are in a great, new relationship and don’t have any interest in getting together. C’est fini.

Happy news: I am delighted to hear you are in a romantic relationship! Brava!


Page Larkin

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

Dear Page,

I am a big fan and read everything you write! I’ve got a problem- (its hard being 60 in single in Montana.) I am a fishing guide and many of my clients are couples and often the wife hits on me. What should I do?

Hooked in Helena

Dear Hooked in Helena,

Thank you! Do not catch and release. Keep your professional distance and keep your clients.




Tell me your story:

Dating: Eharmony- like a kayak or the Titanic?

Mary Kay moved to San Francisco and jumped on the EHarmony boat expecting a Crystal Cruise experience,
replete with fascinating men, sparkling conversations, interesting destinations and a whole lot of fun.

 She navigated through the rough waters of the horribly long application of questions, quizzes, and essays. Two hours later, she was ready to sail into the sunset with one of the 15,000 people who fill out the infamous Eharmony questionnaire every day.

After she paid the boarding fee of $60 – a slow dribble of so-called ‘Matches’ appeared in her mailbox.

Like a kid on Christmas morning, she metaphorically ripped off the trappings of trivia: she scanned photos, checked for geographic closeness, education, marital status and interests. That first morning she came up with lumps of coal.

 Abandon Hope All Ye Who Eharmonize?

She thought a man who paraded his ‘Career and Harvard Law’ in the first sentence smacked of insecurity. She preferred a man with some religion – no Bible thumping; no Tea Party boys need apply. She was not interested in any Newts; Jerry Springer or Howard Stern types. The only Mitts she liked were worn by the SF Giants.

 The guy who threw caution to the wind and wrote lurid porn-poetry proved Sartre was right, “Hell is other people.”

Although she was ready to jump ship, Mary Kay decided to give EHarmony one month of her time. Dreams of ping-pong, shuffleboard, mai tais at sunset, walking hand-in-hand pervaded. She wasn’t the type to  participate in Wet T-Shirt or belly-flop pool contests.

 Like the Titanic, “…too much brag and not enough seaworthy construction…” Eharmony had promised romance and smooth sailing. Both failed.

Dull times three

 Patiently, she watched as, day by day, EH sent one or two so-called ‘Perfect Matches.’ Seriously?

The process was so slow, hit a lot of obstacles and left Mary Kay feeling like she was out in the cold. By the end of the disappointing experience she decided to leave the singles cruise on EHarmony, and go ashore,  and stay there.

She decided she would find a newer, better, vehicle for her social life. Next!imageskayaya

Internet Dating Sites are a dime a dozen – some reputable- others- not so much.

Here is a sampling of sites for your dating database:

Oh, ye of a little faith:

Mid-life Sites – 50 and up- in addition to

Tawdry and tacky:

  • (Promotes cheating on your mate)

The Questionable and Quirky niche:

  • (“Date me. Date my pet”),
  • (connecting Ayn Rand fans),
  • (matches people who look alike).


Photo Free Range StockFree Range Stock Summer is Oover Tubes

Do you have a really bad  “The Worst First Date?” nightmare or fiasco?

Tell me about it.

Want more more fun and fireworks, Binkie?

fireworks-574739__180Want more more Fireworks in your love life?

Start with the Golden Rule – Treat them the way you want to be treated and

watch the temperature rise…


Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

 How is that working for you?  Tell me:

Wear Sunscreen, Coke is good for you, I am single – really! Internet Hoaxes

pilttttPILTDOWN MAN was the hoax of the century.

However, the famous Kurt Vonnegut MIT commencement speech, Wear Sunscreen, has to be right up there with the Top 10 Internet Hoaxes. Vonnegut is famous for his writing, especially: Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions. Both were mandatory reading in the ‘70’s for members of the Boom Boom Generation.

Vonnegut, an icon and a hero, supposedly delivered the 1997 speech at MIT. It was a shopping list of life’s lessons filled with glib advice and pithy pointers on living well and coloring outside the lines:

  • Do one thing every day that scares you.
  • Sing.
  • Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
  • Floss.
  • Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
  • Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
  • Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
  • Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

31_riittaikonenhjorthvelkkariWhat’s wrong with this picture?

Unlike many commencement speeches, the clever discourse both resonated and inspired. Myriad copies of the speech flew around the world via e-mail and bounced off one country and ricocheted back. In reality, the piece was written by a well known, highly respected, columnist by the name of Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune. For a long while, as the hoax simmered and sparked, Schmich received zero credit for her well constructed, witty, life’s lessons. Another life’s lesson: you can’t believe everything you read.

sad manCaveat Emptor 

As you meander through a forest of on line dating profiles, remove your rose colored glasses. Learn the all important skill of reading between the lines. Remember the funny and fowl line: If it looks and quacks like a duck- he is not a prince in shining armor.

The Truth is divine. Dance like no one is watching. Don’t kiss and tell – just kiss again.

Gorilla photo_2Buyer Beware.

Yes, I use Coke to clean my  golf clubs…in a short time they go from dark dirty and dire to shiny! Want ice with that? Coke…gotta love it.

Tell me about it. Have you been hoaxed or punk’d? Drop me a line:


Alphabetically going Google?

Spelling Game tiles spell out Help Me

Google   verb    goo·gle \ˈgü-gəl\    derived from comic strip and song “Barney Google circa 1920’s

Barney Google famed for being “the guy with the “goo-goo-googly eyes”


Join the Club:

Confused how a Comic Strip character from your grand parents ( or great grand parents) era could morph into your favorite Verb and vehicle?

Now, get ready for your A, B, C’s as ALPHABET  becomes the HOLDING COMPANY* for Google…


Un-scrabble that

ResearchThe Holding Company – once San Francisco’s hottest Singles Bar


Another – Scam What Am?

bad photos12
Suddenly Single, 60,  Melanie of Brisbane shares the following:                            

One Woman’s Tale of an Internet Dating Scam

Dear Page Larkin.

First Jim winked at me.  He was a 52 yr old man who said he lived in San Francisco and, yet referred to his home in the ‘Land of Enchantment.’ All of us Jeopardy watchers know New Mexico is the Land of Enchantment. Something was fishy…

Bored, curious and dubious, I ‘winked’ back and the following note- {actual grammar and spelling errors included} appeared:

Hello Dearie,

I’m so very glad to get a Mail back from a beautiful Lady like you , I’m really interested in you and you really look so handsome and i would really love to learn so much more about you , but though i don’t come on here much but if you can be able to E-mail me on my Private E-mail that would really made my day and i would really love that and i would be able to get back to you so quick and would reply you with some more about me and if you also have a Yahoo Id we can chat on it , My Yahoo Private E-mail Address is and My Yahoo Instant Messaging Id is jim2kenn and i will be really looking forward to your email and i will be so Glad……………Jim

What do you do in a situation like this? I know it is a scam, Help!  

Melanie in Brisbane


Dear Melanie,

First, you forward the email to the Powers That Be at and wait to see if the less than articulate scammer gets caught and kicked off and out. Then you GOOGLE:  internet dating scams and be prepared to be quickly, well-informed. There is a lot of press about the Nigerian Scams. Everywhere. Buyer Beware.

NIGERIAN SCAMS An advance-fee fraud is a confidence trick in which the target is persuaded to advance sums of money in the hope of realizing a significantly larger gain.[1] Among the variations on this type of scam, are the Nigerian Letter (also called the 419 fraud, Nigerian scam, Nigerian bank scam, or Nigerian money offer[2]),[3] the Spanish Prisoner, the black money scam as well as Russian/Ukrainian scam (also extremely widespread, though far less popular than the former). The so-called Russian and Nigerian scams stand for wholly dissimilar organised-crime traditions; they therefore tend to use altogether different breeds of approaches.

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.” Ben Franklin


Spelling Game tiles spell out Help Me

Caveat Emptor

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