Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

Shopping for a date? Three classic come on’s

Flirting at the Grocery Store?


Suddenly Single: If you are newly-single and think Active Flirting can only take place in a bar or at speed dating event – think again. Every day is an opportunity to meet new people. There is no expiration date on flirting. On your next trip to Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Safeway – get your Flirt On. Here are three true stories- twisted to protect the innocent.

Wine – The next aisle over:

A woman, standing in front of the Merlot selections. A guy walks up – no wedding band, she says, “Hey, does Merlot go with barbecued steak or just Pinot Noir?”

He says, “Cabernet. And the Rosenblum is good. Do you like wine tastings? Rosenblum Cellars has this great Wednesday night wine tasting.  It is pretty cool and a mere ferry ride away- in Oakland. You should check it out.”

She, captivated – listens, continues with the conversation. He helps her select a Cabernet and a Zin. Smart guy, he gives her his card. She says she’ll call- she is over the moon. He’s pretty thrilled. too. And so it begins.

Say Cheese: The Cheese Counter

You say, to the other person- who looks to be single “Excuse me. Hi. I see you have the Comte. Do you think it is as good as the Manchego?”


Hey…, do you have any idea- which cheese goes best with Champagne? It’s my older brother’s 55th birthday and I’m giving a party…” (Note: the plethora of subtle clues in one short sentence.)

In the Bag: Allow me! I would be happy to help….

Kevin C shop sat San Francisco’s famed Rainbow Grocery Store and was the self-proclaimed,  King of Flirting – you could see him chatting-up women right and left. However, his true piece d’ resistance was his friendly offer to help you bags your groceries (Rainbow Policy: Just Do It – Yourself)

Kevin C. claims you can tell more about a women by the groceries she selects than all the chit-chat exchanged in any singles scene. Bagging groceries and flirting were Kevin C’s path to success- he met Kalinda – two years ago- and they have walked down a few aisles together. C’est fini.

Kids, try these at home. Speak to people – say ‘hello’ more often. Remember: smile more, flirt more and you will have more fun. Guaranteed.

Truth is a great flirt.

Franz Liszt


May 28: Singles Meet and Mingle at Giants Game

San Francisco Giants Singles Night!

 Boys and Girls – Get your Red hot Tickets  for the May 28th Giants vs Braves 

Your Giants Game Singles Night ticket includes:

#1. A seat in the special SINGLES section for the game against the Braves,

#2.  Admission to the fabulous Pre-game Singles Party on the Flight Deck of the Virgin America Club Level from 5:15-7 p.m. ( Your Single Mantra: Flirt Early and Flirt often)

Plus!  a voucher for one  beverage, redeemable only at the pre-game party.

See Giants Special Events here


Deja vu all over again? Dating today and Yogi Berra

Was it Mr. Malaprop himself, Yogi Berra, who said, “It’s not how you play the game; it’s all about scoring”?

Kathy, the Pilates Princess of Burlingame, revealed that she was striking out with the men floating around the Internet. She said she kept running into men with an interest in scoring and zero interest in commitment or relationships. Her goal this Merry month of May  is to sign up on a new dating site. She wants to improve her dating chances by trying a new ‘niche-dating site.’

There are hundreds of dating sites to choose from — you’ll see sites for every hobby, club, interest, age, race, color and creed.

As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” If you have made too many “Wrong mistakes,”

Here are five unique ‘niche-dating sites’ you might want to take a swing at:

1. Brand-new on the romance radar is a dating site for-the-girls and by-the-girls called HerWay. Their claim to fame is privacy. They point out your private life and love life should be private and not headlines. Why “tell all” before you even meet a man on line?

(See: Weight, Weight, Don’t’ Tell Me). Good point. Their technique is to allow the men you are interested in to see your profile. Sounds discreet. Finally, you can date on your own terms?

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded. — Yogi Berra

2. For the horsy set. If riding off into the sunset is a goal of yours, these two sites for equestrians may be just for you. Members go to to meet other people who share an appreciation for the ‘country’ set of values and way of life. They didn’t say which country or which values. Or — you can pony up, dressage up, and join the Horse Lovers Singles site.  Ride on.         It gets late early out there. — YB

3. Green Go Green, be environmentally sound and date kindred evo-spirits who care about the environment, animal rights and healthy living. For the love of Earth — go Green.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it. — YB

4. My Country Rather go red, white and blue? My Country appears to be highly patriotic and unique (okay, and a little scary in a Fox News sort of way). This dating site claims to have a ‘code of ethics’ and that they ‘read every single profile.’ Their goal is to “connect single adults who seek real family values.”      The future ain’t’ what it used to be. — YB

5. Metaphysical If you have more of a spiritual bent and if your mantra is, “I never Metaphysical I didn’t like,” check out  Metaphysical meet up. You don’t have to be a wizard or Reiki Master to enjoy the magic.

We have deep depth. — YB

Do the research, evaluate the pros and cons of each site and be certain to compare the cost of each niche-dating site before signing up. New is good, try a new approach. Happy fall … in love.

Remember: It ain’t over, till it’s over. — YB


San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at

My love affair with Billy Collins

Originally posted on Suddenly Single... Minded:

photo_1074_20060214dotttBilly Collins boarded my plane.

I was seated in 17C. He sat alone in 14C.

If my posture was both correct and very erect, I could see him. I could see his head and fractions of his body.

Two of his all-time very best books, “Flying Around the Room” and “Nine Horses” were in my carry-on bag. I was just reading the poems in “The Art of Drowning” last week. Did I conjure him up? Was he traveling alone? What was he reading? Could we do lunch?

I saw him dive into his carry-on and pull out massive Bose headphones. No subtle message there. If ever there was an object that screamed, “Do not talk to me,” its the “Big Boys Bose” headphones.

Craning my neck, I saw a small fraction of his head, shoulder and arm. I casually stretched to gain a better…

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Great Chemistry: The Crush

Chemistry glassware

Chemistry hot hot hot

There is nothing, trust me on this, as exhilarating, X-rated or exciting
as the nascent state of love: The Crush.

The Thermodynamics of Two: It’s hot. You’re hot. They’re hot. Everything is hot. You are a double bond with an electromagnetic attraction.

Centuries of poems and prose, sonnets, haikus, and love songs have been written about the first kiss, romantic interludes, holding hands, stolen kisses – and you still feel like the two of you invented “boiling point

hothothot0091206In the beginning: The sheer excitement of falling in love again and your red hot Crush is organic– with no negative charges. You’ve got chemistry. Bunsen Burner hot chemistry. A whirlwind of hearty flirtations, compounded with the electric pulse of touch – and holding hands is like soft lightning.

Oxytocin is simmering: Hailed as the hug hormone, the cuddle chemical, and the bliss hormone; it courses through your brain…The spontaneity of a reaction – with both your imaginations running rampant – is kinetic and contagious.

People notice. You smile way too much: You’re always in a good mood – you’re texting sweet nothings, bon mots, and wildly flirtatious quips. A lot. And, again, with all the smiling.

Making Beautiful Music Together: Then a veritable tsunami of romantic love songs streams through your imagination. You Spotify – seeking out the best, the sexiest, the most seductive love songs ever (Stones, Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Billy Joel, Sam Smith, Michael Buble)  And the hits keep on coming.

The Temperature is Rising: Boiling Point

Candlelight and poetry are hot. Lingerie is hot. Smart cocktails are hot; holding hands in the corner of that dive bar is hot. You don’t have to be Einstein to know kissing in elevators is really hot. Simple analytical analysis indicates, the elevator at the Bank of America World Headquarters – towering is 52 stories- rates very high on the Elevator Buss Barometer. Going Up!

The physical attraction

Love = xxoo2

ilove u_-9

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, and penetrates

walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

Maya Angelou


Just do it!

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”

Albert Einstein

The way we were

photo_856_20060117two coffee

We met in North Beach at Cafe Roma in 2005

He was an espresso. I was a double latte.

We each sat at our individual marble tables soaking up the rare December sun. Both of us sipping coffee, our faces to the sun.  Puccini ‘s Tosca was playing in the background.

I had just written the last gigantic check to my divorce attorney and the ink was finally dry. A long, sordid chapter in my life was over.

I was elated, shocked and relieved. I knew I should be surrounded by friends sipping Veuve Cliquot champagne.

But, this felt right. I had a huge wave of relief wash over me – followed by a burst of happiness.

I remember it felt  like a 1000 watt light bulb ignited…I was drenched in cliches and epiphanies. And, it wasn’t the caffeine.

You know how sometimes you are so excited you just have to “share” – with someone – anyone?  Women have a propensity for this – we  just do – it’s in our DNA.

I remember feeling so happy and liberated. I was formally “Single and Flying Solo”- no need for a co-pilot.

Later, he told me I was positively beaming as I leaned over and asked him, “Do I look single?”

He was obviously taken aback and then laughed heartily and said, “You look too happy to be married.”

And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


May 7 National Love Letter Day- prepare to swoon

 National Love Letter Day: John Steinbeck’s Most Romantic Letter about Love   photo_1799_20060717 There are no rules: Love letters can written on parchment, on brown paper bags, on the backs of airline tickets, sale receipts, on a post-it note or a linen handkerchief…

Hailed as: The 2015 Most Romantic Love Letter 

John Steinbeck’s 1958 letter to his son, about Love, will make you swoon. This beautiful, whole-hearted letter to his  teenage son, Thom – is in response to the boy who declares his love for a girl named Susan. The sweet and tender words of wisdom are to be cherished.

New York November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable.

The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love. But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you. Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it. The object of love is the best and most beautiful.

Try to live up to it. If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration. Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also. It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it. We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. Love, Fa

John Steinbeck Book of Letters

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Ann Landers


How to quit that Dating Site?


Thanks to Lisa in Livermore:

“Back away from the mouse…

That was the clever way my therapist told me I wasted too much time pursuing and perusing men on the Internet.
She said the two hours I spent, every day, scouring on-line dating sites could be better spent. And if I removed all the karmic energy I was wasting on not loving myself first, the right man would follow.

And so it goes…

I felt like a reformed alcoholic emptying bottles of booze, one after another, as I clicked away and quit the three Internet dating sites I had subscribed to for six months.

Goodbye to guaranteed to meet a fellow Ivy Leaguer. My ill-fated claim to fame – I didn’t meet one man from Penn State, but did meet one from ( wait for it ) the state pen.

I said ov vey, good-bye and mazel tov to my stable of dead-end flirtations at JDate, the Jewish dating service.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Finally, I disassociated myself with my very favorite site “”
I’d met Paul, Nick, John, Mike 1 and Mike 2 and Chuck on DatesRus.  It had been a veritable gold mine for first dates…a few second dates… and buckets of  first kisses.

However, after the first dates – it was generally a dead end. I’d gotten really good at first dates. I’d honed the necessary skills to appear fascinated and had developed great eye contact.

My friends tease me that I had perfected the affected Nancy Regan stare.

Now, I won’t admit to being addicted to the chase, the flirting,  the bon mots flying, however…I will admit I spent a lot of time looking…and then, looking again.

I sounded like Chauncey Gardener. Bad sign.

And, wouldn’t you know it?

Three weeks after Dating De-Tox and pushing away from the gilded mouse / trap…        I met Tim at the Safeway in Livermore.

Turns out, we both like Ben and Jerry ice cream and we  bumped into one another at the freezer section.  There is no California law against lightly bumping into a man’s grocery cart. The irony being that my first really hot date started at the coolest place.  Avoid the Mouse Trap – get out and flirt like a Chunky Monkey. In Love, Lisa”

“One should want only one thing

and want it constantly.”    

Andre Gide

Top 10 Tips for the First Date

SONY DSCWhat to wear? What to say? Where to go?
Here is great advice for enjoying yourself on the big date.
Today, hundreds of couples around San Francisco are meeting for the very first time. Some will meet at Starbucks, others at Golden Gate Park, SOMA, NOPA… Many may be feeling nervous with a facade of calm – hoping their coffee-shop  date or stroll around Stowe Lake or the climbing Mount Sutro date, is going to be a winner. Remember: generally, a good First Date means a Second Great Date.

Here are the Top 10 Best Ways to Have Fun on a First Date

1. Timing is Everything: Arrive on time.
2. Dress up: Flip-flops, cut offs, and a T-shirt? Don’t even think about it. Take the time to dress to impress-casually.
3. Be Prepared: Read their online dating profile again- refresh your memory.
4. Grill Not: Do not bring a list of questions to grill your date with – this is a social engagement – not an interview. Have fun.
5. Score a table at your meeting place-keep an eye on the door for your date.
6. Relax: Make an effort to have your date feel comfortable: smile.
7. Play Nice: One compliment is worth 100 points. A mere, “Your photo doesn’t do you justice” or “You look great” or “I am happy we’re finally meeting” are very good things to say and to hear. Try it.
8. Ladies – pay for yourself; Gentlemen- offer to pay.
9. Ask Questions: As a rule: monologues are dull, vain, and insipid. Really.
10. Listen Up:  Use eye contact and listen – between – the – lines for innuendo, clues, and subtle details. It’s amazing how much you will learn.
Have a good time – remember: The secret to happiness is low expectations.

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Top 10 List: You know you are in love when

Originally posted on Suddenly Single... Minded:


The Top 10 Classic Clues:

You know you  are in love when the Joy of Sex replaces

the Joy of Cooking

You are so ‘In Love’ when:

1. You’ve become bilingual in the language of love – lots of “Sweetheart, babe, honey, and darlings” punctuate your sentences now.

2. It takes you 10 minutes to dress for workand two hours to bathe and then put together the right shoes, outfit, accessories, scent, and fix your hair and prepare for a date with your paramour.

3. You scour The Pink Section, the Pacific Sun, Gold Star  for local jazz and entertainment venues- looking for hot events.

4. The Joy of Cooking has been replaced with The Joy of Sex as your reference manual.

5. Feeling Intoxicated: You seek out that perfect bottle of wine for a perfect evening. Frequently.

6.  You Smile and Laugh way more than…

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